Fresh fish! Fresh fish! Fresh fish!
Former Super Bowl hero Plaxico Burress was reportedly met by a number of jeers and catcalls from fellow inmates when he was taken to Riker’s Island prison to begin serving his sentence for weapons violations. This isn’t too surprising considering Burress’ notoriety and the high-profile criminal case against him. KSK has more than a few readers inside NYC’s “sixth borough” and they shared some of the comments directed toward Burress yesterday.
“You’re a dead man. This is the world’s largest concentration of Jets fans.”
“Any man who drops a pass spends a night in the box.”
“The Michigan State Alumni Group meets on Tuesdays at 2:45, near the basketball courts.”
“I must admit I didn’t think much of Plaxico first time I laid eyes on him. He might’a been important on the outside, but in here he was just a little turd in prison grays. Looked like a stiff breeze could blow him over. That was my first impression of the man.”
“Charlatan!!!”
“Don’t worry, you can still make regular visits to LQ. Locked-up Queens, that is!”
Tags: bad MS Paint, Cheddar Plax, Prison
September 24th, 2009 at 1:52 pm
I can’t wait for Andy Reid to pick him up in 2011.
September 24th, 2009 at 1:54 pm
“I can smell your cunt! No, no wait. That’s just your finger, isn’t it?”
September 24th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
Clarisse? Is that you?
September 24th, 2009 at 2:06 pm
He’ll be okay once he advises White Power Bill to kill himself.
September 24th, 2009 at 2:13 pm
A hated New York rival? Football? Prison?
Well, Simmons is good for a few thousand more Shawshank references.
September 24th, 2009 at 2:13 pm
So 100% of the inmates at Riker’s are Vietnamese that have no shoes? I’d be fucking terrified.
September 24th, 2009 at 2:13 pm
Mark Gastineau’s crew will look out for him as long as he keisters heroin into Gen Pop.
September 24th, 2009 at 2:13 pm
he better proove to his hispanic cellmate that jesus talks to so he can get his notebooks back.
September 24th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
Wait until Vernon Schillinger and his boys get a hold of him.
+1 Ape for the Arrested Development reference.
September 24th, 2009 at 2:17 pm
perhaps he will show how hard he is by smuggling heroin up his ass.
September 24th, 2009 at 2:27 pm
He shouldn’t worry, as long as his baby’s momma helps out the warden with his screenplay, “The new Warden”
September 24th, 2009 at 2:27 pm
+1 flub for the well-placed Shawshankiness
September 24th, 2009 at 2:39 pm
I heard Plaxico was scarred by the very idea of prison after mistaking the Wizard of Oz for Oz the HBO show.
/tried to reference AD even better than Ape, failed miserably.
September 24th, 2009 at 2:41 pm
Can Plex get “real” to be “funked” as the t-shirt on the young man behind him suggests? Does he want to be “funked”? These are the questions that must be plaguing young Burress’ mind.
September 24th, 2009 at 2:47 pm
Plax will be OK- his fellow inmates are skinny, shoeless Filipinos wearing irregular t-shirts in cells secured by pad-lock.
September 24th, 2009 at 2:59 pm
don’t fumble the soap
September 24th, 2009 at 3:02 pm
Wiping it off here boss.
September 24th, 2009 at 3:06 pm
Plax will be OK- his fellow inmates are skinny, shoeless Filipinos wearing irregular t-shirts in cells secured by pad-lock.
I can’t tell, do any of them say 19-0?
September 24th, 2009 at 3:15 pm
“The Michigan State Alumni Group meets on Tuesdays at 2:45, near the basketball courts.”
Heh heh heh… it’s funny because it’s true.
September 24th, 2009 at 3:16 pm
Wipe it off, Dragline.
September 24th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
meet your new cell mate, Simon Adebesi
September 24th, 2009 at 3:35 pm
I thought we were here to free hat?
September 24th, 2009 at 3:40 pm
NO TOUCHING!
September 24th, 2009 at 3:44 pm
Soooooo, judging from the background pic, Rikers Island prison is somewhere in the Philippines?
September 24th, 2009 at 3:51 pm
there are some tv shows that would lead you to believe that men have sex with other men in jail!
against their will even!
September 24th, 2009 at 3:54 pm
maybe Plax will sell a video series called “Caged Wisdom” while in prison
/beating A.D. references into the ground
//knows Otto and others will appreciate it
September 24th, 2009 at 4:01 pm
But will there be ice cream sandwiches?
September 24th, 2009 at 4:03 pm
Plax can’t hear you because he’s got…
/produces coin out of thin air
…dirty ears!
September 24th, 2009 at 4:05 pm
So does that make Eli Dorothy?
September 24th, 2009 at 4:05 pm
Atta boy, jcp…FREE HAT MCCULLOUGH!!!
September 24th, 2009 at 4:09 pm
. . . a wide receiver was sent to prison by a NY state court for a crime he didn’t commit. This man promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, he survives as a soldier of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find him, maybe you can hire… the G-Man.
September 24th, 2009 at 4:12 pm
@ Spatula:
I’m pretty sure that guy’s t-shirt says “GET READY TO BE FUNKED”, which makes only slightly more sense.
September 24th, 2009 at 4:16 pm
Plax nailed his audition for Frightened Inmate # 09-R-3260.
/strikes the deceased equine
September 24th, 2009 at 4:30 pm
Thursday is my dart league night, so may I request that the Mailbag gets posted a little earlier? It’s much more convenient to read the ‘bag during work hours (8-5 EST). Thanks.
September 24th, 2009 at 4:37 pm
Gentlemen (and flubby), would you please provide your free content meant ot amuse us at the times we demand it please? I would have to actually be productive to society at certain times of the day. Kthnxbai
September 24th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
Rocco, may I request you and your dart league take a flying fuck at a rolling donut?
September 24th, 2009 at 4:45 pm
The really big question of the day should be, does Plax prefer jelly or syrup?
/Chris Rock’d AND HBO’d AND salad toss’d
September 24th, 2009 at 4:46 pm
Or is that covered in the mailbag?
September 24th, 2009 at 4:46 pm
Plax’s personal effects included one unused prophylactic. And one soiled.
September 24th, 2009 at 4:47 pm
Cons v. Guards The Longest Yard III
or
having to fight a cell filled with Filipinos in Penitentiary IV
who ya got???
September 24th, 2009 at 5:30 pm
Plaxy horny, Michael.
/just following the lead of everyone else!
September 24th, 2009 at 5:56 pm
Riker’s Guard: Hey, you’re Eli Manning. You can’t park there! No stair-car parking!
/carboat parking permitted
September 24th, 2009 at 6:33 pm
The warden was curious. Less about how he would escape and more about the beating that the brash football player would recieve
September 25th, 2009 at 1:22 am
I can’t wait to see their awesome dance routine!!
September 25th, 2009 at 1:58 am
Slothrock: Way to bring the Blues Brothers into this…
Plax: What kind of music do you usually have here?
Inmate 19-0-1R: Oh, we got both kinds, Michael Jackson AND Thriller!
/best I could do with 3 minutes before work’s over
//let the Fillipino/Vietnamese dance-off begin
September 25th, 2009 at 1:42 pm
Meanwhile Donte Stallworth just got a BJ from a hot chick and warmed up some spaghetti.