EVEN MORE OVERLONG COLUMNS ABOUT FOOTBALL! Today saw the debut of “The Designed Rush“, my weekly NFL column at The Sporting Blog, which will run each Tuesday. And while I get to beat Drew to “press” each week (only because Mrs. Drew takes until Wednesday to get around to cleaning the caked-on bacon paste off her husband’s typing wand) he gets to do things like Nazi Shark at Deadspin (who, by the way, just adored this video). Me? At the more stodgy TSB, I can only get away with the Khmer Rouge Raptors* (Asian and a raptor! Double the evil genius! Also works in packs! For cheap!).
Also, a reminder that my D.C. reception and reading for my book is at 18th Amendment on Capitol Hill from 5:30-7:30 p.m. on Thursday. The reading will be closer to 7, so don’t feel obligated to show up early and awkwardly hang around with me and my friends and family. Afterward, we’ll head three blocks down the street to watch the season opener.
*May not actually exist
Tags: more drains on your time, never picks the Steelers in preseason predictions, Programming Notes, whoring, xmas ape
September 8th, 2009 at 8:50 pm
I am currently enjoying the book, having randomly found it in an arkansas bookstore.
September 8th, 2009 at 9:33 pm
@Sex Cannon and the City- too easy for the arkansas bookstore joke.
Way to make TSN go down Ape, now how are we supposed to get our Khamer Rouge Raptor fix
September 8th, 2009 at 9:53 pm
I’m so there if I’m still in the area. And it looks like I’m going to be stuck here for fucking ever. $300 to rent a car from DC to Rochester? FUCK ME.
September 8th, 2009 at 9:53 pm
Deadspin, on the other hand, hated this Hitler-related video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEXEByJVaO0
September 8th, 2009 at 10:08 pm
The Chargers? ….Really?
….Ape?
September 8th, 2009 at 10:50 pm
only because Mrs. Drew takes until Wednesday to get around to cleaning the caked-on bacon paste off her husband’s typing wand
Shows what you know Ape; like the rest of the morbidly-obese, Drew has upgraded from the typing wand to voice-activate typing software. It still takes Drew until Wednesday to fully write a new article, however, because there are only so many seconds in the day that his mouth isn’t full of cake.
September 8th, 2009 at 11:00 pm
Wait so was drew serious that you’re not from Pittsburgh
September 8th, 2009 at 11:21 pm
Yes, he was serious. I was born in Pennsylvania but I’ve lived the majority of my life in the D.C. area. I was already a Steelers fan when I moved here. Whether that’s enough for you or not, well whatever.
But also consider…
Not from Oakland: flubby
Only lived in Seattle or Minnesota for a short span of their lives: Ufford and Drew
Possibly from but not living now in the market of the team they root for: Punter
In fact, the only one of us that both lives in and was raised in the city of the team they root for is Kogod.
But my team is winning titles so I get shit for it.
September 9th, 2009 at 12:19 am
But my team is winning titles so I get shit for it.
this can only be rectified by half-heartedly burning more terrible towels.
September 9th, 2009 at 12:30 am
When I told Drew that I was a Redskins fan he wrote in my book that they “fackin sack”. Will you be nicer?
What I’m trying to say is, I enjoy being abused.
September 9th, 2009 at 2:03 am
Someone has to show up at the 18th Amendment as early as possible in ass-less chaps and hit relentlessly on Ape. I would do it, but I’m in Chicago, there’s no fucking way I can make it.
September 9th, 2009 at 2:34 am
Sports Nomad, here. I was raised everywhere. I got my early NFL chops on the local CBS feed which included the 49′rs, Chargers and Rams, Raiders were an afterthought but when I decided on my team, I saw this one team that didn’t have heaters on the side-lines, didn’t allow the players to wear gloves. They wore black shoes during the era that favored those wearing the white shoes. This team breathed cold vapor and took no prisoners. I was raised on a military base in Southern California but immediately, I became a fan of the Vikings. Page, Eller, Marshall, Larson. It isn’t always about the geographical location. It was about a team that could stop you in your tracks. Send you back the other direction. You see?
September 9th, 2009 at 4:18 am
I guess in some alternate KSK universe the Redskins have a great defense and San Diego has a chance in hell of winning the Super Bowl.
September 9th, 2009 at 6:26 am
Ape, you better watch out. I think your Marmalard alter-ego is taking over your subconscious. Picking him for Super Bowl MVP? I’m surprised you didn’t sign off the article with, “WHAT? HUH? WHAT? FUCK YOU!”
September 9th, 2009 at 8:03 am
Dammit Ape, I picked Houston to win the South and Marmalard for MVP as well. At least when I’m horribly wrong, there’ll be someone in more widespread media who’ll be just as wrong with me.
September 9th, 2009 at 8:45 am
I guess in some alternate KSK universe the Redskins have a great defense
They were the 4th ranked D in the NFL last year and they just added one of the most dominant D-linemen in the game in the offseason.
September 9th, 2009 at 9:57 am
It was about a team that could stop you in your tracks. Send you back the other direction. You see?
You want to have sex with the Vikings?
September 9th, 2009 at 11:24 am
Tough day to pick Ape, the Penguins are going to be at the White House with the Prez:
http://www.nhl.com/ice/news.htm?id=497748&cmpid=rss-News%20in%20English
What is a Pittsburgher to do?
September 10th, 2009 at 1:56 am
I’m torn by the possibility of Marmalard winning MVP, on the one hand we would have to hear even more MSM cockslobbering over that douchenozzle, on the other hand the Marmalard posts would be three shades of awesome.