This Week’s KSK Commenter Draft: Game Show Or Reality Show On Which You’d Like To Be A Contestant
My mom was a contestant on two game shows back in the 1960’s. She was on “Jeopardy!”, in pre-Trebek era. She lost, and was given a full set of the Encyclopedia Americana as a parting gift.
I can’t think of a shittier parting gift. “Hey, here’s twenty volumes of a ghetto-ass encyclopedia. We couldn’t even afford Britannica. If you need a hand truck to carry all 40 tons of it home, our rental fee is $50.” I’m firmly of the belief that losing “Jeopardy!” contestants should get to keep whatever money they build up. That’s how “Wheel” does it. It’s the one thing they have over Trebek and company.
My mom was also on a show called “To Tell The Truth,” where a contestant was faced with three people, all claiming to be the same person, and had to figure out which one was telling the truth. My mom was one of the impostors. She did not fool the contestant. She received nothing. We don’t have video footage of either appearance she made. I’m not lying when I tell you I’d pay at least two grand to get my hands on a tape. Your loser ass is out there somewhere, ma.
My wife went to high school with Colleen from “Survivor.” Said she was a loser. She also went to college with Sam, the crazy asshole from the first season of “The Apprentice.” And that’s about the depth of my connections to the game show and reality show world. My aunt and her daughter applied to be on “The Amazing Race,” but they got turned down. Same with two of my old co-workers (they totally would have hooked up on the road if they had done it). I tried calling once to be a contestant on “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?” when it was new and popular. I never got through. This is a shame, as I grew up a poor Indian child and learned any number of useless but karmically important bits of information along the way.
Anyway, it’s your turn. This week, you’re drafting a game show or reality show on which you’d like to be a contestant. THE RULES: Pick one show at a time. Can be a show from any point in history, old or new. Keep in mind, you’re the contestant here. So that means if you pick “The Bachelor,” that means you’re one of the crazy bitches vying for the guy, not the guy. I have no interest in anything that’s hard or takes a long time. I just want money in relatively short order. So my pick is, GUHHH, Deal Or No Deal.
You have to be a real piece of plywood to win anything less than $50,000 on this show. Which is exactly what happens to most of the people who go on. Big bucks. No Howies.
Tags: Big Daddy Drew, hi mom, ksk commenter drafts, why press your luck isn't a network show during the summer is beyond me
July 17th, 2009 at 9:08 am
The Price is Right
So I could bid $69 and stare at barker’s beauties.
July 17th, 2009 at 9:09 am
I’m guessing we can pick game shows no longer in circulation?
Press Your Luck
/No Whammies!
July 17th, 2009 at 9:10 am
Jeopardy!
Yes, I will wreck your asses in trivia.
July 17th, 2009 at 9:13 am
The Bachelor. BOOYAH!
July 17th, 2009 at 9:16 am
I thought we had something like this before? Anywho, I’d pick the same thing I picked then…The Match Game. But only with a panel of Betty White, Brett Somers, Charles Nelson Reiley, and a super drunk Richard Dawson.
July 17th, 2009 at 9:16 am
Wheel of Fortune. There has never been a collection of dumber contestants and I will fit right in.
July 17th, 2009 at 9:16 am
Big Break Hawaii
/I’m taking my 30 handicap to paradise bitches
July 17th, 2009 at 9:16 am
@CC,
um, “if you pick “The Bachelor,” that means you’re one of the crazy bitches vying for the guy, not the guy.”
July 17th, 2009 at 9:17 am
Aw fuck. Maybe if Drew hadn’t shared his entire lame-ass family history, I would have finished reading the post. I retract my pick.
TEMPTATION ISLAND!!!
July 17th, 2009 at 9:19 am
Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?
I’d wreck all those kids in the Loot-Warrant-Crook round.
July 17th, 2009 at 9:19 am
The amazing race. My boy Trav and I would’ve raped that shit.
July 17th, 2009 at 9:20 am
Double Dare. They always got the most uncoridinated kids for that show. I could have had a broken arm and a sprained ankle and done better than 90% of the kids on that show. Plus, if you lose, sweet Kay Bee Toy Store gift certificate. They are still in business, right?
July 17th, 2009 at 9:20 am
I’m going with MILF Island. Suck it!
July 17th, 2009 at 9:22 am
Card Sharks
basically Acey-Deucey with some easy questions thrown in.
July 17th, 2009 at 9:22 am
“Are You Smarter Than A FIfth Grader?”, begrudgingly. An adult human with a pulse should be able to waltz on there and steal money, but if you lose, then that’s all the evidence you need that you have nothing left to live for. So, win-win, I guess.
July 17th, 2009 at 9:22 am
Oh, wait, does it have to be a real game show?
Then I’m going with the Match Game, circa 1974. Nothing like hanging out with a clearly drunk set of B-list celebrities like Nipsey Russell, Charles Nelson Reilly and Richard Dawson.
And the porno theme song. Bwah, bwa-bwa-bwa-bwa-bwabwabwa, BWAH, bwa-bwa-bwa-bwa-bwabwa….
July 17th, 2009 at 9:23 am
Real World – Las Vegas. There’s a lot right with that pick.
July 17th, 2009 at 9:23 am
I was on the Hoosier Millionaire. Does that count for anything?
I’ll pick Legends of the Hidden Temple.
@ The White Boom Boom: When was Richard Dawson not super drunk on the Match Game? For that matter, it seemed to me that all of the stars were usually half lit on that show.
July 17th, 2009 at 9:24 am
Queer Eye for the Straight Guy
Wait. What?
July 17th, 2009 at 9:24 am
Also, I hate to blogwhore, but I think I’ve uncovered a disturbing bit of Eli Manning’s past.
July 17th, 2009 at 9:25 am
You Bet Your Life — could there be a better story than your 10 minutes with Groucho?
July 17th, 2009 at 9:25 am
The Running Man.
July 17th, 2009 at 9:25 am
No pick for me, but I’d just like to point out that my high school football teammate is the dude on that new Fat Bachelor show, “More to Love.” I couldn’t be more simultaneously thrilled and appalled.
July 17th, 2009 at 9:25 am
Remote Control–Lofty Show.
July 17th, 2009 at 9:26 am
Fuck me, not only did my pick get taken, but for the same reason.
Watch the show again, BBF. They’ve got cocktails in reach on the panel there.
July 17th, 2009 at 9:26 am
The Bachelor.
I now have tit-tays to play with. I’ll be in my room for a while.
July 17th, 2009 at 9:27 am
Alright, I’m flunking reading comprehension this morning. I’m going to go sit by myself for a while.
July 17th, 2009 at 9:29 am
Beat the Geeks.
I hate to admit it, but I loved the Geek-qualizer.
July 17th, 2009 at 9:30 am
@Weed: Clutch pick. That Thom is sooo cute with his little ‘h’ there.
July 17th, 2009 at 9:31 am
Millionaire during the regis years. Pretty easy way to win at least $25,000…
July 17th, 2009 at 9:31 am
Jenna Jameson’s American Sex Star
Giggity
July 17th, 2009 at 9:32 am
The Family Feud
Because I’m pretty sure the stupidest people on the planet are on that show
July 17th, 2009 at 9:34 am
Wipeout. Bring the nuttiness of Japanese gameshows to the US, hire Jon Henson to narrate.
July 17th, 2009 at 9:36 am
1994-era Family Feud
Ray Combs went too soon, folks. I could have saved him. He went too soon. Sigh.
July 17th, 2009 at 9:36 am
Iron Chef. Japan. Imma gonna cook the shit out of … wait, what the fuck is fugu?
July 17th, 2009 at 9:36 am
Legends of the Hidden Temple.
One of my favorite game shows as a kid.
July 17th, 2009 at 9:37 am
Jeopardy!
the only one I tried out for
failing miserably
/cries
//would be in the red probably
July 17th, 2009 at 9:38 am
The Mole. Best reality show ever and there were a couple hotties who totally would’ve been into me.
July 17th, 2009 at 9:38 am
fuck beaten to it… um temptation island remember that?
July 17th, 2009 at 9:39 am
fuck me…again
um.. world series of poker
that is a show about a game right?
July 17th, 2009 at 9:40 am
Cash Cab.
It gives me easy money, AND takes me where I need to go.
July 17th, 2009 at 9:40 am
Too late on my pick. I’ll change my pick to my other Nick Game Show. Nick Arcade.
Any chance to win prizes by playing video games is always awesome.
July 17th, 2009 at 9:41 am
Damnit, Gunner, please type the whole title or you fuck things up for those of us trying to play by the rules. All the picks I want (5th grader, Millionaire, even Temptation Island) are already gone. I guess I’ll take So You Think You Can Dance because during Vegas week I’d be able to score some hot dancer ass.
July 17th, 2009 at 9:41 am
Wheel of Fish
“Led Snappah, vely nice…”
July 17th, 2009 at 9:41 am
Age of Love. Beautiful young idiots and hot cougars both vying for my attention.
July 17th, 2009 at 9:44 am
GUTS
July 17th, 2009 at 9:47 am
MTV’s “Dismissed”… those girls are so competitve, they’d give you a BJ even if they don’t like you. Anything not to get dismissed.
July 17th, 2009 at 9:48 am
To Catch A Predator?
That’s a game show, right?
July 17th, 2009 at 9:49 am
To Catch a Predator – Everyone wins a meeting with Chris Hanson on that show.
July 17th, 2009 at 9:49 am
Let’s Make a Deal. I’m pretty sure everyone on that show was drunk and/or high. Dressed like idiots, unable to make simple decisions, horrible gag prizes? I’ll take Door #3 Monty! A rusty wagon? Whoo!
July 17th, 2009 at 9:49 am
Damn! I wanted Press Your Luck!
Let’s start with a great one: Supermarket Sweep!
ALWAYS go for the medicine isle first — small, easy to stock up stuff that costs an arm and a leg.
July 17th, 2009 at 9:49 am
Congratulations WAS, you’re one minute funnier than me.
July 17th, 2009 at 9:50 am
Cannonball Run… but only if Dom Deluise was still alive and could be my navigator!
July 17th, 2009 at 9:50 am
Folks, the “Find” function is your best friend for these Friday drafts.
July 17th, 2009 at 9:50 am
LET’S MAKE A DEAL
easy pick: cociane-fueled costumed tomfoolery.
also, a chance to see what’s in the box without getting a restraining order
July 17th, 2009 at 9:50 am
Win Ben Stein’s money so I can take that far right, maniacal chicken hawk to the cleaners.
July 17th, 2009 at 9:51 am
$100,000 Pyramid. Charades with money rewards. Concrete cyanide.
July 17th, 2009 at 9:54 am
You Americans may not have got to enjoy this little gem, but it was fucking sweet.
Bumper Stumpers
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bumper_Stumpers
July 17th, 2009 at 9:56 am
The Weakest Link…goodbye!
July 17th, 2009 at 9:56 am
@Merk: isn’t Bumper Stumpers also the name of a popular amputee fetish porn series?
July 17th, 2009 at 9:56 am
Ninja Warrior.
After about a solid four months of upper-body conditioning.
July 17th, 2009 at 9:58 am
Second round pick: Since I can’t take Double Dare, give me its slutty cousin, FUN HOUSE with JD and the cheerleading twins!
July 17th, 2009 at 9:59 am
@WAS – You’re actually thinking of Stumper Humpers. Easy mistake.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:00 am
@Mr Smith: I had assumed Leitch picked Win Stein’s Money by proxy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2BEXxGI43s
July 17th, 2009 at 10:02 am
Scrabble
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_VgQGH6zHoQ
Eat it, Fatsis
/knows the game show doesn’t resemble the board game at all
July 17th, 2009 at 10:06 am
$ale of the Century
There was no finer host than Jim Perry.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:08 am
Give me the 80’s “Tic Tac Dough.”
I had a weird fascination with Wink Martingdale as a kid- to the point that when my mom bumped into him in an airport bar, she got his autograph on a cocktail napkin for me. Which I still have, to this day.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:08 am
Supermarket Sweep. Give me the big fucking inflatable ham and I’m winning this bitch!
July 17th, 2009 at 10:08 am
Hollywood Squares. And no I’m not gay.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:08 am
Classic Concentration with Alex Trebek. Rebuses fuckin rock.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:09 am
@Doc: beat you to it.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:09 am
@WAS: Another solid pick, I used to love that tacky 1980s show.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:10 am
Assuming I’m not competing for a dude: Studs.
“Well, that’s tough since I did the deed with all three of the girls, but I’d have to go with Shasta. Because she liked making bacon … on the beach.”
July 17th, 2009 at 10:11 am
For The Love Of Money: I would get to hang out with hot girls, they provide you all the booze you can drink, and I might be able to punch 12pack in the face before running and dropping in the fetal position (Hey I am realistic)
July 17th, 2009 at 10:13 am
Rock of Love, provided I can get the HPV vaccine first. Nothing to do all day but drink Grey Goose by the pool and mock dumb broads with gummi bear tits? Yeah, I think I could handle that. No way I’m touching Bret Michaels’ shriveled nutsack, though.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:13 am
KP bringing the high heat.
I’m going to have to go with Jackie Rogers Jr’s $100,000 Jackpot Wad.
“HE INTRODUCES THE ACTS!”
July 17th, 2009 at 10:14 am
@Reggie Bush’s Pimp
Goddamn it! I hate trying to refresh on Commenter Day…I’ll take “The Long Walk”. Fuck the Major. Anything I want. Forever. Done.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:15 am
The Joker’s Wild
joker, joker, and a triple!
@KP, classic 90’s. I went to college with a girl who was on that show.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:15 am
gummi bear tits
Hmmm…cherry flavored….
Next pick: Night Calls on the Playboy Channel.
Wait…it’s not a game show? Damn!
Hmmm…then I’ll pick Win, Lose or Draw. And get ready to punch my idiot partners who can’t draw worth a damn…
July 17th, 2009 at 10:16 am
The Japanese game show, High Stakes.
http://www.hulu.com/watch/18882/saturday-night-live-japanese-game-show
I know I would have fared better than Larry Templeton.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:17 am
I’ll take “Next Food Network Star.” Sounds like an easy job – make some food, eat it, get paid.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:19 am
I’ll take Road Rules for the travel and the constant drinking
July 17th, 2009 at 10:20 am
GUTS! DO-DO-DO-DO YOU HAVE IT? GUTS! danananananana GUTS! I would’ve dominated the other weakass kids and thrown rocks at them from the top of the Aggrocrag. Hon. Mention goes to Legend of Hidden Temple, I couldn’t do that one as I would lose my shit on a Temple Guard when he leapt out at me.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:21 am
Greed. Really hope I’d be team captain though.
Upstate — how’d she fare? Does just walking into that studio give you herpes?
July 17th, 2009 at 10:22 am
they do have a “trivial pursuit” game show on my9 or the old UPN in nyc
not a lot of money but considering all the other trivia games were taken, it’s an easy enough game
July 17th, 2009 at 10:22 am
The original American Gladiators. I don’t care that I’m 6′2, 180 lbs. I’ve always wanted to do Assault and Atlasphere.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:22 am
@UU: Fuck you in the pants! I was going to take that – damn this waiting 10 picks shit. ARRRGHH. Oh and that show was originally on in the 70s in case you were wondering.
OK, I’ll take High Rollers, just so I can see Alex Trebek looking like this.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:23 am
I pick for my second pick Madden Nation: I could hang out and a bus and play Madden all the time, plus again, I would love to deck all those wiggers.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:23 am
American Gladiators. Except I’d be against the chicks. And by chicks I mean only the hot one who does the one where you joust on the high platform.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:24 am
I would like to be a contestant in the “Grand-Prize-Game” from the Bozo the clown show.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:24 am
Kind of at a disadvantage for this, since I’m one of those weirdos who grew up without a TV (I blame all my social awkwardness on it!), but I think I’d love to do American Idol (ugh). After years of dicking around in no-name venues with no contacts in the industry, it’d be nice to get a straight, relatively merit-based shot at a recording contract.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:26 am
I’m blanking on the name but I’ll take that MTV show where you if you endured a minute or two of some person purposely annoying you in public without losing your shit, you won $500. I don’t care about winning, but engaging on some justified violence on TV sounds like a hoot.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:27 am
Damnit UU – you took my pick. I’ll go with Super Password. And the only person I knew that was on a reality show was a guy I went to high school with was on Love Cruise. The date it was originally supposed to air: September 11, 2001.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:29 am
@KP, she didn’t get picked to go on the date, btw, she was a total whore.
@j4b, I know joker’s Wild was on in the 70’s. I’m old.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:29 am
Wild and Crazy Kids.
I win.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:30 am
Ape — it was Boiling Points.
Last game show I’d ever want to go on: SNL’s Japanese Game Show. Qua kee sur kee … nee ku?
July 17th, 2009 at 10:30 am
@Ape, it was called Boiling Point
July 17th, 2009 at 10:31 am
@ Ape, I think it was called Boiling Points.
I definitely would have been punching someone in 30 seconds flat.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:31 am
Give me big brother, the show sucks but the thought of lying around in a house with a bunch of booze and dumb as rocks bimbos while skipping work for the summer seems nice to me.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:32 am
@UU: Ahhh, you were talking about Studs…right then, carry on.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:32 am
The Dating Game
I’m the guy getting to pick one of the 3 girls. At worst you get a free dinner out of the deal with a chance of hooking up.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:33 am
I actually WAS a contestant on Jeopardy. I came in 2nd, got a trip on a houseboat on Lake Mead.
My pick? Takeshi’s Castle. The basis for MXC. I can own me some uncoordinated Japanese.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:37 am
My last pick for the time being is 12 Corazones. Why? Because John John loves his Latina women, that’s why.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:42 am
Love Connection.
Cause I meet women on TV with the help of Chuck Woolery.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:42 am
The Gong Show. Because I could be high as a kite and no one would notice.
/time to get work done
July 17th, 2009 at 10:43 am
I’ll take “Biggest Loser.” I’ll be the thinnest one in that house – and drop a few pounds to boot!
July 17th, 2009 at 10:44 am
Can’t believe it’s still out there on an NFL parody website . . .1. Pro’s VS. Joe’s
2. Newly Wed game (b/c I think it’s friggin hysterical when Chuck Woolery says “making whoopy”
July 17th, 2009 at 10:46 am
@Tomlinson’s Pain Tolerance: That was Bob Eubanks. Ass.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:46 am
Shop ‘Til You Drop. Why yes, I could use a new canoe and entertainment system.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:50 am
anything with conjugal visits
July 17th, 2009 at 10:51 am
@Tomlinson’s Pain Tolerance: I think that’s because none of us like getting our asses handed to them.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:52 am
@TMizzle: You want to play Oz?
July 17th, 2009 at 10:59 am
The Canadian classic “Bowling for Dollars”. Game show and bowling combined.
July 17th, 2009 at 11:01 am
MTV’s Singled Out, because after I got knocked out from the first category, I’d just grab Jenny McCarthy by her tits and run.
July 17th, 2009 at 11:11 am
My 15 minutes..I was on the Family Feud with my 3 brothers and my dad. 5 time undefeated champs. Total winnings of $32,996. Each one of us got a check for 6,599.20 with no taxes withheld. @Weed Against Speed this was during the Ray Combs era. He was a damn nice guy.
During the 5 day stay I rocked not only the pink shirt and tie but the black Members Only jacket too! Hell yeah!
July 17th, 2009 at 11:12 am
If you ever get a chance, check out the episode of the Match Game with Brian Billick on it:
http://www.tv.com/match-game-pm/match-game-pm-3-19/episode/587925/summary.html
(too lazy to look up how to html)
July 17th, 2009 at 11:12 am
I smoke waaaaay too much weed to remember all the game shows I used to watch with my mom on sick days home from school.
July 17th, 2009 at 11:14 am
America’s Next Design Star
I would love to design Man Caves for a living
“A beer fridge..in your shower?? DONE!”
“an underground gun range? CHECK!”
July 17th, 2009 at 11:17 am
VH1’s I Love Money. I’m glad I have my HPV shots already.
July 17th, 2009 at 11:17 am
Top Chef. I would love to be a quiet, but deadly assassin with all the loud mouths….
July 17th, 2009 at 11:18 am
legends of the hidden temple. i would be unstoppable at putting together that shrine of the silver monkey.
July 17th, 2009 at 11:18 am
One reality show I’d love to go on: “No Reservations with Anthony Bourdain.” Go on a pig-eating spree.
July 17th, 2009 at 11:19 am
@Fangirls: I love money is off the board a ways up.
July 17th, 2009 at 11:20 am
I have one more pick: Dream Job. I think I would be a better Sportscenter anchor than most of those on there.
July 17th, 2009 at 11:20 am
Man versus Food
because I’m fat and would love to try to eat all of that food.
July 17th, 2009 at 11:22 am
Geek, Dweeb, or Spaz
July 17th, 2009 at 11:25 am
draft is winding down
i guess i’ll take Merv Griffin’s Crosswords even though there isn’t much money to be made
i like doing crosswords and theirs are particularly easy
July 17th, 2009 at 11:27 am
UU, have you seen the ad for the doctor that will let any bug bite him on Travel Channel? Ugggghh. He calls himself a virologist, as if that makes it okay.
I would take Legends of the Hidden temple but three or four people already did. And I have never seen it.
What was that one on Nickelodean where kids were jumping through paint and water falls and stuff. Iwill take that if it isn’t off the board and if this was ten picks past my first…
July 17th, 2009 at 11:27 am
@Boatdrinks: you just want to go on that show for a chance to hit on Padma.
/wants to do that too….
RECAP
1. Supermarket Sweep
2. Fun House
3. Win, Lose or Draw!
4. Love Connection
5. No Reservations
July 17th, 2009 at 11:27 am
Don’t Forget the Lyrics
Anyone with a decent knowledge of pop music can make 125k without breaking a sweat.
July 17th, 2009 at 11:30 am
Reggie, you do remember I am a woman, right? Although I wouldn’t mind drinking with Padma. The Top Chef bloggers on Gawker are convinced she spends the shows drunk / high.
July 17th, 2009 at 11:31 am
good choice Spum. That is the one that some nights I knew all the lyrics, and some nights I didn’t know any.
July 17th, 2009 at 11:31 am
Steal of the draft and final pick for me: Name that Tune!
/can’t believe it lasted this long.
July 17th, 2009 at 11:33 am
Reggie, you do remember I am a woman, right? Although I wouldn’t mind drinking with Padma. The Top Chef bloggers on Gawker are convinced she spends the shows drunk / high.
This is WHY I’d want to see you on that show. Drunk, Padma might be into it.
/been reading that FF/Sex Mailbag too much…need air…drink…
July 17th, 2009 at 11:34 am
Hahaha…she might be convinceable. Yea, I have too much mailbag reading too….
July 17th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Name that Tune… I was actually really good at it.
I was called up to try out for Teen Jeopardy back in the day. The test questions are 10X more difficult and obscure than what they show on TV. I didn’t make it but the girl from my city who did got trounced because all she knew was obscure arts and literature.
July 17th, 2009 at 11:37 am
There was this show on back in the day that Nick Arcade probably stole the idea from. They put 4 kids against each other in different nintendo games. The winner got a 3 minute shopping spree in some on-set nintendo store. That’d be a great show to be on.
July 17th, 2009 at 11:38 am
I’m with Busey.
Who wouldn’t want to hang out with Gary Busey for a day?
July 17th, 2009 at 11:43 am
Truth or Date. It is mandatory to stink palm the host before the show begins though.
July 17th, 2009 at 11:46 am
Get the Picture, the “other” game show Mike O’Malley hosted on Nickelodeon. I would stomp the colons of all those kids.
July 17th, 2009 at 11:47 am
I’m really late to the party, but I’m glad to see Press Your Luck went first. I went as a Whammy for Halloween when I was 6 and have a video of me performing one of the little Whammy routines at that time.
/kills self
July 17th, 2009 at 12:11 pm
For all of you (any?) Canadians who grew up in the 90s… Uh-oh! YTV kicked ass.
July 17th, 2009 at 12:16 pm
Rock and Roll Jeopardy.
July 17th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
I’d do Stump the Schwab because it’s one of the few shows that I’d actually have a chance to win.
Plus the look on Stuart Scott’s face when I left him hanging on a fist bump would be priceless.
July 17th, 2009 at 12:24 pm
Rock and Roll Jeopardy. Probst was a shitty host but any show where Mark McGrath whallops asses is one I can surely succeed on.
Also…Double Dare was already taken.
July 17th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
@dick_gozinia: FUCK! 10 minutes too late. You took my pick.
OK then….CELEBRITY Rock and Roll Jeopardy!
July 17th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
America’s Next Top Paddy’s Billboard Model
July 17th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
Beer Money…
July 17th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
pickins are slim:
Home Run Derby. The real one from the 60’s (50’s?) when you played against another guy for cash. Sure – I’d lose. And lose bad. And it wouldn’t even be a great story – but I could share a smoke on national tv with Joe DiMaggio.
July 17th, 2009 at 12:45 pm
I was actually on Jeopardy! a month ago. I finished second. You’ll be happy to know that they no longer give parting gifts to the runners-up. Now 2nd place gets $2,000 and 3rd place gets $1,000. I wasn’t too upset about it since I finished with $2799 anyway… but seriously, fuck Robert Falcon Scott, how am I supposed to know that guy for Finaj Jeopardy!?
July 17th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
I was actually on Jeopardy! a month ago. I finished second. You’ll be happy to know that they no longer give parting gifts to the runners-up. Now 2nd place gets $2,000 and 3rd place gets $1,000. I wasn’t too upset about it since I finished with $2799 anyway… but seriously, fuck Robert Falcon Scott, how am I supposed to know that guy for Final Jeopardy!?
July 17th, 2009 at 12:47 pm
Also, since I’m just not waiting 10 picks….
Twenty-one.
/gets the answers in advance
//gets booth ventilation fan shut off
July 17th, 2009 at 12:48 pm
Who Wants to be a Millionaire? The Regis Edition
July 17th, 2009 at 12:48 pm
…when I can’t even figure out how to only post once?
July 17th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
My Bad, The Regis edition of Millionaire is off the board. I’ll take Meredith Veira’s version
July 17th, 2009 at 12:52 pm
Twenty-One is still on the board?
Make it the short lived ‘00 remake then, so there’s some actual money involved. $100K a pop? Yes please.
July 17th, 2009 at 12:53 pm
Damn it.
All right, then give me Pitfall, Trebek’s obscure Canadian game show from the late ’70s with the funky elevator set.
July 17th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
I’ll take Murder in Small Town X for my second pick
July 17th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
Silent Library. How many times in my life will I ever get the chance to pull out Ernesto Hoost’s nose hair with tweezers or get bitten by a toothless old man.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4113124618044381727
Three words – Bad.Smell.Air
July 17th, 2009 at 1:11 pm
The Chamber
Fox’s answer to “Who Wants To Be a Millionaire?” That was some kinky shit.
July 17th, 2009 at 1:12 pm
Value Pick: Finders Keepers, another Nickelodeon oldie. Tear the shit out of a nicely kept house, win money.
July 17th, 2009 at 1:14 pm
Who’s More Grizzled? Just so I could show up Robert Duval and Garth Brooks during his Chris Gaines stage.
July 17th, 2009 at 1:17 pm
Also…another Chuck Woolery new-age classic: Lingo.
July 17th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
I will take “To Tell the Truth” as I am old enough to maybe have seen Drew’s mom on the show.
July 17th, 2009 at 1:25 pm
Everything else I wanted was taken, so, um… Lingo? Not the most exciting game show in the world, but I’m confident I could wreck some shit.
July 17th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
I was on Jeopardy! in 1998 and won once. I still have the TV I got for getting my ass handed to me in the second show.
I’ll take the Real World/Road Rules Challenge so I can try to kill as many of the other contestants as possible.
July 17th, 2009 at 1:31 pm
dog eat dog… because there is not enough awkward small talk with brooke burns in my life.
July 17th, 2009 at 1:36 pm
Remote Control.
Anything with a category that is Inside Tina Yothers has got to be quality.
July 17th, 2009 at 1:39 pm
I’m out of picks, so as a parting gift I’ll draft game show girls. First, the late 80s-era Kari Wuhrer. Then Vanna White. Then a few “Deal or No Deal” girls (easy pick and Howie never touched any of them). Then Meredith Vieira. And for my late round value pick: a big, bouncy, really enthusiastic black female contestant from “Price Is Right”.
July 17th, 2009 at 1:41 pm
Was The Chamber the one with John McEnroe?
July 17th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
Can’t believe this hasn’t been picked… Match Game! You can have Gene Rayburn and his 20-foot pencil microphone rip on you and trying to pick up the token hot chick in the 4th spot. Good times.
July 17th, 2009 at 1:51 pm
^^ picked about 5 hours ago…
July 17th, 2009 at 1:51 pm
Can’t believe you didn’t use the “Find” function!
It’s only been taken, and retaken, and talked about three other times.
July 17th, 2009 at 1:55 pm
Taking cues from above, I will also brag about being on Jeopardy. 3 day champ.
Since I’m late to this gangbang, I’ll take “Geek, Dweeb, or Spaz”.
July 17th, 2009 at 1:56 pm
slowest day ever at KSK? slowest day ever at KSK.
July 17th, 2009 at 2:01 pm
Since most game shows are taken at this point, I’d like to be a guest star on Dirty Jobs. Obviously a lot of those jobs sucks, but I think it’d be a fun week(s) while taping the episode…
July 17th, 2009 at 2:03 pm
Soooo late…I’ll take Junkyard Wars. Me and Ochocinco would a BADASS CARBOAT and win that mofo!!
July 17th, 2009 at 2:04 pm
‘…build a BADASS CARBOAT…’
/dumbass
July 17th, 2009 at 2:05 pm
I was on Minnesota Highschool Quiz Bowl once in 1994. It was my TV debut and it aired on North Minneapolis Public Access but I never saw it, as I lived in the West Minneapolis cable grid. Too bad, because at the beginning, I told the hostess my name and school then said I’d be getting the answers from the man who lives in my pants. And the rest is Minnesota Highschool Quiz Bowl history…
Oh yeah, Otis Redding had a song called “Match Game”. That’s the only Soul song I know of that’s about a game show.
July 17th, 2009 at 2:07 pm
@ alex (not trebek)
fuck, that sucks. i remember that show. you owned most of it. How did you miss the basketball net question? i always get pissed when i know an answer and none of the players can get it. that being said, i didnt know the final jeopardy either and you probably had the best guess of the three. do you ever think now, fuck why didn’t i just wager a few hundred and hope for the other dude to fuck up?
July 17th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
Fuckit. As long as I have the tourch and welder out I might as well take Monster Gargage.
/douchetastic wrench-turner
July 17th, 2009 at 2:10 pm
‘torch’…jebus!
July 17th, 2009 at 2:10 pm
Let’s see if this works:
July 17th, 2009 at 2:10 pm
And no, it didn’t.
July 17th, 2009 at 2:21 pm
I remember this game show on comedy central in high school called beat the geeks. There was a comic
book geek, a music geek, a tv show geek etc. I coulda ruled that show. Probably been one of the geeks. Yeah, there were no hot girls on the show but it’s late in the draft, I’ll take what I can get
July 17th, 2009 at 2:22 pm
What Would You Do
The Classic Nickolodeon game show.
Nuff Said
July 17th, 2009 at 2:26 pm
Otto Man deftly scooped up “Jackie Rodgers’ Jr.’s $100,000 Jack Pot Wad” early on, so I’ll take another SCTV game show: “Half Wits” as hosted by Alex Trebel (Eugene Levy). I could probably out-reason John Candy and Martin Short.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bB6KFa7-6B4
July 17th, 2009 at 2:27 pm
Sorry ’bout that folks… well I was at least the first to mention Gene’s mic and the token 70s hottie in the 4th spot.
Here’s a real one: Treasure Hunt
July 17th, 2009 at 2:37 pm
I’ll join in on the handful of commenters who have actually been on gameshows…Like Drew’s mom, I’ve appeared on two: early Meredith Vieria “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire” (won $32,000…should have won $64K), and “The Price Is Right” (won four electric guitars and $2500). I guess that’s as close to a claim to fame as I have.
July 17th, 2009 at 2:42 pm
I was never on a game show but was in the audience for “Wheel of Fortune” when I was 8. My dad won the door prize, a word processor! Very relevant in 1991. Vanna didn’t hand it to us, unfortunately.
July 17th, 2009 at 2:43 pm
Nice one on Junkyard Wars. I’ll take Battlebots.
The Chair was the show with John McEnroe. The Chamber was FOX copying The Chair. Smart move.
July 17th, 2009 at 2:46 pm
Damn late to the party.
How about, “I’d buy that for a dollar!”
July 17th, 2009 at 2:49 pm
I’ll go 1 vs. 100 since the questions are easy and most of the mob is dumb. I’m sure I could win a substantial amount of money.
July 17th, 2009 at 2:51 pm
Someone took Remote Control already, but I’m not sure I’d choose it anyways… I suppose it would be kind of awkward to masturbate to Kari Wuhrer with her standing right there (& that was my favorite aspect of that show).
Not much left so I guess I’ll take Lingo… but the older ones when the hot British chick with the nice rack was the co-host.
July 17th, 2009 at 3:00 pm
I’ll pick late ’70s-era “Battle of The Network Stars”. See, I’d hit on Cheryl Tiegs and Farrah Fawcett and make Joyce DeWitt and Lou Ferrigno do all the work in the relay races.
July 17th, 2009 at 3:06 pm
I’ll take the $20 sack pyramid since all the real game shows have been taken.
/wanted to go to a swap meet
//didn’t want to get shot on Crenshaw though
July 17th, 2009 at 3:07 pm
MXC. It is much, much better than wipeout.
July 17th, 2009 at 3:13 pm
Since all my choices were taken (Carmen Sandiego, Legends of the Hidden Temple, Nick Arcade) I’d definitely go with Guts, that NICK gameshow that pitted kids from around the word against each other. I remember it being like Double Dare on steroids mixed with American Gladiators.
Nothing like instilling a little nationalistic pride at a very early age.
July 17th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
Slim pickins this late but how I’ll take Starcade.
/still wants Donkey Kong arcade cabinet for bedroom
July 17th, 2009 at 3:40 pm
Grudge Match… you get the opportunity to disgrace someone who pissed you off, & you don’t have to worry about embarrassing yourself because the only people watching the show at 2:30 & 3:00 AM are semi-conscious drunkards just getting home from the bar.
July 17th, 2009 at 3:43 pm
SHIPMATES… who wouldn’t jump at the opportunity to nail some annoying, semi-attractive, kinda trashy moron while cameras follow you all over a cruise ship?
July 17th, 2009 at 3:45 pm
I realize Daisy De La Hoya is possibly the most insipid twat drawing breath today, but damn if she doesn’t get my loins all riled up. Plus, I’m like four hours late and all the good stuff is taken. So Daisy of Love it is.
July 17th, 2009 at 3:55 pm
Late to the show, but I’m taking Legends of the Hidden Temple. If it’s picked, fuck it, not enough time in the day to read 200+.
/nobody will see it anyway
July 17th, 2009 at 4:02 pm
I’d also like to select “Debt” with Wink Martindale, that show where the grand prize is having your debt wiped clean. The funniest part was in the beginning when they actually announced how much debt each constestant had.
There was that part at the end where you could choose either to keep your accumulated winnings (’til that point) or take a chance and clear your debt by answering a trivia question from a category of your choosing. I would’ve chosen The Simpsons and rocked that shit. God, I could really use that show right about now.
July 17th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
As stupid as it was, I’m surprised to see that A Shot at Love (with Tila Tequila) is still on the board, so I’ll take it. Sitting around drinking while surrounded by silicone-enhanced bisexual skanks? Why the hell not? That’s why pharmacists invented Valtrex.
July 17th, 2009 at 4:10 pm
I realize I have problems, but man, I love me some Family Feud.
July 17th, 2009 at 4:14 pm
Whale Wars.
/assuming “contestant” means I get to be on a Japanese harpoon boat throwing flash grenades at those dirty hippies.
July 17th, 2009 at 4:22 pm
Where the fuck is Sexy Friday? I got an hour left in the office and I want to spend them happily. Also, your site’s been crashing a lot lately. Did you just get an influx of new visitors or something?
July 17th, 2009 at 4:34 pm
“@Tomlinson’s Pain Tolerance: That was Bob Eubanks. Ass.”
@Grimey Thanks for the criticism it means a lot coming from a douche who picked a show that wasn’t even a game show. Road Rules LMFAO! Nice pick go get another twisted tea.
July 17th, 2009 at 4:48 pm
@Tomlinson’s Pain Tolerance: “This Week’s KSK Commenter Draft: Game Show Or Reality Show On Which You’d Like To Be A Contestant”
Right there in the title of the post, all star.
July 17th, 2009 at 4:49 pm
Curling for Loonies
July 17th, 2009 at 4:58 pm
Ow, My Balls!
July 17th, 2009 at 4:59 pm
I’ll take So You Think You Can Dance. I may not be able to dance all that well, but, I have a pretty face, making me probably not the first to get cut. Which means I’d get at least 2 weeks with a bunch of single, hot, flexible, and horny females with plenty of downtown. I’d also have like no competition for these girls as 99% of the male dancers are gay. So they’ll be lining up to ride the Amare express. To quote Mary Murphy: “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
July 17th, 2009 at 5:00 pm
Where in the world is Sexy Friday?
July 17th, 2009 at 5:01 pm
*plenty of down time. Stupid people telling me work shit when I’m on KSK.
July 17th, 2009 at 5:09 pm
@ ndhwn
Someone already beat you to it. Well, a contestant. Won, had a catergory of The Simpsons, and anounced yes faster then he could go to commercial break. The greatest moment in the history of that show was when they cut back, asked the question, and the excited, cocky man slowly realized he had no idea what the hell the answer was.
@ Tomlinson’s Pain Tolerance
Allow me to copy/paste this post’s title.
This Week’s KSK Commenter Draft: Game Show Or Reality Show On Which You’d Like To Be A Contestant
Note the “Reality Show”
As for my pick? Eh, how about Bullrun on Speed? My Dad was on it last season, and racing around the country trying not to get arrested rules.
July 17th, 2009 at 5:15 pm
@lil’ wayne chrebet – on that basketball net question, it just seemed too obvious to be the $1000 clue. Besides, the other two contestants missed it (jai alai & lacrosse were their guesses) so I picked up the $1000 on them anyway. But yeah, that’s the one my friends bust my balls about. On Final Jeopardy, I knew it was one of the polar explorers and that my answer was wrong, but I just couldn’t come up with the name I wanted to guess, which was Shackleton, and wrong anyway. I went for the wager that would guarantee me the win if I got it right…and I thought I was better than even in “Explorers.” Oh well.
July 17th, 2009 at 5:21 pm
SABADO GIGANTE, CABRONES!
I know that la programa del Don Francisco is a variety show and not a proper game or reality show, but it has elements of both, so, chinga tu madre, I’m taking my broken Spanish and drafting “Sabado Gigante”!
Y Bailamos!
/cue Salsa music (with Spanish gibberish)
//cue dancing bikini-clad latinas
///cue Bee Guy
July 17th, 2009 at 5:33 pm
Damn it I can’t believe match game lasted until 1:45. YOU WERE ALLOWED TO DRINK AND SMOKE ON THE SHOW.
July 17th, 2009 at 5:38 pm
I guess Match Game PM is still on the board, nothing in the rules says different incarnations of the show are off the board once the original is picked.
July 17th, 2009 at 5:38 pm
I’ll take the Spanish-language “Match Game”- more tits and dancing and less fetishized torture than the Japanese Match Game.
July 17th, 2009 at 5:41 pm
Circle gets the square!
Hollywood Squares so that I could talk shit about the center square being awesome a long time ago and make him/her feel old.
“Comic Relief VIII was the shit in ‘89″, Arm muses.
July 17th, 2009 at 5:46 pm
Studz …………..so that I could hook up with hot ditties.
They’d be like,”Yeah, but is he a stud”? I’d be all, “Bitch, I am on the show – so what do you fuckin’ think”?
July 17th, 2009 at 6:51 pm
Next pick, the ‘control f game’ on KSK!! IT RAWKS!!11!!
Come on let’s all play!!
July 17th, 2009 at 7:03 pm
I’m going to do something revolutionary here, and pick a game show no one else has already chosen. I hope no one is offended, but at the same time I’m writing this now to underline how much smarter I think I am than most of you.
2 Minute Drill
If only this show was still around, and Pacman Jones or Hines Ward could be one of the participants. ESPN, why did you cancel this show?
July 17th, 2009 at 7:25 pm
For my second pick, I’ll take Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. You get to go on a vacation, all expenses paid, and then return home to get your house expanded and pimped up. Brilliant.
July 17th, 2009 at 9:03 pm
@ White Boom Boom. Amen. (and if no someone else wrote something similar to what I wrote, sorry, I didn’t feel like using ctrl + F
July 17th, 2009 at 9:51 pm
@That’samare – your second pick is actually your first pick – I took SYTYCD about two hundred picks ago for the exact same reasons.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:11 pm
well with my game show picked…Battle of the Network Stars(good call Gino and if I can join your team I get to throw at the Dunk Tank…), I will go with my Reality Show pick…Three Sheets(have no idea what the network is..but it usually comes on after Red Sox games on NESN HD). I like my drinky-drink…
July 18th, 2009 at 12:35 am
Joker’s Wild, Tic Tac Doe, Let’s Make a Deal… & Win Ben Stein’s Money.
July 18th, 2009 at 12:37 am
Greed. Woolery, some f’ing dumb contestants I can help bail out, and a nice, arbitrary $2.5 M grand prize.
Temptation Island. As discussed earlier, with appropriate vaccinations.
July 18th, 2009 at 3:44 am
the hills. Why? stupid hot girls and my only competition is a bunch of dicks and tools, I will be rolling in the pink stink
July 18th, 2009 at 3:05 pm
“Survivor”. It would be fun to fuck with the D-bag metros and valley girls who tend to populate the contestant pools.
July 18th, 2009 at 6:30 pm
The Ohio Lottery game show that airs Saturday nights – no skill required whatsoever. I actually think a few of the contestants have been retarded.
July 18th, 2009 at 10:22 pm
Anybody remember Distraction? They hurt people while asking them pretty normal questions to distract them. All in pursuit of things such as a car or a Vespa scooter and a TV or something. I always loved it.
July 19th, 2009 at 5:27 pm
‘Extreme Hangover: Sunday Edition’ Not draftin’ it, livin’ it.
/neeeeeds football
July 21st, 2009 at 4:52 pm
That show on the channel where they build shit and where they show up and build you a new god-damn kick ass house.
I win.
Oh, and I used to live in Italy as a kid. They had game shows where the hostesses are smoking hot and disrobe every time you get a question right. Those were great when I was 12.