Do it. And let the English see ya do it. Email us your sex and fantasy football questions for tomorrow’s mailbag.
Pointless reminiscing: When I was in college, a group of us would have heated debates about who was the better woman in Braveheart: Murron the peasant wife or Princess Isabelle. Lots of talk about true love versus wealth and status. I’m not sure if the princess got points for putting out before marriage; I don’t even remember who I sided with. Probably Murron because she showed her boobs. That sounds like a stance I would take.
Tags: Mailbag Reminders
September 9th, 2009 at 12:45 pm
There was a love interest in Braveheart, I didn’t notice. I was too busy watching all the ass kicking. However, I vote for Murron. It looks like she would less of a pain in the ass, plus I bet she cooked and cleaned.
September 9th, 2009 at 12:48 pm
F that, gimme the kinky, rich French chick anytime. She even offered WW drugs.
September 9th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
Oh yeah, I’m going for the money, the accent and the frenchness.
September 9th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
The princess’ friend was the hottest. By far. And she put out on the regular.
September 9th, 2009 at 12:53 pm
Sophie Marceau in a heartbeat (which is coincidentally about as long as I’d last).
September 9th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
I’m going with Murron. She’s hotter even despite the inferior hygiene. Plus, no embarrassing rom-com with David Spade.
September 9th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
Take the princess – for the vag-hygiene product access alone.
September 9th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
I kinda liked the Irish guy ( like a younger Larry Mullen Jr)
/No Homo
September 9th, 2009 at 1:00 pm
Matt’s right on. Can’t really go wrong with either of the 3. Hot village girl, hot princess, or hot servant.
September 9th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
I’m kinda surprised no one has suggested the obvious: why choose, get those two together and let the magic happen.
I mean, as long as we’re talking about stuff that will never happen anyway, go ahead and go for the gusto.
September 9th, 2009 at 1:11 pm
Got to be the village girl–I’m not taking Longshanks’ son’s sloppy seconds. Oh, wait…
September 9th, 2009 at 1:12 pm
Murron’s the girl you marry, can take home to mom. The princess is the chick you bang on Spring Break, and do kinky shit they barely have names for, and then use as fantasy fodder for the rest of your life.
September 9th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
Gordon is right on. Except that now Murron is fulfilling my fantasy. Damn! Won’t be able to get any more work done today. What a shame!
September 9th, 2009 at 1:21 pm
Murron’s a dead fuck….
September 9th, 2009 at 1:25 pm
Matt is right, the servant was far-and-away the hottest of the group.
September 9th, 2009 at 1:25 pm
Gordon couldn’t be more wrong. You marry the hot chick with unspeakable wealth and power, and fuck the hot peasant on spring break.
September 9th, 2009 at 1:40 pm
Can’t agree metsfan. When you marry the hot chick with wealth and power, you end up the hen-pecked, yes dear, anything you want dear totally beaten down kind of guy with a limp dick for good measure.
/Not tonight. I have to entertain Sir Duke Fukalot and friends.
September 9th, 2009 at 1:42 pm
The fact that Isabella of France was ten years old when William Wallace was executed takes jailbait to new heights (lows?), even for this site.
September 9th, 2009 at 1:55 pm
What about the chick that got offered up for prima nocta (sp?) at the beginning of the movie? Sure, I was having some fun throwing rocks with my buffoon ginger of a buddy, but ain’t no sloppy seconds like a king’s sloppy seconds, right?
/shows self out
September 9th, 2009 at 2:07 pm
With Murron you get the added pleasure of necro-stoma fucking.
I also agree with Matt. I’d bang the snot out of the Princess’ Lady in Waiting.
September 9th, 2009 at 2:18 pm
Prima nocta indeed. I’ll say it, I pulled for Longshanks.
September 9th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
The fact that Isabella of France was ten years old when William Wallace was executed takes jailbait to new heights (lows?), even for this site.
Wow, and here I thought Braveheart was a factually accurate historical account, rather than a mostly fictional tale about killing people and banging princesses.
September 9th, 2009 at 2:55 pm
I’ll take Murron every time. She’s a sexy, fiery Scotswoman who accepts poverty, violence and alcoholism as the norm. The real life Isabella, on the other hand, slept with every English nobleman who liked girls (which is still actually a lot of guys) and conspired to have her husband Edward II killed.
Also, the Scottish brogue is sexier than the French accent any day.
September 9th, 2009 at 3:26 pm
Ill take that little hot piece of french snatch Sophie Marceau any day of the week. Smoking hot !
Hey look if she gets to be a pain in the ass just jump on your horse and go ride over to York or some other town. Back in those days it took weeks just to get a message through. They didn’t even have carrier pidgeons for Chrissakes !
Those were the days boy. Ok so you had to put up with your occasional Plague or Leprosy but it was a small price to pay compared to being henpecked by some nagging bitch all day via email, cellphone, blackberry or what have you.
September 9th, 2009 at 3:48 pm
What’s all this about being hen pecked? Back then you could smack around a ho anytime she gets uppity.
September 9th, 2009 at 4:18 pm
@ twerp
Ahhh. Very true.
September 9th, 2009 at 4:39 pm
Maybe I really am the last 30-something male in America who hasn’t seen that movie.
/not gay
/seriously, I’m not
September 9th, 2009 at 5:35 pm
@ GoesTo11: seriously, you are. FIX YO NETFLIX!
/FREEDOM!
/sad falling hanky
September 9th, 2009 at 6:48 pm
@EDinCali: oh man, damn near a fetish trifecta.
September 9th, 2009 at 8:22 pm
goesTo11,
See it man ! Uncut. The war scenes are among the best and most rousing ever.
/no homo.
September 9th, 2009 at 8:53 pm
Money > Boobs
September 10th, 2009 at 9:44 am
@dick gozinia — true, but:
(Low Expectations + good boobs) > Money > Boobs
September 11th, 2009 at 10:45 am
Murron’s my pick. Peasant wife = bang maid. Perfect set up.
September 11th, 2009 at 12:20 pm
Isabella not only had her husband killed, she had it done by having his insides hollowed out with a hot poker inserted into his anus. Probably means she brings teh crazy for some extremely hot sex, but stay far away from marriage with someone like that.