It’s My Turn To Be Molested By Lee Evans
Should I make it out to “Sucker?”
We’ve been over this before: Lee Evans is fantasy football AIDS. Lee Evans is like a $100-dollar bill from a country that doesn’t even exist anymore. He’s a mirage. For Lee Evans’ projected totals for 2009, every fantasy magazine should simply read, “Seriously?” There’s no redeeming value to his production whatsoever.
And so I took him in the third round.
The much-heralded KSK Keeper League has produced two champions and one engagement in its brief existence, but it also has produced an assortment of chicanery, stupidity, and inappropriate remarks about other fantasy owners’ mothers. So it seems only fair to show you how the fantasy sausage is made. Some of you won’t care about this at all. You’re excused. The rest of you can tag along in the following liveblog, set to start at 7. You can see the board of selections and participants here. But yeah, it’s other people’s fantasy football.
We’ll keep the porchlight on through Hard Knocks if the draft spills over, but in the interim, enjoy, if that’s possible.
Tags: fantasy football, fuck you lee evans, MMP
September 2nd, 2009 at 6:37 pm
Oh I can’t wait!!
/pops 8 oxycotins
//was that too ma
September 2nd, 2009 at 6:42 pm
Liveblog font: Courier Gay.
How appropriate.
September 2nd, 2009 at 6:44 pm
mr invisible lee evans, one-armed carson palmer, ocho-stinko, braylon “dropsies” edwards, and the dreamboat fucked over my fantasy team last season.
September 2nd, 2009 at 8:04 pm
Wanna know the saddest part.
Lee Evans was actually my best WR last year.
And I still won my league. True story.
September 2nd, 2009 at 8:49 pm
Wait. Engagement?
September 2nd, 2009 at 9:22 pm
Yes, engagement. Punte and Ape are moving to Vermont.
September 2nd, 2009 at 9:55 pm
I wouldn’t draft Lee Evans in the 3rd round even if my league had a special “Automatic 10 points for starting Lee Evans” rule. Do you draft in a 30-person league or something?
September 2nd, 2009 at 10:20 pm
Yes, engagement. Punte and Ape are moving to Vermont.
Yeah, right. Like Ape would EVER take me anywhere…
September 3rd, 2009 at 9:04 am
@MMP –
Well, when was the last time you did something with your hair? Honestly, it’s like you don’t even try anymore.
September 3rd, 2009 at 9:18 am
Lee Evans in the third round is 19 rounds too early
September 3rd, 2009 at 9:27 am
Speaking of fantasy leagues, will there be a suicide pool this year?
September 3rd, 2009 at 10:51 am
And so I took [Lee Evans] in the third round.
Jeez Punte, that’s just wrong
September 3rd, 2009 at 11:10 am
Evans will have a huge year! You can’t cover Lee and T.O.! Someone’s gonna be open! This is the year we make the playoffs!
/turns off AM talk radio.
September 3rd, 2009 at 11:16 am
P.S. – You do know that the first team offense hasn’t scored a touchdown yet, right?
September 3rd, 2009 at 11:57 am
A. Peterson went at the end of round 1? What kind of league is this.
September 3rd, 2009 at 12:48 pm
Didn’t T.O. tell Dick Jauron he was fine with an equal split of targets between himself and Evans? What is everyone worried about?
/Still waiting for T.O. to realize he is in fucking Buffalo
September 3rd, 2009 at 1:14 pm
What fucking Engagment?
September 3rd, 2009 at 1:19 pm
Ape has the Ravens’ DST?!
INTERNETZ ASPLODE!!!11!!
September 3rd, 2009 at 1:31 pm
Lee Evans is the free dinner coupon you forgot you had on your dresser, only to take a girl out on a first date with intentions of using it. Then the bill comes and the coupon is expired and the girl is such a bitch that she WON’T dump you just so she can rub it in your face every time she has all her Oprah Book Club friends over for White Zinfandel for the rest of your miserable life…Did I say that out loud? I meant, I hate Lee Evans…
September 3rd, 2009 at 2:14 pm
“And so I took him in the third round”
Lee Evans has already molested you.
September 3rd, 2009 at 3:17 pm
KSK suicide pool please.
/knows requests never work here
//kries
September 3rd, 2009 at 7:04 pm
“Yeah, right. Like Ape would EVER take me anywhere…”
Are we boring? This is so us.
September 3rd, 2009 at 8:13 pm
Congrats, Maj! I’m just happy to hear that another one of the KSK guys is finally getting laid from time to time.
With a woman, I mean.
September 4th, 2009 at 4:05 pm
I just traded Ahmad Bradshaw for Evans,Not a bad deal as long as TO gets the coverage.
September 6th, 2009 at 6:33 am
I just traded Lee Evans for Ray Rice to a guy I think wouldn’t mind being literally molested by Lee Evans