Why Yes, Jason and Brill Garrett Do Dress to Match
But that’s not all you can learn from Marty B’s new video tour of his “house” aka Cowboys Stadium. Oh no, there is so much more.
video via DMN
Tags: dallas cowboys, Martellus Bennett, MartyBTV, Unsilent Majority, YEEHAW MY TIGHT END IS F*CKIN' CRAZY!, youtubage
June 17th, 2009 at 12:36 pm
Given the choice, would you rather have a sane tight end? It’s really not as much fun.
June 17th, 2009 at 12:43 pm
Wait, her name is BRILL? What…was Shrill taken? What pipe smoking stepford wife names their daughter Brill? Oh I think I just answered my own question. Carry on…
/will watch video at home
//Damn you IT Nazis
June 17th, 2009 at 12:48 pm
Brill doesn’t like wearing the thong underwear, but she does what she can to match her husband.
June 17th, 2009 at 12:49 pm
Wait, her name is BRILL?
I believe she was played by Gene Hackman in the movie Enemy of the State.
June 17th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
Wow, MartyB. You got a lot to learn about video editing and Cowboy football. You do not, I repeat, do not cut away from Double JJ in mid-sentence. No matter how much that senile old fool is ramblin’. That’ll get you cut.
June 17th, 2009 at 1:06 pm
Are those food prices in pesos? Good lawd, that’s a lotta money!
June 17th, 2009 at 1:12 pm
“A fine eating is to be had at this exquisite establishment, my darling. A fine eating indeed. We shall enjoy this cultured cuisine and converse about the flight patterns of hornswallows and how the Shotgun offense can mimic its astounding beauty.”
June 17th, 2009 at 1:12 pm
$15 for a dry beef sandwich. How much for a fresh one?
June 17th, 2009 at 1:16 pm
She lacks a certain…”money grubbing whore” quality I’ve come to expect from most coaches wives.
What gives?
June 17th, 2009 at 1:17 pm
Socks with sandals? Check. $9 draft beers? Check. Offending “The Orient” Check. Just for chrissakes don’t say “Ostrich leather” again…
June 17th, 2009 at 1:27 pm
Don’t forget to add the Robin hat.
June 17th, 2009 at 1:28 pm
And John Garrett’s wife is Honor. Wow. Must an Ivy League thing. By Ivy League I mean rich white people.
/reminds me of Bucknell now that I think about it.
June 17th, 2009 at 1:31 pm
Who knew Hines Ward was moonlighting as a large screen TV salesman?
Also, the pyramids were made of Ostrich Leather, eh? How come my bitch of a history teacher never mentioned this?
June 17th, 2009 at 1:32 pm
*Must be an….
Fuck me I suck at typing.
June 17th, 2009 at 1:32 pm
Who is Miss Vickie and how long did she dance on a stripper pole for ol’ Double J to get an order of Jalapeno chips named after her?
June 17th, 2009 at 1:36 pm
That nine buck beer comes with a blowjob, right?
June 17th, 2009 at 1:37 pm
@ Kimbo. Yes, it does. But unfortunately, it comes from Leonard Davis.
June 17th, 2009 at 1:40 pm
Jason Witten sporting a shirt from the Ryan Braun collection…classy.
June 17th, 2009 at 1:47 pm
Like everything in Texas, the new Stadium appears to be tasteful and restrained in that Taylor Rain gape video sort of fashion.
June 17th, 2009 at 2:04 pm
Gape? Gay rape?
June 17th, 2009 at 2:23 pm
I think Marty B got rooked when he called China to order that “Mitsubishi” TV. It’s probably a Magnetbox or Panerfonic. Maybe a Carnavale.
June 17th, 2009 at 3:20 pm
Aw, these seats are some fuckin’ ostrich skin. You gotta get some of these, you little fucker.
/Bowlen’d
June 17th, 2009 at 3:23 pm
That stadium is compensating for Jessica Simpson.
June 17th, 2009 at 3:31 pm
Rocco, if you don’t know what “gape” is, you really don’t need to ask.
June 17th, 2009 at 3:47 pm
Kinda glad I’m not the first to express stupefaction at her name being “Brill.”
And they’re really impressed by the ostrich leather (if that is indeed actually ostrich leather). Is that some kind of new luxury material? Because ostrich leather boots have been around forever. Never seemed particularly luxurious to me.
The food those people are holding looks pretty good, but it would probably cost a regular person the same as if he/she went to a pretty nice restaurant in Dallas, to judge by the prices they showed us at the beginning. $8 for a Miller Lite? Ridiculous.
But the bathrooms have both hot and cold water, so there’s that to make up for the tremendously overpriced food and the extortionate ticket prices. Plus the cost to park.
June 17th, 2009 at 3:48 pm
all i noticed was:
ching chang ching chang walla walla bing bang!
and $9 drafts – FUCK!
June 17th, 2009 at 6:46 pm
I hope the rest of the women that are there have much bigger cans… and not just the 44oz. variety.
June 17th, 2009 at 11:52 pm
So does she call her bush the “Brill-o Pad”?
June 18th, 2009 at 1:23 am
to think ksk devotees would heap such opprobrium on america’s team. i don’t get it. jessica simpson is the second cumming of barbie benton (y’all of a certain experience level know of whom i speak). never indulge historical paybacks.