Comments on: Jared Allen Done Caught a Case of the Schisms

By: Now Looka here

Now Looka here — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 07:57:32 +0000

Guys, guys … It’s abSENCE … “we preach ABSENCE ’round these parts” … as in … on the field …

By: Frank GORE! GORE! GORE!

Frank GORE! GORE! GORE! — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 05:07:26 +0000

/has done the math enough to know the dangers of our second guessing

Those lyrics are strangely and terribly fitting

By: skim172

skim172 — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 01:43:36 +0000

I discovered recently that I suddenly hate Jared Allen. He’s done nothing to me, but every time I see him, I just keep thinking, “Goddamn, that’s a douchebag.” This does not help.

By: Godzilla Biscuits

Godzilla Biscuits — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 22:47:10 +0000

STEP YOUR TOOL DISCOGRAPHY KNOWLEDGE UP!

By: James Harrison will taste manflesh!

James Harrison will taste manflesh! — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 21:34:41 +0000

“We preach abstinence around these parts…”

Which parts? The parts that came down with the schism?

By: dick_gozinia

dick_gozinia — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 21:29:41 +0000

We preach abstinence around these parts……

But on a boat, we preach banging as many strippers as you can.

By: Godzilla Biscuits

Godzilla Biscuits — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 20:49:02 +0000

YES. Squidbillies references should abound on this site.

Now if only I could have the still-beating heart of Brett Favre delivered to my doorstep for kidnapping Santa, then I’d be all set…

By: The Pirate Sloth

The Pirate Sloth — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 20:46:44 +0000

wait – no one mentioned 3-13?

Drew can shoot me now

By: Kimbo Gash

Kimbo Gash — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 20:28:27 +0000

And by schism, he means 5-11.

By: mullet

mullet — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 19:30:52 +0000

Jared Allen is every bit as funny as the dickhead in the elevator who says “suck it in” when there’s one more person that wants to squeeze in.

But he loves a camera almost as much as Cinco.