An Excuse To Post This Picture of Marmalard
Earlier this season Sports Illustrated polled 246 current NFL players to come up with another one of their gallery lists of the most underrated players in the NFL. Wes Welker was the big winner, claiming 7% of the vote, while KSK favorite Philip Rivers finished ninth with 1.6% (4 votes).
The point of lists like this is to generate preposterous debates about which we really couldn’t care less. The only people who put stock in this nonsense are probably the same ones complaining about our selections for made up weekly awards (What do you mean Peyton isn’t the Meast? HE PASSES FOR 300 YARDS EVERY WEEK!). Normally we wouldn’t bother posting about the results of such a poll, but just look at the picture SI chose to run for Philip Rivers. That’s the stuff floats are made of.
WHAT? HUH? WHAT? TO THE MOON!
Tags: Auntie Anne's is highly underrated, Epic Float, Listing the most underrated players is like ranking intangibles, marmalard, Underrated throwing motion, Unsilent Majority
October 14th, 2009 at 2:20 pm
WELKAH IS SO UNDAHRAYTED!!! HE’S BETTAH THAN ANY DAHKIE EVAH!!!
/drinks Twisted Tea, hits Sully’s girlfriend
October 14th, 2009 at 2:21 pm
CHECK OUT THE ABSTINENCE RING ON MY LEFT PINKY! IT’S MADE OF TAPE BECAUSE IT SYMBOLIZES HOW GIRLS SHOULD TAPE THEIR PUSSY SHUT!
October 14th, 2009 at 2:25 pm
Wow. Luis Tiant has nothing on this.
/I know baseball.
//Fucking off now.
October 14th, 2009 at 2:28 pm
The picture is so perfect I honestly can’t think of anything funny to say.
October 14th, 2009 at 2:32 pm
Not pictured : Tiny Pocket Darren shouting “No, DOWN HERE, dipshit!!!”
October 14th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
That pic is float-rific! MARMALARD!
I bet he does feels underrated.
October 14th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
Alternate caption: “ARRRGH! BEEEEES!!!!”
October 14th, 2009 at 2:53 pm
Not pictured: Vincent Jackson bailing him out at least three times a game with incredible catches.
October 14th, 2009 at 3:00 pm
Not pictured: Charger fan punching themselves in face realizing they could have Drew Brees and Larry Fitgerald instead of Marmalard and Shawn Merriman, office rapist.
October 14th, 2009 at 3:01 pm
No WONDER last week’s moon bombing was so underwhelming!
/C-SPAN’d
October 14th, 2009 at 3:15 pm
This Poll proves one thing: NFL players don’t know what the word “underrated”.
Also, its hard to be 100% sure, but I think this particular photo is of one of the finest of King Laserface’s Floats in which he all but precision air-dropped a pass in by parachute into VJs hands for a TD. It’s amazing that something can be simultaneously so damned ugly and yet so beautiful.
October 14th, 2009 at 3:18 pm
Punt Pass & Kick photo from SD?
October 14th, 2009 at 3:19 pm
yikes, that other hand doesnt look too healthy. one finger definitely looks dislocated.
October 14th, 2009 at 3:22 pm
“imma throw it up rrrrreallllly high, guys”
October 14th, 2009 at 3:26 pm
“Loogit! I’m Dan Fouts!”
October 14th, 2009 at 3:27 pm
Tony Romo said, “Motherfucker is copying my throwing mechanics!”
October 14th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
can we get another one of rex ryans famous pep talks maybe one time can u do a press conference.
October 14th, 2009 at 3:36 pm
Should we really be making fun of him anymore? Look at his non-throwing hand.. he’s obviously retarted
October 14th, 2009 at 3:51 pm
Marmalard!!Watch out for Audrey II!!
October 14th, 2009 at 3:57 pm
Obviously Philip is underrated because the mainstream media’s desire to see a good quarterback succeed in the NFL.
October 14th, 2009 at 3:59 pm
This is the most retarded thing SI has run since its last Peter King article.
In what universe are Drew Brees and Andre Johnson underrated?
Apparently Steve Smith isn’t getting his due, but every O-lineman and defensive player is.
SI has run its course. It either needs to switch to all swimsuits all the time, or go away.
October 14th, 2009 at 4:01 pm
And not a defensive player in the bunch. Way to be, SI.
October 14th, 2009 at 4:01 pm
Oh, so I guess you don’t want our post-hoc input on your little Meast selections every week… Well. Then.
October 14th, 2009 at 4:02 pm
I knew Marmalard’s delivery was unorthodox, but jeebus. He looks like he doesn’t have the energy to put up a float of any length, much less a float 2 yards short of its receiver.
October 14th, 2009 at 4:09 pm
Aren’t you supposed to look up to the heaven’s AFTER you release the ball?
October 14th, 2009 at 4:18 pm
My complaints are lofty complaints, mutha fucka!! I took the time to type them into this intarwebby box thingy and made sure they were quasi-coherent, the least you can do is to take them as serious as you can, despite the semi-anonymous nature of our relationship.
MY COMMENTS ARE MORE SERIOUS THAN ANY OTHERS COMMENTS!! NO ONE DENIES THIS!!!
October 14th, 2009 at 4:21 pm
So “underrated” means “undersized” or playing in a smaller market to NFL players? Are Sproles and Welker seriously underrated to anyone? Are people out there going, you know those guys really suck, let’s not have anyone defend them.
October 14th, 2009 at 4:34 pm
Also underrated: crullers.
October 14th, 2009 at 5:09 pm
How can someone look at that pose, imagine the (dare I say? I do) LOFTY FLOAT that accompanies it, and not love this QB?
I know one day, if I ever meet Rivers, I’ll be disappointed that he’s nothing like his KSK Kharacter.
October 14th, 2009 at 5:24 pm
auntie anne’s is totally underrated. can’t leave the mall or the airport without visiting.
October 14th, 2009 at 7:35 pm
Four of these guys are pretty much universally considered top ten receivers in the NFL. Another was the top preseason MVP pick. I don’t know how this list could be any worse. Two of the backs were consensus first-round fantasy picks. I don’t know how this list could be any worse.
The point of lists like this is to generate preposterous debates about which we really couldn’t care less.
/mission accomplished, fuckfaces
October 14th, 2009 at 7:48 pm
Little known fact…one of King Philip’s floats was so lofty it drafted free of the Earth’s gravity and escaped into space. Today this little beauty is known as Voyager I.
October 14th, 2009 at 8:51 pm
This picture illustrates the mechanics of a loft.
October 14th, 2009 at 8:53 pm
@Cold Tub: Lofty.
October 15th, 2009 at 8:45 am
@Cold Tub: Does this mean it returns to future earth seeking Laserface and sends us a sexy bald android in the process?
/puts on red shirt
October 15th, 2009 at 8:53 am
Does Marmalard have a peg leg?
October 15th, 2009 at 9:13 am
Sadly Zero, in an effort to honor the wishes of its creator it sends back only Chastitybots.
October 15th, 2009 at 1:01 pm
How did the humping seals get on the field?