The 2009 Dolphins Are The Team of Respect!
Peezy don’t pay no mind. Peezy spends he offseason handling he business. Raising up the Junior Peezys to pillars of the community and respect they elders. That’s what Corporate Peezy do now that he made full transition from Gully Peezy. Gully Peezy a thing of the past. Outmoded business model and shit.
Like all corporations, we here at Corporate Peezy, LLC like to set timetables and spreadsheets, ’cause that’s what the game spreads go on. Last year, we made gains. This year, we lookin’ for more gains.
Gains is to the Peezy business model like yo mouf is to fixin’. Inevitably, they be coming together like brand synergy ‘n’ shit.
This the way it go: Peezy shows up to offsite training seminar, he listen to the new plays, then he set out on making the league the Huckleberry. We made a lot teams into Huckleberries last year, but this year we finish the job of full marketplace Hucklebefication. We gotta match our Hucklebefication Yields for Physical Year 2009.
So Corporate Peezy, LLC getting itself ready for its IPO: Initial Peezy Offering.
Before that can happen, he gotsta check where he portfolio be trading at, see where the market forecast be forecastin’.
THAT’S UNFAIR
DEVALUING OF STOCK!
Don’t when it got to be in the offseason that disrespect came to be standard business practice, but Peezy crushing this trend before it has sweeping effects on he patience.
First, I send a message to stockholders:
“Hey stockholders, we gonna get that ass. It be a return on your ass investment.”
Second, Peezy do a rookie haze on Pat White.
“Hey Pat White, wear this funny sailor hat and dance around for Peezy.”
Yeah, yeah, swab the deck! Swab that shit!
THAT’S HILARITY!
See, Peezy show true leadership skills in fording Corporate Peezy, LLC through a tough corporate climate. That way, when we take on other emerging venture THEM ATLANTA FAWLKINS on Sunday, you gonna see who the big riser is in bidness.
Trade secret – IT’S US, BITCH!
CORPORATE PEEZY, LLC, BIG RISER IN BIDNESS! WE RUN THIS SHIT!
Tags: corporate peezy, joey porter, peezy, xmas ape
September 8th, 2009 at 1:24 pm
I think Shawne Merriman described himself as a “BIG RISER” to Tila Tequila too. And she laughed…which we all know what that is…
September 8th, 2009 at 1:31 pm
for some reason Pat White reminds me of Carlton from Fresh Prince. If he had the mustache I think more people would see it too.
September 8th, 2009 at 1:32 pm
or for another 90s black family sitcom matchup, if he had big goofy glasses he could be Urkle for halloween
September 8th, 2009 at 1:34 pm
Pat White shall now and forever be known as “Shore Leave.”
September 8th, 2009 at 1:44 pm
All due respect, I’m sticking with Wu-Tang Financial.
Diversify your bonds, [n-words].
September 8th, 2009 at 1:49 pm
Gonna sell short on Corporate Peezy.
FIX YO PORTFOLIO!
September 8th, 2009 at 1:53 pm
Corporate Peezy probably could run the US budget better than the current administration.
September 8th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
I demand that after every Dolphins game, the first person to do a press conference is Joey Porter. Coach Sparano doesn’t have to talk at all.
September 8th, 2009 at 2:17 pm
@Andy, you saddened by the lack of a PoFlaWa in the King post or something?
September 8th, 2009 at 2:34 pm
Trade secret – IT’S US, BITCH!
thanks for the tip peezy.
/Wu-Tang Financial – PROTECT YO GODDAN NECK NICCA!
September 8th, 2009 at 2:41 pm
(door flies open) Enter Pat White in a sailor hat.
September 8th, 2009 at 3:14 pm
Physical Year 2009? Someone wasn’t a finance/accounting major.
September 8th, 2009 at 3:25 pm
Gains is to the Peezy business model like yo mouf is to fixin’.
That is absolutely brilliant. So funny and so deep at the same time.
September 8th, 2009 at 3:47 pm
@ Concrete Cyanide: No, someone isn’t a Peezy Major
September 8th, 2009 at 3:50 pm
Concrete Cyanide: Or someone typed that intentionally as a joke.
September 8th, 2009 at 4:15 pm
@ twerp/James Harrison
Indeed, Peezy migh have to FIX MY SUBTLE HUMOR DETECTION!
September 8th, 2009 at 4:51 pm
FIX YO TPS REPORTS!
/so, so hungover
September 8th, 2009 at 5:36 pm
@ Ape – I thought your Manifesto is the bible of fandom? Why is Rick Reilly stealing your schtick? From his latest post: “In fact, there are only 10 Officially Sanctioned Reasons You Can Abandon Your Lifelong Team for Another. There are these and only these. ”
Rick Reilly is a thieving hack! NO ONE DENIES THIS!
September 8th, 2009 at 5:51 pm
@LaFavre’s Next Interception- goddammit, that’s 5 minutes of my life I’m not getting back. The only way that column would be of value is if I wiped my ass with my laptop.
September 8th, 2009 at 6:48 pm
@garydog: before i had read far enough down to realize that it was pat white, and before i scrolled far enough down to see the dolphins jersey, out of the bottom of my eye i thought a tasteless steve mcnair joke was coming… anyone else see the resemblance? a thinner faced mcnair, but still…
and no, they don’t all look alike to me.
September 8th, 2009 at 6:55 pm
Corporate Peezy, LLC. Where was this when I needed a fantasy football team name? FIX YO’ TIMING.
September 8th, 2009 at 7:21 pm
I fully endorse and respect Corporate Peezy. *hopes Peezy doesn’t stick his horse eating dogs on him*
September 8th, 2009 at 7:46 pm
Gloria Estefan and Jimmy Buffet are board members of Corporate Peezy LLC.
.
September 8th, 2009 at 10:40 pm
How dare KSK drop a gem like “Initial Peezy Offering” after I’ve already locked in the name of my fantasy team?
September 9th, 2009 at 12:35 am
THAT’S UNFAIR DEVALUING OF STOCK!
I lol’ed
September 9th, 2009 at 9:11 am
What no mention of the Total Cost of Ho’wnership? The balloon payments on dat ass show a flattening of my yield curve.
FIX YO BAILOUT
September 9th, 2009 at 9:55 am
Hucklebefication is what drives America’s most successful investors. EAD Waterhouse.
September 9th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
Holy Shit Ape…you’re already in mid-season form.
Well met sir.
September 9th, 2009 at 5:33 pm
that prediction was posted on August 8th, you couldn’t have giving me fantasy football names such as “Corporate Peezy, LLC”, “Initial Peezy Offering”, “Hucklebefication”, or even “Return on Ass Investment” back then?
THATS DISRESPECT
September 9th, 2009 at 7:01 pm
Coach Hawkins say he got no time to spend all week on Rams, THAT’S DISRESPECT! Peezycorp rush yo field, fix yo tofu eatin’ mouf!!!!!