Earlier this season Sports Illustrated polled 246 current NFL players to come up with another one of their gallery lists of the most underrated players in the NFL. Wes Welker was the big winner, claiming 7% of the vote, while KSK favorite Philip Rivers finished ninth with 1.6% (4 votes).
The point of lists like this is to generate preposterous debates about which we really couldn’t care less. The only people who put stock in this nonsense are probably the same ones complaining about our selections for made up weekly awards (What do you mean Peyton isn’t the Meast? HE PASSES FOR 300 YARDS EVERY WEEK!). Normally we wouldn’t bother posting about the results of such a poll, but just look at the picture SI chose to run for Philip Rivers. That’s the stuff floats are made of.
WHAT? HUH? WHAT? TO THE MOON!
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/lol-gonna-miss-you-nfl-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/scrooge-150x150.gif)
How did the humping seals get on the field?
Sadly Zero, in an effort to honor the wishes of its creator it sends back only Chastitybots.
Does Marmalard have a peg leg?
@Cold Tub: Does this mean it returns to future earth seeking Laserface and sends us a sexy bald android in the process?
/puts on red shirt
@Cold Tub: Lofty.
This picture illustrates the mechanics of a loft.
Little known fact…one of King Philip’s floats was so lofty it drafted free of the Earth’s gravity and escaped into space. Today this little beauty is known as Voyager I.
Four of these guys are pretty much universally considered top ten receivers in the NFL. Another was the top preseason MVP pick. I don’t know how this list could be any worse. Two of the backs were consensus first-round fantasy picks. I don’t know how this list could be any worse.
The point of lists like this is to generate preposterous debates about which we really couldn’t care less.
/mission accomplished, fuckfaces
auntie anne’s is totally underrated. can’t leave the mall or the airport without visiting.
How can someone look at that pose, imagine the (dare I say? I do) LOFTY FLOAT that accompanies it, and not love this QB?
I know one day, if I ever meet Rivers, I’ll be disappointed that he’s nothing like his KSK Kharacter.
Also underrated: crullers.
So “underrated” means “undersized” or playing in a smaller market to NFL players? Are Sproles and Welker seriously underrated to anyone? Are people out there going, you know those guys really suck, let’s not have anyone defend them.
My complaints are lofty complaints, mutha fucka!! I took the time to type them into this intarwebby box thingy and made sure they were quasi-coherent, the least you can do is to take them as serious as you can, despite the semi-anonymous nature of our relationship.
MY COMMENTS ARE MORE SERIOUS THAN ANY OTHERS COMMENTS!! NO ONE DENIES THIS!!!
Aren’t you supposed to look up to the heaven’s AFTER you release the ball?
I knew Marmalard’s delivery was unorthodox, but jeebus. He looks like he doesn’t have the energy to put up a float of any length, much less a float 2 yards short of its receiver.
Oh, so I guess you don’t want our post-hoc input on your little Meast selections every week… Well. Then.
And not a defensive player in the bunch. Way to be, SI.
This is the most retarded thing SI has run since its last Peter King article.
In what universe are Drew Brees and Andre Johnson underrated?
Apparently Steve Smith isn’t getting his due, but every O-lineman and defensive player is.
SI has run its course. It either needs to switch to all swimsuits all the time, or go away.
Obviously Philip is underrated because the mainstream media’s desire to see a good quarterback succeed in the NFL.
Marmalard!!Watch out for Audrey II!!
Should we really be making fun of him anymore? Look at his non-throwing hand.. he’s obviously retarted
can we get another one of rex ryans famous pep talks maybe one time can u do a press conference.
Tony Romo said, “Motherfucker is copying my throwing mechanics!”
“Loogit! I’m Dan Fouts!”
“imma throw it up rrrrreallllly high, guys”
yikes, that other hand doesnt look too healthy. one finger definitely looks dislocated.
Punt Pass & Kick photo from SD?
This Poll proves one thing: NFL players don’t know what the word “underrated”.
Also, its hard to be 100% sure, but I think this particular photo is of one of the finest of King Laserface’s Floats in which he all but precision air-dropped a pass in by parachute into VJs hands for a TD. It’s amazing that something can be simultaneously so damned ugly and yet so beautiful.
No WONDER last week’s moon bombing was so underwhelming!
/C-SPAN’d
Not pictured: Charger fan punching themselves in face realizing they could have Drew Brees and Larry Fitgerald instead of Marmalard and Shawn Merriman, office rapist.
Not pictured: Vincent Jackson bailing him out at least three times a game with incredible catches.
Alternate caption: “ARRRGH! BEEEEES!!!!”
That pic is float-rific! MARMALARD!
I bet he does feels underrated.
Not pictured : Tiny Pocket Darren shouting “No, DOWN HERE, dipshit!!!”
The picture is so perfect I honestly can’t think of anything funny to say.
Wow. Luis Tiant has nothing on this.
/I know baseball.
//Fucking off now.
CHECK OUT THE ABSTINENCE RING ON MY LEFT PINKY! IT’S MADE OF TAPE BECAUSE IT SYMBOLIZES HOW GIRLS SHOULD TAPE THEIR PUSSY SHUT!
WELKAH IS SO UNDAHRAYTED!!! HE’S BETTAH THAN ANY DAHKIE EVAH!!!
/drinks Twisted Tea, hits Sully’s girlfriend