THE DOGS IS THE BEN’S BEST NUMERO ONE GOOD FRIEND
HI THERE
THE BEN HAS FEW THINGS IN LIFE THAT IS MAKE HIM HAPPY. ALL FOLKS KNOW CHOCO TACO IS ONE FOR BEING SCRUMPTIOUS. CALL OF DUTY IS NUMERO TWO.
(MAYBE EVEN NUMERO PEW – HARF HARF HARF THAT’S JOKES)
BUT DID YOU KNOW DOGS IS NUMERO THREE? IT’S TRUE: DOGS IS NUMERO THREE
FOR ONE, DOGS IS NOT EATING YOUR CHOCO TACOS BECAUSE CHOCOLATE IS BAD FOR THEM. CHOCOLATE CAUSE THEM TO BE DEAD. FOR TWO, DOGS IS LICKING YOUR FACE WHEN THEY IS HAPPY BECAUSE YOUR FACE IS TASTY LIKE DOG CHOCOLATE, ONLY IT DON’T CAUSE THEM TO BE DEAD.
THIS MY DOG HINES JUNIOR. I GIVE HIM THAT NAME BECAUSE HE IS PART BLACK AND PART SOMETHING ELSE.
I SAW THE CARTOON BALLOONHOUSE MOVIE WHERE THEY HAD DOGS THAT COULD TALK AND I FOUND OUT THAT IF DOGS COULD TALK THEY WOULD TALK ABOUT INTERESTING THINGS AND MAYBE EVEN CAPTURE BIRDS FOR YOU.
I DON’T LIKE BIRDS SO IF I HAD TALKING DOGS I WOULD JUST TALK TO MY TALKING DOGS ABOUT FOOTBALL AND XBOX.
DON’T FORGET THAT YOU CAN ALSO CALL DOGS IN CALL OF DUTY ONCE YOU GET SEVEN KILL STREAK. PROBLEM IS HERE YOUR ENEMY CAN DO SAME. THAT IS USING DOGS FOR EVIL. CAUSE ME GREAT CONFLICT. LIKE HOW CLEVELAND FANS USE DOG COSTUMES TO ROOT ON BAD TEAM. DOGS SHOULD ONLY BE USED FOR GOOD.
ANOTHER THING: DOGS IS NOT JUDGING YOU WHEN YOU THROW PICKERCEPTIONS OR IS SPELLING PICKSBURGH WRONG. THAT IS BECAUSE DOGS IS LOYAL AND COUNT ON YOU TO FEEDS THEM.
WHEN BEN GO TO THE BIG XBOX LIVE IN THE SKY, HE GONNA LEAVE ALL HIS MONEYS TO DOGS. THEN DOGS WILL USE THE MONEY TO BUY THEMSELVES OUT OF PEOPLE SLAVERY AND THEY WILL BE FREE.
Tags: dogs, rongrastname, xmas ape, yet he and mike vick share the same number
July 15th, 2009 at 3:06 pm
Weird he would name his dog Hines Jr. considering dogs are a delicacy where Ward’s mother is from.
July 15th, 2009 at 3:12 pm
Damn, got beaten to the Hines eating the dogs joke. Well done UU.
July 15th, 2009 at 3:23 pm
Marmalard AND Ben in one day… Where’s Sulky to make this day perfect?!
July 15th, 2009 at 3:37 pm
“THIS MY DOG HINES JUNIOR. I GIVE HIM THAT NAME BECAUSE HE IS PART BLACK AND PART SOMETHING ELSE.”
+1
July 15th, 2009 at 3:43 pm
“CAUSE ME GREAT CONFLICT”
Ben even talk like Hine Wirrr
July 15th, 2009 at 3:44 pm
only takes a 5 kill streak if you use radar… yes, i’m the asshole that likes using radar… fuck you guys
July 15th, 2009 at 3:53 pm
I SAW THE CARTOON BALLOONHOUSE MOVIE WHERE THEY HAD DOGS THAT COULD TALK AND I FOUND OUT THAT IF DOGS COULD TALK THEY WOULD TALK ABOUT INTERESTING THINGS AND MAYBE EVEN CAPTURE BIRDS FOR YOU.
He he talking about Up? Wow, my head nearly asploded, but I was able to wrap it in duct tape to keep it all together.
July 15th, 2009 at 3:54 pm
Thanks for the Harf – I could fucking resist. Also got my season tickets today. Check out that sweet sweet cover art.
http://s3.amazonaws.com/data.tumblr.com/9eU5ZpmTEpxxrec0Nt2c7OHNo1_r1_1280.jpg?AWSAccessKeyId=0RYTHV9YYQ4W5Q3HQMG2&Expires=1247774018&Signature=TutOPH4S9tYeefYEZVJzqPJcjcM%3D
July 15th, 2009 at 4:00 pm
Squirrel!
Yup, saw Up! with my nieces.
July 15th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
Chaco Taco owes you money.
July 15th, 2009 at 4:16 pm
Does Ben like cleaning up the dog PEW PEW PEW…
/ shows self out
July 15th, 2009 at 4:28 pm
SQUIRREL!!!
July 15th, 2009 at 4:35 pm
in the hospital after ben got into a motorcycle accident
Doctor: Now, you must wear the cone of shame.
Ben: [hangs head] I do not like the cone of shame.
/took my nephew to see Up
/it took a lot for me not to cry like a little bitch
July 15th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
@vodkacollins
That was a fine hit, however it was also a play Hines scored a touchdown on.
July 15th, 2009 at 4:57 pm
Numero pew made my day.
July 15th, 2009 at 4:57 pm
“DOGS SHOULD ONLY BE USED FOR GOOD.”
/Vick joke
//never received the Alonzo Spellman Dog Saw I ordered
July 15th, 2009 at 5:00 pm
“LIKE HOW CLEVELAND FANS USE DOG COSTUMES TO ROOT ON BAD TEAM”
They sure do, Ben. They sure do.
July 15th, 2009 at 5:07 pm
I think the Up reference made my fucking day.
July 15th, 2009 at 5:33 pm
“Check out that sweet sweet cover art.”
I clicked on your link thinking it was going to be the McNair crime scene photos. Also, do they give those away or do you have to pay for them if the team is an annual choker?
July 15th, 2009 at 7:06 pm
It is really hard to describe the voice I use in my head for Big Ben when I read these.
July 15th, 2009 at 7:06 pm
Romo, Losman, Rivers, and Rongrastname all in one day!!!11! I’m spent…AWESOMELY!
July 15th, 2009 at 7:34 pm
Great lineup of stuff… Really have to love the Hines Jr. bit.
Always love a good appearance by my favorite QB, the Ben.
July 15th, 2009 at 7:38 pm
This guy is so wise. I would totally buy a book written by him.
July 15th, 2009 at 7:54 pm
Looks like the week off for vacation is paying off with some great stuff this week.
July 15th, 2009 at 9:08 pm
@ marmatard: I like to describe it as a cross between Opie the retard from Family Guy and Dr. Nick from the Simpsons.
July 15th, 2009 at 9:21 pm
@Plax’s owie spot
I always envisioned his voice sounding more like the character Mongo, from “Blazing Saddles”
July 15th, 2009 at 9:31 pm
@ marmatard, Plax’s Owie Spot, Ryno…
I used to think of Mongo too. Lately however, I’ve been relating the BEN voice to Tom Cullen from THE STAND.
/M-O-O-N, THAT SPELLS CHOCO TACO
July 15th, 2009 at 10:03 pm
People really do look like their dogs… and those are two of the dumbest dogs I’ve ever seen
July 15th, 2009 at 10:56 pm
Heard about the morse code in Pittsburgh- was anxiously waiting to hear Ben talk about it
July 16th, 2009 at 7:52 am
@lil wayne: My niece caught the tears dripping down Aunt Boatdrinks face (she will be 12 in Sept.) and muttered “you’re pathetic.”
It was the beginning of the movie, and I lost my Dad this spring and he was just as sad after losing Mom four years ago and and and….
July 16th, 2009 at 9:59 am
This post made Drew “cry like a bitch”