Are You Ready for Live Blogged Blowoutkkake (Two Times)?
Our regularly scheduled Monday night live blogification returns, with us streaming to you live vulgarities and inappropriate jokes to bolster your viewing experience of what will undoubtedly be two massive blowouts between divisional foes. First up, you might have seen it scrawled on Bill Simmons’ masturbation journal that the Dreamboat is back (we can’t confirm Simmons’ report that his dick is even tastier now) and Brady’s bringing cuddles (and even more kids!) with him. This should be a doozy. How ever will a Patriots defense gutted of old useless automatons like Mike Vrabel, Tedy Bruschi, Rodney Harrison (who’s still talking trash about Patriots opponents even though he’s a studio analyst now) and Richard Seymour manage to stifle a supersimplified Bills offensive strategy devised by Alex Van Pelt? Surely they cannot hope to try. Lay down your arms, fellas.
Our latter Mike & Mike narrated lop-sided contest features King Philip the Laserfaced GOING ALL PHILIP RIVERS on the Tom Cable’s band of overweight quarterbacks and savagely beaten coaching staff in Raidervania. Will Tila Tequila follow up on her promise to get all the battered women of the world to show up and protest (only to be raped again by Raiders fans)? Let’s hope so!
Tags: awful rapey, greatriots, ksk live blogkakke of the week, Live Blogification, marmalard, xmas ape
September 14th, 2009 at 5:23 pm
I’ll be pissed if Tom Cable doesn’t punch somebodaaaayyyyy.
September 14th, 2009 at 5:23 pm
That last line had me dying. Fucking great
September 14th, 2009 at 5:43 pm
I’m a Raiders fan who picked San Diego in the Suicide Pool. Does this make me a Traiterous Bitch or just a sad, sad realist?
September 14th, 2009 at 5:45 pm
Or, a traitorous bitch who can’t spell?
September 14th, 2009 at 5:46 pm
HUH? WHAT??? FUCK YOU!
September 14th, 2009 at 5:51 pm
This afternoon might be a new lesson in patience as I find out how many Pats fans are visiting my island this week and my trying not to horribly choke them. If this bar I plan on going to has WiFi, I’ll share as I get drunk and choke-y.
September 14th, 2009 at 6:02 pm
It’s safe to assume there will be a one hour pause at 10 so we can all watch Leno, right? I think I read in the papers that’s what time it’s on.
September 14th, 2009 at 6:21 pm
@Pemulis: Leno has a new show? I had no idea.
September 14th, 2009 at 6:25 pm
Pirate Sloth – Chai please, you didn’t kill any of the Pittsburgh fans last Thursday.
PITTSBURGH FANS!
September 14th, 2009 at 6:47 pm
He realizes the next step in natural progression of obnoxiousness is Pats fans.
NO ONE DENIES THIS!
September 14th, 2009 at 6:53 pm
Smello,
You are not a Raiders fan. I would slice my dick off with a rusty butterknife before I picked the marmalards.
September 14th, 2009 at 7:39 pm
Tawmmy says the Pats’ throwbacks are THE GREATEST UNIFAWWMS EVAAAH!!!!
September 14th, 2009 at 8:20 pm
Brady, what in the BLUE HELL are you doing?!
September 14th, 2009 at 9:15 pm
Good to see Bellicheat broke out some new hot expensive threads for the occasion.
September 14th, 2009 at 10:04 pm
Dick Jauron should fire himself. Up 10 points, and goes soft cover who and rushes only 4. What a dick!
September 14th, 2009 at 10:14 pm
FUCKING BUFFALO
September 14th, 2009 at 10:27 pm
Well, will it really be that bad when they move to Los Angeles?
Frankly, I can see an upside to it.
September 15th, 2009 at 12:15 am
Why don’t you guys have a .gif tag yet?
September 15th, 2009 at 2:01 am
Not that you take requests, but I REALLY REALLY hope the return of Gay Zorro is in the future.
September 15th, 2009 at 3:12 am
Ok, so there better be a Tommy from Quinzee post in addition to a new Marmalard post tomorrow because of what happened tonight.
September 15th, 2009 at 8:36 am
it’d be nice if Jauron had a pulse at least, like, when he pisses away another MNF win, at least we should get a “they are who we thought they were” style rant after the game. he barely registers as an animate object during the games….
September 15th, 2009 at 8:54 am
He went to Yale! He had one winning season in Chicago! He deserved that extension!
September 15th, 2009 at 8:56 am
Whew, I was sweating my NE suicide pool pick for a minute there. Then I remembered the Bills are the Bills. TORONTO YOU WILL INHERIT ONE OF THE PREMIERE FRANCHISES IN ALL OF SPORTS!
September 15th, 2009 at 9:39 am
fire Jauron, promote Pill to head coach….. can’t be any worse.
@rocco, maybe we’ll get a new KSKharacter out of it.
NO-ONE CIRCLES THE WAGONS LIKE TORONTO ROGERS FANS, EH!
September 15th, 2009 at 9:54 am
wake up and post something you FACKS!
September 15th, 2009 at 10:00 am
@jon: That’s kinda funny. But I don’t think Tommy is up yet. He probably had a late night drinking Twisted Tea and celebrating such an epic comeback.
September 16th, 2009 at 1:06 am
@AndreReedRichards
Hey, California may be billions of dollars in debt, but at least there’s nice weather in LA. As someone who grew up in western NY, I can safely say that winter in Buffalo is truly a fate worse than death.