And Thus Did the Favre Goat Saga Come to an End… OR DID IT?
We apologize: we have not covered the Favre goat story in the two whole days it has existed on the Internet. This is due both to our collective Favre fatigue and the inability of our resident goat-bondage expert PUNTE to weigh in on the subject. There are some pending criminal charges in South Carolina that keep him from sharing his expertise.
Anyway, it seems like only yesterday we were still talking about the woman who was traveling to Minneapolis with a live purple- and gold-painted goat with the number 4 shaved into its sides tied down in her trunk, with the apparent intent to sacrifice it near Brett Favre’s preseason debut on Friday.
However, as we all know, the goat was saved by fortuitous car trouble and the altruistic mechanics at Tires Plus in Winona, Minnesota — a tough blow for the subset of society that believes in a Chicago Cubs-like curse on the Vikings and also enjoys a good goat sacrifice. Moreover, the would-be blood offering to the football gods has been named Brett and is now living in Packers country, at the very same Favre-lovin’ farm that chose to make a Brett Favre corn maze last year instead of planting crops. (Native Americans call it “maize”) — it’s a small world when everyone’s insane about the same washed-up, self-centered quarterback. We can only guess that Brett the Goat will live happily on the farm for several months before he un-retires and ends up tied down in another car’s trunk. The first step to curing addiction is admitting you have a problem.
As we sift through the untidy aftermath of news stories dedicated to A FREAKING GOAT TIED UP IN A TRUNK JUST BECAUSE IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH FAVRE, perhaps the greatest development in this was MyFox New York’s decision to segue this story into a sport that dates back to 13th century Afghanistan. Because it involves goats, you see:
Goats also play a major role in Afghanistan’s national sport — Buzkashi. Translated into English, Buzkashi means “goat grabbing” or “goat killing.”
Not to be confused with the Irish national sport, Boozekakke.
And finally, no Internet story is complete without mention of fainting goats. They’re the Tarvaris Jackson of sacrificial goats!
Tags: captain caveman, F--K YOU BRETT FAVRE, goat bondage, obligatory Favre post, Ufford Photoshops
August 26th, 2009 at 12:21 am
is it wrong to want favre to die like in this?
http://www.bangcartoon.com/2008/retirement_options.htm
August 26th, 2009 at 12:43 am
at Tires Plus in Winona, Minnesota?
Yah, we’ve got that big statue out there.
Babe the blue ox.
Yah.
August 26th, 2009 at 12:52 am
Minnesota fan. Really. Fuck Brittfar!
August 26th, 2009 at 1:40 am
That’s the funniest video I’ve seen in some time. What a bunch of pansy, bitch-ass goats.
August 26th, 2009 at 2:16 am
I’m not exactly sure what my reaction is to this. A Vikings fan? A Packers fan? A Favre hater? Peter King associate? I’m flummoxed.
August 26th, 2009 at 3:42 am
A goat video without cliffs and eagles? Say it isn’t so.
August 26th, 2009 at 7:11 am
So we have now confirmed that Favre is indeed The Devil, or is that a Ram’s head that I’m thinking about?
August 26th, 2009 at 7:43 am
Where the hell is Darwin when you need him?
August 26th, 2009 at 8:08 am
Those fainting goats must have tought Reggie Bush how to run.
August 26th, 2009 at 8:14 am
Hey goat, I’m gonna beat your head in with a hickory stick
August 26th, 2009 at 8:23 am
Damn! That Buzkashi is one messed up “sport”!
National sport really? Really?
Have they not heard of the ball in that country?!!!
August 26th, 2009 at 8:25 am
I thought stoning infidels was Afghanistan’s national sport
August 26th, 2009 at 8:40 am
I read about Buzkashi somewhere years ago. Definitely a little like “running with the bulls”, “bullfighting” and “Fox hunt” on the list of semi barbaric to barbaric fun.
By comparison, football is much more sophisticated!
August 26th, 2009 at 8:54 am
Good night old man, Good night.
August 26th, 2009 at 8:58 am
HAVE GOOD MOSH PITTING!
August 26th, 2009 at 9:04 am
Fuck me in the goat ass! That thing is pointy fellas, you button hooked me.
August 26th, 2009 at 9:06 am
@flubby, crank it up fuckers.
August 26th, 2009 at 9:21 am
Does anyone else find it disturbing that the link to explain Buzkashi is to something called kidzworld? I was reading about the dead goat sport with ads for yugioh flying at me.
August 26th, 2009 at 10:31 am
So you’re saying the Native Americans would have called it a “Brett Farve Maize Maze”? Or a “Brett Farve Corn Maize”? Or maybe “Fucking DIE Already.”
August 26th, 2009 at 10:43 am
My parents own a fainting goat, it’s 100 times more hilarious in person. And yes, I was reminded of Tarvaris Jackson. Or more recently, Favre’s pass protection on Friday. Although fuckyoufavre.com is my favorite way Green Bayers have been coping with Favre’s Vikings run. This goat thing is a close second though.
August 26th, 2009 at 10:55 am
There is a lovely Buzkashi scene in Rambo III: Fuck You, Soviets. Nobody kills a goat quite like John Rambo.
August 26th, 2009 at 12:04 pm
so what happened to Punte?
August 26th, 2009 at 3:54 pm
Does this lady worship the Minnesota Goat-Headed Corn God or the Wisconsin Goat-Headed Corn God? There’s a huge difference.
August 26th, 2009 at 8:01 pm
Tom Brady called. He wants his goat back, goddamnit.
August 26th, 2009 at 10:27 pm
You’d faint too if some ‘neck was running around your yard, randomly opening a Brock-A-Brella.
August 31st, 2009 at 3:33 pm
Just an update on the Favre goat story: You reporters at this site have your facts wrong. The woman who trasported the goat is an realative of mine. She bought the goat to slaughter for food not for some dumb ritual. Also, she did not paint it or put the #4 on it, it was there when she bought it. There are many reports from local news stations on the internet that confirm this. Maybe the original story is not as glamorous as the one you reported, but that is what the truth is.
Anyone who wants to know more can google “Farve goat” and read the reports themselves. Maybe this website should get its facts right before it reports stories.