A neckbeard-less Neckbeard made his first appearance in a Broncos uniform Saturday Friday and marked the occasion with three particularly ugly interceptions in one half of action against the 49ers. And Seahawks fans continue lustily salivating over their all-too-easily acquired no. 1 pick in next year’s draft.
/it’s funny because Jay Cutler was only marginally better in his debut with the Bears.
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He reminds me of Elway, don’t see what all the Bronco fans are bitching about. Spitting image.
I believe that I speak for all Bronco’s fans with this small bit of wisdom:
FUCK!
MY!
LIFE!
McDaniels is going in – week 5 at the latest
Walter Sobchack: “i understand that human beings are irrational beings. but the thought that ANYONE who calls themself a Broncos fan would think that Kyle Orton would deliver anything positive is beyond comprehension. i’m a packer fan and had the pleasure of seeing orton play often. prepare to get owned in every way possible. it is going to be one of those feelings like when you get kicked in the balls and you feel like you’re going to puke, but you don’t…you just roll over and rock yourself in the fetal position.”
Kyle Orton vs. Green Bay Packers:
12/07/2005: Win, 19-7
12/23/2007: Win, 35-7
11/16/2008: Loss, 3-37
12/22/2008: Win, 20-17
Kyle Orton played like absolute garbage in those games against the Packers…and yet, 3 out of 4 times it was the Pack who got “owned in every way possible”.
Also, the two seasons that Kyle Orton was the Bears’ starting QB (2005 and 2008) the Bears finished far, far ahead of the Packers in the standings.
And the cherry on the sundae: Kyle Orton’s career record as a starting QB: 20-11.
Conclusion: Epic fail.
Yes. Kill me.
Every year people think that preseason has any credible power of prediction. It’s almost too easy to point out that Detroit went 4-0 last preseason. Preseason doesn’t mean jack shit.
The final score of preseason games doesn’t mean anything, but the play of individual players can be a decent barometer of how they’re gonna start the year.
Grr, predicTION.
Every year people think that preseason has any credible power of prediciton. It’s almost too easy to point out that Detroit went 4-0 last preseason. Preseason doesn’t mean jack shit.
/doesn’t mean Orton and Cutler won’t suck, just that there is no real evidence that they will.
Did Ape seriously just compare Neckbeard and Cutlerfucker?
Uh… While keeping in mind that Cutler had far better receivers, look at their numbers from last year.
Did Ape seriously just compare Neckbeard and Cutlerfucker?
No, I just said Cutler didn’t exactly set the world on fire in his preseason debut either.
Yeah…I really don’t see how denver thought this trade was a good idea.
I also look forward to watching a mediocre team, implode. Maybe they will bring TO over at the trade deadline, he could set a record destroying two franchises in one year.
Both Buffallo and Denver should make sure they have adequate pill supllies so TO can actually kill himself and spare us all from that awful show of his.
Orton: Well, Josh McDaniels kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace “accidentally” with “repeatedly,” and replace “dog” with “son.”
@ Otto Man
Das ist schön und hilarious
Did Ape seriously just compare Neckbeard and Cutlerfucker?
//Thinks Ape inhaled too many terrible towel fumes
What is Marmalard’s nickname for Orton going to be??? I can only wait
//crossing fingers for Mount McBingely or Whoreton
As a Chiefs fan, all I can say is that schadenfreude is the new Schottenheimer.
i understand that human beings are irrational beings. but the thought that ANYONE who calls themself a Broncos fan would think that Kyle Orton would deliver anything positive is beyond comprehension. i’m a packer fan and had the pleasure of seeing orton play often. prepare to get owned in every way possible. it is going to be one of those feelings like when you get kicked in the balls and you feel like you’re going to puke, but you don’t…you just roll over and rock yourself in the fetal position.
The player’s union had a fit when they looked at the proposed terms of Neckbeard’s contract:
-paid $8 a night
-may eat 2 popsicles
-allowed to keep the old bird cage he brought to the negotiations
holy smokes am I glad that BDD is coming back from vacation on the day PK tells us he killed a deer. I only hope he gave the carcass to BrittFarr to put in Childress’ desk when he comes back.
/was also on vacation. true liver damage. lofty liver damage.
//no one cares, I know.
quarterbacks on contingency? no! money down!
This is going to be the greatest unplanned implosion since 9/11.
/Looks around with hand in air for someone to high five
Too soon?
Neckbeard: I thought you left a bottle of Jack in the locker room. I can’t find it.
Cutlerfucker: It’s on top of Brandon’s locker, way in back.
Neckbeard: Brandon, where’s Cutlerfucker’s bottle of Jack?
Brandon: Oh, that. I beat my girlfriend over the head with it. It sort of broke.
Neckbeard: I hate Denver!
Cutler is a franchise quarterback? Did I miss a memo or something ?
As to Philip Rivers’ mortar-esque throws, no, they’ll still look like skeet.
God Bless the Denver Broncos!
Dear Josh and Neckbeard,
Thank you in advance. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I love you!
I wana have you’re little neckbearded babies. Best draft pick ever! Matt replacement here we come!
Go Hawks.
P.S. Cutlerfucker I love you too. Thanks for the dumdassery!
AH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Also: I thought it was Friday night.
Actually the Seahawks are undefeated time now, how’s your team doing?
The Josh Mc Daniels era will last just as long as it takes Pat Bowlen to eat a mile of Mike Shanahan’s shit.
When the Seahawks fuck up with next years #1, how long until they blame the refs, the league, the commissioner and the Steelers? (in that order)
Don’t they blame the media in there at some point too? Other than the East Coast bias I mean
When the Seahawks fuck up with next years #1, how long until they blame the refs, the league, the commissioner and the Steelers? (in that order)
Josh McDaniels: You are wearing a black and brown neckbeard in a half-windsor knot.
Kyle Orton: Oh, I am, am I? Is that what you think? Well if that’s what you think, I have something to tell you. Something which may shock and discredit you. And that thing is as follows. I’m not wearing a neckbeard at all.
/Seahawks just acquired Denver’s 2010 2nd round pick for 2 popsicles and an old bird cage.
Captions:
Goddamn Hangover
Why don’t these lasers work, damn you laserface!
Fuck! What team am I on? Fuck!
I can almost hear my fart over the boos.
/Ever notice that more busts come from picks in the top 10
//Last time Denver picked in the top 10 was 1991, and that isn’t about to change
Coach McD: Mr. Orton, why are you burning you jersey?
Neckbeard: As of now, Kyle Orton no longer exists. Say hello to Miguel Sanchez!
way i see it as a bears fan, we didnt have our main RB or our main TE in there. and its the bills, and if i learned anything from Ape’s commercial, OTHER than booktotheface, its that Buffalo sucks ass. So who cares if Cutler did bad against the Bills?
Bears fanned
Fuck me this is going to be a long season. I hope that Neckbeard is so bad this season that it absolutely destroys McDaniels future as a head coach and he ends up drawing up plays for a backwater HS team in Western Mass, talking about his days with the Patriots and wearing his rings like a douchebag.
oh bourbon, brownest of the brown liquors
Obviously the neckbeard was the source of his powers, and now that he’s been shorn of it like Samson, he’s become impotent.
@DavidtheUnderpantsGnome
The best part about that article is that everyone acknowledges it was a bad throw. So Hester’s bad play or not, Cutler was still at fault.
/doesn’t hate the Broncos, per se, but will gleefully watch that team implode this season
@Animal Mother
Between the Broncos, Raiders and Chiefs, that’s only 6 potential wins for the Chargers no matter how healthy, rapey and floaty they are.
Cutler is already blaming receivers for his bad throws
http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/football/bears/chi-17-haugh-bears-chicago-aug17,0,7533484.column
And the Chicago media is trying to say that you have to put up with that stuff when you have a franchise QB.
/Packers fan
//Possibly developing a man crush on Goth Aaron Rodgers
“This play is written on a cocktail napkin. And it still says interception. And interception is spelled wrong!”
Between the Broncos, Raiders and Chiefs, if the Chargers don’t win at least 11 or 12 games, then Norv deserves to get fired.
/Will LaToeInjury stay healthy this season?
//Will Norv return to his running ways?
///Will Merriman be able to rape his way thru the AFC like old?
////Will Marmalard be able to put any zip on his lofty floating hanging orbiting throws?
/Screaming into pillow
//Weeps silently
///Jerks off, to fell better
////Cums all over Elway-poster
Mr. Orton, are you aware that your not wearing pants?
I miss Cutler already. It won’t be the same without his whiney a$$.
Shoulda seen Nick Reed kick some ass in the Hawks’ first game. 2 sacks and a pick.