This Week’s KSK Commenter Draft: Candy Bar For Your Last Meal
I know a draft where earthly donuts are as sour as poison. You’d spit them out, you would!
When I went to summer camp back in the Great Depression or whenever the hell it was, we were allowed to buy a candy bar after lunch. Just one candy bar. The camp bought in bulk, so you only had a choice between two different bars on any given day. The rotation of the candy bars was completely random, so there was no pattern you could figure out where you knew in advance which candy bars were going to be offered. Oscar winners weren’t as well-protected as the identity of these candy bars.
I’m not exaggerating when I tell you that speculation over the day’s choice of candy bar consumed at least 80% of all morning conversations at the camp. The other 20%, naturally, were reserved for boobs. Games of HORSE were played before lunch with a candy bar at stake. If you won, you got yourself two candy bars, you lucky devil. But lose, and you are in HELL, forced to watch some other fuckface devour a Zagnut that could have been yours. Oh, the pain.
Once every session at camp, the counselors also took campers to the town of Eagle River, Wisconsin, where we could buy all the fucking candy we wanted and watch a movie (one year I got to see Tim Burton’s Batman, another year I got to see “Harry and the Hendersons” Raw fucking deal that year.) The sugar boners this trip caused were ungodly. Hordes of fifty to a hundred retarded young boys were unleashed on an unsuspecting town, buying every goddamn glucose-based product available. First you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women.
My kid gets fucking jazzed as shit for candy now, and that’s kind of a cool thing to witness. It’s just candy. But when you’re a kid, and no one lets you drink, or drive, or feel their tits, when you’re basically not allowed to do anything, a candy bar is pretty much orgasmic. Children get a raw deal in life.
So now you get to choose. Time to ask the little child in you which candy bar you’d eat if it was your last meal and you never got to have a candy bar again. Basically, any individually wrapped candy is fine by me. Doesn’t have to be in bar form. And if you wanna pick loose candy from the Candy Kitchen or whatever the fuck knock yourself out. Discontinued bars are also fine (oh, PB Max). No fictional candy bars though. Pick one kind of candy, then wait ten picks for the next selection. My pick? Crunchie.
Mmmm, British candy bars.
Tags: Big Daddy Drew, ksk commenter drafts, mmmm gummi venus
August 7th, 2009 at 9:01 am
Nutrageous
August 7th, 2009 at 9:03 am
Twix
August 7th, 2009 at 9:05 am
Snickers.
August 7th, 2009 at 9:06 am
Kit Kat
August 7th, 2009 at 9:06 am
Fifth Avenue.
August 7th, 2009 at 9:07 am
“The Braless Wonder” Sue Ellen Mischke. Oh, Henry!
http://img142.imagevenue.com/loc594/th_64819_1_122_594lo.jpg
August 7th, 2009 at 9:09 am
“Peter King Says:
August 7th, 2009 at 9:06 am
Kit Kat”
Well played, sir.
I’ll take Butterfinger.
August 7th, 2009 at 9:10 am
Payday
August 7th, 2009 at 9:10 am
Big Turk
August 7th, 2009 at 9:11 am
Skor
August 7th, 2009 at 9:12 am
Shit. I wanted Twix.
Heath.
August 7th, 2009 at 9:14 am
Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups
/technicality
//run on peanut butter
August 7th, 2009 at 9:15 am
British candy bars? Do they still make ‘Double Deckers’?
I have a double decker jones.
/does that sound dirty?
August 7th, 2009 at 9:16 am
Whatchamacallit.
Preferably as desert to a Whataburger.
August 7th, 2009 at 9:17 am
Abba Zaba, you my only friend.
August 7th, 2009 at 9:20 am
Rolos
August 7th, 2009 at 9:22 am
BUTTERFINGER
August 7th, 2009 at 9:22 am
@Fozzie: Shit I knew it was too good to be true that Butterfinger had fallen that far.
August 7th, 2009 at 9:24 am
Mars bar… not the fake snickers version
August 7th, 2009 at 9:24 am
Sky Bar….taste the the international rainbow…chocolate (black), marshmellow (white), carmel(latino), and peanut butter (asian)
August 7th, 2009 at 9:25 am
I’ll settle with a Nestle Crunch
August 7th, 2009 at 9:25 am
Toblerone. Steal of the draft!
August 7th, 2009 at 9:25 am
100 Grand
August 7th, 2009 at 9:26 am
White chocolate Reese’s Peanut butter cups.
August 7th, 2009 at 9:27 am
I guess regular Hershey Milk Chocolate, no fucking almonds.
I really wanted Watchamacallit
August 7th, 2009 at 9:29 am
baby ruth. yes please
August 7th, 2009 at 9:32 am
can I go on a technicality and select Little Debbie Nutty Bars?
August 7th, 2009 at 9:32 am
This draft was over with the first pick. Nutrageous is far and away the best candy bar on the planet bar none.
Anyway, Reese’s Fast Break is my pick. So much better than the mere peanut butter cup.
August 7th, 2009 at 9:34 am
Lion Bar. I horded like 40 of these to bring back home from England, and guarded them like the bank dude guarded his Nazi ties in Inside Man. I had a plan to eat one a week, to make them last. They were gone in a month.
August 7th, 2009 at 9:35 am
Dove dark chocolate bite size.
August 7th, 2009 at 9:36 am
Even the good British ones are taken.
Ah, fuck it– gimme a Yorkie.
August 7th, 2009 at 9:39 am
M&M’s peanut version… why not?
August 7th, 2009 at 9:40 am
Ritter Sport Alpenmilch. Oh Germans you know how to make chocolate.
August 7th, 2009 at 9:40 am
Ritter Sport Butter Biscuit.
August 7th, 2009 at 9:41 am
milky way. i feel that’s a strong value pick
August 7th, 2009 at 9:41 am
Sno Caps. Preferably with a big fountain Coke and a tub of buttered movie popcorn.
And yes, I know that I am the only person left in America that eats Sno Caps.
August 7th, 2009 at 9:41 am
Peppermint Patties
August 7th, 2009 at 9:42 am
Peanut Butter Twix
August 7th, 2009 at 9:44 am
Caramello, King Size. Fuck and yes.
August 7th, 2009 at 9:44 am
Lindt Excel 70% cocoa. wtf.
August 7th, 2009 at 9:45 am
Krackel, the Hershey version of the Crunch Bar
August 7th, 2009 at 9:46 am
Gotta Be Buncha Crunch. Not the Crunch Bar, but Buncha Crunch. Fuck your rules
August 7th, 2009 at 9:49 am
Laffy Taffy
August 7th, 2009 at 9:49 am
mr goodbar.
August 7th, 2009 at 9:49 am
Say it with me:
“Baaaaaaabeeeeee Ruuuttthhhh!”
August 7th, 2009 at 9:50 am
Milk Duds
August 7th, 2009 at 9:50 am
Hershey’s Special Dark. So. Fucking. Good.
August 7th, 2009 at 9:50 am
Almond Joy
August 7th, 2009 at 9:51 am
Take 5 from Hershey’s. Best sundae, Take 5 sundae at Chocolate World. Pure gluttony, lofty candy
August 7th, 2009 at 9:52 am
Dark Chocolate M & Ms
August 7th, 2009 at 9:52 am
Whoppers, nothing like tasty chocolate balls in your mouth.
Oh wait, shit, um, you know what I mean, oh well…
August 7th, 2009 at 9:53 am
Because all the good chocolate candy is taken….I’ll go with Fun Dip that shit is legit.
August 7th, 2009 at 9:53 am
Big ups to Westbrook Is MAD – Nutrageous is the greatest foodstuff created in the past hundred years. It grinds my gears that Al Gore has a Nobel Prize and the guy who invented Nutrageous toils in obscurity.
August 7th, 2009 at 9:56 am
The old-style Sweetarts. They came 3 to a pack. About 1.5″ across and 1/4″ thick. Perfect for an hour of sugary bliss.
August 7th, 2009 at 9:57 am
amen to the caromello….great pick….the carmel tastes likes its derived from Jesus’s semen
August 7th, 2009 at 9:58 am
I’ll settle with the Hershey with almonds and be happy with it…
August 7th, 2009 at 10:02 am
Thank you, thank you everyone!
I’ll continue my run on PB with Reese’s Whipps.
August 7th, 2009 at 10:03 am
This.
http://www.vosgeschocolate.com/product/bacon_exotic_candy_bar/
/fat fuck
August 7th, 2009 at 10:05 am
Godiva truffles.
/no homo
August 7th, 2009 at 10:06 am
Reese’s Pieces. Crack in a little candy shell.
August 7th, 2009 at 10:07 am
Fred Smoot’s SMACK Energy Bar. Officially not candy BUT it’s from Fred Smoot. And that’s all sorts of win.
August 7th, 2009 at 10:07 am
Reese’s Pieces.
Yes.
August 7th, 2009 at 10:08 am
Skittles. I could eat that shit all day.
August 7th, 2009 at 10:09 am
Cadbury’s chocolate covered easter egg. The kind with the gooey inside with the fake yellow yolk. They send me into sugar shock once a year.
August 7th, 2009 at 10:09 am
Rocky-road, I loved those as a kid.
http://www.annabelle-candy.com/rockyroad/
August 7th, 2009 at 10:10 am
It would probably just be a Snickers. Pay Days are good as shit but I wouldn’t want something that salty as my last meal, since you didn’t specify if we could have drinks. Candy bars like Three Musketeers are nice but they’re so light and basically just liquid chocolate. You need shit that’s actually filling for it to be a great candy bar, which is why stuff like Twix and Reese’s Pieces aren’t as good (though Twix might be my #2). A Snickers is like a full meal.
August 7th, 2009 at 10:10 am
PB Max. FOOLS!
August 7th, 2009 at 10:12 am
If it’s my last one, make it a Marathon Bar
/dates himself
August 7th, 2009 at 10:14 am
Charleston Chew, the Big One, frozen.
/scraping the bottom of the barrel
//originally made in Charleston, MA. NO ONE DENIES!
August 7th, 2009 at 10:14 am
since my top 2 picks are taken (take 5 and 100 grand), i’ll say a frozen Zero bar
August 7th, 2009 at 10:16 am
Hershey’s Cookies and Cream
August 7th, 2009 at 10:16 am
Butterfinger Crisp. tastes like a Butterfinger but shit doesn’t get stuck in your teeth. well…. not as much shit.
August 7th, 2009 at 10:16 am
Since the Lion bar has already been picked, I can only vigorously attest to its awesomeness.
August 7th, 2009 at 10:17 am
As soon as I saw the title of the post I knew Drew wrote the post.
I’ll take a Snickers ice cream bar.
August 7th, 2009 at 10:17 am
Jujyfruit. And I win.
August 7th, 2009 at 10:19 am
Lindt Cayenne Pepper Chocolate. Crazy mayans knew what they were doing.
August 7th, 2009 at 10:21 am
I can’t believe JUNIOR MINTS are still on the board.
Drafted!
August 7th, 2009 at 10:22 am
I’ll take Toffifay – it’s “too good for kids.”
August 7th, 2009 at 10:23 am
Wonka Bar.
/I got a golden motherf–kin’ ticket!
August 7th, 2009 at 10:23 am
Chick-o-stick!
August 7th, 2009 at 10:25 am
Coffee Crisp
August 7th, 2009 at 10:26 am
Nerds…because I am one.
August 7th, 2009 at 10:26 am
damn you PF!
“Who’s gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It’s chocolate, it’s peppermint — it’s delicious!”
- Kramer, in “The Junior Mints”
August 7th, 2009 at 10:31 am
Damn skippy.
And I’m not sharing. It’s my last meal. Fuck all y’all.
August 7th, 2009 at 10:33 am
Pronk Bar…just to look at the wrapper and laugh. Oh Cleveland. You suck at life.
August 7th, 2009 at 10:37 am
Clark Bar
August 7th, 2009 at 10:41 am
Mounds
August 7th, 2009 at 10:43 am
Jelly Babies.
Mmmmm…beef gelatine…
August 7th, 2009 at 10:44 am
Klondike bar.
August 7th, 2009 at 10:44 am
This draft is more self-limiting than a broadcaster with tourettes.
August 7th, 2009 at 10:47 am
Chuckles. Except the black licorice one. That, along with Black Jack gum, can die in a fire.
August 7th, 2009 at 10:56 am
BDD takes the steal of the draft with a Milkyway late in the eighth round.
When I was a teenager I had a summer job where I would wax the floors at my old grade school with about 5 other guys around the same age. But every year they always tossed a new 8th grader with us cause his old man was on the welfare and his family need the money. Without fail the rookie would do something to piss us off and we would go to the store and pick up a Baby Ruth. On a hot summer day we would smear the melted chocolate and peanuts all over the seat of one of the toilets. Then we tell the Rook that some guy blew shit in one of the stalls and to go clean it up. When he started to clean we would mush his face into the seat and laugh while he screams in torment. I’d like to think we were the reason why there are guys out there who like to get a Cleveland Steamer, watch German Shizer videos, or have to pay a psychiatrist thousands a month because he’s a fecalpheliac.
Baby Ruth, not just for eating!
August 7th, 2009 at 10:57 am
Marathon Bar – was my fave at camp and sold at the cantina…sadly discontuinued..sniff, sniff..
August 7th, 2009 at 11:01 am
@T-Bone…
What a lovely story. And I already thought Baby Ruths were pretty disgusting. (Too hard to be considered “chewy”, too sticky to eat quickly, not even real chocolate for its “chocolate” coating, stale peanuts stabbing the roof or your mouth like a handful of dry Capn Crunch…bleah.)
August 7th, 2009 at 11:05 am
100 picks in and my favorite bar is still on the board:
3 Muskateers
Simple.Tasty.Lofty.
August 7th, 2009 at 11:06 am
Snickers Dark.
August 7th, 2009 at 11:08 am
Have to take the one mentioned in the lead-in by BDD….Zagnut
August 7th, 2009 at 11:08 am
and I hate Coconut generally….
August 7th, 2009 at 11:10 am
Otto took my pick, plus my burger.
Damn you for having great tastes.
August 7th, 2009 at 11:15 am
Danish bar: Yankie bar! It’s the steal of the draft, I’m telling you!
/Wonders who I’m kidding
// Weeps silently for not making it in time for the LionBar.
/// OMG european bars rock….
August 7th, 2009 at 11:20 am
The Reggie Bar. Hated Reggie Jackson, but his candy bar was great.
August 7th, 2009 at 11:21 am
reeses pieces
and needs a gratuitous simpsons references tag
August 7th, 2009 at 11:21 am
Lowney’s Cherry Blossom…..
August 7th, 2009 at 11:23 am
@Garrett: complete steal. Damn!
August 7th, 2009 at 11:26 am
Since I’m coming late here (that’s what she said). I’m going international, as well.
Kinder Happy Hippos. Spanish hazelnut candy FTW.
August 7th, 2009 at 11:30 am
Dove Dark Chocolate Bar
August 7th, 2009 at 11:30 am
Cadbury’s Caramilk. Blows the shit outta all picks so far. Maybe you guys don’t have it down in the US of A.
Fuck – quick Wiki search reveals a Caramello is basically the same thing. I’m sticking with my pick though.
August 7th, 2009 at 11:34 am
@alter(my)ego Says took my braided greatness of the Marathon Bar. I’ll please have a Bit O Honey.
/loses fillings
August 7th, 2009 at 11:35 am
Pearson’s Nut Goodie
August 7th, 2009 at 11:42 am
My dad was stationed in West Berlin during the early 1970s, and my earliest memory is of me sitting on the balcony, eating a Kinderschokolade Surprise Egg and listening to the police sirens.
So, yeah. Kinderschokolade. Tastes like leftist terrorism.
August 7th, 2009 at 11:43 am
Stupid Claude Balls….PB Twix is the best.
#2 Pick – Chunky
August 7th, 2009 at 11:46 am
Cadbury Twirl.
August 7th, 2009 at 11:50 am
Malteser’s!! Kick the crap out of Whoopers. In the family of chocolate covered balls, Whoopers are like the retarded cousin to Malteser’s Harvard grad!
August 7th, 2009 at 11:52 am
Take a trip up north for a Wonderbar. And skip the Vosges w/ bacon – there’s no bacon taste, just bacon bits. Get the one with the chili pepper instead.
August 7th, 2009 at 11:56 am
Staying with Peter Paul Co….from long ago, the Powerhouse candy bar.
All I remember was they blew the $100,000 bar out of the water back in the day
August 7th, 2009 at 11:57 am
for whatever reason, this never gets mentioned with the bikini team as one of the key exports – Swedish Fish
oh, and because it IS Sexy Friday: http://www.swedishbikiniteam.com/
August 7th, 2009 at 12:01 pm
So does it have to be a bar, or can it be any packaged candy normally found in a convenience store of sorts?
If not, Cadbury Mini Eggs. If bar form is required, I guess I’ll take Sky Bar.
/Otto Man won with Whatchamacallit
August 7th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
(Cartman is selling candy at the fat camp he is attending and is approached by a fellow camper who is crying.)
Cartman: Why are you crying Chad?
Chad: Cause I’m always gonna be fat, I don’t want to eat no sweets but I can’t control myself when there right in front of me like this (continues crying) all my life I’ve been fat, I’ve been to seven camp and I swore to my momma that I’d lose the weight, I want too but I can’t help myself. (continues crying).
Cartman: Hey Chad, do you know what you need? You need a friend.
Chad I do?
Cartman: Yes a chocolate friend. Mr. Candybar doesn’t judge you Chad, Mr. Candybar likes you just the way you are. Look how yummy and sweet he is.
(Chad, still crying, takes the offered candy bar.)
Cartman: There you go, that’ll just be four dollars.
(Chad, who is still crying, pays Cartman and begins to eat)
Cartman: There you go.
August 7th, 2009 at 12:04 pm
Clearly only one option, not sure if anyone took it yet: Mr. Goodbar
August 7th, 2009 at 12:14 pm
to all dudes…dark chocolate is for pussy fag boys who drink red wine with their candy
August 7th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
Good N Plenty
That’s right. Candy coated black licorice and fucking GREAT. Plus, you get like a pound box for 99 cents. That’s a long last meal.
August 7th, 2009 at 12:29 pm
Games of HORSE were played before lunch with a candy bar at stake.
I imagine that by the end of the summer Drew was draining shots like that youtube kid Shaq called out.
August 7th, 2009 at 12:29 pm
In South Africa they had these stupid things called “Aero” bars which were just chocolate with a bunch of air bubbled mixed into it. And since I’ve showed up 120 picks into the draft, I think I’m stuck with that.
August 7th, 2009 at 12:29 pm
I say have any of you scaliwags choosen a nice horehound candy???
August 7th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
Werther’s Original from deep inside my grandpa’s pocket. “No not there, more to the left. Yeah that’s it.”
/Headed back to my therapist
August 7th, 2009 at 12:53 pm
@Garrett – FUUUUUUUCK. I kept scrolling and scrolling, slowly coming to the realization no one had taken Three Musketeers yet. And then you come out of nowhere and just take a big dump on my whole afternoon. Thanks, jerkwad.
August 7th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
@ Goverment Mule: Damn you. Kinder Surprise Egg was the SHIT!! I hate you for picking that
My pick is Chocolatina Jet, a Colombian chocolate bar. It is a STAPLE of growing up in Colombia. Why? It’s cheap, delicious, and each bar comes with a collector’s card of an animal, the point being to collect each and every one of these “cards”, complete the album, and rule your neighborhood. Ah sweet bliss, drinking a Coke, eating my Jet, filling my album, trading with friends…..
August 7th, 2009 at 1:11 pm
Wow… getting in the game this late and still seeing Starburst on the board. Steal!
August 7th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
to unite the Holy Trinity of Peter Paul… Clark Bars.
Butterfinger is a poor man’s Clark, they just got the better tie-in with the Simpsons
August 7th, 2009 at 1:36 pm
Milky way going so late is the dajuan Blair to the spurs of this draft
August 7th, 2009 at 1:43 pm
‘One time at bandcamp….’
Big Hunk! It’s nougat and peanuts and freakin’ huge, if my memory serves.
/slips into sugar coma….
August 7th, 2009 at 1:50 pm
Fucking Bottle Caps. I don’t see them too often, but I love those things
http://candy-crate.stores.yahoo.net/bocathsi6o.html
August 7th, 2009 at 1:50 pm
Tim-Tams, bitches. The fat lady has sung.
August 7th, 2009 at 1:50 pm
Since Whatchamacallit is off the board I’ll take its deliciously retarded cousin, Thingamajig.
August 7th, 2009 at 2:03 pm
Holee shit! They still make Big Hunk?!? Many thanks to whomever posted the Annabelle Candy link.
August 7th, 2009 at 2:04 pm
Pez
August 7th, 2009 at 2:07 pm
MORO
http://www.taquitos.net/im/sn/Moro.jpg
August 7th, 2009 at 2:16 pm
The Kirby Puckett Bar. As I remember, the wrapper had a big, fat smiling Puck on it. The bar was chocolate, toasted rice and caramel, like a Whatchamacallit (which I would have taken had Otto not snatched it up early) but not as good. Just thinking about the Kirby Puckett bar takes me back.
RIP Kirby
August 7th, 2009 at 2:23 pm
Ghirardelli Dark Chocolate and Mint Squares.
Holy shit.
August 7th, 2009 at 2:25 pm
Well, I’ve come in way late on this, so it’s down to a lesser favourite, but still a goodie: chocolate fish.
The upside is I get to go to New Zealand to have it.
August 7th, 2009 at 2:25 pm
Hershey’s Symphony bar, with almonds and toffee.
August 7th, 2009 at 2:27 pm
Nestle White, just for the commercials back in the ’80s and early ’90s. I want eat a Nestle’s White while wearing a turtle neck and looking like a model for a Maxfield Parrish painting.
“Sweet dreams you can’t resist N-E-S-T-L-E-S. A dream as sweet as this. N-E-S-T-L-E-S. Creamy White! Dreamy White!”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGjDjKJWwvs&feature=related
August 7th, 2009 at 2:34 pm
Hot Tamales
August 7th, 2009 at 2:35 pm
coupla things from someone who worked in a candy store in summer in high school:
can*not* believe skor went before heath – it’s like taking heyward-bay seventh in the NFL draft.
toblerone is a huge reach too.
Slothrop, god bless you for the chuckles pick, great value. but the black licorice are the best.
As for my pick (new englanders will kick themselves for missing it)… NECCO wafers. Except the pepto bismol flavor, which suck. Those you can throw away.
August 7th, 2009 at 2:45 pm
okay, i’m probably too late, but since everyone else is passing, my next pick:
Jelly Bellys.
Yeah.
August 7th, 2009 at 2:51 pm
Chocolate orange.
You get to smack the damn thing as hard as you can to separate the many sections.
And: chocolate + orange + smacking shit up = bliss
Also, those tiny liquor-filled chocolate bottles they sell at liquor stores. The cognac ones are fucking awesome…
August 7th, 2009 at 3:01 pm
Whatever candy bar it is, it better be King Size. Also they should create a new size for our ever increasing fat society: The Santonio Holmes special, just thinking about a Snickers bar that size makes me …..
/no homo
August 7th, 2009 at 3:08 pm
Apollo Bar… yes it’s the candy bar from LOST, which is why I want it.
/no more peanut butter
August 7th, 2009 at 4:00 pm
“North America’s Team Says: Coffee Crisp”
Brilliant! +1
Lock it up. Championship!
August 7th, 2009 at 4:05 pm
Those Brach’s candies I graze from the bulk bins at the grocery store.
August 7th, 2009 at 4:08 pm
Milk Shake – along the lines of a Milky Way and discontinued in the 70’s. Around the age of 5, that candy bar was my weekly reward for getting hauled around the grocery store (Luck’s…also vanished).
August 7th, 2009 at 4:16 pm
@ Mayo:
Don’t let the Mrs. try the altoid trick with the hot tamales….trust me.
August 7th, 2009 at 4:16 pm
Mallo-Cup
August 7th, 2009 at 4:26 pm
Goo Goo clusters. God bless the Souf.
August 7th, 2009 at 4:55 pm
World’s Finest Chocolate. That’s right, from your middle school fundraiser. The only way I made any money selling those things was leaving them in our refrigerator. That big cardboard box only lasted about a week in our house. Winnar!
August 7th, 2009 at 5:28 pm
@ Juan – Speaking of high school fundrasiers, as a junior my high school leadership committee made the unfortunate decision of choosing me and my pickup truck to get the 70+ Helen Grace chocolate eggs from the East Los Angeles manufacturing plant. I chose an assistant and his bong (Mr. Happy) to accompany me. Three hours and two buds later we returned and somehow the count ended up a few eggs short.
Best Eggs Ever……..
August 7th, 2009 at 5:32 pm
Nik-L-Nips
Mmmm, wax and sugar water.
August 7th, 2009 at 5:35 pm
Dark Chocolate 3 Muskateers – no bullshit filler like peanuts or carmel. It is all nouget all the fucking time with a bitter choco outerlayer that is sure to make you look like you just got booked at juvie hall.
August 7th, 2009 at 5:47 pm
Butterfinger. Sticks to your teeth for days.
August 7th, 2009 at 6:42 pm
Goldberg’s Peanut Chews
August 7th, 2009 at 7:27 pm
Jesus christ, I get here super late and three of my top four are still on the board.
Peanut Butter M&Ms
August 7th, 2009 at 8:04 pm
Since I never had much of a chance to pick Nutrageous, I’ll go with my favorite luxury candy bar:
Reese’s Select Clusters
They’re, like, peanut butter Turtles. Pure deliciousness.
August 7th, 2009 at 8:36 pm
crunch bars with caramel. steal of the draft.
August 7th, 2009 at 8:39 pm
The Whizzo Chocolate Company Crunchy Frog:
“We use only the finest baby frogs, dew-picked and flown from Iraq, cleansed in finest quality spring water, lightly-killed, and then sealed in a succulent Swiss quintuple smooth treble cream milk chocolate envelope and lovingly frosted with glucose.”
Fictional? Damn. How about the German candy, Joy Joys (Mit iodine)?
August 8th, 2009 at 1:53 am
Almond Fucking Roca. Steal of the draft.
I got it all from Belichick.
I don’t like candy,don’t consume candy but goddamn, Almond Roca is the ever loving shit-kitty.
Normally I get more of my fair share of sugars from alcohol. Will make an exception at this point.
Almond Roca is the new Tom Brady!
No One Denies This!
//Fack Off!!
August 8th, 2009 at 8:21 am
Uh, Tootsie Rolls?
SOTD — on day 2 yet.
“Chewy, chewy Tootsie Roll
Lasts a long time!!!” (Perhaps not long enough for the governor to stay one’s execution, but whatever.)
/regrets that no one will see this.
August 8th, 2009 at 10:12 am
Since some dick cheese took Reese’s pieces and peanut butter cups too I’m gonna go technical:
Reese’s Eggs. More peanut butter and only available at Easter time.
Faced
August 8th, 2009 at 7:32 pm
Would have taken Toblerone or Butterfinger, as those are my favorites.
Are Peach Ring candy’s legal? I cant get enough of them. Its a lot of fun also to stick ya tongue in the hole and well… I’ll Stop.
August 9th, 2009 at 5:09 pm
I might be blind, but I’m pretty sure original M&Ms are still on the board. Peanut M&Ms were taken, peanut butter M&Ms too, and somebody took the dark chocolate ones, but nobody’s taken original yet, right?
So yeah… M&Ms.
Also, are Gummi Worms on the board? Gummi Worms FTW.
August 10th, 2009 at 11:25 am
Planter’s Peanut Bar
August 10th, 2009 at 1:06 pm
True story: I actually right by the NECCo factory on the bus on my way to work every day.
Other true story: NECCo Wafers are fucking gross.
So yeah, it’s like 3 days later and there’s nothing left…. except for my ultimate favorite movietime candy…
SPREE!
And not the chewey ones either. Fuck them. The wafer-hard original ones. Go ahead and try telling me don’t like them.
August 11th, 2009 at 1:24 pm
I doubt anyone is still checking this post but I had to chime in and draft the little known yet very delicious Take Five.
For the uninitiated, from Hershey’s website: HERSHEY’S TAKE 5 provides a unique taste experience by combining five favorite ingredients in one candy bar. The result is a delicious salty sweet snack unlike anything else.
The five flavors? None other than Chocolate, Pretzels, Caramel, Peanuts and Peanut Butter. Hersheys: thanks for Daring to Dream.