We just couldn’t help ourselves. More non-football Kanye VMA incident Photoshoppery available at Holy Taco.
Emmitt Smiff will appear on The Today Show on Friday (why the hell not? They already let Jenna Bush be a regular) to help Matt Lauer and Al Roker “serenate” the Cowboys new stadium. “If a punt were to stripe the Jumbothong, we would have what they call in golf, a Cortland Finnegan.” [Awful Announcing]
You’ve probably seen it elsewhere by now (as in, the live broadcast when it happened) but here’s video of Brady being a dismissive slapdick to the Matron Saint when she was trying to get a simple postgame quote. Listen here and listen good, Dreamscrote, you are messing with forces beyond your limited comprehension. You will show the Matron Saint her due reverence or, so help me, I’ll tear your nuts off and have Aaron Schobel run them back for six. [WithLeather]
There was some disagreement among the KSK ranks about who is the most deserving of the dubious distinction of being the Jeff George Memorial Least of the Week for Kickoff Weekend. Then we remembered that we hadn’t had a poll in a while and thought we’d leave it to the readers to make the call.
The fact that you didn’t automatically give this To DelHomme makes me doubt that you’ve ever watched a football game in your life. I’ve never seen a QB so prolifically distribute suck all over the field as efficiently as Jake did. When you get benched for Josh McCown, you’re done.
09.16.09 at 2:15 pm
Paroxysmic
God I’m going to miss Emmitt this year, both in the booth and in KSK posts. Both made me laugh without fail every time they showed up.
That being said, Carolina needs to resize that they must masturbate the ball down the feel if theyre going to have any Chancy Stuckey at winning at this professionalism revel. Delhomme throws too many misconceptions right into the deer fence.
09.16.09 at 1:15 pm
synapticmisfires
What a strong, diverse field of candidates this week though. Definitely a good week for bad football. How are there not some Bengal DBs on that list though? Maybe Leon Hall and Roy Williams could run as a ticket?
09.16.09 at 1:11 pm
synapticmisfires
Delhomme is the obvious pick, but I sort of have to go with McKelvin. Delhomme was just awful, horrible, pathetic all game long but McKelvin deliberately ran the ball directly into a situation that everyone in America knew was going to end badly. Delhomme might not be able to help sucking ass, whereas McKelvin definitely chose to suck ass.
09.16.09 at 10:43 am
Spatula
For running down his douchiness, the matron saint defines “clutch.” For asking, “How does it feel to win the game?” she decided to channel PK and become concrete cyanide.
/Who can’t create a KSK mashup?
09.16.09 at 10:36 am
Vince Wilspork
I’m a Patriots fan and even I had to vote for Delhomme over McKelvin.
Delhommes last two professional football games: 24 completions, 9 interceptions, 1 touchdown.
Yikes. Good job Carolina. That’s 20 million in guaranteed money well spent.
09.16.09 at 10:08 am
Sea Otter
Delhomme in a walk. John Fox is going to get his ass fired because he couldn’t admit that Delhomme was done as an NFL starting QB. They could have brought in Vick for nothing, for Christ’s sake.
09.16.09 at 8:19 am
DaydreamBilliever
i had to vote McKelvin on principle, but Delhomme’s gotta be the weiner here. did like Fox get drunk and hit on him and now Delhomme has some sort of blackmail thing going? he should’ve been cut after his playoff showing, but here he goes showing it wasn’t a fluke like all the Panthers fans hoped.
09.16.09 at 12:42 am
Tecmo Bowl Bo Jackson
I also went with Delhomme. Frankly I’m baffled he’s been the starting QB for six years now in Carolina. His days have got to be numbered after his performance on Sunday.
09.16.09 at 12:31 am
JaysonAych
I voted for Delhomme, but I wanted to vote for the entire Carolina organization for letting that happen. They needed to dump Delhomme’s ass two or three years ago, but for some reason the Panthers keep bullshitting themselves that they’re just hunky-dory at QB.
09.15.09 at 11:22 pm
jackin'4beats
You’re supposed to vote in the poll, not on the player’s lawn!
Leodis better thank his lucky stars he’s not a Colombian soccer player.
Jeez does no one in Buffalo have anything to do but eat, drink and act like a retard when your team loses again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, and again?
I mean c’mon people…
09.15.09 at 10:18 pm
martinriggs
@ Ape: Leodis McKelvin is lucky Stefen Djordjevic & Bosco weren’t around to fuck his shit up. Just have “Rifleman take a knee” DICK!
You’re supposed to vote in the poll, not on the player’s lawn!
09.15.09 at 8:29 pm
Mike from Stumptown
@Rikadyn
At least your WR didn’t puss out at gametime. *COUGH* Steve Breaston *COUGH*
/deserved it for starting him
//immediately put him on waivers
09.15.09 at 8:02 pm
Head Bee Guy
While Cutler’s expectations were far higher, I’ve never before watched a game where I was expecting a defensive touchdown on every single play. Gotta go Delhomme.
09.15.09 at 7:58 pm
make it snow
DeAngelo Hall deserves a lifetime achievement award, but this week I don’t think it gets any less (?) than Jake Delhomme.
09.15.09 at 6:54 pm
Rikadyn
Least you don’t have Santana Moss getting ya 1.6pts…
-.-
09.15.09 at 6:08 pm
Jay
Andre Johnson.
When I drafted him, I imagined I’d be getting more than seven poxy points a game.
09.15.09 at 6:03 pm
Mo Charlo
Not to sound like I’m defending Brady here, but his hustling DID afford us a rare full-body view of Suzy. Can’t be all bad.
09.15.09 at 5:56 pm
my nuts your chin
I wish my fantasy team’s trio of Stevens (Jackson, Smith, and Slaton) were a composite candidate for Least of the Week. They combined for about 11 points. And to think I was so happy after the first three rounds of the draft…
09.15.09 at 5:48 pm
Grimey
No love for Sabby Piscitelli?
Yeah, I don’t know who he is either.
09.15.09 at 5:39 pm
Fucktard
As sad as Delhomey was, it’s Cutlerfucker for the win!
09.15.09 at 5:32 pm
Mike From Stumptown
Where are the St. Louis Rams? They were the only team to get shut out over the (extended) weekend.
/dick joke
09.15.09 at 5:14 pm
FEAST
Hopping on a meme while it’s only slightly old? Hopping on a meme while it’s only slightly old.
09.15.09 at 5:10 pm
Dmac
I’m a Bears fan, and you have to give it to numbnuts Cutler. Throwing off his back foot into double coverage, throwing off his back foot across the field – looked like the second coming of Sexy Rexy.
09.15.09 at 5:08 pm
BUkkake Night in Canada
Add that homo Tom Brady to the meast of the week.
09.15.09 at 5:05 pm
Ryno
The bears are a 5 win team at best.
09.15.09 at 4:51 pm
LaFavre's Next Interception
Delhomme is who we thought he was. Cutlerfucker’s preseason buildup was so big, and his performance so shockingly bad, that he gets my vote. Plus, he reminds me of Jeff George a little, huge arm, little brain.
09.15.09 at 4:51 pm
James Harrison will taste manflesh!
“I’ll tear your nuts off and have Aaron Schobel run them back for six.”
A+ for that.
For least of the week, Parker had no blocking. Cutler has nobody to throw to. Delhomme it is.
09.15.09 at 4:49 pm
SteelScouser
Hines is to the Bus as Delhomme is to Jake Plummer ’99
09.15.09 at 4:42 pm
Dan Snyder's Fantasy Team
What, no option for the whole Washington Redskins offense?
Tom Brady better watch out. Joe Namath is quite protective over his woman.
09.15.09 at 4:33 pm
Outshined_One
Lovie Smith will challenge the existence of anyone put in his path for the Least of the Week.
09.15.09 at 4:28 pm
paper
not seeing the option to vote for the Texans’ OC. The Schaub/Johnson/Slaton FF mothership is listing.
09.15.09 at 4:21 pm
Farthammer
I would elect the butthead from Buffalo’s special teams, but then Chicago’s longsnapper comes along and audibles the shit out of things.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/redskins_thin_man1-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/rodneyharrisongrief-150x150.jpg)
The fact that you didn’t automatically give this To DelHomme makes me doubt that you’ve ever watched a football game in your life. I’ve never seen a QB so prolifically distribute suck all over the field as efficiently as Jake did. When you get benched for Josh McCown, you’re done.
God I’m going to miss Emmitt this year, both in the booth and in KSK posts. Both made me laugh without fail every time they showed up.
That being said, Carolina needs to resize that they must masturbate the ball down the feel if theyre going to have any Chancy Stuckey at winning at this professionalism revel. Delhomme throws too many misconceptions right into the deer fence.
What a strong, diverse field of candidates this week though. Definitely a good week for bad football. How are there not some Bengal DBs on that list though? Maybe Leon Hall and Roy Williams could run as a ticket?
Delhomme is the obvious pick, but I sort of have to go with McKelvin. Delhomme was just awful, horrible, pathetic all game long but McKelvin deliberately ran the ball directly into a situation that everyone in America knew was going to end badly. Delhomme might not be able to help sucking ass, whereas McKelvin definitely chose to suck ass.
For running down his douchiness, the matron saint defines “clutch.” For asking, “How does it feel to win the game?” she decided to channel PK and become concrete cyanide.
/Who can’t create a KSK mashup?
I’m a Patriots fan and even I had to vote for Delhomme over McKelvin.
Delhommes last two professional football games: 24 completions, 9 interceptions, 1 touchdown.
Yikes. Good job Carolina. That’s 20 million in guaranteed money well spent.
Delhomme in a walk. John Fox is going to get his ass fired because he couldn’t admit that Delhomme was done as an NFL starting QB. They could have brought in Vick for nothing, for Christ’s sake.
i had to vote McKelvin on principle, but Delhomme’s gotta be the weiner here. did like Fox get drunk and hit on him and now Delhomme has some sort of blackmail thing going? he should’ve been cut after his playoff showing, but here he goes showing it wasn’t a fluke like all the Panthers fans hoped.
I also went with Delhomme. Frankly I’m baffled he’s been the starting QB for six years now in Carolina. His days have got to be numbered after his performance on Sunday.
I voted for Delhomme, but I wanted to vote for the entire Carolina organization for letting that happen. They needed to dump Delhomme’s ass two or three years ago, but for some reason the Panthers keep bullshitting themselves that they’re just hunky-dory at QB.
You’re supposed to vote in the poll, not on the player’s lawn!
Leodis better thank his lucky stars he’s not a Colombian soccer player.
Jeez does no one in Buffalo have anything to do but eat, drink and act like a retard when your team loses again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, again, and again?
I mean c’mon people…
@ Ape: Leodis McKelvin is lucky Stefen Djordjevic & Bosco weren’t around to fuck his shit up. Just have “Rifleman take a knee” DICK!
Two least noms.
1. Bob Bratkowski. I hear the Bengals are looking for a new O.C.
http://cincinnati.craigslist.org/bus/1374042940.html
2. Roy Williams. No, you just couldn’t play the tipped ball. You just had to go for the big hit to lay out Marshall, opening things up for Stokely.
@Ape: I wonder if he got the message that it’s Time to Leave.
http://www.ajc.com/sports/bills-139329.html
You’re supposed to vote in the poll, not on the player’s lawn!
@Rikadyn
At least your WR didn’t puss out at gametime. *COUGH* Steve Breaston *COUGH*
/deserved it for starting him
//immediately put him on waivers
While Cutler’s expectations were far higher, I’ve never before watched a game where I was expecting a defensive touchdown on every single play. Gotta go Delhomme.
DeAngelo Hall deserves a lifetime achievement award, but this week I don’t think it gets any less (?) than Jake Delhomme.
Least you don’t have Santana Moss getting ya 1.6pts…
-.-
Andre Johnson.
When I drafted him, I imagined I’d be getting more than seven poxy points a game.
Not to sound like I’m defending Brady here, but his hustling DID afford us a rare full-body view of Suzy. Can’t be all bad.
I wish my fantasy team’s trio of Stevens (Jackson, Smith, and Slaton) were a composite candidate for Least of the Week. They combined for about 11 points. And to think I was so happy after the first three rounds of the draft…
No love for Sabby Piscitelli?
Yeah, I don’t know who he is either.
As sad as Delhomey was, it’s Cutlerfucker for the win!
Where are the St. Louis Rams? They were the only team to get shut out over the (extended) weekend.
/dick joke
Hopping on a meme while it’s only slightly old? Hopping on a meme while it’s only slightly old.
I’m a Bears fan, and you have to give it to numbnuts Cutler. Throwing off his back foot into double coverage, throwing off his back foot across the field – looked like the second coming of Sexy Rexy.
Add that homo Tom Brady to the meast of the week.
The bears are a 5 win team at best.
Delhomme is who we thought he was. Cutlerfucker’s preseason buildup was so big, and his performance so shockingly bad, that he gets my vote. Plus, he reminds me of Jeff George a little, huge arm, little brain.
“I’ll tear your nuts off and have Aaron Schobel run them back for six.”
A+ for that.
For least of the week, Parker had no blocking. Cutler has nobody to throw to. Delhomme it is.
Hines is to the Bus as Delhomme is to Jake Plummer ’99
What, no option for the whole Washington Redskins offense?
Tom Brady better watch out. Joe Namath is quite protective over his woman.
Lovie Smith will challenge the existence of anyone put in his path for the Least of the Week.
not seeing the option to vote for the Texans’ OC. The Schaub/Johnson/Slaton FF mothership is listing.
I would elect the butthead from Buffalo’s special teams, but then Chicago’s longsnapper comes along and audibles the shit out of things.
Eh, let’s go with Cutler.
Gotta go Delhomme. On animated .gif cred alone….