billjoshwyg

Last year, Josh McDaniels was tasked with making Matt Cassel look like an adequate quarterback, and by employing the daring strategy of exploiting a stacked receiving corps, he was able to accomplish just that. Having done so, it was certainty that some foolish team would be willing to let him run their team into the ground. That team turned out to be the Broncos. As with so many of his other underqualified underlings, Bill Belichick was content to let him out into the world to destroy another franchise’s hopes at competency. But McDaniels has stubbornly flouted the established Belichick disciple model and found a measure of success (or at least taken the credit for the success Mike Nolan’s defense has gotten him). Is McDaniels crazy enough to try to beat his former master. Knowest he nothing of fealty? Anyway, WHO YA GOT?

Contestants

Bill Belichick_______________________Josh McDaniels

Age

TOO OLD (or so claims Simmons when the Pats lose)___________Thirty-three (THAT’S FACKIN LARRY LEGEND’S NUMBAH! SUPER BOWL!)

Has he fully harnessed the power of the hoodie?

He was the first to wield it!_______________________Not really

Hobbies

Starring coldly at you until you ask a different question_____NASCAR, a little golf

How has nepotism helped him?

Father was a college coach_________Got first coaching job because his dad is friends with Nick Saban

HOW MANY GRITTY FACKIN’ WHITE RECEIVERS THEY GOT?

grittyscale

AND HOW MANY NO-GOOD SHIFTLESS GIRL-PUNCHING DAAAAHHHHKKIIIEEE RECEIVERS?

Randy Moss_______________________________Brandon Marshall

Noted illicit means of gaining advantage

Spy cameras______________________________SuperAIDS

Methods of counteracting said advantage

Tattling former assistants, come-hither looks from married women____SuperMAGICJOHNSONCURE

Finishing Move

Not listing your death on the injury report___Spreading more lies about Swedish lesbian lumberjacks