This Week In F—k You: JOE KLEIN
We’re in the slowest stretch of the offseason now: the dreaded post-draft period. There’s no football on, and there won’t be football on for quite some time. You’re angry. You’re hateful. We understand. At KSK, we’re hateful too. Of all things, at all times. Hating is what we do best. So, in that spirit, we present you with the weekly off-topic/offseason feature…
THIS WEEK IN FUCK YOU.
Every week or so, we’ll be taking our lack-of-football-related depression out on any number of deserving targets: people, things, abstract ideas, group dinners, etc. It’s just the kind of cathartic invective we excel at. This week, Time columnist Joe Klein.
Political columnists. They are the single most annoying class of person on earth, ranking just below Christian motivational speakers and the homeless. They bitch about jeans. They make no fucking sense. They share a common goal of aggressively boring you into submission. This is not an ideological characteristic among them. Liberal or conservative, these people are all the absolute shit-sucking worst that humanity has to offer. But there is one that somehow manages to stand out even amongst the sewage. I speak, of course, of Time columnist and professional cocksmuggler, Joe Klein.
You might remember Joe from the time he anonymously wrote a book that you didn’t read, which was subsequently made into a John Travolta movie you didn’t watch. Those are both relatively harmless offenses. But I’d like to direct you to a column he wrote about a year ago with regards to air conditioning, an article so profoundly obnoxious, it ranks right up with Simmons’ “No one congratulated me for the Pats beating the Chargers” column and Wilbon’s “I hate the NFL Draft” column for rage-inducing annoyance. A year later, it still bothers the shit out of me, and it takes great doucheterity to be able to pull of such a feat.
I, of course, am on the record in my full support of air conditioning. Klein, however, feels differently. And not only is he against air conditioning, but he uses reams of column space to tell you just how great of a person that makes him. Let’s go to the offending item.
Kill Your Air Conditioner
On the weekend of the summer solstice, my wife and I went to a wedding in New England. The weather was perfect — mid-70s, sunny, with an exquisite whisper of breeze.
Well, that sounds downright lovely, Joe.
We stayed at a classic little inn… classic except for the air-conditioning blasting through the lobby.
ZOMG! This is terrible! A classic New England bed and breakfast desecrated with MODERN AMENITIES? This is not the true Colonial experience I paid for on my summer solstice! Look at this food! It’s clearly been refrigerated!
/spits out heirloom tomato
I asked the innkeeper why he felt the need to refrigerate when the weather outside was so amenable. “I wish we didn’t. It’s expensive. I’d love to keep the temperature about 75,” he told me, “but the guests demand it.”
And there you have it. EVIL human guests, who almost are certainly responsible for the murder of Bambi’s mom, are so airthirsty that they are suffocating the poor innkeeper with 69 degree temperatures and proper ventilation.
The unnecessary refrigeration of America has become a chronic disease.
It’s true! We’re airoholics!
It seems to have gotten worse over the past few years, with thermostats routinely set at 68deg.F, and sometimes even 65 deg., in the (far too many) hotel rooms I’ve suffered on the campaign trail.
Ah, poor baby. You had to suffer through sleeping in an account-expensed hotel room that’s a touch cool. I BET YOUR ROOM DIDN’T EVEN HAVE A BRAUN COFFEEMAKER IN IT.
“Americans seem to keep their houses cooler in summer than they do in the winter,” muses Edward Parson, an environmental expert at the University of Michigan Law School.
I have a law in my life, and that is that anyone who “muses” on anything is a douchebag. This also goes for anyone who is “bemused” at the sight of anything. “Let me muse on how these horrible people’s love of air conditioning bemuses me.” DIE.
But it’s hard to know for sure, since there are no comprehensive studies that measure air-conditioning trend lines.
That’s because NO ONE GIVES A SHIT EXCEPT YOU.
I will confess a bias here.
Oh, really? Bias? From a political reporter? I’m stunned.
I love warm weather, even when it slouches toward humidity. I detest the harsh, slightly metallic quality of the air forced through even the fanciest AC systems.
Here’s another law for you folks out there. If the only thing left to bitch about in your life is this “metallic” quality of your air conditioning, then life is pretty solid. If you suddenly decide to become an air critic, demanding higher quality oxygen around you, as if it is an entrée being presented to you at Per Se, then you may be out of touch with other people.
The only air conditioner I own sits, unused, in my car;
Oooh, look at how awesome I am! I don’t use things! I think of the innkeepers! That makes me better than you!
But you do DRIVE that car? BECAUSE PETER KING DOESN’T DRIVE HIS!
my home is happily unrefrigerated. But given the energy mess we’re in, I can now gild my personal preference with a patina of high-mindedness: air-conditioning is bad for the planet, and for national security, and for our balance-of-payments deficit.
You see what Klein does here? He goes so far as to ANNOUNCE to you that he’s being a complete douchebag about this. “I hate air conditioning. And now that the world is conveniently melting, I get to be a bossy dick about it. Yay, me!” This is a classic dick move, announcing your own dickishness. But it gets even worse.
Unfortunately, it is not as bad as I’d like it to be
Okay, so it’s bad for the planet, but it’s not THAT bad. And you wish it was WORSE for the planet so that you could REALLY give people shit about it.
— in part because not all of our electricity is provided by fossil fuels (although coal does predominate). And also because air-conditioning represents a relatively small slice of our energy use, an estimated 4%.
SO WHAT THE FUCK IS THE PROBLEM, YOU HAIRY SHIT? You don’t like aircon? Fine. Go sit in your stupid fucking car and sweat to your heart’s content. But leave me and my beloved Siemens out of this.
But that’s still pretty egregious.
But you just said it wasn’t!
We used an estimated 4 quadrillion British thermal units on air-conditioning in 2006, which is more than the total energy usage of all but 21 countries. And a fair amount of that is peak usage — the sort that sends the electric grid crackling toward brownouts and meltdowns and increases the demand for the construction of more electric power plants (and the pollution they spew — unless they use renewable sources like hydropower or, as John McCain correctly insists, nuclear power, which should be carefully reconsidered). “A lot of utilities supplement their main power sources with quick-acting oil- or gas-driven generators on the hottest days of the year,” says Lee Schipper of the University of California, Berkeley. Schipper estimates the cost of peak usage is 20 cents per kW-h, as opposed to an average of 13 cents for “baseload capacity” usage, and it is far more carbon-intense because it is generated by oil or gas.
Schipper also estimates a savings of 4% for every degree warmer you push your thermostat. If you’re set at 70deg.F now and move it to 75deg.—a comfortable, if slightly chilly number to my mind—you save 20% of the cost and energy of your air-conditioning bill.
Okay, so why not phrase the opening of your little article, “Hey, an easy way to maybe save some money and help our energy crisis may be to watch our thermostats.” Instead of, “You people are fucking AIR PIGS, and I am not. And your taste in oxygen is subpar at best. Let me show you all the ways YOU ARE BEING A COCK.” You see the difference in attitudes there? You see why I’m inclined to not listen to any of your research because you spent the first few paragraphs of your little diatribe being such an overwhelming cocksnot?
Let’s just skip to the end.
I’d like to see both candidates call for an immediate 5deg.F thermostat adjustment
And I assume you’d like to see them banned in all cozy seaside inns. What are you gonna do if I jack up the AC after coming back from an hour outside in DC’s 4,000 percent humidity, Joe? You gonna give me a demerit? What about the elderly? Should they be sweating out precious IV fluids just because you think it’ll teach us all a nice lesson?
…just to get the conservation ball rolling — and because it would be a “personal virtue” for each candidate to ask it of us. And I’d like to wish you all a nice, warmer summer.
GAHHHH! THE SMUG! CAN’T… TAKE… IT…
Hey look, I enjoy saving the planet and being a “virtuous” person or whatever the fuck that means. But you political columnists out there will never get me to do a fucking thing so long as every column your write drips with self-congratulatory bullshit. “Look at me! I have such great ideas!” FUCK YOU. Die in a restaurant walk-in freezer.
Tags: aircon roolz, Big Daddy Drew, DUCK!, FJM style, here comes the PoFlaWa, this week in f--k you
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July 16th, 2009 at 10:18 am
FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
July 16th, 2009 at 10:27 am
I want to cram a window unit in his ass, and set it to 65.
July 16th, 2009 at 10:32 am
Did this fuckwad even spend ONE MINUTE in Arkansas in the summer of ‘92? Yesterday it was 98 degrees with FUCKING 60% HUMIDITY! My kid mowed the lawn in the late evening, and I swear he grew gills just to breathe. And yesterday wasn’t an anomaly — it’s EVERY DAY IN JUNE, JULY, AND AUGUST.
My office thermostat is set at 68 degrees. The courtroom next door is set at 66 (Hizzoner tends to get warmish in the Black Robe of Justice.). I drink in this metallic air like it is the nectar of the gods and if you don’t like it? That’s why God invented jackets, asshole.
July 16th, 2009 at 10:38 am
Jacko – make sure to send him a new package of panty liners while you are at it. Being cold and complaining about air conditioning is, by and large, a double XX chromosome thing.
July 16th, 2009 at 10:39 am
I live in South fucking Georgia Joe. I am an expert on a little something called the dew point. It’s currently 72 while the air temp is 82 and heading for 95. That’s a solid 9.5 on a ten-point crotch sweat inducing scale. Without AC, there will be new strains of viral DNA erupting from my shorts. And as much as I’d like to bottle them up and release them in your car like David Morse in 12 Monkeys, I’d rather not end civilization as we know it and just crank the AC down and not sweat to death.
I’ll give Klein this much, most fatties love the AC. They’re why restaurants and hotels feel like a ski slope. Fucking fatties.
July 16th, 2009 at 10:41 am
FUCK THAT FUCKING CUNT.
YEA, SUMMER IN THE FUCKING NORTHEAST DIPSHIT. LIVE IN TEXAS WHERE IT GETS TO BE 105 EASY, AND YOU WALK OUT YOUR DOOR AND IT FEELS LIKE A WALL, AND THAT WALL FEELS LIKE AN OVEN, AND THAT OVEN HAS YOU PARCHED AND STAGGERING BEFORE YOU CAN EVEN JUMP IN YOUR CAR. I REMEMBER THE GOOD OLD DAYS OF FOOTBALL PRACTICE IN THAT SHIT AND THEY COULDN’T CALL IT OFF UNLESS THE HEAT INDEX HIT 105. WE’D ALL BE IN THE HUDDLE PRAYING FOR MORE HEAT WHEN IT FELT LIKE 103-104.
OR GO TO FLORIDA WHERE YOU DON’T BREATH THE AIR, YOU FUCKING DRINK IT. IF YOU DON’T HAVE AN AC IN FLORIDA YOU ARE LEFT WITH A PUDDLE OF SWEAT WHERE YOU SAT. FUCK YOU. FRANKLY I DON’T MIND FLORIDA BECAUSE AT LEAST I DO SWEAT AND IT DOESN’T EVAPORATE OFF ME LIKE TEXAS.
AND MID 70′S AND BREEZY IS NOT FUCKING SUMMER ASSHOLE.
July 16th, 2009 at 10:48 am
I’d like to see that shitstick last even 4 months in Miami in our average hot, sweaty, swamp-ass conditions. He’ll be sucking dick in Little Haiti for a 10 second air con blast in no time. Dick.
July 16th, 2009 at 10:49 am
I’ve said it once, but I’ll say it again. Drew, your hate sustains me. Never stop, never ever stop.
/cranks AC
July 16th, 2009 at 10:50 am
Seriously, tell this Prius driving douche to move to Arizona and see how much he hates a.c.
July 16th, 2009 at 10:51 am
Joe Klein is pro-legalization of marijuana. So let’s not fuck him entirely.
July 16th, 2009 at 10:52 am
I am presently wearing a Columbia fleece over my regular work attire. My multi thousand square foot office building is new, but not perfect. Our area is colder than I care for, but other areas are just on the verge of sweat zones….so I deal. I bitch, put on my fleece and deal.
I would love the HVAC genius’ of this world to solve this problem but it doesn’t happen. I have worked in office buildings for 22 years and so far none of them ever quite had control of two sides of a building at once. Oh well.
So Joe, you who thinks you think for the rest of us? Bite me.
July 16th, 2009 at 10:52 am
I’ve seen Mr. Klein, in the summer, in NYC, in a limo, with the windows closed, which I would presume to mean the ac was on and cranking
so he can suck it, his defense of the legalization of weed notwithstanding (Time, 4/2/09)
July 16th, 2009 at 10:53 am
i remember the summer of 1995 when I was 10 years old and living in NYC. we were too poor to afford an AC and it hit 105 that day, not even taking into account what the humidity added to it. I remember lying on the kitchen floor because it was slightly cooler there. cold showers were useless because you’d be sweaty before you could even get out of the tub. Now i have an air conditioner and i will use it all i fucking want. i suffer enough waiting for the train in a hot, muggy, and crowded subway station. once I get home if i want to turn my AC all the way up and stand in front of it for five minutes, i will. so Fuck You!!!
July 16th, 2009 at 10:54 am
“Americans seem to keep their houses cooler in summer than they do in the winter,” muses Edward Parson, an environmental expert at the University of Michigan Law School.
This might be the most obvious statement in the history of obvious statements. This cockhorse had to go to law school to figure that out.
July 16th, 2009 at 10:56 am
In my job I used to travel…it was always Maine in the winter and Mobile in the summer by luck of the draw it seemed. Leaving the Mobile airport on a hot sunny July afternoon felt like gills were necessary….heat index 106 that day I believe.
July 16th, 2009 at 11:01 am
You know what i have in my new car? Air conditioned seats. Not only do i crank up the AC blowing in my face on hot days, i crank up the air blowing on my ass. And it’s fucking great. It’s the pinnacle of modern civilization, as far as i’m concerned. Joe can kiss my air conditioned ass.
July 16th, 2009 at 11:03 am
What about running your heater? Because I DON’T run my heater in the winter. However, it’s going to be over 100 for every single day in July here.
Furthermore, in today’s cars, NOT running the AC is akin to NOT playing your radio. Which is to say, the difference in power usage is irrelevant.
July 16th, 2009 at 11:04 am
rb: For real? Never heard of them. Heated yes. Cool….
July 16th, 2009 at 11:06 am
Klein does know that people die from heat exhaustion, right? Four people died in Memphis in June. I wonder what their families would think if they read his article.
July 16th, 2009 at 11:07 am
@RB I would kill for some of those seats. I can sweat through a suit while driving. Being a disgusting sweat bag in a job interview may not define clutch.
July 16th, 2009 at 11:09 am
Joe Klein can, indeed, get fucked. One request though…A warning, please, before linking to a site like Firedoglake. I’m at work and can’t shower. Thanks.
July 16th, 2009 at 11:11 am
Eh, I agree that people keep it too cold, but that’s it. If he lived in Texas, he wouldn’t be bitching about A/C. He’d be praising it as the greatest innovation since penicillin. He’d make sweet, sweet love to the air vents in his car, and feel no shame.
I think David Brooks is a bigger douchebag, but yeah, Klein is a pretty close second.
I think that besides the mailbag, This Week in Fuck You is my favorite feature. I wish we could have it every day. I have so much hate to give.
July 16th, 2009 at 11:12 am
Yes, there are little holes in the seats, and air blows through them on your ass and back. I wish i could say it wasn’t so, but that may have been the top reason we bought this particular car. I wish i had a couch that did this. It’s got heated too, but since i live in GA, i can’t see that coming in as handy.
July 16th, 2009 at 11:20 am
What a pathetic faggot. Maybe he likes sweaty balls, that fucking disgusting stain in the armpit of his shirt, and generally being a pathetic smug bastard, but the rest of us don’t. I’d rather just turn on the fucking AC and not have to feel like I’m living in a 3rd world shithole when I don’t.
Also, where in the fuck is it mid 70s and breezy during the summer? Oh wait, at all those cozy beach-side inns you go to. Fuck you, Joe Klein. Live a week in the Southwest or South in the middle of July and tell me that the AC isn’t fucking necessary. I’ll be looking forward to your obituary, asshole.
July 16th, 2009 at 11:22 am
Wow what an ass…
And how the hell is 75 chilly. I sweat balls at 73.
He should move to Peru, nobody has AC here. He’d be perfect.
July 16th, 2009 at 11:23 am
Next Week in Fuck You: Danny Schays
July 16th, 2009 at 11:26 am
99 degrees today. Heat index of 110 out there.
If you think I’m moving my thermostat or shutting off the AC, you’re out of your damned mind.
Joe Klein – proof that the North East seems to be breeding nothing but self-centered asshats.
July 16th, 2009 at 11:26 am
I think David Brooks is a bigger douchebag, but yeah, Klein is a pretty close second.
Yes, and yes.
Brooks is the elitist asshat who said Obama wouldn’t be at home at the salad bar at Applebee’s … which only proved Brooks had never been in a fucking Applebee’s, because they have no goddamn salad bar. Every time I see that douche with his lesbian glasses, I hear Spaulding Smails from Caddyshack: “Ahoy, polloi!”
July 16th, 2009 at 11:30 am
” Look at this food! It’s clearly been refrigerated!
/spits out heirloom tomato”
Drew, nothing against AC, but do you refrigerate tomatoes? Way to destroy your $5/lb deliciousness.
July 16th, 2009 at 11:43 am
I thought for sure this would be about Joe Kleine, the ex-basketball player and most worthless person to ever receive a NBA championship ring.
Imagine my mix of chagrin and delight when I learned who it really was about.
July 16th, 2009 at 11:44 am
“No pleasure, no rapture, no exquisite sin greater… than central air.” -Azrael
July 16th, 2009 at 11:47 am
@Grimey: FUCK! You beat me to the punch. Can we agree on Jim McIlvaine and call it even?
July 16th, 2009 at 11:51 am
RB: I live where it gets to 22 with windchill of 0 and I envy my heated seats friends…oh the love for heated seats. My friend has also bought her vehicle with the heated seats a high factor in priority.
July 16th, 2009 at 11:55 am
I bet he has his heat set at 85 for the winter, WHEN THE US USES 5 TIMES MORE ENERGY FOR HEATING.
(/too lazy to look up actual number)
P.S. BDD, you bemuse me.
July 16th, 2009 at 11:55 am
As I sit in at my desk, wearing the pair of jeans that once saved me from getting burned by a major chemical spill and wishing our AC was cranked even lower, I can’t help but say fuck you to each and every political columnist out there.
Seriously, remove the dicks from your assholes people.
July 16th, 2009 at 11:56 am
It’s nice to know that the guy who didn’t have the balls to put his name on the book he wrote that was obviously a reference to the Clinton campaign is now a fucking climate expert. You want to smugly sniff your own farts, that’s fine, but don’t bore us with your self-congratulatory columns on it later.
Air conditioning and opposable thumbs are the only things separating us from other mammals.
July 16th, 2009 at 11:57 am
There is no greater pleasure in life than walking into an ice cold subway car, after standing on a sauna, Africa-hot platform.
And by the way Mr. Klein. Driving you car with the windows down is actually less fuel efficient than using the AC, so suck it.
July 16th, 2009 at 12:07 pm
Whatever bitches, I’ll say it: if you can’t handle 74 degrees in an office, you’re a pussy. I live in DC, and it’s still pretty goddamn stupid to go from sweltering heat to AC that freezes my sweat once I get to work. This in no way means that Joe Klein isn’t a dick.
July 16th, 2009 at 12:10 pm
If it weren’t for AC, I would have murdered my family years ago. Trying to sleep when it’s hot and humid? That’s umpossible.
July 16th, 2009 at 12:12 pm
When reading Klein is anyone else reminded of David Cross’s character at the 1:15 mark in this Mr. Show clip? I’m pretty sure in one episode he renounces air conditioning as well. Klein’s a dick.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCumH8LRo1A
July 16th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
Meeting the boss for a quick working lunch but will spew fiyaaah at this asshole Klein when I return.
WTF?!?!?
July 16th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
But it’s a dry heat.
July 16th, 2009 at 12:30 pm
@ Grimey, NovakAin’tnoJokovic
You fuckers beat me to the obvious jokes about obscure NBA centers. If Yinka Dare were still alive, he’d write a douchey column about this. I guess I’ll just have to call Jon Koncak.
July 16th, 2009 at 12:33 pm
But is the air sultry?
July 16th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
Dear Drew,
I write a sports blog that has the word Musings in the title, mainly because it is alliterative to the rest of the title…and I couldn’t think of anything else. I hope this does not make me a douchebag too.
Francois
PS: This bag of smugma needs to be tied to an A/C unit and thrown to the bottom of the fucking ocean.
July 16th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
I live in Portland now and we don’t get humidity which is awesome but I used to live in Chicago. I believe that over 200 people died due to heat related causes in the summer of 2000. They are the heroes who died in order to follow Joe’s AC edict.
July 16th, 2009 at 1:24 pm
I don’t care for AC either but I don’t feel the need to tell other people about it. Of course, I’ve never in a part of the US where the summers get that hot. Still, get fucked JK.
July 16th, 2009 at 1:42 pm
If Joe Klein was struck and killed by Sears delivery truck full of air conditioners that would be sweet poetic justice. We can only hope this happens soon. Look, I was raised in the NE and appreciate A/C as much as the next guy. I know this nice weather we’re having now won’t last and I’m sure I’ll see people with ass crack sweat stains in August when God decides to even things out and crank the heat to 95 with 90% humidity just for laughs.
That being said, A/C is what allows us to not go on some time of murderous rioting spree like in “Do The Right Thing” or in LA during the Rodney King riots. If more people had A/C in LA, they’d be too goddamn comfortable and content to go out and go looting and shit, but I digress.
Joe Klein and eat a dick up till he hiccups. Go enjoy your nice little New England B&B you taintlicker, the rest of civilized society will be too busy enjoying the A/C and won’t come kill you in your sleep because we’re too comfortable at 68 degrees.
July 16th, 2009 at 2:13 pm
“Conservation” is installing efficiency measures so that people can enjoy the same level of comfort and utility while using less energy input. Installing a more energy efficient AC unit would be a conservation measure.
Calling for government to mandate everyone turn down their thermostats by five degrees isn’t, “getting the conservation ball rolling.” It’s being a pissy little bitch.
July 16th, 2009 at 2:24 pm
I’ll take my sunny and 80 degree summer days anytime over your shitty 100 degree 100 percent humidity bullshit. I have central a/c at home and don’t use it. It’s called a nice breeze from the West right through my whole fucking house. And a pool. And don’t get me started about winter. I keep my house at 62. It’s called pants and long sleeves assholes. Don’t show up to my house in shorts and a tee shirt in fucking January then bitch that my house is cold.
/end rant
I did visit a friend in Virginia one June. We went out in Georgetown for his birthday and I thought I was gonna die from the heat and humidity. I’ll concede that ac is a necessity in most of the country, but I’m on the side that you don’t need to keep it below 70. STOP KILLING THE PLANET WITH YOUR FOSSIL FUEL BURNING ELECTRICITY GENERATING AC GREED!
/still waiting for summer
July 16th, 2009 at 2:26 pm
Do degree days apply to summer and a/c?
July 16th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
Know who likes air-conditioning? Maureen Dowd.
July 16th, 2009 at 3:02 pm
I am currently experiencing the ball-sweat and swamp-ass joys of a central Florida summer. I really hate smug fucktards who have the balls to tell me to ‘reduce my carbon footprint’. Fuck. You. I actually like the heat and cannot stand the cold. I’ll put on a sweater the same instance this cockhound turns up his heat, ‘but only 5 degrees’. DIE.
July 16th, 2009 at 3:57 pm
I am currently experiencing the ball-sweat and swamp-ass joys of a central Florida summer. I really hate smug fucktards who have the balls to tell me to ‘reduce my carbon footprint’. Fuck. You. I actually like the heat and cannot stand the cold. I’ll put on a sweater the same instance this cockhound turns up his heat, ‘but only 5 degrees’. DIE.
PS: Wanted to say good post!
July 16th, 2009 at 4:02 pm
@JAFO
Yea, central Florida here too. I don’t mind the heat, hell I go running during the days on the weekend, but I like coming home, having it cool, taking a shower, and NOT sweating my ass off before I can even get some clothes on.
I remember as a kid NOT having AC, and my parents and aunt fighting over the ice dispenser because it was so ungodly hot. Fun times.
July 16th, 2009 at 4:03 pm
As someone who enjoys cool weather and can hardly stand anything higher than 80 degrees, I’ll chime in a “FUCK YOU” to Mr. Klein as well.
July 16th, 2009 at 4:32 pm
Just to piss Joe Klein off, I am going to break into my on-vacation neighbor’s apartment and run their AC at 66 until they get back.
I am also going to sleep in there.
July 16th, 2009 at 4:46 pm
“Americans seem to keep their houses cooler in summer than they do in the winter”
-Edward Parson, an environmental expert at the University of Michigan Law School.
Edward Parson: John Madden of environmental experts.
I guess drawing dicks on a screen and stating the obvious is enough to get you a cushy teaching position, too.
July 16th, 2009 at 4:46 pm
1. I am embarassed to admit that I subscribe to Time
2. I am hard pressed to remember a month where I don’t think what a Douche Klein is one paragraph into his rhetoric.
3. Hopefully when he goes to fucking hell it will be warm enough for him.
July 16th, 2009 at 4:51 pm
Also, in response to those poor, suffering residents of Central Florida: I live in the Dallas area. It was 107 yesterday. My car overheated while it wasn’t even running. At least you have a beach within walking distance.
/as you were
July 16th, 2009 at 5:12 pm
Fuck, and I thought Minnesota summer humidity was bad. The South sounds like the absolute hell I have always imagined it to be!
July 16th, 2009 at 5:13 pm
“Joel Klein can eat a dick”
-the 3,000 Parisians without air conditioning who died of heat stroke in the summer of 2003
July 16th, 2009 at 5:20 pm
@Michael Vick’s Kennel Klub
Lived in Arlington for five years, I know the drill.
July 16th, 2009 at 5:46 pm
@the cheese: Apparently over 14,000 French died during 2003. I hope they weren’t listening to Klein’s advice then too.
http://www.usatoday.com/weather/news/2003-09-25-france-heat_x.htm
July 16th, 2009 at 6:05 pm
“or, as John McCain correctly insists, nuclear power, which should be carefully reconsidered).”
I’m in favor of nuclear power because I care SO DEEPLY ABOUT THE EARTH.
July 16th, 2009 at 7:17 pm
You all make strong points, but I can simply conclude that anyone who types out “British Thermal Units” instead of “BTUs” is a complete fucking shithead
July 16th, 2009 at 9:37 pm
@Rocco, that’s nice that you have a pool and a nice breeze from the West to cool down your whole fucking house, but excuse the rest of us for not having that. You smug bastard. “Oh, I have Central AC and I don’t use it.” Want a fucking medal? You’re no better than Joe Klein.
Oh, and that’s real nice that you keep your shithole at a brisk 62 degrees at all times, then expect your guests not to say they’re cold.
July 16th, 2009 at 11:46 pm
“Joe Klein is pro-legalization of marijuana. So let’s not fuck him entirely.”
And apparently that is the only redeeming idea this cockslot has ever had.
/swampass currently in full effect
//AC set at 78 cause the wife gets cold easily
///if it’s any colder she sleeps in my ass
////FUCK summer in FLA
July 17th, 2009 at 12:49 am
Joe Klein needs to get his fuckin’ ass to southern Iraq A.S.A.P.
He would surely shit in his hat and wear it after suffering from brain damage caused by the sun’s(respect IT!!!) scorching hot ass-fire that is on display in Basrah, Bucca, Nasariyah and Tallil.
Fuck you, Joe Klein.
July 17th, 2009 at 3:31 am
Let’s not forget that A/C has another benefit besides keeping you cool…it also filters out allergens and make it easier to breathe for those who suffer respiratory ailments. I live in one of the worst places in the country for allergies, and I’m sure a lot of people who live around here would have serious problems if they were to go without their A/C at Joe Klein’s humble request.
July 17th, 2009 at 9:28 am
@Some Guy: I turn the heat up when people are over. But it does piss me off when it’s fucking 2 degrees out and someone says they’re cold, yet they’re wearing short sleeves. I apologize for coming off as smug.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:17 am
WHAT A TWAT … if i’m talking to someone and they mention the words “summer solstice,” i will stomp the fucking shit out of them. if anyone wants to live in south florida for more than five minutes without a/c, they deserve the grisly, heat stroke-y death they will eventually recieve.
July 17th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
“A lot of utilities supplement their main power sources with quick-acting oil- or gas-driven generators on the hottest days of the year,” says Lee Schipper of the University of California, Berkeley
Bit late, but this is absolute bullshit. I work for a power company, and this is now how power generation capacity is determined or used.
A power company bases its generating requirement off peak usage plus a certain percentage (usually plus 7%, but this varies by state, as certain states require a bigger surplus in generating capacity, much to power companies’ chagrin.)
This means that during peak times, either in the middle of summer or the middle of winter, customers demand an X amount of power, and power companies have the capacity to generate X+7% power.
Hottest days of the year don’t suddenly require extra capacity, because an air conditioning doesn’t suddenly need more power on a hotter day. It typically just runs longer, but that makes no difference for peak power required. Ergo, the idea that on the hottest days of the year, power companies suddenly start up old shitty diesel engines to generate power is just plain fucking bullshit. The only time such generators would ever come online is if a major portion of their current generating capacity fails, and then those old crappy things ONLY get turned on if they can’t quickly buy the energy from a neighboring grid.
As for why peak power usage is more expensive than off-peak usage, it’s because of SUPPLY AND FUCKING DEMAND, YOU COCKSUCKER FROM BERKELEY. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH EMERGENCY DIESEL ENGINES, HAMSTER WHEELS, OR MOTHER-IN-LAW-DRIVEN ENERGY BICYCLES THAT HAVE TO BE POWERED UP. SHITCOCK.
July 19th, 2009 at 1:27 am
in 1980, i lived in TX, working my way through high school as a grocery store stocker. i was the guy who unloaded the loose-stocked trucks (no pussy palletized loads for winn dixie; 1200 cases of shit stacked floor to ceiling in a 48′ trailer that had a westward exposure). from 23 june to 3 august, the temperature was 100 degrees above or more every day. took me 4 bottles of gatorade to get through the trailer, the interior temperature of which averaged 130 degrees. the only thing that got me through the evening when i had to throw 2 aisles of stock after unloading the truck was the ac in the store, which the manager had dialed down to 66 degrees.
any fuck who’d write a book but not have the balls to claim it likewise lacks the balls necessary to have ever accomplished any real work in his miserable misspent life. the chattering class can eat shit and die; mr klein goes first.
July 20th, 2009 at 2:49 am
I start using my A/C around the beginning of March and don’t stop using it until after Thanksgiving. It gets so cold in my apartment you could hang meat. And I LOVE it. When people at the office tell me it’s too cold there, I say, “Too bad!” When people complain that my apartment is colder in the summer than in the winter, I tell them “WRONG!DICKHEAD!”. The fact is I like it cold in the winter too.
July 20th, 2009 at 8:55 pm
@Michael Vick’s Kennel Klub: You’re in Dallas… 5 hours north of me. San Antonio has been above 100 for two straight weeks. I get where you’re coming from.
@Joe Klein: “mid-70s, sunny, with an exquisite whisper of breeze.” Yeah, I get it. You know what we call this weather in South Texas? CHRISTMAS. No, I don’t run my A/C in December. Nor do I run my heater. Brick house + high of 75 = comfortable house.
July 22nd, 2009 at 11:27 pm
ok i know its about the A/C article, not about the jeans article, but seriously:
” For men, sartorial good taste can be reduced to one rule: If Fred Astaire would not have worn it, don’t wear it. For women, substitute Grace Kelly. ”
Who the FUCK is Fred Astaire?