Fantasy owners in possession of Felix Jones or either starting defense have to be licking their chomps and lubricating their fists at the prospect of the forthcoming points SPLOSION. And that must be the way because I will not stand for this game being anything but an overblown comedy of errors, where turnovers abound, Marty B is mic’d up and irate people in the overbooked Party Pass sections in the new Cowboys stadium turn to mob violence to exact revenge on the muckety-mucks who heap disdain upon them from their fancy “seats” with “views of the field”. But these raging Dallas untouchables don’t count on the cage dancers being heavily armed and trained by Mossad. Just when it can’t get more bizarre, out come the C.H.U.D.s.


/ just sayin’
Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger to host Monday Night Raw
Ben Roethlisberger, quarterback of Pittsburgh Steelers, knows a little something about handling a group of burly men bent on destroying each other. Good thing, too, since the Superbowl champion will drop by, along with his entire offensive line, next Monday night as special guest host of Raw! Don’t miss out on all the action.
Are you all aware The Ben is hosting Monday Night RAW next week?
^The “dude” in that case is Delhomme.
Jake Delhomme gets benched for good in 5, 4, 3… Could A.J. Feeley see the field again? Panthers should have picked up the Sex Cannon…at least he makes throwing interceptions sexy.
Dude’s gonna implode even more when he drowns his sorrow in some bojangles. Copious amounts of bojangles.
Man, I hope The Sports Douche lost a shit-ton of money on tonight’s game. And I’m ever-so-happy my team is the team to lose him said money.
/Go Cowboys
//fuck Bill Simmons
In deference to the recently deceased William Safire, shouldn’t it be “picks six”?
our defense is a silver stared turd
The Cowboys’ run defence stopped my Giants RBs, Jacobs and Bradshaw, cold last week. Pass defence could use some work.
did berman actually just make a yom kippur reference?
Yeah- and he followed it with a Texas Toast reference.
did berman actually just make a yom kippur reference?
thanks, robot
@pemulis
“And that’s when the C.H.U.D.s came at me.” is how Homer ends his flashback in Season 9′s “The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson”. The puma pride and “air in space” things are from from Season 12′s “Pokeymom”.
Christ, I’m actually looking at Romo and finding myself jealous of the Cowgirls after Chad Henne’s performance.
i read “panther pride” and immediately imagined a simpson-ized michael keaton lighting skinners car on fire and shouting “puma pride! puma pride!”
thats the same episode that has this line, no? : “theres no air in space” “but there’s an air in space museum”
Her bangs hide it, but the Matron Saint has been in the botox chair.
Over/Under 3.5 snaps before we get our first Packers/Vikings Week 4 MNF promo. Or will it come right off kickoff?
@Sex Cannon and the City I need 30 combined points from Romo and Folk, so hopefully Flozell goes all trippy on Peppers.
I really hope the Cowboys win, but there is no way Romo is not throwing at least one TAINT in this game.
Also, what’s the over/under on Flozell Adams tripping penalties in this one?
/FLOZELL ADAMS!!!!!!!!!
I fear the Morlocks and the Mole People more than C.H.U.D.s.
Or, for those of you without dyslexia, “Humanoid Underground.”
Both Romo and Delhomme suck ass, but at least Jake hasn’t cried on the field as many times as ol’ Tony Homo. What a f–kin’ pansy.
+1 for C.H.U.D. reference. “Cannibalistic Underground Humanoid Dwellers.” God bless the 80s.
Barber is almost certainly out. I’d go with DeAngelo, our defense is a silver stared turd.
I bet Jerry has something special planned for that nose and those cage dancers tonight. YEE HAW.
Also, down 7 points + whatever Witten puts up. Start DeAngelo or Felix (if Barber is out)? I’ll hang up and wait for the dick joke.
YES!!! There’s blogification tonight. I never get tired of all you cumswilers making fun of my Cowboys and everything I hold dear. Long live Texas, bitches!!!!! YEEEEEHHHHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!