Definitive Proof That (Purple) Jesus Is Not Accepting of the Gays
Brad Childress will only rush him once every three plays inside the opponent’s one-yard-line, but Purple Jesus made the most of his opportunity to flatten Steelers cornerback William Gay (says flubby: FROM… LOUISVILLE!) Of course, Peterson’s truckage was wasted a few plays later when Brett Favre and Chester Taylor conspired to put the ball in Keyaron Fox’s chest* and cost Minnesota the game.
*”Really all the refs’ fault” – bitchy Vikings fans
A reader sent this screencap of sudden receiving threat Miles Austin showing off his ghastly shark-like teeth yesterday. Truly disturbing. It’s like he swallowed the Vampire Fleshlight.
I don’t need to tell any regular reader of KSK what’s in store for them after the jump.
Were we enterprising folk, we’d make moutheyes costumes for Halloween. But we’re not. Or at least possibly merciful about inflicting nightmares on others. No, that can’t be it. Lazy it is.
Tags: all purple teams must blame the refs, purple jesus, rumphy hits, smilin' miles, xmas ape
![[badge]](http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/themes/default/images/100121_FOXmsnBadge_200x50.gif)
October 26th, 2009 at 11:39 am
Get away from her, YOU BITCH!
October 26th, 2009 at 11:41 am
I knew he looked familiar.
http://www.collintheatrecenter.com/PastShows/2005/BatBoy/Photos/BatBoy-scanned.jpg
October 26th, 2009 at 11:44 am
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!
October 26th, 2009 at 11:46 am
Miles Austin will eat your babies, bitch!
October 26th, 2009 at 11:52 am
Most frightening one yet.
October 26th, 2009 at 11:53 am
I knew what was there and I still went.
And as a Viking fan who does NOT blame the refs, I do blame the stupid play calling of TWO pass plays inside the one? Chilly, you suck.
October 26th, 2009 at 11:53 am
When I saw Miles’ ghastly grin on Sunday. All I could think was Cenobite.
http://pics.livejournal.com/icon_uk/pic/0028pr77
October 26th, 2009 at 11:54 am
I knew it was coming, but had to click through just to see…
/would love a mouth eyes costume for Halloween. Marmalard is still the scariest.
October 26th, 2009 at 11:55 am
I would’ve said more horse-like than shark-like, but it’s terrifying regardless of animal reference. And, honestly, it might be equally as nightmare-fueling without the mouth eyes.
October 26th, 2009 at 11:55 am
Miles Austin is actually New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez. Austin/ARod wears bigger teeth when he’s on the diamond. Yesterday was a particularly busy day for AuRod, but no problemo: that’s just a day in the life for a superhero who defends two jackass cities.
October 26th, 2009 at 11:56 am
All I could think of when I saw Austin live was KSK. Now I would like to see a Freddy vs. Jason style epic battle of the moutheyes, Peppers vs. Austin that would probably make me Najeh my pants.
October 26th, 2009 at 12:06 pm
BARAKA WINS
October 26th, 2009 at 12:10 pm
It looks like they circumcised his upper lip.
October 26th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
I knew what was going to happen, and it still freaked me out, what a sad person I am…
October 26th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
are these comments funny enough to pass ksk’s scrutiny? i dont know.
October 26th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
It looks like his bottom row is giving the middle finger to everyone unfortunate enough to see this. You can tell that he’s had his wisdom teeth removed just from looking at his superhappy smirreyface.
I immediately wanted to view that moutheyes picture of marmalard. I humbly propose a moutheyes tag.
October 26th, 2009 at 12:23 pm
Hines Wald no happy Mires Austin try take titre numbell one smaltest smirretime leceivel.
October 26th, 2009 at 12:24 pm
“trucked” as a verb seems to be rather en vouge. I’m all for extending it beyond the football realm a la “Oprah totally trucked that footlong meatball hoagie.”
October 26th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
The only thing more emasculating for Gay would be if Peterson threw money on him after the hit.
October 26th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
He looks like Karl Rupert Kronen from Hellboy.
October 26th, 2009 at 12:40 pm
As a non-Vikes non-Farve fan, I’ll say that the tripping call was blown and changed the outcome of the game. Of course, the Vikes would also have won it without Farve’s fumble and INT…
October 26th, 2009 at 12:41 pm
As a non-Vikes non-Farve fan, I’ll say that the tripping call was blown and changed the outcome of the game.
And the blown call on Heath Miller that negated Santonio’s TD in the first quarter?
Pfft, That don’t mean nothing.
October 26th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
Miles Austin trying to smile: ur doin it wrong
October 26th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
Guess we know William is a “bottom.”
October 26th, 2009 at 12:47 pm
wawawawawah. I rescind former request for a moutheyes tag, and simpree lequest that this one get the “nightmare fuel” tag.
October 26th, 2009 at 12:50 pm
As a non-Vikes non-Farve fan, I’ll say that the tripping call was blown and changed the outcome of the game.
And the blown call on Heath Miller that negated Santonio’s TD in the first quarter?
Pfft, That don’t mean nothing.
They probably would’ve given him that one but I think that was punishment for him flexing his bicep after every catch. If I walked around my office flexing my bicep every time I did something I got paid to do I’d probably be looking for work.
October 26th, 2009 at 12:52 pm
Not only did he hit him like A CONCRETE WALL OF CYANIDE, but Purple Jesus actually steps right on Gay’s chest as he runs him over. What a monster.
That said, Tom Brady should win the Meast award this week because he is in fact Tom Brady, and I fully support any Pats fan that wants to email the guys to argue this point.
October 26th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
Miles Austin is in a heated battle with Tony Romo for leading the league in smiling.
October 26th, 2009 at 1:10 pm
Has anyone seen Miles Austin and the Alien in the same room? I din’t think so.
October 26th, 2009 at 1:10 pm
Am I the only one that thinks Miles Austin without moutheyes is MORE unsettling than Miles Austin with them?
October 26th, 2009 at 1:11 pm
/Wade Phillips backs away slowly
“We’re gonna need a bigger boat.”
October 26th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
I could’ve sword Aragon cut the Mouth of Sauron’s head off at the Black Gate. Huh.
/nnnneeeeeeeeeerd!
October 26th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
Mike Shanahan thinks Miles Austin looks great.
October 26th, 2009 at 1:14 pm
sworN. Jesus. I am disgraphic, but still.
October 26th, 2009 at 1:15 pm
No, I get to sword Aragon. Fuckin’ prick’s got it coming.
October 26th, 2009 at 1:27 pm
That got gay real fast, as most disgraphic errors do.
October 26th, 2009 at 1:31 pm
Miles Austin=Vincent Schiavelli: http://www.zuguide.com/image/Vincent-Schiavelli-Ghost.4.jpg
October 26th, 2009 at 1:34 pm
Good to see one of these again and you couldn’t have picked a better subject. But Marmalard is still the pinnacle in nightmare inducing moutheyes.
October 26th, 2009 at 1:41 pm
John Elway and Shannon Sharpe aren’t impressed.
October 26th, 2009 at 1:42 pm
You gotta give Gay credit, even after he gets knocked on his back and stepped on you can see him still trying to grab at Purple Jesus’s leg and at least slow him down a little.
October 26th, 2009 at 1:44 pm
Miles Austin leads the league in teeth.
October 26th, 2009 at 1:44 pm
It burns us.
http://www.freakingnews.com/Gollum-Mouth-Eyes-Pictures-41967.asp
October 26th, 2009 at 1:50 pm
Miles Austin’s moutheyes are like a very different, much hotter version of hell where one could get eaten at any minute by a feeding frenzy of Austins. That being said…
HOW BOUT THEM COWBOYS?!?!?!
October 26th, 2009 at 1:51 pm
i don’t know, Cutler and Kobe creep my shit out pretty bad
October 26th, 2009 at 1:54 pm
Brian Bosworth thinks that Gay got pwned pretty badly.
October 26th, 2009 at 2:02 pm
I would buy a moutheye mask if you guys made them.
I would be willing to go as high as $7.50 for one.
October 26th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
Miles Austin and Jerry Jones lead the league in gritty teethy-ness
October 26th, 2009 at 2:16 pm
What, exactly, is the point of a ‘moutheyes’ mask? Every mask I’ve ever seen had the eye holes cut out….
October 26th, 2009 at 2:16 pm
peytons the meast this week. book it
October 26th, 2009 at 2:20 pm
Jesus, my fellow Vikings fans, no more talk about the goddamn refs. It wasn’t the poor officiating that fucked us over- it was Brad Childress, Brett Favre, Pittsburgh’s defense and the Jews.
October 26th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
Of course the refs were the reason the Vikings lost.
The NFL does not condone Gay-bashing
October 26th, 2009 at 2:49 pm
Moutheyes *shudders*…
Its like a hideous car wreck, you know whats after the jump, but you click it anyway. And it hurts. But you still stare.
And Vikings fans dont act like Seahawks fans. You guys benefited from our early TD getting wiped by a OPI call on the opposite side of the field, and your surehanded RB tipped a ball RIGHT to us. Surely that had nothing to do with the final score?
October 26th, 2009 at 3:02 pm
I’m a diehard Steelers fan (as my posting name implies) but I LOVED that hit by Peterson. Not only because it was quasi-Jerome Bettis-esque but because it was on William Gay. I hate William Gay. And not just for the typical reason Pittsburghers hate a professional athlete (ie: he’s black). Because he’s the kind of guy who does nothing all game long, has his D giving up huge chunks of yardage at crunch time, and when he makes a tackle for a three yard gain he’ll pose and celebrate like he just won the Super Bowl. Glad to see that tool get tooled, even though it almost cost us the game.
October 26th, 2009 at 3:17 pm
Damn, LT’s Happy Feet beat me to the “Gay-bashing” joke.
All fanbases tend to blame the refs for losses, some (Ravens) just do it more than others.
October 26th, 2009 at 3:31 pm
I like the slow-motion Favre meltdown. A few weeks ago he throws a pick in the endzone only to be saved by a bogus flag. Now he throws a pick to lose the a game. Sure, Taylor should have caught it, but then again Favre should have thrown it better. How hard is it to hit a wide-open guy from 3 yards away?
From here on out the picks get shittier and shittier. I feel sorry for AP.
And I think Austin looks scarier without the teeth-eyes.
October 26th, 2009 at 3:51 pm
Yeah, its scary and all, but the Original Rivers, the Osiris of that shit, is by far the most frightening.
October 26th, 2009 at 5:09 pm
Miles Austin gave Capcom the inspiration for the Nemesis in Resident Evil 3.
/nerd
October 26th, 2009 at 7:53 pm
Let the collapse of Favre begin!
October 27th, 2009 at 11:33 am
this was all i could think of
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_tuj6CIbZibk/Rl3opS_WITI/AAAAAAAAAHk/JkhHvFZ32Ls/s400/alien.jpg
October 27th, 2009 at 1:08 pm
That geoduct slobbing halfrican led to my 1st defeat of the season.
October 27th, 2009 at 11:53 pm
that……….is……….scary