Dislexy Rexy Will Not Kiss the Rings You Gave to Putin
I don’t think there’s ever been another team in history that’s generated more buzz with a win over the Texans than the Jets have this week. And with that newfound swagger they’ve decided to poke the bear as much as possible in advance of their Kris Jenkins dubbed “Super Bowl” against the Pats. Metal Gear Rex did his best Lane Kiffin impression and Kerry Rhodes pulled a near-Anthony Smith. There were even pointless Twitter fights involving Rodney Harrison, who someone needs to remind is no longer on the active roster.
Can Rex’s dirty chimichanga play well enough for the J-E-S-T to pull one out? Or will the Pats receivers decide not to drop seven passes this week and run away with it? Either way, Rex is at Scores by 5 p.m.
As Lombardi is my witness, the enclosed was parked adjacent to the convenience store where I took a leak Thursday a.m. as I began the trek back to the decaying Northeast. Said leak-location is within a half mile of Lambeau Field.
This week’s opponent…
You can’t make this shit up. Well you could. No you couldn’t. Er …
ESTABAN OCHOCINCO IS COMING AND HE’S BRINGING CARBOAT WITH HIM! TOOT! TOOT! HERE COMES S.S. KISS THE BABY!
Political blogger Matt Yglesias, who frequently writes about basketball and gets some cross links in the sports world, just threw out a very lame thought when discussing the Redskins name.
“When I realized I was most likely going to stay in Washington, DC and write about politics forever and ever and ever, I decided to abandon my New York sports heritage and adopt DC’s teams. I know it’s a minority view, but I don’t think it makes sense to let the dead hand of where you happened to spend the first 18 years of your life dictate behavior for decades and decades going forward. And even though the Giants won a Super Bowl since I abandoned them and the Redskins don’t look very good this season, I stand by that decision-making.” – Matt Yglesias
WTF? Obama moved to DC for work too and you don’t see him dropping the Bears. I thought you might be interested in calling Matt (who I like) a fuckup.
Having to be a Redskins fan might be fitting punishment for being such a retarded fan, though I’ll wish some added physical suffering to truly send the message home.
Guh, that’s so typical of all the political sphere douches in this town. “I shouldn’t let lifelong attachments to things that I love get in the way of my careerism! Not when I need to be able to have easy ways to connect to sources here in town. Uh, go Clinton Portman!”
Tags: Bill Belichick, dislexy rexy, mumblemumblemumblemumble, ocho cinco, open thread, rex ryan: greatest coach ever
September 20th, 2009 at 10:23 am
and the Dirty Chimichanga will be pulling out right before game time, as usual
September 20th, 2009 at 10:50 am
i keep seeing the MNF commercial where tirico says “peyton’s aerial attack” and i can’t stop hearing “areola tack”. sounds painful…
September 20th, 2009 at 10:55 am
Matt Yglesias is just jumping on the Skin’s bandwagon. Will someone in the DC area please hit him with Ape’s book? Thank you.
September 20th, 2009 at 11:10 am
I happened to stumble onto the ‘Fans By State’ leaderboard on Yah00’s salary cap footbaw this morning. DC fans were dead last, 52nd place, right behind Vermont…really. ‘Fans from Other’ was 15th so fuck every state after them in the goat ass!
September 20th, 2009 at 11:23 am
http://football.fantasysports.yahoo.com/salcap/group/100/fansvsfans?type=S
Link fail?
September 20th, 2009 at 11:50 am
WELKAHHHHHHH is OUT, which makes me smile
September 20th, 2009 at 11:51 am
WELKAAAAAAAAAAAAH is inactive today. He showed some true grit trying to play today, though.
September 20th, 2009 at 11:51 am
@Not Your Fwiend, Guy
Damn you.
/shakes fist
September 20th, 2009 at 11:54 am
God if the Jets can just keep winning this Rex character will stick forever. Please keep winning Jets. (On the other hand, Browns fans will be rabid about not getting Sanchez). Maybe I should pull for the MILF hunter today afterall.
September 20th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
Can’t believe we missed the Twitter fight between Ocho and the Packers.
Carboat pic FTW though.
September 20th, 2009 at 12:50 pm
all the guy over on Fox tried copying Berman’s “Raidaaahhhhss”. I’m now ready to punch a kitten.
September 20th, 2009 at 1:02 pm
Let’s go PATS!
September 20th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
No WELKAH? CANCEL THE GAME!
September 20th, 2009 at 1:10 pm
Breesus with his first TD — beating Asante Samuel. Let it begin raining.
September 20th, 2009 at 1:15 pm
bwahahahahaha Damien Woody. That’s why they cut your fat, lazy ass. First Jets drive? FAIL.
September 20th, 2009 at 1:23 pm
Oh how it rains in the Meadowlands!!! fumble, Jets.
September 20th, 2009 at 1:23 pm
oh, wait, he’s down.
September 20th, 2009 at 1:38 pm
How long until they let Favre start cumslingin?
Lions are stacking the box to stop purple jesus
September 20th, 2009 at 1:39 pm
Aaron Kampman just tackled a ref
September 20th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
Jets have 13 total yards. awesome.
September 20th, 2009 at 1:47 pm
Breesus and the Saints 10 – Kolb and the Wildcat-crazy Iggles 7.
So far, not the offensive fest that was advertised.
September 20th, 2009 at 1:51 pm
Welka—I mean, Edelman! He’s scrappy!
September 20th, 2009 at 1:51 pm
Edelman trying to be Welkah is bad news for the Jets so far.
September 20th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
Denis Leary would like to know if Edelman is a jew.
September 20th, 2009 at 1:58 pm
Michael Turner has been a bust so far
September 20th, 2009 at 2:05 pm
Gostkowski has more points the Purple Jesus today. FIX YO DIVINITY!
September 20th, 2009 at 2:09 pm
nightmarefuelnightmarefuelnightmarefuelnightmarefuelnightmarefuelnightmarefuelnightmarefuelnightmarefuelnightmarefuel: Please tell me someone was watching the Raiders/Chiefs game and saw the lady with rubberband braces with a Chiefs and Raiders doll on each hand?
September 20th, 2009 at 2:10 pm
Charles Woodson!!
September 20th, 2009 at 2:12 pm
Todd Haley is starting to look irritated right now.
September 20th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
Let’s go Lions! Struggle! Power to the people!
September 20th, 2009 at 2:18 pm
Jim Brewer looks great. His hair colorist hit the jackpot! what a dush.
September 20th, 2009 at 2:23 pm
Only the Bengals could convert a 3rd-and-34 with a fumble.
September 20th, 2009 at 2:26 pm
Breesus threads the needle and gives Marques Colston his 2nd TD. 17-10 before halftime.
September 20th, 2009 at 2:42 pm
THE DIRTY CHIMICHANGA with the first TD of the game!
September 20th, 2009 at 2:51 pm
Breesus – 3rd TD.
Philly may not run another kickoff this season.
September 20th, 2009 at 2:58 pm
Listening to Dan Dierdorf is making me much more dumberer
September 20th, 2009 at 3:01 pm
Saints 31 – Iggles 13. The Emoness will be huge.
September 20th, 2009 at 3:09 pm
Mark 4:17 in the 3rd quarter as the time the Philly fans turned on Kolb
September 20th, 2009 at 3:21 pm
Chad Eight-Five took himself out for one play, presumably so he could discuss the whole concept of interest on a savings account with Marvin Lewis. During his absence, we were informed that he an Ed Hochuli wear the same number. It’s like kismet or something.
September 20th, 2009 at 3:22 pm
I’d be even more pissed than I already am about Welker being out (thanks for the fucking warning, everybody in the world who is not me) if it weren’t for Andre’s ridunkulous performance thus far. 32 points with a full quarter still to go.
September 20th, 2009 at 3:22 pm
What the hell, Steve Slaton?
September 20th, 2009 at 3:24 pm
And Chad Eight-Five just did his “Lambeau Leep.” Hopefully, the cheeseheads “congratulating” him broke a few ribs. Certainly, a number of them apparently thought he was number one, although, in Green Bay they use the middle finger to indicate this.
September 20th, 2009 at 3:31 pm
So much hate for the Pats’ D. get off the field.
September 20th, 2009 at 3:31 pm
Is something wrong with Jennings, why does that mofo have a big fat 0 in everything?????
September 20th, 2009 at 3:43 pm
J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS
September 20th, 2009 at 3:44 pm
Ochocinco’s Lambeau leap screen grab:
http://twitpic.com/ihelt
September 20th, 2009 at 3:55 pm
GDit Green Bay, I am going to be out of the SUICIDE POOL if you don’t get off the schneid and get this done.
September 20th, 2009 at 3:59 pm
@DBM, apparently, he’s got some kind of fucking wrist injury.
September 20th, 2009 at 4:00 pm
Damn the Saints O looks good. Hope they have a case of suckitude by Dec. 19!
/rechecks Cowboys sched
Yep got the date right, Dec. 19 in the SuSu Dome. Don’t ya love Saturday NFL games?
September 20th, 2009 at 4:08 pm
Mark Sanchez needs to blow his entire defensive line. They’re making him look like the new Matt Ryan.
September 20th, 2009 at 4:08 pm
Damnit DirectV, my local CBS affiliate is running the end of the New England-New York game before the switch to the Pittsburgh-Chicago game. I’m missing the start of the Steelers game. Switch over channel 715. I paid good money for this, you shits.
September 20th, 2009 at 4:10 pm
Were goin pussy tubeing!
September 20th, 2009 at 4:11 pm
Slothrop that was painful. And ugly. And I still hate the Jets.
September 20th, 2009 at 4:14 pm
Wow they fucking did it. Rex Ryan and Mark Sanchez’s Hall of Fame speeches are now set on my TiVo.
September 20th, 2009 at 4:14 pm
Steaks and Blowjobsssss for everyoneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, count me in, i am more happy for the Jets win than the asswhoopin my team just gave the emo eagles.
September 20th, 2009 at 4:16 pm
@Boatdrinks: Have you seen Randy Moss? If so, please text Tyler Hansborough. He’ll find him and bring him home. Jesus, what a joke the Pats’ OLine is.
September 20th, 2009 at 4:17 pm
Note to self: avoid listening to Greenberg and Golic tomorrow morning at all costs. Tear radio out of car if necessary.
September 20th, 2009 at 4:19 pm
Pickeration by the Saints. 48-22
The cheering for Michael Vick starts in less than a minute.
September 20th, 2009 at 4:20 pm
Slothrop: I saw him NOT use his height and extension as 24 intercepted right in front of him. That is all.
And why does Polamulu play with his locks flowing in the wind, and watch on the sidelines with them pulled back???
September 20th, 2009 at 4:25 pm
@Boatdrinks: yeah, that was a bad play. Even Dierdorf noticed.
September 20th, 2009 at 4:34 pm
/going to be fucking drunk by 11:00am for me with fucking the 49ers running a 10 point lead.
//throws bottles at the TV’s
///gets 86′d from bar
September 20th, 2009 at 5:12 pm
Thanks to Breesus i am once again obliterating in fantasy.
September 20th, 2009 at 6:18 pm
LOL @ calling the best corner in the NFL (or at least Top 3) “24″. Way to know the league.
LOL even harder @ the impending Tawmmy post after Brady once again showed he’s an average QB once you hit him a few times.
September 20th, 2009 at 7:50 pm
So Rex Ryan just locked up Coach of the Year, right?
And Dirty Chimichanga has a bead on offensive ROY for sure.
that was beautiful.
Almost as beautiful as the Texans out-gunning the Titans. Schaub + Andre Johnson = fantasy gold today.
September 20th, 2009 at 11:11 pm
What an abortion of a performance that Pats game was.
What happened to our O-line…did they suddenly lose their eyesight and start spinning around in circles hoping they knocked a blitzer off course?
I was impressed with Sanchez though and Revis had a spectacular game. I’ll give credit where credit is due, the goddamn Jets played great.
September 21st, 2009 at 5:21 am
Since this is an open thread, here’s an SI piece by Peter King from 1991 I came across by chance:
When Eric Dickerson walked into the Indianapolis Colts’ training camp on July 18, even those who knew him best did a double take. What a specimen! In a tank top, Dickerson’s upper body appeared to be chiseled out of marble, and his legs looked like steel pistons.
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/vault/article/magazine/MAG1139918/index.htm
September 21st, 2009 at 5:25 am
Curious how much Favre fellating we’ll have to deal with now that he made it to 271.