Always Be Covering: Unless You Love Cancer And Hate Breasts
October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and once again the NFL is working alongside the American Cancer Society to raise awareness about the disease. That means over the course of the next month you’re going to get an eyeful of more pink than Matt Leinart on spring break with various players sporting pink equipment because it looks cool and attracts attention they are deeply committed to this important cause.
While the pink infusion won’t have any direct impact on the games themselves, it will play a key roll in determining my favorite prop bet of the week.
On to the picks!
Baltimore +2 at New England
Vince Wilfork and Jerod Mayo will likely be out for Sunday’s game (although they both participated in practice this morning. That’s just the kind of advantage Baltimore’s offense needs to make them look more explosive than they really are.
New York Giants -9 at Kansas City
Because there is no good reason to not bet against Todd Haley.
New Orleans -7 vs. New York Jets
Both teams are 3-0 and perfect against the spread. I’ll give up the points to take the home team. Somehow I feel like I’ve let Rex down, and that makes me feel shitty.
Cincinnati -6 at Cleveland
San Diego +7 at Pittsburgh
Chad Ochocinco will be wearing his pink cleats while Marmalard will be wearing his lucky pink garter. HUH? WHAT? IT MAKES ME FEEL SEXY!
First coach to be fired during the 2009 regular season…
Jim Zorn 5/13
Jack Del Rio 7/2
John Fox 5/1
Dick Jauron 5/1
Gary Kubiak 8/1
NO ACTION! I personally can’t wait for Zorn’s ouster, but I’m not holding my breath on it happening before the season is over. Zorn is the overwhelming favorite to be the first to go even though there is no potential successor within the organization, even on an interim level.
Total regular season starts for Josh Freeman…
Over 1.5 (-125)
Raheem Morris knows that his team’s season is already in the tank, why not trot the rookie out for a few starts at some point? Also, who the fuck is Josh Johnson?
How many times will Deanna Favre be shown during the Monday Night Football broadcast…
Over 1.5 (-175)
SWEET JESUS! It’s like we’ve been blessed with a gift from above to make up for having to see Mrs. Favraro all night. I’d take the over on this bet if it were just Favre’s first game against Green Bay. Couple that with the kickoff of National Breast Cancer Awareness Month and it’s a god damn lock.
Enjoy the games, and if you happen to win some money you might consider donating some of it to help save future breasts. Breasts like these…
Tags: Always Be Covering, cancer is such an asshole, Gambling, Mrs. Favraro, Unsilent Majority
October 2nd, 2009 at 1:49 pm
I can’t tell you how relieved I am to see that your three single-game picks are in opposition to Gamblor’s.
October 2nd, 2009 at 1:52 pm
She’s just a little top-heavy
October 2nd, 2009 at 2:02 pm
Picks of the week (in German)
http://hundertmarkblog.de/insensible-addiction-ein-tag-im-leben-einer-popelnden-frau/
October 2nd, 2009 at 2:02 pm
Minor correction that the GB-Min game is not Favre’s return to Green Bay until later in the season. But keep digging up pics like that and you can say Favre plays linebacker for the Steelers for all I care.
October 2nd, 2009 at 2:05 pm
Yeah, my mistake there. I fixed it.
October 2nd, 2009 at 2:08 pm
That’s okay Maj, that’s not the worst (or most expensive) mistake anyone has made so far about this game.
October 2nd, 2009 at 2:12 pm
It gets worse.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/gigspix/3972183129/
Oh, how it ever gets worse.
October 2nd, 2009 at 2:12 pm
That girl is fantanstic. I’d like to remind everyone that while raising awareness and money for breast cancer is obviously a good cause, prostate cancer kills more men than breast cancer kills women and men combined. And receives far less attention and funding for research. So please, don’t forgot to support prostate cancer awareness and fundraising as well as breast cancer.
/Movember is coming up
October 2nd, 2009 at 2:15 pm
Enjoy the games, and if you happen to win some money you might consider making a donating some of it to help save future breasts.
This sentence is a mind fuck.
October 2nd, 2009 at 2:16 pm
Just think Rocco… we’d have more pictures of girls like her if you hadn’t killed Sexy Friday.
October 2nd, 2009 at 2:16 pm
Haha! I love you grammar.
October 2nd, 2009 at 2:19 pm
Supporting breast cancer all month long
Wooohooo! That’s right! GO BREAST CANCER GO! You can do it! Kick some ass!
October 2nd, 2009 at 2:30 pm
Thanks Rocco. First we lose Sexy Friday. Now we’ll get pictures of prostates, or worse, prostate eyes.
/shudders
October 2nd, 2009 at 2:41 pm
At least Rocco didn’t link to another picture of an ugly broad.
October 2nd, 2009 at 2:44 pm
My god you made a convincing argument at the end there.
And while I never support the burning of Terrible Towels, that pink thing is an abomination and must be destroyed. Yerrow is onry favolite corol for making towerr smirretime, just rike favolite leceivel.
October 2nd, 2009 at 2:49 pm
HEAD COACH Todd Haley won’t allow his team to fight cancer. JUST EXECUTE MY GAME PLAN!
October 2nd, 2009 at 2:53 pm
At least Rocco didn’t link to another picture of an ugly broad.
Please don’t encourage him… I just had lunch.
October 2nd, 2009 at 2:55 pm
For Prostate cancer, should we make all the players wear Brown? Or does Cleveland just cover our bases?
And sweet lord thems some fine titties.
Agreed on the Parlay although I think Pittsburgh beats San Diego, it wont be by much.
October 2nd, 2009 at 3:27 pm
I had nothing do with Sexy Friday. UNJUST ACCUSATIONS!
October 2nd, 2009 at 3:33 pm
So, is this “Sexy Friday” light?
October 2nd, 2009 at 3:45 pm
I still don’t think that girl, or my ex, were all that ugly. Whatever.
October 2nd, 2009 at 3:51 pm
Gary Kubiak 8/1
There is where the moneymaker is!
October 2nd, 2009 at 4:06 pm
@ Rocco
What’s the deal with this ex you manage to work into every dialogue? I can sympathize with not thinking straight after you’ve had your heart broken, but this is getting weird. Funny, but weird.
October 2nd, 2009 at 4:10 pm
@Rocco
Man, you put clothes on a one of those rat dogs. Gee, I don’t know, … um … yeah …
/coughs nervously
October 2nd, 2009 at 4:27 pm
@Gino: I believe it was Rob in WI and LaFarve working that in, not me. In response, figured everyone could use some fugly, seeing that I already ruined Sexy Friday and all.
October 2nd, 2009 at 4:35 pm
Peter King wrote on Monday that ” Zorn isn’t going anywhere except to work for the Washington Redskins”. Is that the equivalent of the dreaded ” vote of confidence ” ?
October 2nd, 2009 at 4:37 pm
Rocco Says:
September 24th, 2009 at 4:30 pm
Thursday is my dart league night, so may I request that the Mailbag gets posted a little earlier? It’s much more convenient to read the ‘bag during work hours (8-5 EST). Thanks.
Lest we forget the comment that killed Sexy Friday dead.
October 2nd, 2009 at 4:40 pm
Captain Caveman Says:
September 25th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
Remember all those times commenters bitched about Sexy Friday arriving too late or the girls not being hot enough?
Commenters, please learn: when you complain about something, we don’t work harder for you. We destroy something you love.
And the response…
October 2nd, 2009 at 4:43 pm
Wait. That was a very politely worded request. Regarding the Thursday mailbag. I like to be able to read it and chime in with useless opinions in a timely fashion. What does that have to do with Sexy Friday? STOP PICKING ON ME! Don’t be mad at me because you live in WI.
/drives home to Lackawanna, an even worse city than Buffalo.
October 2nd, 2009 at 4:43 pm
That’s true, Rocco. You didn’t bring up the ex in this particular instance, but she came up anyway. She keeps coming up here.
And the dog sweaters were her idea, right?
October 2nd, 2009 at 4:49 pm
@Gino: Yes, the dog sweater was all her. Give me a little credit. That original pic is all my fault, but hey, I’m sure there’s been more than a few laughs because of it. Probably all at me, but hey, whatever.
October 2nd, 2009 at 4:58 pm
Zack- how did that work out last week?
October 2nd, 2009 at 5:05 pm
Rocco may have ruined Sexy Friday for us all, but as far as I’m concerned It ain’t goin’ out like that.
http://realtalkny.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/s1.jpg
http://realtalkny.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/l44.jpg
http://ugc.dhingana.com/uploads/news/41034082748a17c03003a88.83624645.jpg
http://mos.totalfilm.com/images/1/10-actresses-who-could-be-the-next-bond-girl-05-430-75.jpg
http://colombiareports.com/pics/2008/09/miss_colombia_2009.jpg
You’re welcome.
Now go out there and start pussytubing!!!
October 2nd, 2009 at 5:36 pm
Know whats wrong with the pink bra young lady? Absolutely nothing. ‘Cept of course we don’t see enough . . . Oink.
October 2nd, 2009 at 5:57 pm
I like the Terrell Owens targets over 5 1/2. You know they are going to try to get him the ball at all cost the way things have been going
October 2nd, 2009 at 6:06 pm
@Maj: Touché. But the sportsbooks also took a huge beating last weekend, and if Gambor’s performance over the season mimics that of the casinos, it should end up being a very profitable year indeed.
October 3rd, 2009 at 10:05 am
Rex is gonna IM Skullfuck you for picking against his boys. That is as soon as T Jones tells him what a website is