BECAUSE IT WOULD HAVE BEEN AWKWARD IF HE WERE IN THE SUPER BOWL IN MIAMI. Just kidding! He’s on the Browns. Anyway, The Rog has brought the ginger hammer down on Donte’ Stallworth, suspending the receiver for the entire 2009 season following a guilty plea for DUI manslaughter. Most people had guessed the suspension would be in the eight to 12 game range, but if you’re gonna go 3/4 of the season, you might as well go the whole hog and try to dispel all the lingering bitterness about leniency toward Leonard Little. Plus it saves the Browns from possibly padding their win total in December and screwing up their draft placement. Win-win! And, hey, if Donte’ has more problems with DUIs, WE GOT SCOOTERS!
Tags: Donte Stallworth, quick hit... and run, the rog, yes we know it wasn't actually a hit and run
August 13th, 2009 at 10:37 am
Leonard Little is appalled by this suspension.
“quick hit…and run” tag is so wrong, but it feels so right.
August 13th, 2009 at 10:43 am
That’s ok, Browns fans. You’re spared having a lightning fast receiver who will drive you crazy with his incredible bouts of butterfingers.
Oh wait…you guys got Braylon Edwards. My bad.
/lived through Donte’ and his injuries/dropsies.
August 13th, 2009 at 11:12 am
“I’M A LITTLE WOUNDED, BUT I’M NOT SLAIN; I WILL LAY ME DOWN 4A WHILE 2 BLEED, THEN I’LL RISE & FIGHT WITH YOU AGAIN”
I bet Mario Reyes wishes he could say that.
August 13th, 2009 at 11:17 am
Roger’s power continues to be out of control…
August 13th, 2009 at 11:19 am
Apparently Goodell is still sore over the whole “passed over by Sotomayor” thing.
I can’t wait for someone to get fully acquitted and suspended anyway, Mountain Landis-style.
/Stallworth deserves the year though
August 13th, 2009 at 11:29 am
Stallworth can now devote his full energies to opening up the driving school he’s been dreaming of.
August 13th, 2009 at 11:41 am
Why is it when someone like Goodell is tough with the suspensions, he’s branded as a power mad psycho? But if he sits back and doesn’t do enough, he’s an idiot or a softie. What’s wrong with being tough on some of these out of control pricks who feel they can do anything they want because they have money and high priced lawyers? I would prefer to have someone like Parcells be a commish. Leonard Little would never fucking play in this league again. What’s wrong with meting out tough punishment? “Ooh my feeling are hurt, he yelled at me, he’s so mean”. Grow the fuck up, be a man and be responsible for your fucking actions. Maybe next time these fuckers will think twice before they do stupid shit.
/end rant
//dick joke
August 13th, 2009 at 11:51 am
@dm72… ironically, I guess, at least Donte’ has manned up about it, shown actual remorse for what happened (I don’t think he’s that good an actor anyway) and will probably accept his punishment without saying anything.
Fuck Leonard Little.
August 13th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
VINCE NEIL KILLED A GUY
August 13th, 2009 at 12:53 pm
@ Sherrif Gonna Getcha
What, Donte’ should have gotten off with a warning because Rog didn’t specifically say “Don’t drink and drive AND kill a pedestrian?” Really?
August 13th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
The Rog’s dick is bigger than yours Donte. I’m sure he’ll sit out the year like a man…but I’m so pissed that the Rog wasn’t the commish when Leonard Little was going around killing people. He would have given that fool the concrete boots treatment.
It’s not like the Browns were going to be good anyway.
August 13th, 2009 at 12:58 pm
VINCE NEIL KILLED A GUY
He also made the 2nd least interesting sex tape in history. But we won’t hold that against him.
August 13th, 2009 at 1:37 pm
“Roger’s power continues to be out of control…”
Well, until Roger’s power is SO out of control that it starts mowing down pedestrians I say “hard cheese”, Stallworth.
[/28days=WTF???]
August 13th, 2009 at 2:00 pm
@RBP
The first least interesting being the Tonya Harding one, right?
/saw it
//ashamed
August 13th, 2009 at 2:33 pm
“yes we know it wasn’t actually a hit and run”
Dante was too drunk to run.
August 13th, 2009 at 2:33 pm
Donte too.
August 13th, 2009 at 3:11 pm
Even before this shit happened, I don’t think anyone in Cleveland was seriously concerned about Stallworth helping to pad our win total. I mean, that hamstring is STILL flaring up – the poor man can’t operate the brakes on his Bentley properly.
August 13th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
Considering the Browns actually *gasp* planned for the future and drafted Robiskie and Massaquoi under the assumption Stallworth would be spending the year playing in the Florida Penal League, this really won’t affect things too much. I wouldn’t have been shocked had Stallworth come back and found himself fourth on the depth chart on opening day.
And that’s not so much praise towards Robiskie and Massaquoi as it is a jab at Stallworth, but hey, could be worse. We could be waiting for Crabtree to quit being a bitch.