John Elway to marry hot old chick this weekend
I hope my second wife is half this hot.
Congrats to Hall of Famer John Elway and former Raiderette Paige Green who are getting married tomorrow at John’s place in Coeur d’Alene. Apparently, Elway, 49, tracked Green, 42, down after seeing her in an infomercial.
I wish had the time and wherewithal to track down random attractive women I see on television. I would be all “Hey, what’s up AT&T Rollover Minutes MILF?”
[ dscriber, Denver Post ]
Tags: elway, oversharing, sexy friday
August 28th, 2009 at 10:45 am
I wish I was a super-bowl-winning quarterback…
August 28th, 2009 at 10:49 am
If I was John Elway, I’d totally stalk and bag Rosetta Stone Infomercial Huge Rack Chick.
August 28th, 2009 at 10:54 am
Worse looking commercial chick: the one on the Progressive insurance commercials. She is frightening.
August 28th, 2009 at 10:56 am
@ Porky: Absolutely Rosetta Stone. When I watch DVR and that commercial comes on I don’t fast forward.
Also, and many will probably say it weird, but I think the chick in the Progressive Insurance commercials has always seemed like she’s sending me messages that she wants to do me.
August 28th, 2009 at 10:58 am
@ UU: Maybe I’m mistaking her frightening ways for physical attraction to me
August 28th, 2009 at 11:00 am
Seeing as they are friends, this wedding could easily be turned into a horrible Rick Reilly essay. It’s already got the subtle teeth reference built in.
August 28th, 2009 at 11:01 am
How come every time I track down some random hot chick I see on TV or at the train station my proposals of marriage are met with screams and/or restraining orders and everyone telling me I’m some sort of stalker?
It’s just not fair!
August 28th, 2009 at 11:01 am
Don’t worry about Flo the Progressive Chick…she’s having a threeway with Vince the ShamWow guy and Ron Popeil.
August 28th, 2009 at 11:09 am
@UU Come on man, she’s a chunky monkey. Think Monica Lewinsky but with a personality.
August 28th, 2009 at 11:13 am
I want to stalk the “You gotta buy a Mercury” chick. She can keep the heels on while I do her.
August 28th, 2009 at 11:13 am
@ UU
you beat me to Flo, from progressive insurance. instant boner killer.
August 28th, 2009 at 11:18 am
i think the progressive girl is into anal. just a hunch.
August 28th, 2009 at 11:18 am
@Spatula, “think Monica Lewinsky”, no thanks. And it’s not that she is a little chunky. It’s the pasty skin and crazy eyes that scare the hell out of me.
August 28th, 2009 at 11:20 am
If we’re going to talk about insurance girls…then I wish I could animate myself and bang the shit out of the esurance girl.
August 28th, 2009 at 11:20 am
@j4B: Hell yes, Mercury girl aka Jill Wagner is smoking hot.
August 28th, 2009 at 11:27 am
You just know that Flo does things you haven’t even read about. (”Dear Penthouse: I never thought that this would happen to a guy like me…”) It would be kind of like an hour with Madonna – not something you would want to do regularly, but probably very educational…
August 28th, 2009 at 11:30 am
No discussion of infomercial chicks is complete w/o the titsticks from “Shortcuts to Internet Millions”.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVhEprAlBgY
August 28th, 2009 at 11:31 am
I heard Elway was planning on leaving her at the altar in Baltimore and then eloping with some skank in Denver.
August 28th, 2009 at 11:35 am
The only commercial I don’t fast forward past on my DVR is the 542542 Text Message Q&A service one. The chick playing the Text Message Answer Agent and hanging out with the vaguely gay dude is REALLY REALLY fine. I think they realize it, too, because there is one where she just randomly shows up in a bikini for the last 2 seconds for no apparent reason. *
*Except to to take screencaps and masturbate furiously.
August 28th, 2009 at 11:40 am
I’m with Upstate on the Flo debate. She creeps me out.
August 28th, 2009 at 11:55 am
Has anyone caught the buxom blonde on those Rosetta Stone commercials?
Good God what a set of Milky eye poppers on that hosehound.
August 28th, 2009 at 11:59 am
How rude of me to not include a video..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMNt4-xPfzY
ah, boobs.
August 28th, 2009 at 12:01 pm
@Danger Guerrero
Dammit!!! Beat me(at) to it. Both of those chicks are hot, but I’d bang the ever living shit out of that British chick, just to hear her scream nasty things in that lovely accent.
August 28th, 2009 at 12:11 pm
I have no idea why, but I want that Oreck vacuum chic.
August 28th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
@ Bubby Brister
I think it’s the go-go boots + pleated skirt on the 542542 “KGB” chick that does it for me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5dsG11Brco&feature=related
August 28th, 2009 at 12:58 pm
Lesley Ann Machado is the Rosetta Stone girl. She just married some douchenozzle.
http://www.facebook.com/therealles?ref=ts
August 28th, 2009 at 12:59 pm
I nominate JG for Stalker of the Year.
I need someone to second the motion.
August 28th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
I second that motion
August 28th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
@ OttoMan
Why are you and I the only ones to remember Elway’s tantrum at draft day?
August 28th, 2009 at 1:31 pm
@Bill
Because kids these days are functionally retarded and can only remember the last QB to do that?
/Elisha
//Only 26, but kids in HS now cause me to weep for this country
///Weep from my eyes, not my dick
August 28th, 2009 at 1:38 pm
Chick from the BlackBerry Storm commercial. Frealz.
August 28th, 2009 at 1:39 pm
@Bubby Brister: no need to thank me, just doing my job
http://542542.com/videos/12-bet-your-skirt
August 28th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
Michele Nunes is the chick from BlackBerry Storm commercials. (Furthermore, if you hate the iPhone, try a Storm on for size. I’ll prematurely accept your apologies.)
http://www.michelle-nunes.com/
Where was I? Oh yeah! Stay out of my booze!
August 28th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
Thank you for bringing attention to this. I, too, have found myself strangely attracted to that rollover minutes mom. Maybe it’s the way she bosses everyone around. I’d roll HER over for a few minutes. Hey ohhhhh!
August 28th, 2009 at 2:04 pm
+ 1 to whoever said the hot woman in the blue dress for I think it’s the Buick? Wow, I could….wait…be back in 10 minutes.
August 28th, 2009 at 2:13 pm
@ OttoMan
Why are you and I the only ones to remember Elway’s tantrum at draft day?
I’m a Chiefs fan and my hatred of that horse-faced idiot runs deep. I can’t find it, but I remember him making some snide “thanks for trading me, Baltimore!” joke back when he was inducted in the Hall of Fame. No, no. Thanks for being an asshole, John.
August 28th, 2009 at 2:21 pm
Esurance girl>Judy Jetson??????
August 28th, 2009 at 2:28 pm
I’d find the Progressive chick.
August 28th, 2009 at 3:36 pm
I’m kinda shocked no one mentioned “Lauren” from the Windows commercial(s). I think she’s cute, and no worse than fucking Flo from Progressive.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIS6G-HvnkU (Ignore the Mac/PC bantering in the comments section)
Honorable mention: That chick in the tight pink shirt in the HP/Verizon commercial. Incredible rack, almost made me get an mini-notebook. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IqsR68mHE0A
August 28th, 2009 at 4:54 pm
She looks like she uses a strap-on and rides Elway like the pony boy he is.
August 28th, 2009 at 5:42 pm
I dig Flo the Progressive Insurance chica. I am however extremely upset that the milf from New York’s local area Lexus dealers has been replaced by Lynn Hoffman. The prior lexus lady just seemed classy but with a nasty side.
Jill from the mercury commercials is the winner, though, as her dress is rather sheer. Still can’t compete with the Kate Walsh cadillac ads for some “rapid gear-shifting.”
August 28th, 2009 at 5:49 pm
We Baltimorons like a good drunk. I think it’s the Law of Similar Attraction. We hated Irsay. Not a good drunk. We hated Elway because he reminded us of what a douche Irsay was. We love Art Modell, because he’s a good drunk.
August 28th, 2009 at 6:06 pm
The Progressive chick doesn’t look as much like a “stalker ex- girlfriend” in normal pictures:
http://images.tvrage.net/people/4/11841.jpg
August 28th, 2009 at 6:14 pm
Like the Mercury girl and Judy Jets..er I mean the esurance animated one. (It’s gotta be f!cked up when an animated chick reminds you of another hot animated chick who reminds you of Archie comic book Betty, who I would jack off to in High School). Anyway, I would trade them all in for a night with Stacy London (does some womanie shampoo commercial).
August 28th, 2009 at 7:11 pm
I tried to stalk the esurance girl for a while before someone told me she wasn’t real. I guess now I don’t have to win a superbowl.
August 28th, 2009 at 7:29 pm
I wonder what it was that first attracted Paige Green to millionaire John Elway?
August 28th, 2009 at 10:44 pm
Thank you, porky1, Walter, mick and JG.
The Double Bubble from the Rosetta Stone ads is one of my all-time favorite spokesmodels. I always get pissed off when the gray-beard is the spokesman, but the Asian chick who says she’s “learned more in two weeks thans in months of taking formal classes” is still pretty good.
Damn, I’ve seen that Rosetta Stone commercial a shameful number of times.
August 29th, 2009 at 1:26 am
Does anyone besides me remember that redheaded woman who used to pitch for HughesNet? The satellite ISP? She was skinny and kind of annoying and way overdid the hand motions to Emphasize Her Enthusiasm.
And oh my Lord I wanted to nail her.
August 29th, 2009 at 2:53 am
So,when Elway stalks women from TV commercials they marry him,and Progressive Insurance slaps me with a restraing order,and you’re telling me America isn’t an elitist society?
August 29th, 2009 at 3:05 pm
Are you guys forgetting about the chick from the YellowBook ads? Holy crap is she hot. Alexandra Daddario in case you’re wondering.
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x9mq55_alexandra-daddario-in-yellowbook-ad_lifestyle
August 29th, 2009 at 4:49 pm
Shades of Michael Scott. Except this time the woman hadn’t died in a car crash by the time he tracked her down.
October 30th, 2009 at 5:40 am
This might just be a New York commercial, but the woman who blends a drink before smoking, I would plow her all over..