OW-UH FACKIN’ HAHHHHTS AHHH BROKEN!
08.26.09
NOOOO!!! NAWT YOU, SENATAH KENNEDY! WHY AHHHH WE THE ONLY ONES SADDLED WITH SUCH SUDDEN LAWSSES?!!!
THIS IS A STOMACH PUNCH DEATH!
You people from othah faggot states don’t get it. He may have been a drunk who let a garl die, but he was OW-UH drunk who let a garl fackin’ DIE! You can’t appreciate the history this man had with his votah base! We lifted him up! If it had nawt been far the LEGENDARY BAWSTON VOTAHS, that highway bill nevah would have passed! FACKIN’ CHAHHHHLES SCHUMAH WOULD HAVE FACKED IT UP!
/drinks six pack of Cider Jack
AH, CIDAHHHHH!
/drowns girl
FACK YOU!
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I totally understand the Tommy posts making fun of New England fans for the way a lot of us talk about our sports teams… there’s a lot of morons around here and there’s no getting around that. But dumping shit on us for being sad that our Senator for the past 47 years, who spent his career fighting for basic human rights for all Americans, passed away… I just don’t see the humor in it.
Sure he was kind of an asshole, but if you’re going to pick on senators for drinking, womanizing, and killing mistresses… the list doesn’t exactly stop with Ted. Stick to the sports stories, guys.
pretty sure tommy is not a fan of that immigration bill from 1965, what with all the useless spics it’s brought in
Are we ever going to get a feature with Tawmmy, Marmalard, OchoCinco, Rongrastname, Mr. Smirre, and JJ forming some kind Justice League from hell?
By far the best character on this blog.
Nothing to do with football, but a masshole accent works really well if you try to taunt Ryan Howard.
Yeah, +1 to Tracer Bullet.
Best Tawmmy post FACKIN EVAH
“Get ready for a solid week of all-Teddy-all-the-time. As a conservatard, I despised his worldview and policies, but he was also one of the most willing Senators to reach across the aisle to accomplish goals that he believed in… which is more than you can say for most of the rest of the corrupt, money-grubbing, douchebags (from both sides of the aisle) who “represent” us. That’s the nicest thing I can muster to say about him, but he ain’t no damned hero (except maybe to O.J. and others that aspire to get away with murder), regardless of what we’ll hear all week.”
Almost thought you were talking about a douchebag named McLame. Fack ‘em all. The only reachin’ they need to do
is around, and not around here.
First Highway Bill reference I saw all day. I hate this bit, but I have to give you guys credit for knowing your shit.
Little known fact: Tawmee fronts a karn covah band called ‘WICKED LOBSTAH’. True.
FACKIN’ CHAHHHHLES SCHUMAH WOULD HAVE FACKED IT UP!
Truer, loftier words were never spoken.
It’s good to have Tommy back. Life seems empty without him.
But seriously, RIP
Hey Teddy! Huh? what? huh? Fuck you!
The “stomach punch” Simmons reference is noted and appreciated.
If Tommy weren’t so grief-stricken, he would have mentioned that the only man qualified to replace Kennedy in the Senate is Bill Belichek. His fucking — oops, excuse me, fackin’ — genius will get health care passed, the budget balanced, and the Patriots officially declared as America’s Team.
“Not kill a woman like Ted K. did.”
Yes, but have you ever destroyed an entire country like Dick Cheney?
I heard they’re going to observe a moment of incomprehensible babbling before the next Special Olympics.
Of the group of senators who were likely responsible for a drowning in Massachusetts, I’d say he was one of the most notable.
@Your Wife’s Lipstick: Says the guy “hiding” behind a made-up name
“might I ask what you guys (and gals?) have done in your lives?”
Not kill a woman like Ted K. did.
His FAHHKIN MELON WAS BIGGAH DENN TOM BRADIE’S CAHHH-JONES!
@ Your Wife’s Lipstick
Hilarious. Your sarcastic righteously indignant ranting seems so real.
Nice job haters. Hope people have equally nice things to say about you when you’re tits up.
A bunch of big talk from people who hide behind made-up names… might I ask what you guys (and gals?) have done in your lives?
The anonymity of the internet is simultaneously great and really irksome.
Hey, Grimace, what New England state did you just downgrade to “Northeast” or “Canada”
Get ready for a solid week of all-Teddy-all-the-time. As a conservatard, I despised his worldview and policies, but he was also one of the most willing Senators to reach across the aisle to accomplish goals that he believed in… which is more than you can say for most of the rest of the corrupt, money-grubbing, douchebags (from both sides of the aisle) who “represent” us. That’s the nicest thing I can muster to say about him, but he ain’t no damned hero (except maybe to O.J. and others that aspire to get away with murder), regardless of what we’ll hear all week.
/dick joke
(What scares me is that now I can easily decipher the ramblings of Tommy, Hines Ward, Rapeslisberger, etc. without having to sound them out phonetically in my head.
It must be like when nerds can finally understand Elvish or Klingon.)
AH, CIDAHHHHH!
/drowns girl
I just Twisted Teakaked my keyboard reading that. Well played, sir.
Not too soon. Rest In Peace. Good riddance.
In lieu of Amazing Grace, the bagpipers at the service will perform their rendition of ‘In the Air Tonight’
Grimace,
Seems to me Howard Dean, Bernie Sanders and Barney Frank all call NE home. Fix yo’ socialism.
Diageo’s stocks are trading at 50% of their value in response to this tragedy. On the bright side, Scotch supplies are expected to exceed demand for the first time in a generation.
Also, +1 for “garl”
*made fun of
I wonder if this douche knows he gets made of daily on this site? Think he’s changed his ways? Nooooooo.
I speak confidently for the other 4 New England states when I say…fuck Massachussets with a rusty spike. Fuck it right in its overtaxed, socialist state in a democratic country, poorly reflecting on the rest of an entire region’s ass.
Ted was Wicked Pissah . . .
-1 democrats in the senate (for today at least)
Zed’s dead, baby. Zed’s dead.
And if they ain’t servin no Twisted fackin Tea’s at the funeral, then I ain’t goin! Ya fackin pole smokahs!
“FACKIN’ CHAHHHHLES SCHUMAH WOULD HAVE FACKED IT UP!”
I lol’d
Ted’s dead, baby! I’m throwing a kegger!
+1 to Tracer Bullet
otherwise, too soon
Vote Quimby!
http://www.hulu.com/watch/28811/the-simpsons-say-chowder
Tommy & Co now have Welker 2.0 who has already become a HUGE fan favorite: Julian Edelman. Shockingly, he’s a white wide receiver. As evidence, he’s a thread on a Pats message board with 113 replies debating whether or not Edelman is Jewish as well as white:
http://www.patsfans.com/new-england-patriots/messageboard/10/259429-julian-edelman-jewish.html
Mary Jo Kopechne’s comments have been drowned out by Tommy’s sorrowful wailing
/pun’d
Which is funny, because Tawmmy’s family has never been interested in politics except for that time his father stabbed a guy with the American flag during an anti-busing riot.
1001 Ways to Die and Kill by the Kennedy Clan.
“Well at least the Kopechne family will have a grave to spit on now.”
+1969
It’s CHOWDAHHH!!!!!!
Chappaquiddick Dead?
The Kennedy family must be drowning their sorrows right now.
Cease this irksomeness!
Well at least the Kopechne family will have a grave to spit on now.
A touching tribute from his strongest constituency [/Anchorman]
Not everyone is sad about this. After all, The Dead Kennedys just gained a new member.
The real irony is that he probably did more in his 47 years as a Senator than his brothers did in their combined, loftier vocations of President and Atty General.
An even greater irony is the fact that Tawmmy from Quinzee is the man, by sheer statistics of the applicant pool, who will most likely succeed him, metaphorically speaking, of course.
/Politic’d
I’m sure the IRA is mourning the loss of a fine benefactor. errr No offense to the IRA, of course
/please don’t slash my achilles tendons
perfect
I totally forgot the Tawmmy connection when I heard the news. Oh, thank you KSK.
Too soon.
This video seems appropriate for this post
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7TWLxCIgwE
Kennedy did pretty good for a guy that got kicked out of Harvard twice and killed a girl.
+1 for the “i’m not paying you to talk” tag
Freddy Quimby was with me the entire…night in question. We were collecting canned goods for the starving people in…er, you know, one of them loser countries.
One down, one to go.
Er uh, let’s geeeet pissed.
Too soon?
Kerry’s got some rock and roll shoes to fill. He better start slamming scotch rightfuckingnow.
+1 KSK. ciiiidah!
Show-der? Show-der? It’s Chowdah you idiot, get it right!
Know what this means? IRISH FUNERAL!!!! Wooo Hoo!