Dallas Is Compensating For Something
Did you hear that Jerry Jones built a gargantuan $1.15 billion shrine to football and decadence? Because he did, and he wants everyone to know how GODDAMN HUGE it is. Needless to say, Dan Snyder will take this shirt as an affront to his stature and he’ll be even more eager to build a shiny new monstrosity of his own. [NBC DFW]
Tags: bad MS Paint, dallas cowboys, Homerism, Jerry Jones, The world needed another reason to hate Cowboy fans, Unsilent Majority, Whip em out and measure, YEEEHAAAAW I'M HUNG LIKE A FIVE YEAR-OLD!
![[badge]](http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/themes/default/images/100121_FOXmsnBadge_200x50.gif)
August 21st, 2009 at 10:52 am
Can Jerry Jones laying pipe in the upperdeck count as another notch on his mile high belt?
//also, the Steelers should release the same shirt with a picture of Santonio
August 21st, 2009 at 11:02 am
i guess there had to be something better than mediocre about the cowboys… personally satisfying to know that it’s only their stadium.
August 21st, 2009 at 11:13 am
Will the Redskins counter with a “OUR PIZZA IS CHEAPER!” T-shirt?
August 21st, 2009 at 11:26 am
inb4 homo steelers comment
oh wait
August 21st, 2009 at 11:32 am
I can already hear the incredible home-field advantage that such a huge cavern is sure to generate.
August 21st, 2009 at 11:37 am
The Landover Redskins from the Snyder article is priceless.
I did a search for FedEx field yesterday and read that the foreskins actually tried to use the POLICE to prevent people from taking the Metro and walking to the stadium because they wanted their fans to pay $40 to park their car near the stadium OR $30 to park in a designated lot and be SHUTTLED to the stadium 30 minutes away.
That’s a reason to fucking hate the cockskins over anything else. Oh and their team sucks too.
August 21st, 2009 at 11:56 am
Yes, nothing signals confidence more quickly than bragging. It’s especially endearing to brag about the size of the stadium when you consider how much it costs to park outside of it.
Parking at the stadium is $75. It’s $40 to $60 for parking at the Texas Rangers lots. The city of Arlington is getting ready to authorize some more parking for the magnanimous price of $25 (but those aren’t available yet).
But don’t despair. The “Ours Is Bigger” t-shirt is only $20.
August 21st, 2009 at 11:58 am
MINE IS BIGGEST!–Visanthe Shiancoe
August 21st, 2009 at 12:01 pm
Because a $1.15 billion stadium that you had nothing to do with is something for you to brag about.
August 21st, 2009 at 12:05 pm
Parking is $75?
In THIS economy?
Hubris, thy name is Jerry Jones.
Why go to the stadium when you can watch it from home? I mean, I live less than 5 miles from the Meadowlands, but parking is $30 there, and I thought THAT was outrageous…
August 21st, 2009 at 12:24 pm
To be fair though Jackin’, the Redskins can at least MAKE the playoffs every once in a while.
August 21st, 2009 at 12:37 pm
You guys are like pacifists protesting nuclear weapons. Bitch all you want, but they’re still going to exist, and still going to be way cooler than any of your pathetic lives.
August 21st, 2009 at 12:42 pm
Breaking News: Cowboys will charge all occupants of parked vehicle 20 bucks for not bringing their car. No word yet if size of belt buckle will be considered in a discount.
August 21st, 2009 at 12:44 pm
Jones was talking about the perceived homefield advantage. Landry’s teams didn’t have a great winning percentage because of white jersey’s or the hole in the roof or the cheerleaders.
They had 20 straight winning seasons because one of the best coaches ever to grace a NFL sideline happened to be on THEIR sideline. That and guys with names like: Howly, Lewis, Pearson, Dorsett, Staubach, White et. al
Jerry Jones is a living example that acumen in one area does not translate to success or knowledge in another. He knows oil. He can’t judge talent for crap.
12 years without a playoff win is proof positive of THAT.
August 21st, 2009 at 12:59 pm
Yeah, Huge badass stadiums suck!!!
/Rams fan
August 21st, 2009 at 1:23 pm
75.00???? really? on top of tickets? and 6 dollar beer? wow, people in dallas are rich.
August 21st, 2009 at 1:51 pm
so if I can eat the whole stadium in one sitting…..is it free?
August 21st, 2009 at 1:52 pm
The fans will be farther from the field than Harry and Hermoinie’s seats at the Quidditch World Cup. Cowboy fans will see better if they buy Sunday ticket and a 50 inch TV for their living room.
August 21st, 2009 at 1:55 pm
“and 6 dollar beer”
That’s a fackin’ discount compared to the price of Twisted Tea in Bawston.
August 21st, 2009 at 2:02 pm
CR says: “wow, people in dallas are rich.” Yeah, that’s the long and short of it, but don’t forget Fort Worth, too.
Tomlinson says: “The fans will be farther from the field than Harry and Hermoinie’s seats at the Quidditch World Cup.” The seats are surprisingly accommodating. I was anticipating something like what you said (except less nerdy), and was pleasantly surprised.
August 21st, 2009 at 2:09 pm
@Mo Charlo
Not nerdy. I’ve got kids and when they go to the movies I go with them so they don’t get ass raped by Cowboy fans.
August 21st, 2009 at 3:04 pm
@Mo Charlo: Some people in Dallas are rich, but most just have credit to burn. Or used to anyway.
And judging from a drunken conversation last night with several of my wife’s friends, Drew’s addition to the shirt is very accurate.
August 21st, 2009 at 5:41 pm
RE CR Says:
“75.00???? really? on top of tickets? and 6 dollar beer? wow, people in dallas are rich.”
The beer is $8. I don’t know who can afford to go to games there. A story in the paper today totaled the cost for a game for 2 people with the cheapest seats ($75 each), parking at the Rangers lot ($20), 2 beers and 2 hot dogs: $197. They do have what they call “party passes,” or somesuch shit, it’s $29 and you get to stand for the entire game. And here’s a real prize: the Tony Romo jersey is $110.
I just have a problem with JJ bragging about the size of the massive stadium the citizens of Arlington paid for, while he charges people $75 to park and $29 to stand.
August 21st, 2009 at 7:46 pm
Ah Jerry, you take the heat off crazy Vampire Al.
August 21st, 2009 at 8:08 pm
Man, FOX will not slobbering on Texas Stadium’s giant concrete-and-steel nutsack.
August 21st, 2009 at 8:22 pm
stop slobbering*
August 21st, 2009 at 8:23 pm
Cowboys stadium* whatever. It’s not even a state according to the Texas legislature
August 21st, 2009 at 10:57 pm
@stonecutter. You’re probably right.
August 22nd, 2009 at 1:40 pm
Fuck you. I’d rather have a little dick and MORE MONEY THEN YOU LOSER. Fuck off. Get a real job