THAT TIME OF THE WEEK AGAIN. Send us your questions for the fantasy sex/football mailbag. Not tomorrow; tonight. Believe it or not, it actually takes several hours to sift through people writing hundreds of words about what their ex-girlfriend looks like and then give you thoughtful responses, so we’d appreciate some lead time here.
Also, this week only, any email that includes use of the 10-point scale to rate someone of the opposite sex will automatically be discarded. This week, in the interest of brevity that so few seem to master, you must use the binary scale: every person is either a 1 or a zero. You either want to do ‘em or you don’t.
Tags: Mailbag Reminders
August 26th, 2009 at 3:55 pm
Ground rules for the mailbag. I like it.
August 26th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
He left out the part about there being a minimum of six anal-related questions per week.
August 26th, 2009 at 4:05 pm
Since I’m using the Friday drafts as a guide, I see no problem in giving the readers here simple rules to follow.
August 26th, 2009 at 4:16 pm
I’m still not writing in. I’m moving to Hawaii next week where there will be a good portion of hot ass floating about – either living there or visiting. Any advice I seek from you kharakters will just involve alcohol and anonymous sex with hot visiting chicks. Which is my plan.
Any football advice will center around becoming a Redskins fan along with 95% of the people who live there cheering every Redskins opponents to injure Jason Campbell so Colt can play. And how painful it is to wake up at 8am to watch the Seahawks lose away games.
August 26th, 2009 at 4:16 pm
PS: feel free to hate on me though
August 26th, 2009 at 4:20 pm
@Pirate Sloth – fucker
August 26th, 2009 at 4:20 pm
Rule:
Anyone who ‘claims’ their wife, g/f, chick they’re banging is an 8 or higher must include a recent photo of said female for publication on KSK – ALSO, the less clothes on them the better.
August 26th, 2009 at 4:20 pm
@Pirate Sloth: I don’t hate. Wish you nothing but pain, misery and death, but don’t hate.
I hope you find all the 0s in Hawaii, and are forced to date only slump busters.
August 26th, 2009 at 4:29 pm
anyone else seeing a bit of Halle’s nip or is that just my wishful thinking?
August 26th, 2009 at 4:35 pm
Correct me if I’m wrong but….is that a nipple?
August 26th, 2009 at 4:36 pm
Hawaiian chicks can be really hot, but their 1-ness has a very short shelf life, much like Mexican and Russian girls. Scandinavian is a good ethnicity value-pick.
August 26th, 2009 at 4:36 pm
Binary scale is the only one that matters, anyways.
August 26th, 2009 at 4:37 pm
Gino, that comment showed insight AND foresight worthy of a soothsayer.
August 26th, 2009 at 4:38 pm
yep that’s some nip
I was too busy checking her “o” face to see it
August 26th, 2009 at 4:48 pm
The Binary scale is where it is all at.
Are they hittable: Y/N
Do you want to have sex with me: Y/N
That’s all you need. A 7 that wants to get it on and is into it, is an infinitely better pick than a 10 who is an ice queen.
For you younglings that don’t believe me, go on and go find yourself some hot cheerleader, model or whatever who ha sa shitty personality and date her for a bit. After that you’ll realize physical beauty is a binary scale and sex drive is the key factor.
August 26th, 2009 at 5:13 pm
@Rob in WI:
Slumo’s!!!!
August 26th, 2009 at 5:17 pm
The Catholic church approves of the message being sent by the title of the previous post directly above the Halle .gif.
August 26th, 2009 at 5:30 pm
What in god’s name is that .gif from? I’m am in favor of it.
August 26th, 2009 at 5:46 pm
Hard Knocks blogkakke tonight?
August 26th, 2009 at 6:34 pm
The binary code system goes lockstep with everyones favorite Toyota Commercial from last year…
“Dear KSK,
Please help!….I baaaaaaaanged a zeeeeeeero. banged a zero! banged a zero! …does this means she liked me?!?!?!?”
August 26th, 2009 at 7:23 pm
Would a threesome be a 10?
August 26th, 2009 at 7:35 pm
@Suarez
No a threesome would be an 11
/pushes glasses up nose
August 26th, 2009 at 7:48 pm
I may be railing a 0, but I’m imagining a 1.
August 26th, 2009 at 7:53 pm
It’s a shadow of a nipple
August 26th, 2009 at 8:16 pm
I won’t be the killjoy that tells Pirate Sloth about a colleague that lived in Hawai’i for three years and really could not stand it, should I?
Oh hells yea! He said it was expensive, and he hated it and could not wait to get back to the mainland.
August 26th, 2009 at 8:16 pm
P.S.
Good luck!
August 26th, 2009 at 8:56 pm
Also, I dont know if you are white Pirate Sloth, but a lot of the local’s hate mainlander’s. You have to be careful of where you go because you might get killed….have fun!!!! Then again, you might bang some hot chick from the show LOST, which would be pretty cool.
August 27th, 2009 at 3:42 am
I liked the part when you could see Halle Berry’s nipple
August 27th, 2009 at 4:23 am
@John
Monster’s Ball. She got banged from behind by Sling Blade, so she won an Oscar!
August 27th, 2009 at 6:04 am
Binary scale? As long as they’re bipedal I’m down with it.
August 27th, 2009 at 9:46 am
She got banged from behind on Monster’s Ball, too
August 27th, 2009 at 10:16 am
@SafetyDan: Yep, that sums it up pretty well. Hot cheerleaders with shitty personalities suck.
August 27th, 2009 at 11:12 am
@ Pacman – Folksy Racism already said that
@ Folksy Racism – she got banged in all the positions, not just behind.. absolutely oscar worthy
August 27th, 2009 at 2:20 pm
Areola? Areola.
August 27th, 2009 at 2:22 pm
The complexities of the human organism, our social mores and mating rituals requires a scale far more nunaced than the “One or Two” proposed by the authors. Years of research by professionals has produced the Dres-Jorg scale: One=Yes; Two=Yes, if I’m fucked up; Three=No, regardless of how drunk I am.
Halle Berry=One
My used-to-be-fucking-smokin-hot-fifteen-years-ago-before-she had-three-kids-and-put-on weight sister-in-law=Two
Nancy Pelosi=Three
August 27th, 2009 at 2:39 pm
I thoght that might be from Zane’s Sex Chronicles.
All purple curtains look the same…
August 27th, 2009 at 5:20 pm
The chick I’m banging? She’s a perfect 1010.
/fixes tape around bridge of glasses