Archive for July, 2009

Bonus Sexy Friday: Catching Up With An Old Friend

Friday, July 31st, 2009

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It’s been quite a while since we featured Sarah Shahi, our favorite cheerleader-turned-actress, and it’s about damn time we see what she’s up to.

The last time we checked in Shahi’s new show Life was about to hit television screens nation wide, and somehow it lasted two full seasons before it was canceled (her other show, The L Word recently wrapped up its sixth and final season). Next up for Shahi is a role in the Untitled Beatle Boyin Project. More importantly, we’ve stumbled upon some pictures of her we hadn’t seen before!

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KSK Kontent Klearinghouse: Vick and Obama

Friday, July 31st, 2009

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The pit bull is drinking Blue Moon, because he’s a Nazi sympathizer you see. AJC cartoon via @PJHart.

- The Sporting News killed a bit of time by compiling a list of the 50 greatest coaches of all time, regardless of sport. Vince Lombardi is the highest ranked NFL coach at number two, and he’s joined in the top five by Don Shula (5). Bill Belichick (20) is the only active coach on the list. Of course all that really matters to me is Joe Gibbs (17) narrowly besting Tom Landry (18). So suck on that, Texas. Of note: Landry’s hat finished 49th, just ahead of some NHL coach nobody cares about.

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This Week’s KSK Commenter Draft: Pick Your Wedding Song

Friday, July 31st, 2009

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I worked as a table runner for a whole lotta weddings in my time. Would you like to know the preferred first dance song of Torrington, CT white trash? It’s “Wonderful Tonight,” by Eric Clapton. I never want to hear that song ever again as long as I live.

I’m now at the age where everyone I know is sick to death of attending weddings. Any single friends I have left better go elope in Vegas, because I’m not spending $1,000 to fly somewhere, sit in a hotel conference room, watch you dance to “At Last,” and do the Electric Slide. It’s just common sense. UNLESS IT’S THE WHELANS’ WEDDING! NO INVITE FOR THE KINGS OF MONTCLAIR, MICHAEL?!

Anyway, this week, it’s the wedding song draft. Pick one song for you and your bride/groom/Japanese manga pillow to have your first dance to. Wait ten picks until picking again. Guess I better pick my actual wedding song.

Can’t go wrong with Otis.

Sexy Friday Gets Up Early with Matthew Stafford

Friday, July 31st, 2009

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For the second week in a row, we get a sexy Friday courtesy #1 overall draft pick and future disappointment Matt Stafford and his SMOKIN’ blonde friend.  Sweet mother of mercy, I’d take her over a Seahawks Super Bowl win any day of the week.  Not that I’ll ever have either :(

Let’s turn that emoticon frown upside-down with more pictures after the jump.

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Reggie Bush loves the Ortega Taco???

Thursday, July 30th, 2009

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Business must not be too good, poor thing can’t even afford clothes that fit her.

Rumors have been flying concerning the Reggie Bush-Kim Kardashian split, but this is the one we like the best. Radar Online is reporting that a sexy Latina model was behind the breakup. Now she is ready to sell her story for cold hard cash:

“The model claimed a months-long affair that included hookups in Los Angeles, Las Vegas and Miami and included X-rated texts and phone messages. Kim was aware of the model’s charges and furious about it.”

The model’s last name appeared in the original version of the the post, but has since been redacted. However, KSK has reason to believe she is Carmen Ortega of Miami, who, in addition to being an attractive young woman, is also the president of South Beach Exotic Rentals.

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While KSK does not condone cheating on your significant other…, but, um…
yeah, what we were we talking about again?

More pics after the jump…
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On Dating Amputees and Co-workers: Your Fantasy Sex/Football Mailbag

Thursday, July 30th, 2009

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We’re trying something new with the mailbag this week.  Because a lot of you have similar sex questions from week to week and month to month, and because some of you insist on asking questions about drafting fantasy defenses, and because others feel like giving us three paragraphs of back story about your relationships, some of this week’s submissions have only a fantasy question OR a sex question.  Y’all got ch’asses EDITED.

But even half a question published is better than no question at all — if your query was ignored, we apologize: we received way more submissions than we could get to this week.  But enough babble: let’s get freaky.
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Kill Kill Kill: Not to Eat a Dead Horse, but I’m Ready for the Season to Start

Thursday, July 30th, 2009

Two days left in July, people.  Then it’s August.  August is the preseason.  The preseason sucks but at least it’s something.  Your fantasy draft is coming up.  For the first time since the draft, there are flickers of life on the NFL fan’s EKG.

We can do this.  If we stick together, we can do this.  All we have to do is watch enough video of a shark eating a dead horse off the coast of Fiji enough times, and we’ll make it to the NFL season.  NOM NOM NOM.  That’s the sound of anticipation, friends.

Wednesday, July 29th, 2009

sexy-naziDating a sexy Nazi?  Tell us all about it. Now’s the time to get in your questions for the weekly mailbag.  Remember: one fantasy sex question; one fantasy football question.  We favor brevity, honesty, and people who aren’t Bears fans.

Check out the sidebar for our email address.  No, you have to scroll down a little more.   More.  Little more.  There.  Under “contact and annoy us.”

Hey Pussy, Sorry About That Time I Called You a Pussy

Wednesday, July 29th, 2009

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Brian Urlacher: Hey there, Jay. Can I get a word with you?

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Jay Cutler: Huh? Now? Oh, all right Brian. What’s going on? I mean, not that I care. Whatever. Stuff sucks.

Brian Urlacher: Jay, dude, I wanna be straight with you. We gotta clear the air. You’re gonna hear a lot of noise about how I called you a pussy. Bobby Wade is shooting his mouth off. I don’t know if you heard yet.

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Wednesday, July 29th, 2009

jjAn Odd Bit Of News: Okay, so recently NBC asked me to do some blogging for them, and I said okay. Then they said, “You’ll be writing exclusively about the Cowboys.” And I said, “But I hate the Cowboys. They are Satan’s fecal afterbirth.” Then they said, “Well, here’s some money, monkey boy.” And then I said, “Oh, well in that case, AFTERBIRTH AHOY!” So that’s the story of how I ended up over over here. If you hate the Cowboys, fear not. I’ll still be doing the KSK and Deadspin stuff. Consider this my Emperor’s Club gig.