DID I SAY F–K YOU, BRETT FAVRE? WELL, F–K YOU WITH A CHAINSAW, FAVRE!
FUCK YOU, YOU GREASY FUCKING CUNT. YOU PATHETIC, ATTENTION-WHORING, INDECISIVE SACK OF SHIT. DIE. DIE IN A FIRE. DIE IN A CARBON MONOXIDE LEAK. THANK GOD I NEVER HAVE TO ROOT FOR YOUR SORRY ASS, YOU FUCKING TITFISTER. NOW MY SEARING HATE FOR YOU IS FOREVER PRESERVED, ENSHRINED IN THE DEEPEST BOWELS OF MY PITCH BLACK SOUL, IN WHICH I DREAM NIGHTLY OF YOU RAPED WITH A HEDGE TRIMMER. MY HATE FOR YOU IS NOW IMMORTAL. I HOPE YOU GROW INDIFFERENT TO A LIFE OUT OF THE SPOTLIGHT, AND TAKE TO THE CELEBRITY POKER CIRCUIT AND ARE HORRIBLE AT IT. YOU FUCK.
(Oh, and Jim Johnson died today. Jim Johnson was awesome. Take a cue Favre about learning how to exit the stage gracefully.)
Tags: F--K YOU BRETT FAVRE
![[badge]](http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/themes/default/images/100121_FOXmsnBadge_200x50.gif)
July 28th, 2009 at 7:15 pm
…………titfister?
July 28th, 2009 at 7:18 pm
*yawn*
July 28th, 2009 at 7:19 pm
Yeah, I’d be pissed if I had to rely on Sage Rosenfels or Tavaris. Man, life must really suck for you.
July 28th, 2009 at 7:20 pm
He’ll be reconsidering sometime around Week 4.
July 28th, 2009 at 7:22 pm
re: jim johnson
“Remember this. Bear Bryant retired at age 69, and he died 28 days after he stopped coaching. If you don’t have something, and a purpose in your life, you’re gonna die.”- Lou Holtz
Maybe it will work for Farve?
July 28th, 2009 at 7:23 pm
In a dark corner somewhere Peter King is sobbing while sipping on a mocha-chai latte.
July 28th, 2009 at 7:23 pm
Dear sweet, little slow-roasted baby Jesus. Thank you for this.
I can now come to terms with our shitty QB situation without the need for therapy
/Fuck britfar right in the shit-encrusted seat of his Wranglers!
// Gon drank a LOT now!
//woo-hoo
July 28th, 2009 at 7:24 pm
He’ll be reconsidering sometime around the end of camp.
July 28th, 2009 at 7:27 pm
Already can’t wait for Favre’s debut on NFL Countdown in 2011.
July 28th, 2009 at 7:32 pm
Poor Drew. He really thinks Favre won’t be in a Vikings uniform after about week 5.
July 28th, 2009 at 7:33 pm
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA…
(deep breath)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!1!!1!uno!!!!
Your tears taste delicious Drew! To the Tavarisage-mobile!
July 28th, 2009 at 7:35 pm
Jim Johnson: Father, what’s heaven like?
Priest: Well, my son, in heaven you can blitz twelve men on every play. Six Reggie Whites, and six Lawrence Taylors. And there’s no penalty for roughing the passer.
JJ: (Smiles, drifts off peacefully)
/RIP
//in my heaven, Favre is the quarterback JJ is blitzing
July 28th, 2009 at 7:37 pm
Attention-grabbing whore is stealing Vick’s spotlight!
Wait…
…this mean Vick is going to Minnesota?
July 28th, 2009 at 7:37 pm
Well at least his legacy is safe.
July 28th, 2009 at 7:38 pm
@ Danger Guerrero
Don’t forget he gets six Brian Dawkinses as well though. RIP JJ. Fuck you Brett Favre. Long live Drew and his life-sustaining hatred.
July 28th, 2009 at 7:39 pm
I heard he already reconsidered.
July 28th, 2009 at 7:43 pm
whoo, and here I thought you went all soft with a report on the ice cream man.
/no one cares about you anymore Britfarr. go away and never come back.
//Hoodsie Cups rule. NO ONE DENIES THIS!
July 28th, 2009 at 7:48 pm
Where’s the “yes I know the vikings are going 3-13 this year” tag?
July 28th, 2009 at 7:48 pm
@ Danger Guerrero: Well played sir. Jim Johnson blitzed Favre retarded in every game the Pack ever played against the Eagles. I’ll miss him.
As for Favre, we’ll talk to you next week buddy about that comeback. I know you’re just trying to get out of a week of training camp. You lazy effing prick. Don’t work hard for anything Brett. I’d hate for you to have to EARN your starting job.
/hugs his Aaron Rodgers jersey
July 28th, 2009 at 7:54 pm
I don’t know about you guys, but the on person I really want to hear from about this is Mr. BiloxiJim. Why, let’s take a look at what he wrote just twelve hours ago:
Don’t listen to the BS. There is motive for everything. …and that motive is clear. You’ll hear something by HIS original deadline. 7/31about 12 hours ago from web
God bless you Jimmy.
http://twitter.com/biloxijim
July 28th, 2009 at 7:55 pm
RIP Jim Johnson
I love watching the Eagles defense, mostly because of him.
July 28th, 2009 at 7:57 pm
Well, looks like the ol’ double possum finally decided to hang up the cleats.
July 28th, 2009 at 8:01 pm
Holy bad timing, Batman: according to PK’s latest tweet, Childress says to Brett today: “What’s that tone? Nobody died here.”
July 28th, 2009 at 8:01 pm
I heard he already reconsidered.
He reconsidered making an announcement about his reconsideration. Brad Childress just extended the deadline and told him and Deanna to think about it more. An announcement for the time of the next press conference to follow at a to-be-announced point over the course of a period of time, most likely at some point in the future.
Fuck you, Brett Favre. The only spotlight you’ll get now is under the fluorescent lights at the next ATV Show.
July 28th, 2009 at 8:07 pm
@Gino
Actually, NFL Network’s Scott Hanson is reporting that Favre “will continue to throw and work out.”
Good God.
July 28th, 2009 at 8:11 pm
He reconsidered making an announcement about his reconsideration. Brad Childress just extended the deadline and told him and Deanna to think about it more. An announcement for the time of the next press conference to follow at a to-be-announced point over the course of a period of time, most likely at some point in the future.
I heard he’s 90 percent sure he’ll announce that he’s thinking of registering a domain name for a possible future exploratory committee to fund a listening tour to determine whether his needs and the needs of the football viewing public are such that the time is right for him to consider a temporary return to the NFL.
Maybe.
July 28th, 2009 at 8:12 pm
Rest in peace, J.J.
/He’s blitzing angels now (tear)
July 28th, 2009 at 8:15 pm
As an Eagles fan, it’s a sad day. But for every minute of coverage the Ol’ Titfister gets over this, I’ll remember that back foot, 30-foot high lob Favre threw to Dawkins in the playoffs thanks to one of Jim Johnson’s crazy blitzes.
RIP, JJ. It’s never the ones who deserve it.
July 28th, 2009 at 8:19 pm
Favre’s QB ratings vs. Jim Johnson’s Eagles D: 33.5, 72.0, 32.4, 46.4, 44.2, 58.2 … Conclusion — Brittfar was JJ’s bitch.
/hard-hitting nerd analysis
July 28th, 2009 at 8:26 pm
END! MY! FUCKING! TORMENT!
July 28th, 2009 at 8:27 pm
TOMORROW’S ESPN HEADLINE:
Brett Favre Chooses Fish over Chicken for Dinner…Or Does He?
Brad Childress Gives Brett Three Days To Decide.
July 28th, 2009 at 8:28 pm
being a huge eagles fan, Danger Guerrero’s comment struck a huge chord with me.
thank you for that. seriously.
July 28th, 2009 at 8:30 pm
That’s the crap I’m talking about KP. Watching Brett play the Eagles gave me aneurysms…
“He’s bringing 6 people. SOMEBODY has to be open. Find the hot read. NO!! Don’t throw it down field. That’s what they WANT you to do.”
/Dawkins interception.
//Me kicking TV off the shelf
July 28th, 2009 at 8:30 pm
Looks like the guy who was going to cut all the lawns in Hatisburg MS while Bret was in MN is now out of work. At least for another week.
July 28th, 2009 at 8:31 pm
Favre is nothing but a dumb goober.
July 28th, 2009 at 8:39 pm
Purple Jesus hears all of your prayers. Sometimes, he just says “No”, but today, you have been blessed.
Go in peace.
July 28th, 2009 at 8:47 pm
“..and starting @ QB for your Las Vegas Locomotives…”
July 28th, 2009 at 9:15 pm
@ joe wade
No problem. I am glad I was able to strike your huge chord. Um, wait…
/afraid of real emotion, must diffuse with immature jokes
July 28th, 2009 at 9:22 pm
What does The Amazing Porkwell foresee for the Vikings?
Week 1: @Cleveland. Default non-Favre QB Tavaris Jackson starts. Throws 3 INTs by halftime, pretends to tweak his ankle. Replaced by Buckshot Rosenfels, who throws 2 TDs. Vikes win. (”Coincidentally”, Purple Jesus rushes for 195 yards.)
Week 2: @Detroit. Rosenfels chucks 3 TDs in a rout of the Lions and Minnesota catches Sage Fever. Nicknames like “Purple Sage” and “Purple Jewsus” are tossed about.
Week 3: 49ers. Sage throws a first possession TD but separates his shoulder during the simultaneous hit–out for 8 weeks. In comes Tavaris, who lallygags his way to 85 0/0 while AP rips the Niners for 150 and 2 TDs.
Week 4: Tavaris stinks it up on Monday Night. Management wonders whether or not he’s giving 100% since the Favre fiasco.
Week 5-6: Vikes rip Rams, squeak by Ravens. Tavaris looks terrible, but Purple Jesus is carrying the team.
Week 7: Steelers. The Vikes get their helmets jammed up their collective asses. Purple Jesus twists his ankle–continues to play, but hobbled.
Week 7, Monday morning after (Week 8 is @Green Bay.) Phone rings:
“Brad Childress speaking.”
“Dis heer Brittfarr.”
July 28th, 2009 at 9:54 pm
“Did you see Brett Favre deciding out there today? Gee, he’s like a kid out there, with all the consideration for the future of his family and own health. That’s why they call him the Thought-slinger!”
- John Madden, overheard while half-asleep, following a chili-and-cheesecake eating contest he was having with the mirror.
July 28th, 2009 at 10:16 pm
@Danger Dude usually I just come here for the dick jokes but seriously dude you brightened up my dreary day with that one thank you from all the Eagle fans
July 28th, 2009 at 10:23 pm
YEAAAAAAAAAH!!! You’re hate strengthens me! I am the all powerful hater!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!
July 28th, 2009 at 10:30 pm
“Well at least his legacy is safe.”
His legacy went down the shitter 5 retirements ago.
July 28th, 2009 at 10:32 pm
Could be worse Drew, you could be a Steelers fan.
July 28th, 2009 at 10:46 pm
It almost sounded like Goth Aaron Rogers……..
July 28th, 2009 at 11:40 pm
@ Danger Guerrero: And all the offensive lineman are slow, stupid, fat children with bad ankles.
July 29th, 2009 at 12:42 am
win it for JJ, RIP
fuck favre.
July 29th, 2009 at 1:13 am
This day would have been much better if Favre had passed away rather than Jim Johnson. (though that’s horrible, because he does have a daughter who apparently loves him.)
But in any case, it’s the best fucking day of the season, when that fucking hillbilly cocksucker FINALLY stops hogging the fucking spotlight.
They could hear the wail of anguish from ESPN’s hacks all the way in fucking Japan. Now they have to find something ELSE to spend 900 hours a fucking week on. Oh wait, A-Rod still hasn’t won a world series ring, phew. They’ve still got one tired boring ass story to just trot out there week after week.
Btw, Drew, you know this means the Vikings will just sign Vick, right?
July 29th, 2009 at 1:28 am
In retrospect, ah shit I can’t give advice or a touching memorial. I’m High! But dammit, JJ ran a righteous defense. I love a good defense. I still hate the Eagles and the Stillers and the Ravens and Brittfar but watching bone-crushing football hits is quality entertainment. That’s why we watch.
/Raises a glass to Jim Johnson. “Godspeed, JJ” . Godspeed. You will be missed.
//pours one out
July 29th, 2009 at 1:30 am
“
July 29th, 2009 at 3:34 am
Drew’s anti-Brett Favre posts and the subsequent comments are my anti-drug.
July 29th, 2009 at 4:16 am
Methinks the lady doth whine like a little bitch too much… or something
I’m bad with analogies
heh..heh.. anal logies
July 29th, 2009 at 7:52 am
Love the hate Drew, but where is the “yes, I know the Vikings are going 3-13 this year” tag.
Granted as a Packer fan I was hoping to see Brett suit up in a Vikings uniform and give us two guarenteed wins. Guess there won’t be any trips to Pick City this year.
July 29th, 2009 at 8:28 am
Tarvaris will bring the team to the playoffs.
Well, it’ll be mostly the defense, AP and Chesthair that gets them there….but he’ll be behind center to hand the ball off
July 29th, 2009 at 8:34 am
FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! How can Britt do this to us? I was looking forward to watching Drew as Britt slowly caused him to have a complete mental breakdown this year. We could have been witness to the creation of a serial killer.
July 29th, 2009 at 8:54 am
This post = Fail.
So Jim Johnson “exited the stage gracefully” by dying of cancer?
July 29th, 2009 at 9:28 am
Mr. Johnson,
Thank you for the memories.
A Jets fan.
July 29th, 2009 at 9:30 am
HARF HARF HARF
July 29th, 2009 at 9:36 am
I have a feeling this column will be a weekly feature.
July 29th, 2009 at 10:50 am
Whatever, this is classic Favre. He does this now so that the story is all about him right before camp starts. ESPN happily obliges, running a total Favre freakout all week. Then when camp opens, everyone forgets about Brett. Rachel Nichols finally leaves Hattiesberg; Ed Werder goes back to reporting on Tony Romo’s latest girlfriend, and all of a sudden the the summer seems awfully grey and cold in Mississippi.
So what does Brett do then? He text messages a “friend” who just happens to be standing next to John Clayton and tells him he’s having second thoughts. The ESPN Favre machine cranks back up into overdrive, as Brett denies it and insists that no, he really is content just to mow his lawn. Then he leaks more messages, creates a bigger furor, and about a week before camp closes he flys into Vikings camp as the conquering hero. BARF.
Save your hate Drew, this merry-go-round isn’t through spinning yet.
July 29th, 2009 at 12:00 pm
/hopes Favre disrespects the sun.
July 29th, 2009 at 1:00 pm
I was hoping he would play this year and get a compound fracture of his femur. Which I guess is still a distinct possibility because he is still throwin’ the ball ’round his ample landholdings. The fucking asshole.
July 29th, 2009 at 2:41 pm
He’ll be back by September
July 29th, 2009 at 7:12 pm
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!
The Favre Nightmatre is FUCKING OVER! I am soooo glad that overrated sack of disease infested shit has finally decided to end this torment.
August 26th, 2009 at 6:16 pm
http://debslater.com/client_area/KISM/Favre.mp3