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You’ll notice that this is neither the Friday Five nor Sexy Friday. We got rid of Sexy Friday because too many people bitched about it not being posted by the time they wanted it to be posted, and when we posted it other people would bitch about whichever image of an attractive woman not being sexy enough. So we replaced it with the Friday Five, which has led to three weeks of bitching about there not being a Sexy Friday, without any kind of realization that that’s the exact kind of behavior we delight in punishing.

This is symptomatic of a larger trend. In general, the quality of the comments at KSK has declined dramatically over the last year or so, so let’s get some things straight.

The purpose of the comments here at KSK is to add something humorous to the discussion. We don’t want feedback in the comments. You want to give us feedback? Our emails — individual and collective — are on the right sidebar. The comments should be a humorous extension of the post (whether or not the post itself succeeded at humor).

So no, we don’t want bullshit like, “This post is as funny as my mom dying of cancer.” We don’t need to hear how it’s better or worse than some other KSK post by a different writer. And we don’t want handjobs telling us how great it is, either. Dovetail off of jokes. Take the conversation in humorous new directions. Make fun of the KSK staff.  Make the other readers and other commenters laugh. BRING THE FUNNY OR GET THE FUCK OUT.

Nowhere in those guidelines is there room for “Wah wah, I want Sexy Friday!” or “Hey, why hasn’t my favorite weekly post showed up yet?” or anything that assumes that YOU dictate the content here. THIS ISN’T FUCKING BURGER KING. If you want to know where the next post is, the answer is always WE ARE FUCKING WORKING ON IT.

So here’s the deal: if nobody bitches for the next week about Sexy Friday — and I mean NOBODY utters that fucking phrase — then next week, you get Sexy Friday. If you get Sexy Friday next week, and nobody calls the hot woman that you’d be fortunate to engage in carnal relations with ugly, and nobody says, “About damn time,” and nobody says how much better it is than the Friday Five, and the following week continues without someone bitching about Sexy Friday, then — and ONLY THEN — you get another Sexy Friday.

So, commenters, consider yourselves on a week-to-week probation. Shape the fuck up. If you add something worthwhile to the site, you will be rewarded. If you make the blog less fun for the bloggers providing the content, then you don’t get what you want. Do not for an instant underestimate just how far we will go to spite the collective for the idiocy of a few. We are angry, petty men, and we don’t care about your happiness.

Have a great weekend! See you Sunday!