NICE THROW, C—KSUCKER
YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT. YOU SPOTLIGHT-HOGGING, WRINKLED OLD HOGCOCK. I HOPE YOU CHOKE ON FISH HOOKS, YOU FUCKING PRICK. NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO, I’LL ALWAYS HATE YOUR FACE.
(Seriously, though. Nice throw.)
YOU GO TO HELL. YOU GO TO HELL AND YOU GET FLAYED TO ENDLESS ANGUISH BY SATAN’S THREE-TINED COCK.
(However, I have to say, it’s really nice to have a QB who can run the two-minute drill effectively. It’s been fucking ages since the Vikings have run a decent two-minute drill. That’s a huge plus.)
I’M GONNA SNEAK RAT POISON INTO YOUR WATER BOTTLE. THEN I’M GONNA HIDE IN THE LOCKER ROOM TOWEL BIN AND PEEK OUT OF IT AND WATCH WHILE YOUR MOUTH FOAMS UP AND YOU FALL TO THE FLOOR IN CONVULSIONS, WITH MEDICAL STAFF UNABLE TO HELP BECAUSE THEY DON’T KNOW WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU. THIS IS HOW YOUR LIFE WILL END. YOU ARE STILL THE ENEMY, AND I KNOW YOU ARE ONLY HANGING AROUND TO FUCK US OVER. YOU CAN’T FOOL ME, COCKWEED!
(But for real, that was a great move to elude Justin Smith. I thought you were dead meat. Rosencopter would have fumbled the ball, picked it up, and the re-fumbled it.)
AND NOW THE PACKERS ARE COMING?! OH, CHRIST. GET READY FOR FUCKING FAVREY FAVRE FAVRE WEEK. LIKE TIM GODDAMN RYAN DIDN’T SUCK YOUR DICK ENOUGH DURING THE TELECAST, YOU REDNECK PRICK.
(But man, it’s nice to know the Vikes can pull a game out when Purple Jesus is held in check. That’s what was missing from this team. With the way this defense is playing, I don’t think it’s a stretch to say this really is one of the three best teams in the NFC. I think. Maybe.)
OR MAYBE YOU’LL JUST COLLAPSE AND EAT SHIT! AND WHERE’S THE LOVE FOR GREG LEWIS? ALL HE DID WAS DEFY THE LAWS OF FUCKING PHYSICS TO MAKE THAT CATCH. BUT NOOOOO, ALL I HEAR IS FAVRE THREW THIS AND FAVRE THREW THAT AND LOOK AT THE JOY HE BRINGS TO THE CHILDREN OF THE WORLD?! GUHHHH. FUCK YOU. I SO HATE ROOTING FOR YOU, YOU LITTLE SHIT WEASEL. I HOPE YOU GET HIT BY A CEMENT MIXER FULL OF LEPROSY.
(Good job. I’m relatively pleased with your performance yesterday.)
DICK.
Tags: Big Daddy Drew, brain torn apart, gratuitous profanity, Homerism
![[badge]](http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/themes/default/images/100121_FOXmsnBadge_200x50.gif)
September 28th, 2009 at 9:26 am
Why hate on him, Drew? After all, he’s just a kid out there having a good time…
/blows brains out with shotgun lamp
September 28th, 2009 at 9:27 am
As a fan of the 2008 Jets…don’t do it Drew.
He’s only going to throat cock the final 5 weeks of the season and you’re hate will rise to new levels that could not previously fathom.
Get out while you still can.
September 28th, 2009 at 9:28 am
Ehh…Your, be fathomed, etc. It’s early.
September 28th, 2009 at 9:42 am
Drew loves when he launches the ball into triple coverage and it actually works.
Don’t worry, that’ll happen for the first 8 weeks. Just wait until it matters and that ball gets picked off. Twice. On the same throw.
September 28th, 2009 at 9:43 am
The Lions won? Ah ha ha ha/ tap on shoulder my grandma punches me in the mouth, followed by curb stomp!
/effin hate grandma!
…oh the joke, grammy born in DC.
September 28th, 2009 at 9:45 am
Just wait until your team is 8 – 3 or so BDD, then his arm will fall off, he’ll blow, and you’ll hate him twice as hard as when he wasn’t on your team.
/angry jets fan
September 28th, 2009 at 9:47 am
Honestly, I can’t believe abortion survivor Greg Lewis was the one to catch that ball. For that reason alone, the Niners secondary should commit ritual hari-kari.
September 28th, 2009 at 10:00 am
Shit, the 49ers should kill themselves for allowing that pin-thighed stick-figure off the line in the first place.
September 28th, 2009 at 10:01 am
Seriously fuck that throw. We picked the Land Baron off two seperate times when he tried to do that shit earlier in the game, and Lewis barely caught that fucking thing anyway. God damn it.
September 28th, 2009 at 10:06 am
PK’s Monday Morning QB column should be a real treat this morning.
September 28th, 2009 at 10:07 am
It will be really fun watching BrittFar lead the Vikes to an 0-1 record when it counts.
He’s just like a kid out there; a kid that gets physically worn down and starts playing like crap in December.
September 28th, 2009 at 10:09 am
Seriously, don’t get too excited about Farve. He’ll be back to his old form (throwing picks) by the middle of November. Make sure you list him on your injury report.
September 28th, 2009 at 10:09 am
I would take this moment to express what an amazing fucking catch that was by Greg Lewis, and that if I had to see the 49ers lose at least it was on a miracle play, but after hearing the announcers suck Favre’s cock for 10 minutes after the play without even mentioning Lewis and actually hearing the phrase “He just plays like a kid out there” from Tim Fucking Ryan, I hung myself. At least I have unadulterated hate in my heart – I can only imagine Drew’s dilemma.
September 28th, 2009 at 10:19 am
Have them sign Limas Sweed. No more catches in the endzone no matter how well thrown the pass. Problem solved.
September 28th, 2009 at 10:20 am
The worst part of that finale is the inevitable cock – gobbling column by King; oh, the humanity!
September 28th, 2009 at 10:24 am
Let me get this straight, the vikings are one of the three best teams in the NFC when they a) almost lose at home to an nfc west team 2) whom lost its best player on the first play of the game iii) and have a secondary that makes Shaun Hill look like Drew Brees in that second half. At least we get to see this replay for every vikes game from here on out.
September 28th, 2009 at 10:25 am
@ Ape
Ruh roh. Tarr leceivel farr out of favol with numbel one Steerel fan?
September 28th, 2009 at 10:26 am
“Me, Myself, and Britrene”
Big Daddy Drew’s advanced delusionary schizophrenia with involuntary narcissistic rage. Played by both Hank Evans and Charlie Baileygates.
(San Francisco fans, other the other hand, are clear and single-minded in their cumslinger HATRED. The 49ers have one more thing to play for now this season – the Vikings and Favre’s BLOOD in the playoffs. Think Marsellus Wallace.)
“Naw man. I’m pretty fuckin’ far from okay … What now? Let me tell you what now. I’ma call a coupla hard, pipe-hittin’ niggers, who’ll go to work on the homes here with a pair of pliers and a blow torch. You hear me talkin’, hillbilly boy? I ain’t through with you by a damn sight. I’ma get medieval on your ass.”
September 28th, 2009 at 10:29 am
“Why does it say welcome to you are doom? What does that even mean? And why for God’s sake is doom in quotes? Is it some sort of ironic doom? Is the wink implied?”
September 28th, 2009 at 10:31 am
John Clayton believes that “maybe it’s time for Vikings ownership to buy Favre a ceremonial tractor for his farm because he’s driving them to the playoffs with his will to win and savvy.”
KILL ME NOW.
September 28th, 2009 at 10:33 am
/Chris_Berman_Mode: ON
“THIS IS WHY YOU SIGN BRETT FAVRE ! THIS IS WHY YOU BRING BRETT FAVRE BACK “!
/Chris_Berman_Mode: OFF
It’s pretty easy to look good throwing the ball when opposing defense’s keep 8 in the box because of Purple Jesus. (A whopping * 9 * fantasy points yesterday)
September 28th, 2009 at 10:34 am
“Just before we left the huddle,” Lewis said, “Brett told us, ‘Stay alive.’
YOU CANT FUCK WITH LAND BARON-LIKE QUOTES SUCH AS THAT! THATS HALL OF FAME MATERIAL!
September 28th, 2009 at 10:41 am
For the rest of this week, the part of BDD will be played by Smeagol/ Gollum.
September 28th, 2009 at 10:44 am
Because of Favre, Greg Lewis did something functional on a football field. That man is magic, I tell you.
Seriously, yesterday might have been the best Sunday ever. The Lions beat the Snyders of all teams, the vaunted Steelers D kissed the baby, and Favre just gave Vikings fans a higher peak from which to inevitably fall on their faces.
September 28th, 2009 at 10:48 am
Man, that’s some good hate.
/lights cigarette
September 28th, 2009 at 10:52 am
I predict if the Favre keeps winning Drew will soon be wearing nothing but Wranglers.
September 28th, 2009 at 10:53 am
Point.
Counterpoint.
I like the new format…
September 28th, 2009 at 10:58 am
Lost in all the Favre bullshit (along with not giving Greg Lewis any credit) – Mike Singletary’s asshole clenching shut on the Niners last drive with the ball before Favre’s TD. Three fucking dive plays in a row while Minnesota still had all its timeouts? Running your backup RB on a crucial long third down when your QB had actually shown semblances of competence in the second half? FUCK YOU MIKE SINGLETARY, YOU TROU-DROPPING FUCK. I don’t want to hear another fuckface Niners fan compare Singletary to Rex Ryan again and say they have “their own Rex Ryan.” No, you do not. You have a wack-job who moons his team to inspire them and wears a fucking Dracula-slayer wooden cross on the sidelines and plays to not lose the game rather than playing to win. I am not looking forward to any of the NFL media coverage this week after that play and with Favre playing Green Bay next week…
/end rant
//Giants fan, so don’t really give a shit about any of these teams
September 28th, 2009 at 11:01 am
the vaunted Steelers D kissed the baby
Fine, the Steelers blew the lead and lost, but the defense gave up the huge total of 16 points altogether. It’s on the offense for not putting Cincy away when they had the chance. Also Ocho didn’t score, so he didn’t make anyone kiss anything.
/bugs trainer about when Polamalu comes back
September 28th, 2009 at 11:02 am
Ugh, and then I watched the first half-hour of “The Blitz” last night cuz I missed the early games/I’m fucking stupid…and they rolled that clip of idiot throwing the pass then running 40 yards to block for the receiver who just caught idiot’s pass…They said he was just a kid having fun out there like 10 times in 30 seconds…
/drives off road into a quarry
September 28th, 2009 at 11:07 am
@ Ape: Your team bud, blame whoever you like. But that last drive was everything I’ve come to not expect about that defense. And as much as I can’t stand it when announcers and the like fellate the guy ad nauseum, it’s ridiculous how much better the rest of them look when Polamalu is out there. It can’t be that Cedric Benson is good or even competent, that I just can’t accept.
September 28th, 2009 at 11:12 am
@85
I’m sure you enjoyed it. But yes, Polamalu is kind of the centerpiece to the defensive scheme. It’s not so much that he’s exponentially better than everyone else they have on the field, but so many of Dick LeBeau’s packages are predicated on Troy wrecking havoc. Without him, it’s considerably more vanilla.
September 28th, 2009 at 11:13 am
Favre tried to throw some picks on the plays leading up to that final TD.
September 28th, 2009 at 11:15 am
Tommy Kramer and Ahmad Rashad are spinning in their graves right now.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22O8IowjQSg
What’s that?
September 28th, 2009 at 11:24 am
thank you drew for perfectly expressing my feelings. also it felt good watching this game while wearing my fuck you brett favre t-shirt.
September 28th, 2009 at 11:24 am
@ Ape: You’re right about the defense being vanilla without Troy. Teams have been doubling Harrison and Woodley whenever they want without Polamalu flying in from time to time. Would anyone have believed that they’d have one sack between them through three games?
On the other hand, and being me I hate admitting this, but that Wallace kid is badass.
September 28th, 2009 at 11:28 am
LOL at “A CEMENT MIXER FULL OF LEPROSY.”
That’s serious hate. I’m already sick of Favre in that commercial that’s running nearly nonstop now. Proving that recall does not = sales, I can’t remember what the product is, just that Favre is in the ad. So, money well spent.
September 28th, 2009 at 11:30 am
I’m a little confused. Lewis has to leap into the air right along the back line of the endzone and barely managed to pull the ball in and get both feet down before landing out of bounds. How exactly is that a great throw?
This was classic Brett throwing it up, and without being bailed out by Lewis, that is an overthrown and incomplete ball.
Nice catch by Lewis, also nice job by Brett marching them down the field, but why credit Brett for that pass?
September 28th, 2009 at 11:31 am
@ BigLeagueJew – Sounds better in my head when you picture Kevin Nealon reading it….
Oh yeah – Fuck Favre. Almost forgot….
September 28th, 2009 at 11:34 am
@miamidiesel – Go fuck yourself. If Justin Smith’s arms are 2 inches longer, or if Favre’s throw is even 3 inches more to the right, or if Greg Lewis doesn’t miraculously become Lynn Swann for one play, or if Lewis’ right leg doesn’t get pinned in bounds by a 49ers defender, that pass is incomplete and the 49ers win the game. And then you don’t get to come to KSK and make yourself sound like a fucking moron.
September 28th, 2009 at 11:38 am
Stop watching the Blitz people. The NFL Network postgame show with Eisen and Deion and Scissors is WAYYY better.
September 28th, 2009 at 11:50 am
…so many of Dick LeBeau’s packages are predicated on Troy wrecking havoc. Without him, it’s considerably more vanilla.
Anyone who thinks that Polamalu is overrated should be forced to watch tape of the Steelers defense both with and without him.
September 28th, 2009 at 12:09 pm
The Pack secondary loves the fact that Brent feels invincible.
September 28th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
@ miamidiesel – Yes, please go get fucked.
First of all, yes, the playcalling could have been better, Singletary will have a little talk about that with the OC. Second of all, no Niner fan is saying that we have our “own Rex Ryan” – that would be bullshit. It’s the Jets fans that are trying to compare the two. There’s not really any comparison really, but you can try to compare them next time the two teams play. Our team would actually kind of like to play the fucks who are telling our first round draft pick that they’ll give him more if he doesn’t sign this season. Third, don’t fuck with that cross.
Go back to congratulating yourselves for the amazing feat of beating Tampa Bay.
September 28th, 2009 at 12:35 pm
lol.
“Good job. I’m relatively pleased with your performance yesterday.”
September 28th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
You think you have it rough? The Mexican booth refers to Favrebaro as “El General”. As in “Look at El General running 30 yards downfield to throw a crucial block on Patrick Willis… No one runs the two-minute drill like El General… El General is about the only QB in the league can pull a last-second throw like that, under pressure”. By the end of the fucking game I was ready to join a goddamn guerrilla group in order to wage war on that lucky inbred asshole…
He plays like a kid out there. The kind of kid you want to “accidentaly” run over by backing from your driveway a bit too fast…
/redecorated den by throwing plate-full of guacamole agains the wall with 0:02 left in the 4th Quarter.
//also, 3 Fantasy teams lost by a combined 6 points
///contemplates running own dick over cheese grater a few times to improve on present mood
September 28th, 2009 at 12:47 pm
@Johnny D – none of that shit would even have been possible if the Niners could have just picked up one first down. Shaun Hill was playing well and they didn’t even give him a shot. They got super-conservative, gave the ball back with too much time on the clock and lost the game (albeit on an unlikely play). Those are facts, dipshit.
@Persiflage – point noted on fucking with the cross. You may not have, but I have heard a few Niners fans (and ones who read the Rex Ryan posts here) talking about Singletary v. Rex Ryan. I generally like Singletary, but I hate that he got that conservative at the end, leading to the ensuing Favre-slobbing. Crabtree is an uber-douche, and I hope his NFL career goes the way of Maurice Clarrett’s for what he’s pulling with the Niners. I can celebrate the win over Tampa Bay at least as much as you can celebrate the Niners having wins over two NFC West teams.
September 28th, 2009 at 1:33 pm
What is this “NFL Network” I keep hearing about?
/fuck you Time Warner Cable
September 28th, 2009 at 1:44 pm
I have no issues. My hate of Favre is infinitely more powerful than whatever Vikings fandom I may be accumulating while living in the twin cities.
I’m shaking as I type this because I have to think about that fuck again. I may not even watch football until I know we’re at the point of the season in which Favre makes a mockery of his once-skillful game.
God I fucking hate that piece of shit.
September 28th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
I now kind of want the Vikings to win the Super Bowl, just to see what Big Daddy Drew’s reaction will be.
September 28th, 2009 at 2:03 pm
As a Vikings fan, I’ve nurtured a searing hatred for Brett Favre for 17 years. Now that the phoney douchebag is one of our own, I’ve got to put team first and root for him to succeed at QB. I’ve just learned what it’s like to have Brett Favre execute his late-game heroics and pull out a victory for my team. It felt great, but it also made me feel kind of dirty- like screwing your hot distant cousin. Not that I know anything about that.
September 28th, 2009 at 2:06 pm
I personally hated the throw, if only cause this year I find the 49′ers to be sweethearts and I love Mike Singletary. Why isn’t he a KSKharacter yet by the way…
I love the football play from a football standpoint. I just hate that Favre had to do it because we’ll never hear the end of how great this land baron is.
And just wait for PK…
September 28th, 2009 at 3:27 pm
This is exactly how I feel. Thanks for saying it.
September 28th, 2009 at 4:11 pm
Of course, let me add to the “He’ll fuck you in the end” warnings.
This is, after all, Brittfarr (who is known for his late season brain farts) + the Vikings (who are well known for finding a way to fuck it up when it matters most). For this not to end ass up like drunk virgin at a kegger is impossible.
September 28th, 2009 at 4:19 pm
And the land baron threw the block on Willis of all people. I was hoping Willis would turn around and piledrive grandpa into the ground. Instead, he helped him up.
Fuck you Willis.
September 28th, 2009 at 4:59 pm
Does anyone else find it funny that 85 yards is keeping Purple Jesus “in check”, but for basically any other back it’s a decent game?
September 28th, 2009 at 5:15 pm
Tarvaris Jackson would have monkey-pawed the ball into the hands of a 49ers defensive back at the ten yard line. Sage Rosenjew would have been sacked and/or fumbled and/or gotten injured. Brett Favre is the closest any of us will come to knowing G-d.
September 28th, 2009 at 5:27 pm
I was waiting to hear if Drew’s cawk asploded after the TD catch. I guess we’ll never know.
September 28th, 2009 at 5:42 pm
This Favre guy is winning me over. I think he’ll take them all the way. Last year was an abberation. He’s playing so much smarter this year. He’s still a playmaker. It’s like he and Chilly are made for each other. The Vikes are the best team in football. I don’t see Brett collapsing this year.
September 28th, 2009 at 6:33 pm
i find it interesting that this is the only post under the category ‘gratuitous profanity’
September 29th, 2009 at 9:42 am
“I’M GONNA SNEAK RAT POISON INTO YOUR WATER BOTTLE. ” A bit harsh isn’t it. Is this a death threat?
I think more mindless profanity is in order. It really adds to the article, or whatever this trash would be called. I haven’t witnessed your type of swearing skills since the 6th or 7th grade.
Go Brett, go Vikings!!! It will be extremely enjoyable watching the Vikes crush the Pack Monday night.
September 29th, 2009 at 9:50 am
“YOU LITTLE SHIT WEASEL. I HOPE YOU GET HIT BY A CEMENT MIXER FULL OF LEPROSY”???
There are mental health professionals located across the country that can help you with your type of condition.
10/5/09, Vikings 27 – Packers 17
11/1/09, Vikings 17 – Packers 9
September 29th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
SHIT WEASEL
yep, that’s about right
September 30th, 2009 at 4:35 am
Oh look, some people have found the site, but didn’t look around to get the gist of the place before deciding to comment.