KSK Kontent Klearinghouse: I Couldn’t Care Less About Wearing Pants
Joe Namath, drunken wooer of the Matron Saint, tiller of Maude Mona Simpson’s wild oats, graces a photo spread for the South Florida Sun Sentinel’s special football preview section. Because, uh, Willy Joe looks to figure heavily in the outcome of the ‘09 season. Still, it’s a good enough excuse to get the old drunk and his mandals to throw on a mink coat and feel fancy.
Remember how the NFL got all pissy about there being single game wagering in Delaware? Me neither, because I’m too distracted by Gus the Eagles Groundhog to harp on any hypocrisy about the NFL being involved with state lotteries. Though I bet McNabb made the throat slash motion to his coaches when they had Gus in on consecutive snaps. [The700Level]
Because of book whoring obligations this week, I didn’t get around to making a big deal out of the Redskins suing old ladies into bankruptcy then selling their tickets to scalpers. Which doubly sucks because now it seems authorities are cracking down on the forming of D.C. area (that’s “DMV” to the locals, son) shantytowns filled by Daniel Snyder-created Redskins Hobos! WILL THERE BE NO JUSTICE FOR US, COOCH!? OR EVEN WARM BLANKETS!?
Bills offensive coordinator Turkmenistan Schonert has been shown the door, making him the third OC fired just this month, joining Chan Gailey and Jeff Jagoff-something. Three, huh? Time for a trend story! Welcome, new UFL coaching class.
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16 Responses to “KSK Kontent Klearinghouse: I Couldn’t Care Less About Wearing Pants”
So I read the article about the Redskins suing season ticket holders, because being broke, bored, and unemployed, I figured a little moral outrage at a franchise I dislike anyway would help numb the pain of my soul crushing existence. Boy howdy, was I right.
I know this a humor blog first, and a sports blog second, but that’s unconscienable. I’d be mortified if the Colts did that, and I’d write to say so. Why would you go after your biggest fans like that? I know times are hard for just about anyone, but I can’t imagine that the Redskins are hurting for money that badly.
Presumably, Gus the groundhog is some weird, pathetic rip-off of Punxsutawney Phil. Most of the fine residents of Punxsutawney wouldn’t bother putting out an Iggles fan if he were on fire (well, maybe with an ice pick).
September 4th, 2009 at 3:01 pm
I smell varmint poontang,
and the only good gopher poontang is dead gopher poontang
September 4th, 2009 at 3:13 pm
Fucking Ft. Lauderdale. I don’t care how old he is, it’s a bit too hot for mink.
I hate South Florida.
September 4th, 2009 at 3:43 pm
The story about the Redskins makes me wish I had become a piano player in a whorehouse instead of a lawyer.
BRING ME THE HEAD OF DANIEL SNYDER ON A TOOTHPICK!!!!! AND HIS SHYSTER MOUTHPIECE TOO!!!!!
September 4th, 2009 at 4:01 pm
as an eagles fan, i hate that fucking groundhog… HATE IT.
September 4th, 2009 at 5:46 pm
As a Pennsylvanian and a Stiller fan, we shoot them there whistle-pigs an-at.
September 4th, 2009 at 5:58 pm
So I read the article about the Redskins suing season ticket holders, because being broke, bored, and unemployed, I figured a little moral outrage at a franchise I dislike anyway would help numb the pain of my soul crushing existence. Boy howdy, was I right.
I know this a humor blog first, and a sports blog second, but that’s unconscienable. I’d be mortified if the Colts did that, and I’d write to say so. Why would you go after your biggest fans like that? I know times are hard for just about anyone, but I can’t imagine that the Redskins are hurting for money that badly.
Good stuff otherwise though.
September 4th, 2009 at 6:45 pm
Presumably, Gus the groundhog is some weird, pathetic rip-off of Punxsutawney Phil. Most of the fine residents of Punxsutawney wouldn’t bother putting out an Iggles fan if he were on fire (well, maybe with an ice pick).
September 4th, 2009 at 6:57 pm
Gus did the exact same commercial wearing a Steeler uniform here in Pittsburgh.
groundhogs have no team loyalty. Which is why we shoot them.
/the more you know
September 4th, 2009 at 9:15 pm
I’m not saying the Bills are desperate, but their new offensive coordinator is Ask Madden.
September 4th, 2009 at 10:40 pm
The fuck kinda number is 49? Everyone knows woodland creatures play D-Line.
September 5th, 2009 at 1:45 am
Funniest. Post. Title. Ever.
September 5th, 2009 at 2:02 pm
Um, you mean
MONA Simpson
, right?
/nitpicky douche
September 5th, 2009 at 2:05 pm
@Seventy-Five:
HTML FAIL
September 5th, 2009 at 3:23 pm
Seventy-five:
Right you are.
/turns in Simpsons fan club T-shirt and tricorner hat
September 6th, 2009 at 12:04 pm
vapor lock!
September 6th, 2009 at 1:38 pm
Merriman arrested for assault on Tia Tequila
http://weblog.signonsandiego.com/news/breaking/2009/09/chargers_merriman_arrested_for.html