Always Be Covering: But First Some More Thoughts On the Redskins
Yesterday Drew wrote a particularly satisfying rant on the topic of Dan Snyder’s inability to run a football team. While I didn’t agree with all of Drew’s points, most of his criticisms hit home for me and many other distressed Washingtonians. Of course not every Redskins fan agreed with Drew’s contentions.
Chris Chase is a writer for Yahoo! Sports who also maintains his own blog, The Player Hater’s Ball. It was there that Chase wrote his response to Drew’s rant. The post includes several questionable defenses of his personnel and front office decisions. So questionable that I felt some FJM style was warranted.
Note: In his defense, Chase (who is a perfectly nice person) tells me he wrote this post in the middle of the night after a few drinks, although he does stand by his assertion that Snyder is not as bad as owners like Bill Bidwell.
Briefly, the post says that the Redskins are the most hopeless franchise in the world because Dan Snyder is incompetant and shows a complete lack of self-awarness. I’ll agree with the first part and vigorously contend with the second. I think Snyder knows exactly what people think of him…
Knowing that people hate you and being self-aware are not the same thing.
…which is why he doesn’t do many interviews, hates the Washington Post and travels with multiple bodyguards to games.
None of which indicates that he’s the least bit self-aware. If he was self-aware he’d be more interested in why the team’s fans hate him so much, and possibly even make an attempt to rectify his behavior.
The analogy of Snyder to an out-of-touch fantasy owner was solid, and parts of the piece were spot-on and amusing, but there’s one huge thing missing from the rant: Most of Snyder’s delusion is fed by the very fans and media who are supposedly telling him he sucks.
There’s no “supposedly” about it, fans and the media waste few opportunities to express just how much he sucks. It’s pretty much our favorite thing to talk about at this point.
Every March most people affirm Snyder’s moves by getting excited about the team because of the free agent signings or draft pick the Skins get.
Of course we get excited about the roster, we’re fucking Redskins fans! That means we’re constantly deluding ourselves into believing that the team is one move away from overcoming our owner’s incompetence.
Haynesworth: People loved.
Pretty much every conversation about the Haynesworth signing went exactly like this…
“It sure is great that the team signed one of the best players in the league, but man, that’s a SHITLOAD of money to give a guy who misses a handful of games every damn year. He’s bound to get complacent, right?”
Pure, unadulterated love.
Drafting Laron Landry: people loved.
True.
Dabbling with Mark Sanchez: You’re telling me the fools who have been booing all season wouldn’t rather have Manchez at the helm?
They would, but that’s not to say Snyder and Cerrato weren’t criticized heavily by fans and the media (Snyder’s own radio station included) for openly gushing over Sanchez, because they were.
Picking “can’t miss” receivers in the second round: some people loved.
Really? Name one. Who was the one asshole who thought it would be a great idea to draft THREE receivers (two wide receivers and a pass-catching tight end) in the second round of the ‘08 draft. Because from what I remember people were screaming “DRAFT LINEMEN” from the fucking rooftops.
Hell, most liked the Adam Archuleta signing.
I think “liked” is too strong a word. How about, “most people didn’t want to kill themselves immediately after hearing that the Redskins let Gregg Williams bring in a safety who couldn’t cover anybody because they thought he’d at least be serviceable against the run.” Yeah, that’s probably more accurate.
EVERYONE loved Snyder getting Deion and Bruce Smith and Marc Carrier and Jeff George.
The ‘Skins were called “offseason champs”.
Sarcastically.
Is that a badge of honor?
No, it’s sarcasm.
No, but it’s a sign the team is a lot less hopeless than this piece suggests. It’s a sign that, at some points, people think the Redskins are doing OK.
No, it’s a sign that people were gently mocking the NFL’s brash young owner who foolishly thought he could use free agency as a shortcut to building a Super Bowl contender. You know, the kind of thing he continued to do for the next decade.
And why has Snyder learned nothing from his experiences?
Because he lacks self awareness?
He no longer brings in massive free agent hauls.
He gave Albert Haynesworth the most guaranteed money in NFL history.
He likes stability in his front office.
He likes keeping under-qualified yes men on hand to carry out bidding.
He didn’t go for the splashy hire.
Because they rejected his advances. Instead he went with the guy he’d just hired to serve as offensive coordinator. Weird how highly sought after coaches wouldn’t want to work for an ego-maniacal owner who already hired offensive and defensive coordinators.
But at least they showed signs of growth.
Towards what?
This isn’t a defense of Snyder…
Except when it is.
…(and forget about Cerrato, I’m beginning to think he has no actual power and is just a puppet)…
Beginning to think? BEGINNING?!
/rubs temples
Update: Chase responds to my selective quoting.
With no further adieu, on to the picks!
Minnesota -10 at St. Louis
The Rams aren’t bad, they’re fucking abysmal. Minnesota is due to deliver an efficient ass kicking.
Kansas City +9 vs. Dallas
The Cowboys are not a good football team. The only reason they’ve covered once in their last three is because Jake Delhomme is retarded.
Atlanta +3 at San Francisco
Those are three crucial points in such a close match-up.
Indianapolis -4 at Tennessee
Wait, what? Tennessee is crap. They aren’t going to suddenly bounce back to form because they’re playing at home on national television against a division rival. They’re going to get fucked in the ass by a man with a fetus for a head.
Enjoy the games, and if you see Dan Snyder be sure to tell him that he sucks.
Image via Flickr
Tags: Always Be Covering, Because I'm a dick, dan snyder, FJM style, Homerism, Unsilent Majority, Washington Redskins
October 9th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
I went to a Redskins game like five years ago and sat in front of the owner’s box. Right after the Skins scored an important touchdown (it was against the Giants) Sydner went crazy, high fiving everyone in his box etc… I tried taking a quick photo on my cell phone. He really wasn’t doing anything embarrassing just looking pumped up. But when he noticed I was trying to take a photo he threw his hands up over his face and hid himself so that I couldn’t take a picture.
Seriously dude? You’re that protective of your “image” you won’t let a 16-year old take a quick photo that will probably come out in shitty quality anyway? What a jackass
October 9th, 2009 at 1:25 pm
I still don’t get why the O’s were included in the same company as the Raiders and Clippers in Drew’s rant. Great young players like Markakis, Jones, Reimold, Tillman, Matusz, Bergeson, Arrieta, and Wieters would disagree. They are going to start suprising people next year.
October 9th, 2009 at 1:33 pm
I believe it is the Colts that are favored by 4 points. Still, the line seems way too low considering it’s an 0-4 team up against what may be the best team in the NFL right now.
October 9th, 2009 at 1:35 pm
I still don’t get why the O’s were included in the same company as the Raiders and Clippers in Drew’s rant.
It could be the 12 straight losing seasons.
October 9th, 2009 at 1:36 pm
Stu- that was a typo
October 9th, 2009 at 1:40 pm
where did you find IND +4? they’re -3.5 on wsex (which was still good enough for me to take)
October 9th, 2009 at 1:41 pm
Still, the line seems way too low considering it’s an 0-4 team up against what may be the best team in the NFL right now.
I forgot to add “/Simmons’d”
October 9th, 2009 at 1:48 pm
It could be the 12 straight losing seasons.
Nah, I’m thinking it’s the finishing 39 games out of first place.
October 9th, 2009 at 1:49 pm
I don’t know why, and I can’t see how this will happen, but that Minnesota game just seems like a gambling bloodbath waiting to happen. There’s no possible way that Minnesota doesn’t cover, right, but something is spooky. Maybe Favre throws a couple pick 6’s or something. It’s that no-brainer lock that ends up destroying parlays throughout the world.
October 9th, 2009 at 1:53 pm
That Indianapolis line looks like a huge trap to me. You think the oddsmakers didn’t know where the money was going to end up when they set that line?
October 9th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
this is all completely absurd
success and failure can only be viewed > RETROSPECTIVELY <
Snyder could sit on his 10k couch, scratch his ass and eat cheetos while Zorn listens to "Coaching for Dummies" while on the sideline and they could win a championship
in which case retrospectively he would be a success. OR…
he could make all the moves the fans think he should make and be the owner of a team with a wonderfully offensive mascot that's mediocre
in which case he'd be a failure
so far all the arm-chair analysts and pontificators
sit back, shut up, choke a woman or uppercut her (depending on your sensibilities and skillsets) and enjoy some mediocre football!!
October 9th, 2009 at 2:00 pm
Yes I know the Orioles finished the season with a bad record and have 12 straight losing seasons but the quote was “I’m talking about franchises that have no hope of turning things around because the man who owns the team refuses to relinquish his cold death grip upon it”.
With a great young core and a good GM who Angelos trusts and yields to, there is plenty of hope for turning things around.
October 9th, 2009 at 2:02 pm
one
October 9th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
Minny StL is a trap game… big Monday night win for Minn… short week… BrittFar basking in his own glory… Viqueen fans feeling the need to come back down to earth… how about a nice crash against the worst team in the NFL?
/ puts down the bong.
//picks up some LSD
October 9th, 2009 at 2:10 pm
Re the Os: Did Angelos die? Ok then. Back to 5th place with you then.
October 9th, 2009 at 2:18 pm
Shut up about the Orioles, no one cares
October 9th, 2009 at 2:21 pm
success and failure can only be viewed > RETROSPECTIVELY <
looking RETROSPECTIVELY, Dan Snyder’s tenure as the Skins owner has sucked.
Snyder could sit on his 10k couch, scratch his ass and eat cheetos
If he actually did this the team might improve. The point of Drew’s rant was that Snyder is a meddling, overbearing owner who won’t just hire some smart football people and let them run the team.
while Zorn listens to “Coaching for Dummies” while on the sideline
You mean he doesn’t do that now!?!?
and they could win a championship
Maybe if they moved to the UFL and won whatever they call their title.
he could make all the moves the fans think he should make and be the owner of a team with a wonderfully offensive mascot that’s mediocre
He already is. At best.
October 9th, 2009 at 2:24 pm
Damn. Italics fail. FJM style is hard.
October 9th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
Well being a dick aint so bad. See theres three kinds of people in this world… dicks pussies, and assholes. Pussies just want everyone to get along and dicks just wanna fuck all the time. Then you got ur assholes chuck, and assholes just wanna shit all over everything. Pussies dont like dicks, because, pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes chuck. If they didnt you know what you get? You get ur dick and ur pussy all covered in shit!
October 9th, 2009 at 2:31 pm
@ Dick Bigdickinson: That was deep
October 9th, 2009 at 2:43 pm
I still don’t get why the O’s were included in the same company as the Raiders and Clippers in Drew’s rant. Great young players like Markakis, Jones, Reimold, Tillman, Matusz, Bergeson, Arrieta, and Wieters would disagree. They are going to start suprising people next year.
Two words. Peter. Angelos(e). Keep drinkin that orange kool-aid though. They need you and the other 400 people who go to O’s games.
I really feel for the people who are O’s/Redskins fans. Dealing with the worst owner in not 1, but 2 sports. Ouch.
Or I don’t feel bad for them at all. Time to pick a city and convert to the Ravens, assholes. Or to the Nats. Damn, the Chesapeake Bay region is baseball hell.
October 9th, 2009 at 3:05 pm
Yes and yes. The gesture is appreciated.
October 9th, 2009 at 3:16 pm
Why is everyone talking about baseball?
/punchfucks stripper
October 9th, 2009 at 3:26 pm
hey i know im opening myself up on this to sound retarded, but i dont gamble since i am 27 with three kids under 4. no dispensable income. when you pick the chiefs (who i am both ashamed and proud to be a fan of) at +9, you still think they going to lose right? just by less than 9 points?
October 9th, 2009 at 3:29 pm
Correct, Quentin
October 9th, 2009 at 3:33 pm
@ UM
You’re not the dick. Dan Snyder is the dick.
October 9th, 2009 at 3:41 pm
How Redskin fans haven’t overturned Snyders limo, beaten him close to death, and lynched him from a light pole in the parking lot of Fedex, is beyond me. Really. Next thing will be a private jail in the bowels of the stadium, and “Private Police” arresting and torturing fans for their dissent. Fuck that asshole and his shitty team.
/knows the pain
//life long Patriots fan
October 9th, 2009 at 3:47 pm
Redskins fans waiting for a Super Bowl win is like Estragon waiting for Godot.
//English Major’ed
October 9th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
Chase’s updated defense of the defense made absolutely no sense. He claimed Maj took him out of context for omitting a sentence. All fine until you read it with the sentence in there. It reads no differently whatsoever.
October 9th, 2009 at 3:58 pm
Fuck baseball.
October 9th, 2009 at 4:12 pm
Dear Mr. Snyder,
You are doing a wonderful job. I don’t think you do enough in the off-season. You leave so many free agents on the table that other teams can grab. Building your team thru the draft is over-rated. You have to pay them a lot of money and what have they done in the NFL? Nothing. At least free-agents are proven commodities. And as for experienced coaches, who needs them, if they were any good, they’d still have a job. Find fresh blood for coaches who don’t have the bad traits yet.
Keep doing what you’re doing. Never leave the NFC East. And thanks for the 2 wins a year.
Sincerely and with much love,
Giants Fans
October 9th, 2009 at 4:57 pm
“I still don’t get why the O’s were included in the same company as the Raiders and Clippers in Drew’s rant. Great young players like Markakis, Jones, Reimold, Tillman, Matusz, Bergeson, Arrieta, and Wieters would disagree. They are going to start suprising people next year.”
Double facepalm.
October 9th, 2009 at 5:05 pm
Marcus Camby, Chris Kaman, Baron Davis and the rest of the Clippers are going to start surprising people this year.
October 9th, 2009 at 5:34 pm
I did not realize how much I love KSK until today…
Thank you and have a nice weekend.
PS FUCK DAN SNYDER
October 9th, 2009 at 6:23 pm
I understand the hatred for Snyder from Redskin fans. No day is complete without me begging the fates to kill Jerry Jones. Stupid cocksucker thinks he’s a GM. And a coach. And he interviewed Wade Phillips and decided that Wade was his coach. Stupid fuck.
KILL! KILL! KILL!
October 9th, 2009 at 6:53 pm
It’s funny how much Snyder is responsible for so many screwups in regards to the Redskins, and yet the Redskin Cheerleaders are always of Super Bowl quality.
Maybe Snyder isn’t incompetent. Maybe he’s just in the wrong line of work. Get him the hell away from the Redskins and have him buy the Playboy Mansion when Hef dies.
October 9th, 2009 at 7:07 pm
@ Big Black Richard – When it comes to the cheerleaders, that’s Little Danny’s call.
Like they say, following your penis is always the right move, he’d never steer you wrong. Except when he’s drunk, it’s 2am and that fat chick across the bar looks like a cross between Angelina and Beyonce. But other than that, he’s never wrong.
October 9th, 2009 at 8:41 pm
I hope I live long enough to see FedEx Field torn to pieces by wrecking balls.
That is all.
October 10th, 2009 at 11:20 am
I really feel for the people who are O’s/Redskins fans. Dealing with the worst owner in not 1, but 2 sports. Ouch.
Or I don’t feel bad for them at all. Time to pick a city and convert to the Ravens, assholes.
See, this is what gets me when Ravens fans go on frequent rants about how their fanbase is a collective of bandwagon-free superloyal Bawlmer folk who stood by and never liked another team in the interregnum between the Colts and Ravens. I went to high school four miles from the D.C. border in Maryland and I can’t tell you how many people I’ve talked to recently who I knew then to be Redskins fans who suddenly are sporting purple camo and talking up Joe Flacco.
October 11th, 2009 at 1:13 am
To me, all Ravens fans are transplant fans. They never expected a new franchise, and they were lucky that Art Modell hated Browns fans, and the franchise in general. They really should’ve never left Cleveland.
October 13th, 2009 at 12:28 am
All this talk about the most inept franchise – EVER – has to stop.
/signed
Pittsburgh 1992-Preset
October 13th, 2009 at 1:51 am
All this talk about the most inept franchise – EVER – has to stop.
/signed
Pittsburgh 1992-Preset
Defending champs in NHL and NFL?
October 13th, 2009 at 9:21 pm
Cowboys fans have it worse: At least the ‘Skins are offensive and hopless for the right reasons. If you look back at Jerrah’s tenure, he’s found a way to get better at one part of ownership while totally punchfucking the pooch in others. This season we get the abomination called Cowboys Stadium, except the cage dancers can’t take ones and the largest TV ever is so low that it’s actually part of the game.
Oh, and the addition by subtraction of T.O. is mitigated by the grim realization that Miles Austin could have been “discovered” two seasons ago (which would have helped Crayton realize that his job is to both be open AND catch the ball… not a choice). Yes, I’m still angry about the play against the Giants in the playoffs. Y’know, one of the playoff games the Cowboys haven’t won since the 90s
The worst part is that Jerrah’s choices in Yes-Men, errrrr… coaches might be even worse than Snyder’s. Zorn, while incompetent, and possibly suffering from PTSD (See: QB: Seattle) is at least trying to coach something. Watching the mental clusterfuckery that goes on with the Cowboys makes it a sure bet that the ‘Skins will be getting at least two division wins this year.
/not as bitter as I sound…
//yes, I am