FUCK YOU, YOU GREASY FUCKING CUNT. YOU PATHETIC, ATTENTION-WHORING, INDECISIVE SACK OF SHIT. DIE. DIE IN A FIRE. DIE IN A CARBON MONOXIDE LEAK. THANK GOD I NEVER HAVE TO ROOT FOR YOUR SORRY ASS, YOU FUCKING TITFISTER. NOW MY SEARING HATE FOR YOU IS FOREVER PRESERVED, ENSHRINED IN THE DEEPEST BOWELS OF MY PITCH BLACK SOUL, IN WHICH I DREAM NIGHTLY OF YOU RAPED WITH A HEDGE TRIMMER. MY HATE FOR YOU IS NOW IMMORTAL. I HOPE YOU GROW INDIFFERENT TO A LIFE OUT OF THE SPOTLIGHT, AND TAKE TO THE CELEBRITY POKER CIRCUIT AND ARE HORRIBLE AT IT. YOU FUCK.
(Oh, and Jim Johnson died today. Jim Johnson was awesome. Take a cue Favre about learning how to exit the stage gracefully.)
TAGS: F--K YOU BRETT FAVRE
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2011/12/dont-look-at-favre-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/08/jenn_sterger_71-150x150.jpg)
http://debslater.com/client_area/KISM/Favre.mp3
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!
The Favre Nightmatre is FUCKING OVER! I am soooo glad that overrated sack of disease infested shit has finally decided to end this torment.
He’ll be back by September
I was hoping he would play this year and get a compound fracture of his femur. Which I guess is still a distinct possibility because he is still throwin’ the ball ’round his ample landholdings. The fucking asshole.
/hopes Favre disrespects the sun.
Whatever, this is classic Favre. He does this now so that the story is all about him right before camp starts. ESPN happily obliges, running a total Favre freakout all week. Then when camp opens, everyone forgets about Brett. Rachel Nichols finally leaves Hattiesberg; Ed Werder goes back to reporting on Tony Romo’s latest girlfriend, and all of a sudden the the summer seems awfully grey and cold in Mississippi.
So what does Brett do then? He text messages a “friend” who just happens to be standing next to John Clayton and tells him he’s having second thoughts. The ESPN Favre machine cranks back up into overdrive, as Brett denies it and insists that no, he really is content just to mow his lawn. Then he leaks more messages, creates a bigger furor, and about a week before camp closes he flys into Vikings camp as the conquering hero. BARF.
Save your hate Drew, this merry-go-round isn’t through spinning yet.
I have a feeling this column will be a weekly feature.
HARF HARF HARF
Mr. Johnson,
Thank you for the memories.
A Jets fan.
This post = Fail.
So Jim Johnson “exited the stage gracefully” by dying of cancer?
FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! How can Britt do this to us? I was looking forward to watching Drew as Britt slowly caused him to have a complete mental breakdown this year. We could have been witness to the creation of a serial killer.
Tarvaris will bring the team to the playoffs.
Well, it’ll be mostly the defense, AP and Chesthair that gets them there….but he’ll be behind center to hand the ball off
Love the hate Drew, but where is the “yes, I know the Vikings are going 3-13 this year” tag.
Granted as a Packer fan I was hoping to see Brett suit up in a Vikings uniform and give us two guarenteed wins. Guess there won’t be any trips to Pick City this year.
Methinks the lady doth whine like a little bitch too much… or something
I’m bad with analogies
heh..heh.. anal logies
Drew’s anti-Brett Favre posts and the subsequent comments are my anti-drug.
“
In retrospect, ah shit I can’t give advice or a touching memorial. I’m High! But dammit, JJ ran a righteous defense. I love a good defense. I still hate the Eagles and the Stillers and the Ravens and Brittfar but watching bone-crushing football hits is quality entertainment. That’s why we watch.
/Raises a glass to Jim Johnson. “Godspeed, JJ” . Godspeed. You will be missed.
//pours one out
This day would have been much better if Favre had passed away rather than Jim Johnson. (though that’s horrible, because he does have a daughter who apparently loves him.)
But in any case, it’s the best fucking day of the season, when that fucking hillbilly cocksucker FINALLY stops hogging the fucking spotlight.
They could hear the wail of anguish from ESPN’s hacks all the way in fucking Japan. Now they have to find something ELSE to spend 900 hours a fucking week on. Oh wait, A-Rod still hasn’t won a world series ring, phew. They’ve still got one tired boring ass story to just trot out there week after week.
Btw, Drew, you know this means the Vikings will just sign Vick, right?
win it for JJ, RIP
fuck favre.
@ Danger Guerrero: And all the offensive lineman are slow, stupid, fat children with bad ankles.
It almost sounded like Goth Aaron Rogers……..
Could be worse Drew, you could be a Steelers fan.
“Well at least his legacy is safe.”
His legacy went down the shitter 5 retirements ago.
YEAAAAAAAAAH!!! You’re hate strengthens me! I am the all powerful hater!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!
@Danger Dude usually I just come here for the dick jokes but seriously dude you brightened up my dreary day with that one thank you from all the Eagle fans
“Did you see Brett Favre deciding out there today? Gee, he’s like a kid out there, with all the consideration for the future of his family and own health. That’s why they call him the Thought-slinger!”
- John Madden, overheard while half-asleep, following a chili-and-cheesecake eating contest he was having with the mirror.
What does The Amazing Porkwell foresee for the Vikings?
Week 1: @Cleveland. Default non-Favre QB Tavaris Jackson starts. Throws 3 INTs by halftime, pretends to tweak his ankle. Replaced by Buckshot Rosenfels, who throws 2 TDs. Vikes win. (“Coincidentally”, Purple Jesus rushes for 195 yards.)
Week 2: @Detroit. Rosenfels chucks 3 TDs in a rout of the Lions and Minnesota catches Sage Fever. Nicknames like “Purple Sage” and “Purple Jewsus” are tossed about.
Week 3: 49ers. Sage throws a first possession TD but separates his shoulder during the simultaneous hit–out for 8 weeks. In comes Tavaris, who lallygags his way to 85 0/0 while AP rips the Niners for 150 and 2 TDs.
Week 4: Tavaris stinks it up on Monday Night. Management wonders whether or not he’s giving 100% since the Favre fiasco.
Week 5-6: Vikes rip Rams, squeak by Ravens. Tavaris looks terrible, but Purple Jesus is carrying the team.
Week 7: Steelers. The Vikes get their helmets jammed up their collective asses. Purple Jesus twists his ankle–continues to play, but hobbled.
Week 7, Monday morning after (Week 8 is @Green Bay.) Phone rings:
“Brad Childress speaking.”
“Dis heer Brittfarr.”
@ joe wade
No problem. I am glad I was able to strike your huge chord. Um, wait…
/afraid of real emotion, must diffuse with immature jokes
“..and starting @ QB for your Las Vegas Locomotives…”
Purple Jesus hears all of your prayers. Sometimes, he just says “No”, but today, you have been blessed.
Go in peace.
Favre is nothing but a dumb goober.
Looks like the guy who was going to cut all the lawns in Hatisburg MS while Bret was in MN is now out of work. At least for another week.
That’s the crap I’m talking about KP. Watching Brett play the Eagles gave me aneurysms…
“He’s bringing 6 people. SOMEBODY has to be open. Find the hot read. NO!! Don’t throw it down field. That’s what they WANT you to do.”
/Dawkins interception.
//Me kicking TV off the shelf
being a huge eagles fan, Danger Guerrero’s comment struck a huge chord with me.
thank you for that. seriously.
TOMORROW’S ESPN HEADLINE:
Brett Favre Chooses Fish over Chicken for Dinner…Or Does He?
Brad Childress Gives Brett Three Days To Decide.
END! MY! FUCKING! TORMENT!
Favre’s QB ratings vs. Jim Johnson’s Eagles D: 33.5, 72.0, 32.4, 46.4, 44.2, 58.2 … Conclusion — Brittfar was JJ’s bitch.
/hard-hitting nerd analysis
As an Eagles fan, it’s a sad day. But for every minute of coverage the Ol’ Titfister gets over this, I’ll remember that back foot, 30-foot high lob Favre threw to Dawkins in the playoffs thanks to one of Jim Johnson’s crazy blitzes.
RIP, JJ. It’s never the ones who deserve it.
Rest in peace, J.J.
/He’s blitzing angels now (tear)
He reconsidered making an announcement about his reconsideration. Brad Childress just extended the deadline and told him and Deanna to think about it more. An announcement for the time of the next press conference to follow at a to-be-announced point over the course of a period of time, most likely at some point in the future.
I heard he’s 90 percent sure he’ll announce that he’s thinking of registering a domain name for a possible future exploratory committee to fund a listening tour to determine whether his needs and the needs of the football viewing public are such that the time is right for him to consider a temporary return to the NFL.
Maybe.
@Gino
Actually, NFL Network’s Scott Hanson is reporting that Favre “will continue to throw and work out.”
Good God.
I heard he already reconsidered.
He reconsidered making an announcement about his reconsideration. Brad Childress just extended the deadline and told him and Deanna to think about it more. An announcement for the time of the next press conference to follow at a to-be-announced point over the course of a period of time, most likely at some point in the future.
Fuck you, Brett Favre. The only spotlight you’ll get now is under the fluorescent lights at the next ATV Show.
Holy bad timing, Batman: according to PK’s latest tweet, Childress says to Brett today: “What’s that tone? Nobody died here.”
Well, looks like the ol’ double possum finally decided to hang up the cleats.
RIP Jim Johnson
I love watching the Eagles defense, mostly because of him.
I don’t know about you guys, but the on person I really want to hear from about this is Mr. BiloxiJim. Why, let’s take a look at what he wrote just twelve hours ago:
Don’t listen to the BS. There is motive for everything. …and that motive is clear. You’ll hear something by HIS original deadline. 7/31about 12 hours ago from web
God bless you Jimmy.
http://twitter.com/biloxijim
@ Danger Guerrero: Well played sir. Jim Johnson blitzed Favre retarded in every game the Pack ever played against the Eagles. I’ll miss him.
As for Favre, we’ll talk to you next week buddy about that comeback. I know you’re just trying to get out of a week of training camp. You lazy effing prick. Don’t work hard for anything Brett. I’d hate for you to have to EARN your starting job.
/hugs his Aaron Rodgers jersey
Where’s the “yes I know the vikings are going 3-13 this year” tag?
whoo, and here I thought you went all soft with a report on the ice cream man.
/no one cares about you anymore Britfarr. go away and never come back.
//Hoodsie Cups rule. NO ONE DENIES THIS!
I heard he already reconsidered.
@ Danger Guerrero
Don’t forget he gets six Brian Dawkinses as well though. RIP JJ. Fuck you Brett Favre. Long live Drew and his life-sustaining hatred.
Well at least his legacy is safe.
Attention-grabbing whore is stealing Vick’s spotlight!
Wait…
…this mean Vick is going to Minnesota?
Jim Johnson: Father, what’s heaven like?
Priest: Well, my son, in heaven you can blitz twelve men on every play. Six Reggie Whites, and six Lawrence Taylors. And there’s no penalty for roughing the passer.
JJ: (Smiles, drifts off peacefully)
/RIP
//in my heaven, Favre is the quarterback JJ is blitzing
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA…
(deep breath)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!1!!1!uno!!!!
Your tears taste delicious Drew! To the Tavarisage-mobile!
Poor Drew. He really thinks Favre won’t be in a Vikings uniform after about week 5.
Already can’t wait for Favre’s debut on NFL Countdown in 2011.
He’ll be reconsidering sometime around the end of camp.
Dear sweet, little slow-roasted baby Jesus. Thank you for this.
I can now come to terms with our shitty QB situation without the need for therapy
/Fuck britfar right in the shit-encrusted seat of his Wranglers!
// Gon drank a LOT now!
//woo-hoo
In a dark corner somewhere Peter King is sobbing while sipping on a mocha-chai latte.
re: jim johnson
“Remember this. Bear Bryant retired at age 69, and he died 28 days after he stopped coaching. If you don’t have something, and a purpose in your life, you’re gonna die.”- Lou Holtz
Maybe it will work for Farve?
He’ll be reconsidering sometime around Week 4.
Yeah, I’d be pissed if I had to rely on Sage Rosenfels or Tavaris. Man, life must really suck for you.
*yawn*
…………titfister?