And what a treat it was for those lovable losers. One question: is everyone at the Onion Sports Network on speed? Even Leitch had a tough time keeping up with that repartee. In other news, the remaining Lions fans are eager to get this season over with, thus putting them one year closer to locking up the rights to Barry Sanders Jr. Only seven more years of waiting, folks! Of course by then the entire city of Detroit will likely be buried under mountains of rubble. [OSN via Hot Clicks]
On Saturday Double J played host to Oklahoma and BYU at Cowboys Stadium, only to see some of the Windows operated scoreboards crap out before kickoff. Just to be careful Jerry is going to launch the video board in Safe Mode before the Cowboys first home game next Sunday. [Seattle PI via reader Kyle]
I can’t bring myself to write about the CBA and the possibility of an uncapped season or a potential lockout, mostly because I just don’t give a shit. All I want is for the union and the owners to FIX IT! I don’t really give a fuck about the issues or the specific hangups getting in the way of a new agreement, I just want it FIXED. However if you are looking for something to read on the topic I’ll direct you over to the resurrected Dave’s Football Blog.
Ben Roethlisberger’s accuser offered the quarterback a perfectly reasonable way out of this whole nasty rape business. All he has to do is donate some money to charity and apologize. See? Totally reasonable. Oh, and she also wants Ben to admit that he raped her. It’s a standard settlement, really. For some reason Ben’s lawyers rejected this cherry deal, calling it “insulting”, “bizarre”, and “mind-blowingly retarded*”. The accuser hasn’t yet responded to the rejection, however sources close to her diary suggest that the only way she’ll settle now is if Roethlisberger agrees to serve as best man at her batshit crazy wedding to a make-believe soldier while riding down the aisle naked atop a unicorn.
This entry was posted
on Wednesday, September 9th, 2009 at 1:25 pm and is filed under Uncategorized.
You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.
19 Responses to “KSK Kontent Klearinghouse: In Which The Lions Meet Their NFL Heroes”
It appears to have been overlooked around these parts that the Raiders decided to cut Gay Zorro at the end of camp. Are we going to get the obligatory Gay Zorro post, or what?
I’m wondering now if Count Al didn’t make that retarded Seymour trade anticipating an uncapped season. Not so much a smart move, but one last “fuck you” to the rest of the league (and his heirs.)
What if Count Al decides to go out in a blaze of glory and puts $200 million into the roster, ruining the pay curve across the board and signing as many All-Pros as he can swipe…and then pulling his own Harkonnen heartplug? Super Bowl or not, that would totally be an Al Davis move.
/Jerry Jones would do it too, for different reasons
//YEE-HAW
///he is fucking crazy
JaMarcus Russell, Robert Gallery, Heyward-Bey, etc. The Raiders are the one team in the league that is better off without a first-round pick. Better to have a Pro Bowl has-been than a young never-was.
September 9th, 2009 at 1:31 pm
Big Ben will also agree to give up his custody claims on her 137 cats, cat skeletons, and assorted vermin.
September 9th, 2009 at 1:36 pm
Also, Ben has to give her back the cowboy hat.
September 9th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
Ben must level up her Call of Duty ranking to 15 and get her the sleight of hand perk.
September 9th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
YEEEEEEEEE HAW I AM CALLING TECH SUPPORT IN BANGALORE!!!
September 9th, 2009 at 1:51 pm
It is you, lady, who should be apologizing to me for the consensual sex we had. – Ben
September 9th, 2009 at 2:01 pm
I demand an apology for your sub-par blowjob. And don’t get me started on the low-quality skank “friend” you invited over for the three-way.
-Ben
September 9th, 2009 at 2:04 pm
Just to be careful Jerry is going to launch the video board in Safe Mode before the Cowboys first home game next Sunday.
He should probably wipe the drive of those videos of him doing strange things to a barbecue-slathered Wade Phillips so there are no mid-game mishaps.
September 9th, 2009 at 2:04 pm
It appears to have been overlooked around these parts that the Raiders decided to cut Gay Zorro at the end of camp. Are we going to get the obligatory Gay Zorro post, or what?
September 9th, 2009 at 2:09 pm
So the Micro Machines ad guy is now doing sports journalism? Sweet.
September 9th, 2009 at 2:58 pm
I’m wondering now if Count Al didn’t make that retarded Seymour trade anticipating an uncapped season. Not so much a smart move, but one last “fuck you” to the rest of the league (and his heirs.)
What if Count Al decides to go out in a blaze of glory and puts $200 million into the roster, ruining the pay curve across the board and signing as many All-Pros as he can swipe…and then pulling his own Harkonnen heartplug? Super Bowl or not, that would totally be an Al Davis move.
/Jerry Jones would do it too, for different reasons
//YEE-HAW
///he is fucking crazy
September 9th, 2009 at 3:05 pm
JaMarcus Russell, Robert Gallery, Heyward-Bey, etc. The Raiders are the one team in the league that is better off without a first-round pick. Better to have a Pro Bowl has-been than a young never-was.
September 9th, 2009 at 5:10 pm
@ Nate Newton…….
Whoa, whoa, whoa……that’s a little too much thoughtful football discussion for these parts. Fix You Dick Jokes.
September 9th, 2009 at 8:08 pm
That video was almost believable until they went and called Kyle Boller a real NFL player
September 9th, 2009 at 9:24 pm
I liked the chick in the commercial.
Also… no Hard Knocks action?
September 9th, 2009 at 10:06 pm
@Punch — I’m surprised, too … just as I was getting all nice and drunked up in preparation.
September 9th, 2009 at 10:09 pm
That implied oral consent must not fly with the NFL anymore.
September 9th, 2009 at 10:32 pm
maybe they r gonna do the west coast HBO feed for Hard Knocks
September 10th, 2009 at 7:35 am
I remembered Ape is at a bookwhoring party. But I kept checking, we know Punte loves them WHODEY!
September 10th, 2009 at 8:25 am
I remembered Ape is at a bookwhoring party. But I kept checking, we know Punte loves them WHODEY!
P.S. – Sorry, forgot to tell you great post!