Addressing the Sudden Dearth of NFL/Celebrity Couples
Now that Reggie Bush and Kim Kardashian have parted ways (nobody cheated!…unless they did) the NFL needs a fresh celebrity relationship worthy of tabloid attention. That’s why we at KSK have taken it upon ourselves to create our own pairings out of thin air. Just like the publicists do it!
He’s got a thing for blond moms, and she needs a man in her life who can domineer her for a change. Bill will stick it out as long as it takes for him to stick it in, assuming of course that none of the children make eye contact with him. Ever.
He’s mopey malcontent and her ego has been known to annoy the shit out of her coworkers. They might as well hook up, because nobody else can seem to stand their presence for extended periods of time.
He loves to party and has been known to skank it up for the cameras, and she’s exactly the same in every conceivable way. It’s science.
Submit your own dream NFL/Celeb couples in the comments.
Tags: ksk group posts, photoshops by Ape, Photoshops by Ufford, really bad MS Paint, Unsilent Majority
July 28th, 2009 at 12:07 pm
Marcia Gay Harden and Marvin Harrison = MarHarMarHar
July 28th, 2009 at 12:16 pm
Ape and James Harrison (sorry, it had to be said).
July 28th, 2009 at 12:17 pm
Courtney Love and Michael Vick.
July 28th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
Ape and James Harrison (sorry, it had to be said).
LaMarr Woodley might be more gentle
July 28th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
Ocutmom and Travis Henry
July 28th, 2009 at 12:23 pm
No love for Peezy!? THAT’S DISRESPECT!!
FIX YO FICTIONAL HOOKUPS!
July 28th, 2009 at 12:26 pm
Jared Allen and Britney Spears
that’s a whole lot of hill billy craziness.
July 28th, 2009 at 12:30 pm
T.O. and … himself?
July 28th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
serena williams and venus williams
one of em sort of looks like a man
it’d be interesting to watch to say the least
July 28th, 2009 at 12:33 pm
Joe Namath and Suzy Kolber
July 28th, 2009 at 12:33 pm
Oh yeah, I want to watch Vick make Courtney Love fight a pit bull.
Santonio Holmes and Lisa Lampanelli.
July 28th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
Brady Quinn and Nathan Lane.
July 28th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
brady quinn and taylor hanson…cause they’re both so pretty
July 28th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
Hines Ward and Lucy Lu. No other relationship would bastardize the Rs and Ls of the Enrish Ranguage bettel.
July 28th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
Ray Lewis and Joan of Arc. He has a knife, but she has a sword. Advantage: Joan of Arc.
July 28th, 2009 at 12:42 pm
o.j. simpson and tara reid. i’ve heard he likes blonde chicks so it should work out, right?
or, brian urlacher and chyna. can you imagine that?
/vomits
July 28th, 2009 at 12:43 pm
Mechelle McNair and Rae Carruth
July 28th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
Anquan Boldin and Alicia Sacramone
July 28th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
Steve McNair and Brynn Hartman
July 28th, 2009 at 12:48 pm
Brett Farve and Sarah Palin
July 28th, 2009 at 12:49 pm
Merriman and Xena because I’d like to see her pummel his ass when he tries to rape her.
July 28th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
Phil Rivers and Mandy Pepperidge
July 28th, 2009 at 12:53 pm
Dallas Clark and that broad Dauber dated on “Coach”
July 28th, 2009 at 12:53 pm
Alonzo Spellman and Lindsey Lohan
July 28th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
Jim Sorgi and Gayle King
July 28th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
Jerry Jones and Ashlee Simpson
July 28th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
Chris Simms and Kate Hudson.
July 28th, 2009 at 1:08 pm
Ray Lewis and Lorenna Bobbit.
July 28th, 2009 at 1:08 pm
brett favre and rosie o’donnell…he deserves her
July 28th, 2009 at 1:12 pm
Jason Campbell and Britney Spears…its Soup to Nuts!!1
I’ll be hear all week…try the veal!
July 28th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
Me and Cheryl Miller.
July 28th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
Al Davis and Cloris Leachman
July 28th, 2009 at 1:34 pm
Mark Sanchez and Lance Bass
July 28th, 2009 at 1:38 pm
Adrian Peterson and Mary Magdalene
July 28th, 2009 at 1:38 pm
Rongrastname and Erin Andrews
/Much better chance of having video evidence
July 28th, 2009 at 1:42 pm
Tom Brady and Miranda Kerr (oh wait), Tom Brady and Adriana Lima, dangit! I give up
July 28th, 2009 at 1:43 pm
Visanthe Shiancoe and Peter King
I think only PK’s gaping hole could handle what VS is swinging
July 28th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
Tony Dungy and Brüno.
July 28th, 2009 at 1:47 pm
Peter King and one of his Urologists
July 28th, 2009 at 1:50 pm
Casey Hampton and Robin Quivers
They can share Double G size bras
July 28th, 2009 at 1:54 pm
@Otto wouldn’t that be Mar(Gat)HarMar(Gay)Har?
@ Jim U. the media will soon inflate TO’s ego to the point where yes, he will actually be able to reproduce asexually like an amoeba and will do so as a TD celebration in NE week 1. lee evans becomes even more useless and unsurprsingly trent edwards stat line does not improve.
@Zack. You couldn’t pay me enough money to google any name anyone links with Marmalard
July 28th, 2009 at 1:54 pm
Derek Anderson and Eight Belles
Horse fucking is always classy.
July 28th, 2009 at 1:55 pm
Brad Childress and Brad Childress
He has earned the right to fuck himself.
July 28th, 2009 at 2:09 pm
@dougery
I think Zach was referring to the cheerleader that Belushi steals at the end of Animal House.
Big Ben and Katelyn Faber (Kobe’s hotel girl)
July 28th, 2009 at 2:11 pm
Felix Jones and Sandra Oh.
Because they both look like horses.
July 28th, 2009 at 2:17 pm
Brian Griese/Chris Simms/Eli Manning/Montana’s kid in 4 years and Tori Spelling
July 28th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
Jamarcus Russell and Monique
July 28th, 2009 at 2:31 pm
Kordell Stewart and Rupaul. Kordell can be the bottom this time.
July 28th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
Vincent Jackson, a bottle of whiskey and a car in a three way.
July 28th, 2009 at 2:41 pm
The Baltimore Ravens and Erin Andrews
July 28th, 2009 at 2:41 pm
John Kasay and that Jewish broad from season 1 of Mad Men
July 28th, 2009 at 2:46 pm
Eli Manning and Dora the Explorer.
July 28th, 2009 at 2:48 pm
Peyton Manning and Sarah Jessica Parker. Their children will be 80% head.
July 28th, 2009 at 2:50 pm
Jesus, how come Jeff Reed and Tila Tequila hasn’t happened already?!?
July 28th, 2009 at 3:07 pm
Leonard Little and Bette Midler
July 28th, 2009 at 3:19 pm
Nolan Ryan and Robin Ventura
I SMELL A SIT-COM!
July 28th, 2009 at 3:27 pm
Christine Brennan and Visanthe Shiancoe. Because clearly she hasn’t gotten any in a LONG TIME.
July 28th, 2009 at 3:27 pm
Drew Brees and Mikhail Gorbachev’s daughter.
July 28th, 2009 at 3:34 pm
Jim Brown and Rianna…. because people reading this thread need one more thing to feel wrong for laughing at.
July 28th, 2009 at 3:38 pm
Oakland Raiders fans and Melissa Stark. I’m sure they could get into her Black Hole.
July 28th, 2009 at 3:39 pm
♫ Wes Welkah and Serena Williams, to make Boston mad.
July 28th, 2009 at 3:45 pm
Osi Umenyora and Camille Grammer.
July 28th, 2009 at 3:45 pm
Warren Sapp and Michelle Kwan
July 28th, 2009 at 3:57 pm
Kenny Stabler and Mindy McCready
July 28th, 2009 at 3:57 pm
Matt Jones and Amy Winehouse
July 28th, 2009 at 4:03 pm
Sorry, but no. “Celebrity” couples are just about the most boring subject ever in the history of boring. The only NFL couple I’d really like to see is Michael Vick paired with a rabid pit bull.
I guess we’re all supposed to get some sort of vicarious thrill imagining how awesome being a couple with Jessica Simpson or Tony Romo has to be, but most celebrities seem boring as shit (when they’re not being giant assholes).
RE T-Bone Says:
“Hines Ward and Lucy Lu. No other relationship would bastardize the Rs and Ls of the Enrish Ranguage bettel.”
Have you ever heard Lucy Liu speak?
July 28th, 2009 at 4:07 pm
Steve McNair and Mary Jo Buttafuoco
July 28th, 2009 at 4:09 pm
Andy Dick has been invited to attend Packers training camp.
July 28th, 2009 at 4:10 pm
Steve Mcnair and Farrah Fawcett
July 28th, 2009 at 4:12 pm
@Slash: Have you ever heard Hines Ward speak in real life? He doesn’t REALLY speak like his KSK character. It’s a joke…
July 28th, 2009 at 4:16 pm
@Slash and a tampon. Geez dude, chill out.
July 28th, 2009 at 4:22 pm
Have you ever heard Lucy Liu speak?
That’s Rucy Riu to you rittre rady!!!
July 28th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
Nick Harris and Emma Watson
July 28th, 2009 at 5:14 pm
@Slash: It’s amazing the way you [notice two things].
Lucy Liu is the only woman to be named People Magazine’s sexiest woman of the year twice. In 2003 and then again in 2063.
Also – I pick Tedi Bruschi and Toni Braxton. Bad hearts, same initials; plus, maybe Letterman could introduce them at the Grammy’s.
July 28th, 2009 at 5:18 pm
Joe Theismann and a cardboard cut-out of Melissa Stark.
July 28th, 2009 at 5:24 pm
@Gino Tourettsa – Joe Theismann and Heather Mills would be better.
July 28th, 2009 at 5:29 pm
That’s WAY better.
July 28th, 2009 at 6:00 pm
No votes for Brandon Marshall and Rihanna? Is domestic violence not funny anymore?
July 28th, 2009 at 6:05 pm
A wimp and a blimp
July 28th, 2009 at 6:11 pm
@carlos
jim brown hits harder than some pussy wide receiver.
July 28th, 2009 at 6:28 pm
Al Davis and Joan Rivers
July 28th, 2009 at 7:09 pm
eli manning and his teddy bear
July 28th, 2009 at 7:22 pm
Daniel Snyder and Tom Cruise….like this wouldn’t make perfect sense.
July 28th, 2009 at 7:39 pm
shaun rogers and madonna, since she obviously has a weakness for athletes called “bitch tits”
July 28th, 2009 at 10:30 pm
NPH & Jeff Garcia’s Lisp
July 28th, 2009 at 10:39 pm
Jim Johnson & Satan
July 28th, 2009 at 10:58 pm
Lawrence Taylor and Whitney Houston
July 29th, 2009 at 8:10 am
Reggie White and Crissy Moran
July 29th, 2009 at 11:09 am
Michael Vick and Mary Louise Parker
July 29th, 2009 at 12:22 pm
I can’t imagine anyone is still reading these things, but I’m having too much fun to stop.
Michael Strahan and Anna Paquin
August 2nd, 2009 at 11:29 pm
Stephon Marbury and Courtney Love
August 2nd, 2009 at 11:32 pm
John Madden and a turducken
September 7th, 2009 at 11:43 pm
Eli Manning and Archie Manning