IT’S THE CAR BOAT SHOW! THE SHOW ABOUT CAR BOATS!
We’re taking a break from watching Punte wage a pitched Twitter war with Chad Ocho Cinco so that we can live blog the first episode of the new season of HBO’s Hard Knocks, which is following the Cincinnati Bengals on the beginning of their epic quest to maybe five wins. Be sure to follow along with us, premium cable subscribers (I only have HBO and Sunday Ticket because I can write them off as a business expense, suckerzzzz). Last year offered us Peter King scarfing popcorn with Jerry Jones. What wonders await in this year’s edition? How quickly can Chris Henry and Ocho reduce Laveranues Coles to tears in a receivers meeting? How irate will Bengals fans be when they realize HBO spends more money on this show than Mike Brown does on his team? Can Rey Maualuga pick up where Odell Thurman left off? On a barely tangential Bengals note, of their surely masochistic fans, Chris Littmann, has decided to bring me on as a regular contributor to The Sporting Blog beginning Aug. 24, so be sure to drop by there in two weeks to supplement your daily intake of Ape.*
*I promise to be less obviously homoerotic by then
Tags: bungles, Hard Knocks, Live Blogification, ocho and marvin
August 12th, 2009 at 4:36 pm
Ahhh a Bengals Prekkake. The perfect time to kick an organization while its down.
August 12th, 2009 at 4:38 pm
I don’t think I could stand watching anything to do with the Bengals in HD….
August 12th, 2009 at 5:43 pm
My TV just died so I can’t watch the Bengals tonight. Thank you TV.
August 12th, 2009 at 6:07 pm
*I promise to be less obviously
homoerotichomererotic by thenFTFY
August 12th, 2009 at 6:58 pm
The best “Hard Knocks” moment ever was two years ago when they followed the Chiefs training camp. Herm Edwards making a giant “WELCOME TO CAMP” sign instead of, I dunno, watching tape, consulting his assistant coaches, or working on the playbook was gold.
Nothing says “winning organization” like your head coach spending his valuable pre-camp preparation time playing with glitter and magic markers.
August 12th, 2009 at 7:20 pm
supplement your daily intake of Ape.*
Talk to your doctor, and see if Ape is right for you. WARNING: Do not take Ape if you are pregnant, operating heavy machinery or wearing a flammable Ravens hat. Side affects of Ape include drowsiness, nausea, headaches, acute homerism, anal leakage, lack of smiree and moutheyes. If erections last for more than 4 hours, consult a male prostitute.
Ape goes PEW PEW PEW on owies in the headspot. Try him today!
August 12th, 2009 at 10:39 pm
Speaking of homoeroticism, 85 (Hecho en Mexico Version) seems to view vaginas in an extremely poor light. Does that mean he’s out now?
I wonder who is the pitcher, 85 or Brady?
August 12th, 2009 at 10:54 pm
Well that was amusing. Thanks again Feast for the link to justin.tv
August 12th, 2009 at 11:21 pm
CHI PLEASE
August 13th, 2009 at 8:47 am
JL White ~ +1
August 13th, 2009 at 11:01 am
Best post ever. I saw the show last night, but didnt know this was happening at the same time. I’ll know next week to tune into both the show and the carboatkakke.
1. Bengals are going to SUCK OUT LOUD.
2. Andre Smith running that forty made me want to wash my eyes with bleach.
3. Chile Please has become the new name of my FF team.
4. Coach that cut the FB looked like he was smuggling pillows in his shorts.
5. Looks like the Curse of Hard Knocks is guaranteed to continue this year.
August 13th, 2009 at 12:26 pm
Ozone spot on analysis. That dudes tits bouncing will haunt my dreams for a long long time. I knew the hard kkakke was going on but I can’t multi task while stoned. you guys didnt dissapoint with the commentary. maybe next week I will TRY to read what you guys are making fun of. just dont expect me to participate!!!
August 13th, 2009 at 12:49 pm
You fuckers!!! No warning on the Hard Knocks blogkakke?!?!?! Oh well, a nice long blogkakke for tonight’s games should make up for it.
/MAKE THIS HAPPEN
//dick joke