First Quarterback to Three Pick-Sixes Gets to Die With Their Coach
Fantasy owners in possession of Felix Jones or either starting defense have to be licking their chomps and lubricating their fists at the prospect of the forthcoming points SPLOSION. And that must be the way because I will not stand for this game being anything but an overblown comedy of errors, where turnovers abound, Marty B is mic’d up and irate people in the overbooked Party Pass sections in the new Cowboys stadium turn to mob violence to exact revenge on the muckety-mucks who heap disdain upon them from their fancy “seats” with “views of the field”. But these raging Dallas untouchables don’t count on the cage dancers being heavily armed and trained by Mossad. Just when it can’t get more bizarre, out come the C.H.U.D.s.
Tags: dallas cowboys, Live Blogification, panther pride, pickerceptions, taj mahyeehaw, tony romo, xmas ape
September 28th, 2009 at 5:15 pm
YES!!! There’s blogification tonight. I never get tired of all you cumswilers making fun of my Cowboys and everything I hold dear. Long live Texas, bitches!!!!! YEEEEEHHHHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!
September 28th, 2009 at 5:26 pm
I bet Jerry has something special planned for that nose and those cage dancers tonight. YEE HAW.
Also, down 7 points + whatever Witten puts up. Start DeAngelo or Felix (if Barber is out)? I’ll hang up and wait for the dick joke.
September 28th, 2009 at 5:31 pm
Barber is almost certainly out. I’d go with DeAngelo, our defense is a silver stared turd.
September 28th, 2009 at 5:31 pm
Both Romo and Delhomme suck ass, but at least Jake hasn’t cried on the field as many times as ol’ Tony Homo. What a f–kin’ pansy.
+1 for C.H.U.D. reference. “Cannibalistic Underground Humanoid Dwellers.” God bless the 80s.
September 28th, 2009 at 5:32 pm
Or, for those of you without dyslexia, “Humanoid Underground.”
September 28th, 2009 at 5:45 pm
I fear the Morlocks and the Mole People more than C.H.U.D.s.
September 28th, 2009 at 5:53 pm
I really hope the Cowboys win, but there is no way Romo is not throwing at least one TAINT in this game.
Also, what’s the over/under on Flozell Adams tripping penalties in this one?
/FLOZELL ADAMS!!!!!!!!!
September 28th, 2009 at 6:50 pm
@Sex Cannon and the City I need 30 combined points from Romo and Folk, so hopefully Flozell goes all trippy on Peppers.
September 28th, 2009 at 7:04 pm
Over/Under 3.5 snaps before we get our first Packers/Vikings Week 4 MNF promo. Or will it come right off kickoff?
September 28th, 2009 at 7:13 pm
Her bangs hide it, but the Matron Saint has been in the botox chair.
September 28th, 2009 at 7:14 pm
i read “panther pride” and immediately imagined a simpson-ized michael keaton lighting skinners car on fire and shouting “puma pride! puma pride!”
thats the same episode that has this line, no? : “theres no air in space” “but there’s an air in space museum”
September 28th, 2009 at 7:20 pm
Christ, I’m actually looking at Romo and finding myself jealous of the Cowgirls after Chad Henne’s performance.
September 28th, 2009 at 7:43 pm
@pemulis
“And that’s when the C.H.U.D.s came at me.” is how Homer ends his flashback in Season 9’s “The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson”. The puma pride and “air in space” things are from from Season 12’s “Pokeymom”.
September 28th, 2009 at 8:02 pm
thanks, robot
September 28th, 2009 at 8:30 pm
did berman actually just make a yom kippur reference?
September 28th, 2009 at 8:37 pm
did berman actually just make a yom kippur reference?
Yeah- and he followed it with a Texas Toast reference.
September 28th, 2009 at 8:53 pm
our defense is a silver stared turd
The Cowboys’ run defence stopped my Giants RBs, Jacobs and Bradshaw, cold last week. Pass defence could use some work.
September 28th, 2009 at 10:26 pm
In deference to the recently deceased William Safire, shouldn’t it be “picks six”?
September 28th, 2009 at 11:47 pm
Man, I hope The Sports Douche lost a shit-ton of money on tonight’s game. And I’m ever-so-happy my team is the team to lose him said money.
/Go Cowboys
//fuck Bill Simmons
September 29th, 2009 at 12:01 am
Jake Delhomme gets benched for good in 5, 4, 3… Could A.J. Feeley see the field again? Panthers should have picked up the Sex Cannon…at least he makes throwing interceptions sexy.
Dude’s gonna implode even more when he drowns his sorrow in some bojangles. Copious amounts of bojangles.
September 29th, 2009 at 12:02 am
^The “dude” in that case is Delhomme.
September 29th, 2009 at 12:12 am
Are you all aware The Ben is hosting Monday Night RAW next week?
September 29th, 2009 at 12:27 am
/ just sayin’
Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger to host Monday Night Raw
Ben Roethlisberger, quarterback of Pittsburgh Steelers, knows a little something about handling a group of burly men bent on destroying each other. Good thing, too, since the Superbowl champion will drop by, along with his entire offensive line, next Monday night as special guest host of Raw! Don’t miss out on all the action.