KSK Kontent Klearinghouse
Constants of life: birth, death, crime, gratuitous Brady Quinn jokes
08.10.09
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KSK Kontent Klearinghouse
08.10.09UPROXX Best of The Web
There are 40 comments about:
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Oh my God. Peter King is the Brett Favre of columnists.
“Peter has a natural curiosity and boyish enthusiasm about many things in his life, especially this game that we all love,” Ebersol said. “He may be in his early fifties, but he has all of the enthusiasm of that young boy from Connecticut who, from an early age, simply adored sports.”
“From day one, I’ve eyewitnessed his passion for his job, the excellence of his world and his love of sport. All of it is only surpassed by the fact that he is one of the best persons in the world and a great family man.” – Chris Mortensen
Especially all the bullshit hyperboles about his selflessness and how great of a guy he is, which are too numerous to quote but can be found in the article that miamidiesel linked to.
Who here hasn’t had a rocky relationship with mom because of a decision not to hire her as one’s agent?
What? No PK post today?
THIS IS EXTORTION. THIS SMELLS OF SUN DISRESPECT.
I do like the idea of an occasional Kingkakke.
Now, I know we get out of hand here on a regular basis. We opine fervently on topics ranging from anal to football analysis. But this constant flogging of Peter King must stop. He’s funny and insightful and endearing. A “lofty” link to our football past…all the way back to the 80′s. It is clear that the site’s authors have had a change of heart and are doing what they can to end the suffering for good ol’ Pete. Upon receiving the 2009 Dick McCann Memorial Award from the Professional Football Writers of America, Pete had this to say:
“I can’t go on. Brett’s gone and nothing I do can bring him back. After coming to this realization, and attempting to drown my sorrows in KitKats and Starbucks Dark Roast Sumatra Blend, unsuccessfully; I had a bowel movement that brought me to this conclusion: Everything said about me on KSK is true. I am an anal wart on the prolapsed sphincter of Football, and I don’t deserve to live. 2)b. and my bullet points, aren’t. Goodbye, forever.”
And that is why KSK is giving Pete the break that he deserves. While breaking into his house to recover the “True” ball stolen from a child, so it can be placed in the SI Fall of Fame.
Maybe the reason we didn’t get the weekly King dismantling is Drew had an aneurysm upon finding out that Peter King is now a member of the Pro Football Hall of Fame. This could be the terrible event rk was wondering about.
Did anyone read this shit? Is that for real? Could anyone who has ever read even a sentence of Peter King seriously write something like that or is everyone fucking with me? I imagine it to be something like the Simpsons episode where Homer helps design a car for his long lost brother Herb, and the lab guys call up Herb to tell him what a disaster Homer is, then Herb makes them say the exact opposite of everything they said about Homer to Bart and Lisa. That’s the only fucking way anyone can write a column like that about that fat fuck Peter King
Don’t get your tit in the wringer, Cavey will have PK tomorrow.
I think.
WTF?
http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2009/08/10/high-praise-for-peter-king/
Awesome “great award. lofty award” comment in the response section, BTW.
Many of us with hollow lives live for the MMQB explication de texte.
So?
Perhaps you should allow those of us who read him at 7 am to participate in our own deconstruction of the article at an earlier time (with a 10 am cutoff, say), followed by your professional demolition at noonish.
I need something interesting to read during lunch. Deadspin, RIP, just doesn’t do it anymore.
I also just had the terrible thought that there was a life-altering event that prevented your posting. A birth, a death, a positive test for an STD. God, I pray that no evil has befallen our PK defecator. If you’ve had such an event, our hopes and our prayers are with you.
IF not, fuck youse. Youse guys are gettin paid for this shit. I WANT MY PK POST. NOW!
So no one else can do the MMQB column since Drew is on vacay? Did everyone else on this site forget how to write? Half the fucking column is written for you. Next time, let me know, and I’ll write it.
@muff stubble – I believe Drew is on vacation this week.
speaking of MMQB, there’s a new article on Slate about life in North Korea. the author says, “I brought 150 Kit-Kat bars into the country, and I always took several out of my bag when I was alone with a North Korean. They would hesitate for a few seconds, look around to make sure that no one else was watching, and then stuff the Kit-Kats into their pockets.”
somehow I think meltiness was not a significant concern.
It’s like 2:00 here on the West Coast, get your damn PK breakdown up, lazy jackass’.
Worst. Mailbag. Ever. Not enough anal.
Where’s the Mother Fuckin’ MMQB column? I ended up doing real work today because you were too lazy to post the column.
I thought there was a website a while back about Tony Romo being gay. The guy who wrote ate a lot of cheeseburgers if I remember correctly.
Elisabeth Hasselbeck didn’t eat her young? I would have thought she was the type.
I’m pretty sure Troy Polamalu and Hines Ward are gay.
It also cites that 10% of the NFL is gay, im not trying to be homophobic or anything here, but is that not insanely high? even if every kicker and punter plus brady quinn is gay, thats not even 5%
Wow. That Bleacher Report piece was one of the most poorly reasoned pieces of shit that I’ve read in a long time.
His basic reasoning was “because I think so,” and “why not?”
50% of surveyed NFL players may say that they will accept openly gay players in the locker room … but:
– what about the other 50%; and
– what people say in a survey and what they do/how they act in reality are two different things.
I’d be shocked if an openly gay player was truely accepted by his teammates.
Unless it was a kicker or punter. Because, you know, they’re weird, and not really football players anyway.
Unsilent is officially on PK’s radar
@Unsilent : I plead guilty. I was in the archives today and saw the Unitas contract … and Pat Tillman’s garment bag. Amazing stuff.
“that sort of thing happens all the time in Morgantown, West Virginia, but Brinkley went to school at Syracuse.”
All people in Morgantown are good for is burning couches (this coming from someone from WV)….Sadly a lot of those kids that go there are from NJ
Otto – I’m dying here. That was great.
+2
Three things you can never find at a Cheesecake Factory:
1. Parking
2. Portion control
3. Dignity
The NFL will mastermind a leak that outs a gay NBA or MLB player LONG before they allow one of their own to come out.
Especially since they want to make sure Howie Long is off-camera when his head a’splodes
Three things you can always find at the cheesecake factory.
1. Overly nervous high school kids on their first date or going to prom/homecoming
2. Significantly overweight African American women
3. At least 40 people wearing blue tooth ear pieces
“You smell like scotch and cheesecake.”
Alan Lupiani is delusional, like eleven-year-old-girl delusional.
The way “Fredo” is struck, it kinda makes it look like “Frodo.” Which, not for nothing, would be a great name for the next Manning kid….
References to Caddyshack, Sanford and Son, and Elisabeth Hasselbeck’s retardery.
I’m comin’, Elisabeth!
References to Caddyshack, Sanford and Son, and Elisabeth Hasselbeck’s retardery.
Well played, Flubby. You know, for a degenerate Raiders fan.
No way a gay person comes out this year or in any following year. The athlete culture, especially football, will have none of that. Unless its in that OTHER football league. Mike Vick has a better chance starting for an NFL team this year than us seeing a gay player coming out in the NFL ever. There is just way too much Christianity and testosterone for anyone to reveal themselves.
85- The poll is simply mind-blowing. I’d expect nothing less from Bleacher Report.
That Bleacher Report post might be the dumbest thing I’ve read today. And I read PK this morning.
The guy has poll up asking “When will an active gay NFL player come out?” The choices:
- this year
- next year
- after next year
- never, I’m homophobic.
That’s right, he thinks you can keep on being afraid of The Gays and they’ll just stop existing. The thinking of a lot of people in this country just got a lot clearer. Wait, no it didn’t.
Touché, well played sir…
Yup, that’s Brady. DA was going to win the QB competition anyway, but this totally fucks Brady’s chances – I’m pretty sure there’s no love lost between Manginia and the gays. Although his strict “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy on injuries in training camp might suggest otherwise.
“that sort of thing happens all the time in Morgantown, West Virginia, but Brinkley went to school at Syracuse.”
Central NY and W.V. can’t be that different.
Mom???
Flubby, eat a fat cock you round glob of stupid.