KSK Kares Update: You People Are Generous and Deserve to Be Rewarded
I know you’re all focused on the new NFL season and busy trawling the waiver wire for fantasy pick-ups, but I wanted to briefly thank everyone who has donated to my participation in Fight Gone Bad IV, which benefits Athletes for a Cure and the Wounded Warrior Project (more on all that here).
Yesterday, KSK readers donated $615 to my fund, which currently stands at more than $1900. Unbeknownst to me, there was something called the FGB IV Home Stretch Challenge, and $615 was more than any other athlete raised yesterday, so I won said challenge. The prize: a pair of limited edition Oakley Gascan sunglasses. These are nice sunglasses. But I don’t deserve them; you do. (Besides, my charming translucent pallor prevents me from experiencing direct sunlight.)
Perhaps in a perfect world, I could break the sunglasses into scores of different-sized pieces and mail every donor a sunglass shard proportionate to their gift. Instead, let’s do this: make a donation, then forward me the email you receive confirming your donation (my email). The person who makes the largest donation between now and 5 p.m. Eastern tomorrow will be lauded on this blog for their charitable magnanimity and general physical attractiveness — and he or she will also be the proud new owner of a pair of limited edition Oakley Gascan sunglasses.
Also: consider this a reminder to send us questions for tomorrow’s sex/fantasy football mailbag. Naturally, we’ll favor submissions from people who have donated to FGB.
Tags: captain caveman, KsK Kares
September 16th, 2009 at 5:52 pm
I would like the phone number of the woman with the
uzipvc pipe.September 16th, 2009 at 6:25 pm
I want Shawne to choke her.
September 16th, 2009 at 6:27 pm
Damn, she’s hot. But for some reason, I have a problem with fucking muscular women. I’m scared they’ll get mad and rip my dick off. Anyone else have the same feeling?
September 16th, 2009 at 6:34 pm
At the very least, her deadlift form is almost perfect (chin down slightly, darlin’).
September 16th, 2009 at 6:39 pm
butterface
September 16th, 2009 at 6:40 pm
I say we set her loose on Brady, Cutler, and other players we want to have their dicks ripped off.
September 16th, 2009 at 7:14 pm
Asian chicks dig the Sumo style.
September 16th, 2009 at 7:49 pm
sure, she has lots of muscles, but it’s clear that she’s also been working out with her neck coach, who i can only assume is Merton Hanks
September 16th, 2009 at 8:12 pm
if you really want people to donate, I suggest using pics of Brandii Breaston: http://i28.tinypic.com/2v93u9w.jpg
September 16th, 2009 at 9:18 pm
butterface
Are you kidding? Her face is one of the few parts that wouldn’t make me feel like I was putting the moves on Lou Ferrigno.
If you’re turned on by everything but her face, congratulations, you’re gay.
September 16th, 2009 at 9:42 pm
She looks like a velociraptor with tits…but who am I kidding, I’d get Paleolithic on that.
September 16th, 2009 at 9:52 pm
Zack, +1 for the “Sneakers” reference.
September 16th, 2009 at 10:39 pm
Blech.
September 16th, 2009 at 11:07 pm
Zach’s computer dating service matched him with the jacked asain girl.
That photo looks like bad photoshop and/or she could deepthroat the Hedgehog without too much effort.
September 17th, 2009 at 12:37 am
I look at this chick’s neck and all I think about is Dhalsim from Street Fighter II.
September 17th, 2009 at 2:21 am
I would take a chance, Her squat style is not match for my..Who the fuck am i kidding, her squat style matches my viagra style any day. Would die trying.
September 17th, 2009 at 2:31 am
And by “not” i mean “no”. I plan on getting my mind right, boss. I’m Vegas bound with a side trip to the Chicken Ranch in Pahrump NV. I will give full disclosure upon my return. Tuesday is 2 for 1 extla speciar smire time. Checking one off the all-time list. I may miss a few days but I will be here in spirit despite the state of my Johnson.
/Taking one for the team.
September 17th, 2009 at 2:39 am
I promise not to write 10,000 words about it. 7.5 tops!
September 17th, 2009 at 2:55 am
The Purple-Headed Viking is gonna do some pillagin’.
September 17th, 2009 at 4:33 am
I was ALMOST there when I read @Coolwhhhhhhhips’ reply…
Thanks for not only ruining my ummm… drunken revelry, but also reminding me that multi-tasking is only non-creepy when it involves the use of the “Boss Button”
/Was in Vegas last month
//Reminds @yeah, right that in Vegas, you don’t have to book a hotel room to use it
///Wonders if Brandi Breston’s knees are more reliable than Steve Breston’s (See? I got a football take in here)
September 17th, 2009 at 8:03 am
What’s with the dinosaur eggs?
September 17th, 2009 at 10:34 am
I never understood what’s hot about “women” with lots of veins and muscles sticking out. Hell, I never understood what’s not disgusting about “women” with lots of veins and muscles sticking out.
September 17th, 2009 at 10:45 am
3:29 Fran. Can I get a fundraiser?
September 17th, 2009 at 11:20 am
She looks like she might be doing a SDLHP (sumo deadlift high pull). Also, what is with the shoes? She’s on her heals, but those sneakers would kill any serious attempt. Vibrams or some other flats for deadlift, make sure you rock out some Rogue’s for oly.
September 17th, 2009 at 11:32 am
That reminds me, did anyone else used to jack it back in the day to Kianna’s Flex Appeal on ESPN2 before High School? The routine was: wake up, eat breakfast while watching Sportscenter, flip it to ESPN 2, jack it, shower, jack it again, then go to school.
September 17th, 2009 at 11:35 am
She’s about a 7.5 and her feet look to be about an 11eee. (men’s)
September 17th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
Strange Botwin, it sounds like you and I had the same routine in middle school, besides the redundant jacking. Ah, the days before high speed web connections.
September 17th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
Osi Umenyoria would let her poop on him!
September 17th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
@Matt Leinart’s Clipboard
Chick’s neck=Dhalsim=Street Fighter II=Chun-Li=Successful drunk monkey-spanking.
September 17th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
So nobody can work the beer kegs into any form of smartass comment?
September 17th, 2009 at 9:26 pm
@CoolHwhip – Chun-Li makes me shoot my Yoga Fire every time.
@BigRedEd – “She wondered how long it would be before the others arrived with the rest of the parts to help finish construction of the baddest keg stand EVER!!!”
/Laying PVC pipe joke