This Week’s KSK Commenter Draft: College You Wish You Had Attended
I attended two colleges: University of Michigan (for a single semester) and Colby College (for the rest). I had a decent time at school, but I wouldn’t say college was the mass baby oil orgy I had been promised in the brochure. We can’t all attend HOLY FACKIN’ CRAWSS, you know.
To that end, let’s have a do-over. You’re picking your dream college this week. Maybe it’s one you wish you had gone to. Maybe it’s one you hope to go to in the near future. Regardless, I suggest you follow Bill Simmons’ advice and forsake academic pedigree for favorable climate and above average female talent. My pick? U. Florida.
/looks at above picture
Yep, I made a terrible, terrible mistake in real life. Yours in the comments. Pick a school. REAL COLLEGES ONLY. Please wait 10 picks before picking again.
Tags: Big Daddy Drew, glad cornell rejected me, ksk commenter drafts, never go to school in maine
June 5th, 2009 at 12:30 pm
USC. Also would have coincided with 2 national championships.
June 5th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
Arizona State.
June 5th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
Tennessee. Holly R. Anderson influenced my vote.
June 5th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
The School of Hard Knockers
I woulda fixed that crusty Dean Bitterman good.
June 5th, 2009 at 12:33 pm
Florida State University mmmmmmmmmmmmm Jenn Sterger.
June 5th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
UT-Austin
June 5th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
Harvard… then I might have a job.
June 5th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
Gulf Coast Kommunity Kollege in Panama City Florida…..passed it in the bed of a pick-up truck with my buddy and 4 hot chicks while ripping beers on Spring Break one year
June 5th, 2009 at 12:35 pm
Ohio State, because I’m already a Pats and Red Sox fan so why not go for the douche trifecta?
June 5th, 2009 at 12:35 pm
What’s the over/under on how long it takes Maj to pick Universiteit van Amsterdam?
June 5th, 2009 at 12:36 pm
Arizona State makes the top ten playboy party school every year; and its warm.
June 5th, 2009 at 12:36 pm
Since I originally went to Harvey Mudd, I could go with just about anything here and it would be a vast improvement. That said, with my first pick I’ll take UCSB.
June 5th, 2009 at 12:36 pm
The U. I would have taken Florida then Florida St, but Miami has good poon to.
June 5th, 2009 at 12:36 pm
Colorado. Snowboarding every weekend.
June 5th, 2009 at 12:36 pm
Rice. Got in, couldn’t afford it. I’ve never seen a campus encourage underage drinking more than there. They have an annual school-sponsored event called Beer Bike and campus police walk right by large parties that couldn’t be more obviously illegal. Plus when you get out, companies have no idea how much of a party school you went to, they just seen the big name and give you a job.
June 5th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
My cock is glad I went to Arizona State but my brain wishes I had gone elsewhere.
June 5th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
UGA. Actually I should be startin Grad School there in the fall if they like the cut of my gib
June 5th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
Arizona State – do you know how many fucking Girls Gone Wild were filmed there??? Jesus why am I the only one taking a state filled with slutty blonds!
June 5th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
/retarded
I meant Arizona. Double-drafted
June 5th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
Others may pick places like Florida, USC, or Arizona State*, but for me it would be Universite de Bologna. Oldest in the world and with Italian chicks!
*(Note, I attended Arizona State)
June 5th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
UC San Diego. Good academics and more importantly good weather and good looking girls. I did enjoy my time at Boston U. though. Sucked that there was no football team, but it was still fun.
June 5th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
Pepperdine. Most gorgeous campus in the world.
June 5th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
Wisconsin. It may be cold and snowy four months of the year, but what do you think 105 pound college women do to stay warm?
June 5th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
Wisconsin… my alcoholism would have blended in perrrrrrfectly.
June 5th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
@lil’ wayne chrebet: Just because a school has a football team, doesn’t mean, you know, it has a football team. See my avatar.
June 5th, 2009 at 12:40 pm
Oxford University
Pubs every three feet and no waiting to turn 21 to get in. Wait until the end of every semester to do any coursework. London an hour away, and all of Europe stretched out before me.
Plus, if we’re getting a do-over on our actual college years, I would’ve been there when Radiohead was getting started and playing local gigs.
June 5th, 2009 at 12:40 pm
UNLV.
VEGAS. I’m a degenerate.
June 5th, 2009 at 12:41 pm
Your Wife’s Lipstick…..
I yield to you good sir or madam.
June 5th, 2009 at 12:41 pm
UC San Diego. Good academics and more importantly good weather and good looking girls.
Everyone I know who went to UCSD would disagree with you on the last point. however, if you like introverted Asian girls…
UCLA.
June 5th, 2009 at 12:41 pm
@Doc Holliday: when I went to the Super Bowl last year, I stayed in Tempe by the ASU campus. I immediately regretted every single decision that I made in life that had steered me away from going to ASU. “The Library” over there is no joke.
I’m taking Vanderbilt – hot SEC poon and an education that might get you a job
June 5th, 2009 at 12:42 pm
/retarded
I meant Arizona. Double-drafted
Hey, you would have fit right in.
June 5th, 2009 at 12:42 pm
San Diego State University — the most beautiful campus I’ve ever seen. And it would have to be better than Penn Screw-Up-Your-Life State.
June 5th, 2009 at 12:42 pm
I went to an engineering school. Not much wouldn’t be an upgrade. I guess I’d probably stay local and go to UNC. 4:1 girl to guy ratio. The exact opposite of the school I went to. I didn’t fuck that choice up…
June 5th, 2009 at 12:43 pm
Since YWL took mine, I’ll take UCLA and their golden-tanned ladies.
June 5th, 2009 at 12:43 pm
‘Zona, Florida, Texas…pretty much the exact opposite of NESCAC schools.
UVA, for me.
June 5th, 2009 at 12:43 pm
@lil’ wayne: good choice. That was *almost* my no. 1 pick. But SDSU, which is still on the board, has better (and sluttier) women. I’m in Al Davis mode, though, and with my second pick I’ll take a place that nobody’s ever heard of: The University of Kwa-Zulu Natal in Durban, South Africa. Cheap, close to some of the best surfing in the world, and do you have any noticed how much poon the guys with the British or Australian accents draw here in the U.S.? Well, it goes both ways.
June 5th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
University of Barcelona.
I don’t know anything about the school, but I know Barcelona is a swingin’ town and the Spanish and Catalan girls are smoking hot.
June 5th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
Kentucky
Since the badasspartying-warmclimate-sluttygirl colleges are taken
Why?
The ability to party with Henry Earl ‘The drinkinest nigga in Kentucky’
//holds the highest number of U.S. arrests ever.
June 5th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
God Fucking Damnit.
Fuck it, I’ll pick Indiana now since there is no way someone willl sneak that one in before I hit “submit.”
June 5th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
@CC well, I’m not getting AZ State level girls anytime soon. I’ll settle for horny nerdy girls. Meanwhile I’m sure SD is full of good looking girls that don’t attend the school.
June 5th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
Damn, I would have enjoyed the crap out of a football school — as a Hispanic brunette, though, I don’t think I could handle the serious depreciation of my looks that would come with a move to anywhere in the South. I’ll take Michigan.
June 5th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
Morehouse. I was probably smart enough to get in, but too dumb at 18 to see the value of attending an HBCU. Plus, booty-shakin’ soul sistas from the Durty Souf.
Chuh
Chuh
June 5th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
@Ottoman Oxford truly is the best place on earth. Good pick. With my next pick, I’ll take UC Santa Cruz. Mountains at one end of campus and beach at the other end. Sounds like Valhalla to me.
June 5th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
Because I’m a tremendous homer, Rutgers. Ass-backwards easy classes and Jersey girls all over the place? Sign. Me. Up. Again.
June 5th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
@Dave K – I passed one UNLV campus driving from the airport to my hotel on the strip last weekend and wondered how long I would have lasted before becoming homeless if I went here????
June 5th, 2009 at 12:48 pm
Holy Shit, I can’t believe someone drafted my alma mater (UCSD) ahead of the much better choice in the same city (SDSU).
June 5th, 2009 at 12:48 pm
@miamidesel – A Jersey’s Girl’s favorite line, “Don’t cum in my haaaaaa-iiiirrrr” (Brooklyn too)
June 5th, 2009 at 12:48 pm
Well, I go to Florida so this draft doesn’t apply to me.
HAHA, SUCK IT.
June 5th, 2009 at 12:48 pm
Oklahoma, because it would be nice to have an alma mater that actually won at sports and junk.
Fucking Minnesota.
June 5th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
Salisbury University. Cuz its the closest thing in the state of MD to one of them there “party schools” that ya’ll refer to. And I never fucking leave MD. Unless of course, its go to to Delaware. Dewey Beach!!
/restarts DelMarVaFlaWa
//bows to Ape for “DelMarVaFlaWa”
June 5th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
Duke.
/ducks
//hides
//builds bomb shelter out of desk
June 5th, 2009 at 12:52 pm
University of Hawaii…for obvious reasons.
June 5th, 2009 at 12:52 pm
Pepperdine. I’ll major in surfing.
June 5th, 2009 at 12:53 pm
Pfft, quit whining. I went to Ohio University. That dump hasn’t won a conference championship despite being in the MAC for more than 40 years. The year before I was a freshman, the football team went winless. For the first game of my freshman year, they played another team that had gone winless the year before AND THEY LOST. AT HOME.
June 5th, 2009 at 12:53 pm
U of Hawaii
NO BRAINER
June 5th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
University of South Florida. Get bullish on the Bulls.
June 5th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
@TDub
Ya beat be to it, and I did go there. Don’t know that I would trade it. A great mix of homegrown farmers daughters, Chicago party girls, crazy hillbillies up from Kentucky. I was a bartender just off campus, and it WAS a mass baby oil orgy.
June 5th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
GOD DAMMIT DICK GOZINIA YOU MOTHERFUCKER
I’ll change mine to Chaminade. Same state.
June 5th, 2009 at 12:55 pm
Goddammit Tracer, I wanted Morehouse.
I’ll take University of Virginia. A little bit of everything (weather, women, quality academics, decent if not great sports teams), plus their cafeteria food was amazing in 1995.
June 5th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
@ ODoyle Rulez- Yeah but for that first semester it would be GLORIOUS.
I’ll go with Illinois.
Big 10 football, I actually do enjoy the cold. And I could have gotten completely wasted when Juice Williams ran past the Buckeyes 2 years ago.
And nothing like riverboat gambling near Chicago. I mean AWESOME.
Also I probably could have met Obama and be workiong in the White house right now. Instead of the job I have that I hate.
June 5th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
University of Phoenix
They’ve got some really rowdy on-line fraternities
June 5th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
Ooh, got it: MCGILL. Montreal is the shit, the drinking age is 18, Canadian weed is cheap, fantastic, and easy to get, and I’d have Habs fans to get in fights with year-round. YES.
June 5th, 2009 at 12:58 pm
ugh grammar disaster… my excuse is that it’s Friday
June 5th, 2009 at 1:00 pm
Nice pick on McGill, FMRA. That one slipped my mind.
Don’t forget Montreal’s enlightened interpretation of what constitutes a massage. Sacre bleu!
June 5th, 2009 at 1:01 pm
I feel as though my 3rd pick will be whereever FMRA goes.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:01 pm
Kansas. Lawrence is awesome, all my friends who went there had a blast and my mom could have still done my laundry. Take heed, young ones. Don’t go to a fucking engineering school.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:02 pm
University of British Columbia.
Hello Vancouver, hello Whistler.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:03 pm
University of Texas. Great girls, great football. I could handle it.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
online university of pheonix.
i cry at graduations
/will never amount to anything
June 5th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
@ Westbrook – I’d let you go there too…don’t worry.
@ futuremrs – The only Habs fan worth fighting is George St. Pierre.
If I could travel back in time, I’d go to Southern Illinois University in the mid-80s because that place was legendary, especially the halloween parties.
My real pick is MIT. It would be a ridiculous grind for the 4+ years you’re there and the girls are smart (read: unattractive and moral), but you’d be looking at a rich, happy mofo post-college had I been able to get in.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
Middlebury, because i am a huge huge homosexual and i think i would fit in really well there.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
Universidade Castelo Branco
Because it is in Rio De Janeiro, Brazil
June 5th, 2009 at 1:06 pm
Any US college would have been cool, actually. I had to go to the University of Amsterdam. Sigh.
(and before you all go on a “DUDE STOP WHINING YOU GOT WEED!” squee fest, dutch girls suck. And not in a good way.)
June 5th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
St. Andrew’s University in Edingurgh, Scotland
Great academics, great thing to have on your resume, all of Europe right there for you and really hot, fiery Scottish chicks who can hold their liquor. Also, Edinburgh is a fantastic city.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
Pretty much any SEC school would do, but since Florida and UGA are gone, I’ll go with LSU.
http://coedmagazine.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/lsu-lead.jpg
(no nudity, but maybe NSFW)
June 5th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
South Carolina. Hottie southern girls. Plus I could be that douche nozzle who struts around with “Cocks” on his hat for a reason.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:08 pm
University of Texas. Great girls, great football. I could handle it.
Sure, if I hadn’t already taken it.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:09 pm
kendynamo: My sister graduated from Middlebury.
GAYEST.SCHOOL.EVER
Goddamn hippies….
June 5th, 2009 at 1:10 pm
But BDD, on the bright side, at least you attended the alma mater of the best brewers in Rhode Island. http://newportstorm.com/
June 5th, 2009 at 1:10 pm
@miami: Hope you mean New Brunswick and not Newark. No joke on easy classes though … Theatre Appreciation FTW.
Next pick, Wake Forest. Got in but didn’t have $100k+ laying around to afford it, curious to see how it would have been.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:10 pm
BYU-Hawaii. You might say, “But, Bullet. Mormons.” Man, some of the dirtiest chicks I knew in Las Vegas were Mormons. All that repression means that once those girls decide to break the rules, they break the rules with a goddamn vengeance.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:10 pm
Texas A&M. May not sound great, but Texas girls win, and you can’t argue with the most beer served per square foot on Earth. Also, I passed up on A&M to go to a small private school in ARKANSAS, and will regret that decision until the day that I die.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:11 pm
@ sportzak: Oooh, great pick. I should have thought of LSU.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
Virginia Tech.
Girls in mourning are vulnerable.
What?
June 5th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
Gallaudet University
Nothing turns me on more than chicks who can’t talk.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
North Carolina.
South enough to have the accents, southern hospitatality, no snow, and racism.
North enough to not have to worry about the football team getting railroaded by far superior SEC teams. And the basketball team isn’t terrible.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:14 pm
UBC-Vancouver, but only if I got a full ride because Vanny is fucking EXPENSIVE.
You can’t beat a college with it’s own beach, and the talent there is LEGIT.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:14 pm
Sorry, but the school with the HOTTEST chicks in So Cal is Long Beach State.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:14 pm
Starfleet Academy
Because green chicks are HOT
June 5th, 2009 at 1:14 pm
@Otto Man
I’m still going and you can’t fucking stop me!!
Second pick, Ole Miss. I don’t think it’s taken, and if it is, I don”t give a shit.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:16 pm
I’m going to Washington University in St. Louis for lawyerin’ school in the fall, and that campus is GORGEOUS. Plus, I know a bunch of people who went there as undergrads, and they’re all terribly intelligent but refreshingly down-to-earth. I could definitely have dug that scene for college.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:17 pm
Althought I also am a Sun Devil, if legal, I wish I went to Mesa Kummunity Kollege for an associates degree. Just down the street from ASU and is the place where the dum dum hotties go when they drink themselves out of ASU or they somehow can’t prove they have a pulse to get accepted to ASU
June 5th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
Miami (OH). Great party school, and every girl I’ve met from there is insanely attractive.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
@Jigga,
strippers gotta learn somewhere, I guess.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
Smith. The weather sucks, but at least I’d have gotten some lesbian action in college.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:19 pm
Emory.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:20 pm
Nice choice with McGill… even though I’d suggest HEC Montreal. Canada’s Top French-speaking Business School…
- More chicks per capita
- Loose morals
- Only 18 for everything
- Strips clubs… like you’ve never seen!
I loved it !
June 5th, 2009 at 1:20 pm
Ole Miss. Top talent, top tailgating, I guess good football now?
June 5th, 2009 at 1:21 pm
James Madison University. It’s about 70% female and the vast majoirty are 8s or better…
June 5th, 2009 at 1:21 pm
I’ll take a little place called Cornell … ever heard of it?
June 5th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
Notre Dame. I’ll be rich, insufferable and the goddamn echos have to wake up eventually.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
How fortunate for me I actually went to two of the top six picks (UF and GCCC).
June 5th, 2009 at 1:24 pm
I’ll take Northwestern since I have a boner for Chicago
June 5th, 2009 at 1:24 pm
Holy Cross. Just so I could have kicked the shit out of Bill Simmons and then immediately left in search of a school with presentable girls.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:25 pm
@Grimey — you tryin’ to say you’re better than us, college boy?
/spits in a bucket
June 5th, 2009 at 1:25 pm
I would have to say Ohio University. Too many bars within 100 feet of each other that offer beers for less then $2. Also a top 10 party school every year.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:26 pm
Did someone seriously pick Duke?
Do you prefer women who look like Abe Vigoda? If not, you chose poorly.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:26 pm
The Sorbonne. That way, I could have spent four years balls deep in some fancy French poon.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:27 pm
Plax, I graduation from MU Ohio this year. The talent is nice, but there are way too many insufferable douche bags. The place is infested with collar popping losers from Chicago who couldn’t get into Notre Dame and hillbillies from the Nati who scream WHO DEY on Wednesdays in March. But I had fun, so I can’t complain too much.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:27 pm
Auburn. My brother went there for grad school and the school is huge, the chicks were smokin’ and southern accents get me off.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:27 pm
@ TDubb… HAHA that’s Cal State Fullerton.
Long Beach gets the girls that end up working retail.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:31 pm
UPenn would have been a good time, I think. Philly’s cool, and I always enjoyed myself at the parties there. Plus, it has the advantage of being the only Ivy you can name-drop without people looking at you like you’re a complete asshole. Woohoo.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:32 pm
Miami OH is a terrible pick. Snobby, yet good looking women. You have to pay to get into bars??? This is college right?
June 5th, 2009 at 1:32 pm
UCLA: was all set to walk-on the football team and work my way into the lineups when I got calls from 3 Ivies in the same weekend. Ended up @ Columbia which had “tolerable” talent but was supplemented by the batshit-insane gals from other nearby schools (Barnard, FIT, NYU, AMDA… ah, actress school!). The reason for the UCLA choice: went to a USC/UCLA game at the Rose Bowl and it seemed to my young eyes that the entire stadium was filled with ridiculous hotties (this was in ‘89-’90). Shoulda’ went with the first instinct…
June 5th, 2009 at 1:32 pm
If Bama is around, ill take that too. Nice women.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:33 pm
Trinity College of the University of Dublin.
Darlin’ sportin’ Irish colleens who could probably out-drink you, great academics in a great city in a great country. Guid craic.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:35 pm
Number one pick would be Florida… but I’ll go with TCU. Good football, hot women. I was accepted but couldn’t afford it. Went to North Texas instead. Worst football team ever.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:35 pm
@Drew
Colby? I had no idea. About 15 seconds of internets research has revealed that you graduated a year ahead of my brother. If you took as many drugs as he did to deal with the winters, that will explain a lot.
Penn St. Every girl I met who went there was a whore, and not that bright. How can you beat that combination?
June 5th, 2009 at 1:36 pm
University of Waikato at Tauranga (New Zealand). http://uwt.waikato.ac.nz/
I went to NZ a few years ago. Had I gone at 18, I never would have come back.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:37 pm
Cal Poly San Luis Obispo
Close to the beach, super cheap with a great reputation, the best of both Northern California (brunettes) and Southern California (blondes)
June 5th, 2009 at 1:38 pm
University of the Virgin Islands… all the rum and live on a boat
June 5th, 2009 at 1:39 pm
Moscow State University. During the debauched 1990’s.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:39 pm
I’ll take another 4 years in State College, please. Penn State. Again. Did fine with the ladies and partied my ass off.
@Spatula: Sorry you didn’t enjoy yourself.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:39 pm
Villanova
It’s close to Philly, but in the nice suburbs. It’s got quality co-eds. It’s going to go to multiple Final Fours in the next decade. It’s got quality co-eds. Did I mention the bitches were hot?
June 5th, 2009 at 1:40 pm
Yale still on the board? Eh why not I’ll take it. Might look good on a resume or something.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:40 pm
@futuremrsrickankiel
two things
1) Don’t know what you like look, but since you’re a “Hispanic brunette” unless you way 300 pounds I’m willing to guess that you’ll be one of the better looking women at Wash U. I visited some of my friends who go there, and man were those girls unattractive. And that’s coming from someone who goes to an Ivy school.
2) Speaking of which, I go to Penn. So great fourth selection.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:41 pm
Rutgers. a mini Ivy leaguer. Good Football.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:42 pm
U of Houston, hot ass Texas girls and UT’s school of nursing is located there.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:42 pm
@Kid Presentable: thanks for pointing that out, I should’ve clarified that I meant New Brunswick (and NOT Newark or Camden). Glad to know someone else on here knows about the joys of Theater Appreciation at RU (imagine taking that your last semester like I did)
@Gord: Cornell fucking sucks. Don’t give me some argument about “how do you think those girls stay warm when it’s so cold outside” (they’re mostly hideous) or “its a great college town” (no, its not – bars shut down 11ish many nights. But you could always go to Syracuse for a good time!) or any bullshit like that. Ithaca BLOWS. I couldn’t transfer out of there fast enough after my first year in law school.
@FMRA: don’t go to law school. Just don’t. I’m happy to elaborate, but seriously, it boils down to just don’t fucking do it.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:44 pm
I wouldn’t change a thing. UCSB. (U Can Study Baked).
June 5th, 2009 at 1:44 pm
Gallaudet University
Nothing turns me on more than chicks who can’t talk.
Oh, they can talk. A lot. You can’t understand a God-damned word they say, and it hurts your ears, but they can talk.
They’re especially fond of neverending vitriolic diatribes against cochlear implants that go on so long and so loud that you decide you don’t want to bother trying for a repeat of that amazing blow job you got last week.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:44 pm
I’m shocked that the U of Rhode Island is still on the board.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
University of Michigan.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
Westbrook, as I recall, Villanova has been identified by Playboy as having the best-looking women of any campus… more than once, I think. So your statement that “the bitches were hot” is, in fact, empirically verifiable.
Sportzak, I neither “way” nor weigh 300 pounds (Penn? Really?), but I’m not terribly worried about where my looks will land me since I’ll be living with my boyfriend… which, as we all know, will make me a thousand times hotter by virtue of being unattainable. YES.
Fuck it, I’m drafting Tulane despite the fact that a move south of the Mason-Dixon means devaluation for me. I’m obsessed with New Orleans. Although I think I recall something happening during my collegiate years that might have caused problems… some kind of rainstorm…
June 5th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
@miamidiesel, Ithaca, 15 square miles surrounded by reality
June 5th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
Princeton. I bet there are a lot of rich kids there who could use a black friend.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
@ryan: you’re an hour late buddy, the Scarlet Knights are mine.
And for my next pick I’m taking the Indian Institutes of Technology. Pride of India, bitches
June 5th, 2009 at 1:49 pm
@miami — actually junior year, saved Italian Culture and World Of Insects for my last semester. Great class though.
And uhhhh, Georgetown. Sure.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:50 pm
“Sportzak, I neither “way” nor weigh 300 pounds (Penn? Really?)
Jeez FMRA, I wonder why people would think your Princeton-educated ass was at all assholish?
/also a Penn alum
June 5th, 2009 at 1:51 pm
For my third pick I’ll take a flier and go with Vassar College. I’m surrounded by spoiled princesses whose daddies paid little to no attention to them, and I’m the only straight male on campus. Plus, it’s a pretty decent school. Might be a solid late round pick.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:52 pm
@ TDub
I will echo BigRedEd. As a Bloomington resident I can tell you that IU has plenty of quality ladies and the night life here is pretty good as well considering Bloomington is located in southern Indiana.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:52 pm
@KP: World of Insects? Now that sounds like some good learnin’. And I thought me taking “Environmental Issues” was bad. I also took that Human Sexuality class that’s at like 8am on Douglass, which was not the cakewalk I expected. Did you by any chance take Wine Tasting?
June 5th, 2009 at 1:53 pm
@Joe Slice: Nice steal there. Wish I’d thought to pick SLO.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:53 pm
University of the West Indies, Jamaica. The education might not be the greatest, but the weed probably is.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:54 pm
@Otto- I already went to an SEC school. Figured I’d try to get an actual education this time around.*
*Vandy, notwithstanding.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:54 pm
@miamidiesel, Ithaca, 15 square miles surrounded by reality
If by “reality” you mean double-wide trailers and dying farms, then yes.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:55 pm
I’ll take NYU. I mean, it’s fucking New York City.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:56 pm
@Otto- I already went to an SEC school. Figured I’d try to get an actual education this time around.
Fine, but Duke?
Most of the Ivies are on board, or Berkeley, or Cambridge … but you choose the University of New Jersey at Durham?
June 5th, 2009 at 1:56 pm
@Miami: Nah, don’t think Wine Tasting was offered for some reason. But I did take Dinosaurs, which was surprisingly the hardest fucking class ever.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:56 pm
Stanford’s still around?
YOINK
June 5th, 2009 at 1:58 pm
University of New Orleans. Me and FMRA are gonna have absinthe and French 75s in the Quarter.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
One last pick before the ride home.
Kentucky. Chicks. The Derby. Hoops. Ashley Judd.
Win.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
Plax, I graduation from MU Ohio this year.
Oooh! Him good read card!
June 5th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
@ Zack: SDSU is a pretty solid choice. Did you go to school there?
June 5th, 2009 at 2:00 pm
What about Vandy? Hot rich southern women…grrrrr!
June 5th, 2009 at 2:01 pm
Apologies if I got this wrong but ummmm….UNIVERSITY OF FUCKING MIAMI FLORIDA was not picked??? I’ll stay home for that pussy, thank you.
June 5th, 2009 at 2:02 pm
Clemson baby!
Suprised no one has taken SMU yet. Crazy hot, rich tail.
BA from Florida State, MS from Buruch College, JD from SMU. One of these is not like the other.
FMRA: I echo miamidiesel, DO NOT GO TO LAW SCHOOL!
Can we do a fuck you Wednesday for law school?
June 5th, 2009 at 2:03 pm
@Otto, that was me. It’s something the locals say for various reasons.
June 5th, 2009 at 2:03 pm
I didn’t take SDSU (I just mentioned that it was on the board – went to a few fun parties there but it’s not my kind of place) – I went to Harvey Mudd.
June 5th, 2009 at 2:04 pm
Alright, unless I missed it, LSU is still on the board. New Orleans…down the road just far enough.
June 5th, 2009 at 2:05 pm
Sweet, Tracer… as you’re no doubt aware, I’m actually in need of a black friend. Oh, and French 75s are the absolute tits, especially when served properly in a champagne glass (some places do them in martini glasses, which RUINS THEM UGH).
June 5th, 2009 at 2:05 pm
I’ll take U of S. Florida. Tons of Florida girls and not far from Mons Venus
June 5th, 2009 at 2:06 pm
university of oregon.
many many hot chicks there. fucking rain though.
June 5th, 2009 at 2:06 pm
Georgia Southern… then FSU, then Ole Miss, then Zona St.
June 5th, 2009 at 2:07 pm
@johndewar: amen. i can’t wait for arts fest to be the unnecessarily belligerent alumni. best decision of my life.
June 5th, 2009 at 2:07 pm
UU did that get taken?
June 5th, 2009 at 2:09 pm
Hampshire College, I am into body hair, especially on women.
June 5th, 2009 at 2:12 pm
I go to my favorite blog on Earth because I’m feeling a little pissed, and what do I see but sluts from the evil University of Florida. I hate my life.
June 5th, 2009 at 2:12 pm
I wouldn’t have gone to law school…
Oh wrong draft, well, I would go to fricken WAYNE STATE law school as I would have saved about 150G in student debt and pretty much have had the same career. Instead, I went to an expensive 4-tier law school in Chicago because I also have “a boner” for Chicago.
/thirty year old paying for the mistakes of a 21-year old.
June 5th, 2009 at 2:13 pm
FMRA, Tulane seems great but actually is an atrocious school full of JAPs and whatever their male counterparts are from Long Island (putzs?) really, 40% of the student body is from Long Island
I’d have to say somewhere in China, I’d be primed to make millions then and could start my own cock-swallowing college in my harem.
June 5th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
@b19975: late to the party buddy, that was my first pick
@StoneCutter: you mean to tell me you’re not a fan of legal education that costs upwards of $120K (and probably $150K+ for most) and doesn’t teach you jack shit about how to actually be a lawyer (let alone the pain of actually being a lawyer)? I agree with you, that’s good grounds for a This Week in Fuck You. Cut that shit down to no more than two years (maybe with a third year apprenticeship to an actual lawyer or something) and get rid of about half the law schools in this country and maybe you’ll start to fix that shit.
June 5th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
Oh, and somewhere other than Tennessee. The girls there are frigid, and the sports teams invariably disappoint. Now, I’m stuck having to root for Lane fucking Kiffin.
June 5th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
Has the Wanda Trossler School of Beauty been taken yet?
Unless “Real Genius” lied to me, those student beauticians know how to party.
June 5th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
Damn, Rock, remind me of why I was budget conscious and visited two SUNY campuses. Thanks!
June 5th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
Next pick: Colorado State. I plan to be a ski bum in my next life.
Georgia Southern was a great pick at this point.
June 5th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
Can’t pick UCF over in Orlando, since I went there, dropped out and joined the military due to too much partying. I had friends who went to FSU, came down to visit and marveled at how hot and skanky our broads were. Ridiculous amounts of partying… I’m kinda bragging, but kinda not because now I’m stationed in Abilene fucking Texas. So, if I had to pick a school, I’d go with Arizona state and repeat the horrible cycle…only in a new state!
/was stationed in Okinawa, Japan for the last two years, so it kinda balances out.
June 5th, 2009 at 2:16 pm
If I could legitimately do college over again, I’d go out of state and accept the scholarship to Southwest Missouri State. Really dumb move on my part not to go.
June 5th, 2009 at 2:18 pm
BA from Florida State, MS from Buruch College, JD from SMU. One of these is not like the other.
Let me guess. The one that’s misspelled?
June 5th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
THE Fort Lewis College. Durango, CO
June 5th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
miamidiesel: as of this moment I owe $101,211 (five years out) and could not get a job when I graduated. We have way too many law schools and way too many lawyers.
June 5th, 2009 at 2:20 pm
@Your Wife’s Lipstick
What do I think 105 pound women do to keep warm at Wisconsin? From what I’ve seen, add about 45 pounds of insulation.
June 5th, 2009 at 2:21 pm
Oregon State, because I love beavers
June 5th, 2009 at 2:21 pm
George Mason University. Far enough away from DC so the campus is nice, but close enough to get with slutty Georgetown girls…
June 5th, 2009 at 2:22 pm
Miskatonic University
You might have seen it in “The Reanimator”. The coeds there are pretty good looking- just stay away from the medical school.
June 5th, 2009 at 2:23 pm
@ FMRA: Yeah, we (the Brothas) had a meeting about that and despite our deep and abiding love of Hispanic women with big, round rumps, nobody was willing to become the only black guy in Boston. But in NOLA? Yeah, we gon’ kick it in NOLA.
June 5th, 2009 at 2:23 pm
Cornell rejected you, huh, Drew? Well, I went there, and I don’t think you missed much. Unless you happen to like stumbling up huge fucking hills in the middle of winter with visibility at around 6 inches while little frozen bullets are being driven into your face at around Mach 1. One nice thing is that for some inexplicable reason there are loads of hot girls at Ithaca College.
“If by “reality” you mean double-wide trailers and dying farms, then yes.”
Yes, and don’t forget the racist, methed-out hicks.
I should have gone to Berkeley. I could have gotten the hilarious granola atmosphere and good education with much better weather.
June 5th, 2009 at 2:23 pm
@ Otto: BARUCH! What do expect? I went to Florida State.
June 5th, 2009 at 2:24 pm
For my final pick, I’m going to Bovine University.
June 5th, 2009 at 2:25 pm
@futuremrsankiel
UPenn … has the advantage of being the only Ivy you can name-drop without people looking at you like you’re a complete asshole.
That’s because they think you mean Penn State. Talking from experience.
June 5th, 2009 at 2:26 pm
i went to manhattan college then to the U for grad school last year. MC was cool, but nothin compared to going to a school with a football team (kinda), hot girls and SoBe. should have gone there for undergrad.
my choice: UDel. dewey, decent girls, kinda close to phily/dc
June 5th, 2009 at 2:27 pm
@ Otto: BARUCH! What do expect? I went to Florida State.
Just that.
June 5th, 2009 at 2:27 pm
MIT – so I could join the blackjack team, make bank in Vegas, and have sex with the girl who played Lois Lane in the last Superman flick
June 5th, 2009 at 2:28 pm
The Ohio College of Clowns.
http://www.ohiocollegeclowningarts.com/
June 5th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
That Clown College billboard had absolutely NO effect on me!
June 5th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
BTW- best thing about attending UCLA was hitting on the nursing students from nearby Mt. Saint Mary’s College. Far lower maintenance than the undergrad ladies.
June 5th, 2009 at 2:31 pm
Far as I can tell, UC-Berkeley is still on the board (it’s been mentioned, but not taken), so I’ll snap that up with my fourth pick.
June 5th, 2009 at 2:32 pm
@sdbruin: “You watch too many movies, Sax.”
June 5th, 2009 at 2:33 pm
Washington State. Shitty Farm town, but great college atmosphere…
pullman, wa is .0001% if of the American Population but sells 13% of all Anheiser-Busch sales
June 5th, 2009 at 2:34 pm
FMRA: I hate you for taking McGill, and DO NOT GO TO LAW SCHOOL!!!!
I’d go to The Citadel, hot southern chicks love a man in uniform, and a guaranteed job when I graduate.
June 5th, 2009 at 2:35 pm
The University of Washington…..
Sure it rains, but it’s still Pac-Ten Poon
June 5th, 2009 at 2:40 pm
I am going to take FIU with my second pick. Its in Miami so you still get the women but yo have the pleasure of watching Isiah on the sidelines!
June 5th, 2009 at 2:40 pm
I went to a private DIII to play football, then to law school…I just graduated and now I’m $198k in debt and competing for $25k a year athletic administration positions.
LAW SCHOOL CAN EAT A DICK!!!
June 5th, 2009 at 2:40 pm
@Zach: I especially like the “Not Penn State” t-shirts they sell in the bookstore. I almost got one for my mom because she kept calling it Penn State instead of UPenn.
@Stonecutter: I feel your pain, brother. Though I was lucky enough to have (and still have) a job at graduation last year, I’ll be digging out of the debt hole for a while
My next pick, since its still on the board – Columbia. I mean, it is in NYC and all
June 5th, 2009 at 2:41 pm
@Scumdog0331: welcome to the club.
@FMRA: I hope you notice a certain theme here with all the lawyers
June 5th, 2009 at 2:42 pm
San Francisco – Hetero male filling the needs of underserved hetero females, beautiful city, nice school. Great value at this point of the draft.
June 5th, 2009 at 2:43 pm
I’ll take Wellesley as my final pick. Men are such pigs!
June 5th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
For my last pick and since all the hot girl destinations are taken: Montana State. Bozeman is a pretty cool town, and you’re close to Yellowstone.
June 5th, 2009 at 2:45 pm
Draft Day Analysis:
No surprises here. The Pac-Ten is closed out. The SEC is mostly closed out and Arkansas is still on the board.
June 5th, 2009 at 2:45 pm
@miamidiesel: I can see this thread devolving quickly.
June 5th, 2009 at 2:46 pm
Anyone taking Penn is insane, unless FMRA is being smart and realizing that a 6 in the real world is a 10 at Penn. Seriously, I went there for undergrad. Nasty change from growing up in LA.
Law school is tough right now. I’m a recruiting partner at a large firm, and NOBODY is hiring. We’re doing well and I could use some help (I practice bankruptcy law), but I’m retraining corporate and real estate associates so they can keep their jobs.
June 5th, 2009 at 2:46 pm
Oh, and since we already know I’m a pretentious git: I’m going to skewl for free.
June 5th, 2009 at 2:48 pm
Loyola Marymount. Beautiful campus, great weather, no pretension, gorgeous girls with money to burn and lacking ambition.
June 5th, 2009 at 2:48 pm
@fmra. Fair enough
June 5th, 2009 at 2:49 pm
I’m a Michigan grad (97) – I knew Drew was cool. You wouldn’t have gone there for the women in my day. Football for sure. Women? No. About a year after I graduated, I was back on campus for a game, and noticed that the talent had gotten much better. Not stellar by any means, but way better than it had been. I guess when your standards were so low for so long, anything would have been an improvement.
I’m going to take Faber College. It’s fictional, but it’s real in my heart.
June 5th, 2009 at 2:51 pm
“Knowledge Is Good”
June 5th, 2009 at 2:51 pm
University of Bangkok, Grasshopper.
June 5th, 2009 at 2:51 pm
University of Bangkok, Grasshopper.
June 5th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
Humboldt State: great bud and hairy unwashed hippie chicks. What’s not to like?
June 5th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
If I have to take a real college, and because there are like 200 picks already, I’ll pick Drake (in Iowa). Every girl I’ve met that went there has been hot and blonde.
June 5th, 2009 at 2:55 pm
Clown College? You can’t eat that!
June 5th, 2009 at 2:56 pm
Adams College, home of the Atoms. Those Mus sure know how to party!
June 5th, 2009 at 2:57 pm
@FMRA: bitch. In all seriousness, I love being a lawyer. But getting to this point was a colassal pain in the ass that I would not repeat.
June 5th, 2009 at 2:58 pm
@fmra: Let’s see…you respond to everyone’s hatred of law school by trumpeting your accomplishments (I’m going free), and seem fairly enamored with yourself.
You know what…go to law school, It’s designed for people like you.
June 5th, 2009 at 2:59 pm
@FMRA: there’s more reasons than the debt load to spare yourself from going to law school. I think others will agree with me.
@my nuts your chin: I’m an associate at a big law firm where they’re commandeering people from other practice groups into the bankruptcy group right and left and still booting some people out the door. Would suck to be on the market right now.
June 5th, 2009 at 3:00 pm
FMRA – Finished Grad school at WashU in 02. Good times, fun school. Made me think about moving back to the Lou.
June 5th, 2009 at 3:01 pm
Oh and I want to change my pick to that Medical School in Grenada we rescued in the 80’s. From the old footage, there wasn’t a hell of a lot of book learning going on there.
June 5th, 2009 at 3:19 pm
I’m a little late to the party, but I’d take the University of Texas in a heartbeat if I could have a do-over. It’s got solid academics, warm weather, good sports, and hot/smart girls. I go to BC now, and the the girls are fine, but the cold is something I could do without. Plus, I’d like to see a team I root for win at something.
June 5th, 2009 at 3:21 pm
Value Pick: Georgia Tech.
I’d get a good education, I’d have virtually no competition as most of the populace are douchebags or Magic-card players, and there’s metric tons of hot SEC poon in the area lookign for a sugar daddy who’d actually be employed. Win.
June 5th, 2009 at 3:21 pm
Universidade Federal do Rio de Janeiro.
My reasoning should be self explanatory.
June 5th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
I would definately just stay at WVU……..all thats there is hot girls and goofy looking guys
June 5th, 2009 at 3:31 pm
Glad to see someone took my school (SMU).
Not glad to see there are no legitimate options left… so I’ll just have to settle for real life. And my 6 figure debt to the government for allowing me to attend SMU.
June 5th, 2009 at 3:31 pm
University of Montana. Only because I used to work with a girl who went there and I really wanted to fuck her.
June 5th, 2009 at 3:42 pm
FMRA…the problem with Penn is that, well, you spent all of that money and went to Penn…the safety Ivy (along with Cornell)…might as well get real with it…
June 5th, 2009 at 3:45 pm
I did my grad at Rutgers and I echo MiamiDiesel on this…I did my ugrad at another school (had a good time, but worked hard) and Rutgers was essentially a do-over. I had my own place, fully funded, a bit older (24), with my own place on a campus FULL OF JERSEY GIRLS. Just…
sigh…
a great time all around.
June 5th, 2009 at 3:46 pm
@Gino
St Andrews isn’t in Edinburgh, it’s about an hour away.
/living in Edinburgh
June 5th, 2009 at 3:48 pm
@tupa2keyshawn: qualified by the fact that all Ivy League schools are gay, the safety Ivies are Cornell, Dartmouth and Brown. UPenn and Columbia are probably the middle tier (and also the best located schools) and Princeton/Yale/Harvard are the legit all-around quality schools/uber-douchebag breeding grounds. I will also point out that though the overall percentages are still low, UPenn and Columbia churn out the highest percentages of likeable graduates
June 5th, 2009 at 3:51 pm
@tupa2keyshawn: glad you also enjoyed RU. I had a blast for four years, but my dick regrets not going to Arizona State
June 5th, 2009 at 3:59 pm
@ Conrete Jungle
My mistake about the St. Andrew’s pick. I’m the grayt git. I haven’t been to Scotland in years but I absolutely loved the fookin’ place and wanted to make a University pick based on that. So have someone you know in real life buy you several drams of uisce beatha tonight.
June 5th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
When did Rice become a “big name”? I think Oregon State is still available (for good reason) as far as the Pac-10 is concerned. Went to Washington, no regrets, but for sure would’ve picked ASU knowing what I know now. Gotta stay on the west coast fo sho.
June 5th, 2009 at 4:08 pm
The school I attend is still on the board (Fordham), which tells me I should choose somewhere else. I’d have to go South or West, and I think Miss. St. is still on the board.
June 5th, 2009 at 4:10 pm
A place I could get in?
Delaware
A place I couldn’t get in?
Princeton
June 5th, 2009 at 4:12 pm
Tulane. Even after the levees broke… Tulane.
June 5th, 2009 at 4:15 pm
University of Manila.
Asian chicks with Latina genes? I win. Game over.
June 5th, 2009 at 4:15 pm
Camden College from ‘The Rules of Attraction’. Liberal arts school with plenty o’ drugs and ‘Dress to get Scewed’ parties. I would have gone to Stanford for free cause my Father worked there, but i’m an idiot and couldn’t get in. So I went to Solano Community College. Yeah, I know, fuck me.
June 5th, 2009 at 4:22 pm
Nevermind. Camden does not exist. Again, fuck me. Camden was based on Bennington college in Vermont, I think. Bennington it is.
June 5th, 2009 at 4:26 pm
I can’t believe no one took this yet, but University of Miami (Florida). So many hot women there.
June 5th, 2009 at 4:35 pm
Camden was based on Bennington college in Vermont, I think. Bennington it is.
“Bennington? Oh great, the place for people who can’t get into Middlebury.”
I can’t believe no one took this yet, but University of Miami (Florida).
If by “no one” you mean “two people” then yes.
June 5th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
I’m from Hawaii.
Went to Notre Dame. Now back in Hawaii.
While my brain, my alcohol tolerance and my mortgage thank me for going to Notre Dame…
My cock is still bitter that I left Hawaii in the first place.
June 5th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
@Rar288:
13th comment, 12:36PM.
June 5th, 2009 at 4:47 pm
“Pardon me. Where does First Grade Draftology 101 meet?”
June 5th, 2009 at 4:49 pm
George Washington University. Party school right in the middle of downtown DC. Plus, the boys at GW were totally easy if you were even decent-looking, from what I understand. That’s entertainment, right there.
/hating this draft for making me realize how long ago college was
June 5th, 2009 at 5:01 pm
I went to Loyola University of New Orleans. And I went 0 for 4 years while in college. Fun times!!
After reading through the comments section on a previous sex mailbag, I get the impression Vanderbilt was the place to be. It would’ve been nice to get some extracurricular activity in before graduating.
June 5th, 2009 at 5:10 pm
College of Charleston
June 5th, 2009 at 5:11 pm
“The Velvet Jones School of Technology” Ho’s gotta learn the trade somewhere.
June 5th, 2009 at 5:17 pm
Went to Northwestern and now work near Arizona State. Mill Ave on Thurs – Saturday Night = Good Times
June 5th, 2009 at 5:24 pm
Bemidji State University
I like hockey, fishing, small schools, and women from minnesota. Perfect school for a boy like me.
June 5th, 2009 at 5:29 pm
Plus, the boys at GW were totally easy if you were even decent-looking, from what I understand.
As opposed to the guys in college who don’t want to get laid?
June 5th, 2009 at 5:30 pm
University of Vermont.
Weed.
June 5th, 2009 at 5:34 pm
@ tupa2keyshawn –
the problem with Penn is that, well, you spent all of that money and went to Penn…the safety Ivy (along with Cornell)…might as well get real with it…
Get real? At Penn we set those Princeton fuckers on fire. (Or at least approach it)
http://media.www.dailypennsylvanian.com/media/storage/paper882/news/2002/11/18/News/Princeton.Student.Assaulted.In.Quad-2156239.shtml
June 5th, 2009 at 5:51 pm
I’m going to go to Hollywood Upstairs Medical College. Sure, the time from orientation to graduation would be less than 8 hours, but I could pick up girls using my prescription pad. I already eat sandwiches with pop-tarts instead of bread, and chew bacon instead of gum.
Goodbye, everybody!
June 5th, 2009 at 6:05 pm
what, no one wants to go to Baylor?? Texas girls, 65% female student body, Big 12 doormat…whats not to love?
June 5th, 2009 at 6:09 pm
Texas State University (formerly Southwest Texas State University) – San Marcos, Texas
30 minutes to Austin, 40 minutes to San Antonio – Texas Country Music scene is alive and well there.
Plus, the first time that I went there I ended up making out with a bikini model at Nephews – then banging a green eyed mexican.
June 5th, 2009 at 6:11 pm
Bucknell served me well (good education, decent girls), but yeah, a warm climate school would have been nice. 260 comments later and I can’t even imagine what’s left…Vandy would have been my pick. SEC sports, SEC girls, good engineering program, and in Nashville? Yes please.
June 5th, 2009 at 6:16 pm
People usually ask how I’m enjoying “Penn”.
I go to Penn State. So I guess that works both ways.
June 5th, 2009 at 6:16 pm
University of Bosphorus in Istanbul, Turkey. It’s prestigious, the girls are hot and ultra slutty to rebel against the government, the campus is beautiful, students from English speaking countries can teach entry level english classes, which means you are guaranteed extra poon and Istanbul is seriously one of the greatest party cities ever.
June 5th, 2009 at 6:16 pm
cannot believe Brandeis has not been taken… awful architecture and dorms, worse sports, located in scenic waltham, MA (watch city!), and the girls? all the future lady rabbis you could want! what more could anyone ask for? And yet still the best four years of my life. hmph.
June 5th, 2009 at 6:17 pm
Arizona State treated me really well. I’d go back there again… and maybe actually graduate this time.
June 5th, 2009 at 6:18 pm
Definitely Oaksterdam University. Bay Area, and they have a high job placement rate with the local dispensaries and growers.
June 5th, 2009 at 6:58 pm
268 fucking comments? There aren’t even 50 colleges/universities/devry institutes that are really all that better than any other fucking college. And they’re all pretty fucking obvious.
Hi, I’m at Springfield Uinversity it’s got like 10% hot chicks, maybe some freak highschool townies, and decent but not ‘employment level’ drugs. what the fuck ever. At least it isn’t Springfield A&M.
Except Port Chester. When I finally go to college I’m going to totally look up that one chick that showed me around campus.
/watches shower scene, reevluates life in the pit
//funk you very much
June 5th, 2009 at 7:01 pm
University of Houston is only for foreigners and affirmative action. There are no hot chicks that have ever attended UofH.
June 5th, 2009 at 7:04 pm
The secret order of Balls and Shaft is calling CoopSuper.
June 5th, 2009 at 7:26 pm
Hawaii would’ve been my first choice. Maybe I’m romanticizing the islands but with the scenery, the girls, and the weather, I can’t see not waking up every day with a smile on my face. Unless I lived near a volcano.
If I have to pick some place not taken yet, I guess I’d choose Pitt. I went to Carnegie Mellon because I had no desire to leave the City of Champions but I regret the fact my school had a pathetic social scene and awkward, uber-serious dork girls. Pitt would at least let me tap into the biggest source or drunken sluts in the area…and their psych department isn’t terrible.
I do worry that it wouldn’t challenge me intellectually enough, however. I’m sure there’s a small private school somewhat nearby with good academics but decent chicks… Unfortunately, I couldn’t find it 8 years ago and can’t find it now.
June 5th, 2009 at 7:48 pm
@Mrs. Italian Spiderman
GWU? I went to GWU. You didn’t miss much.
You want hot chicks? Pick LSU.
June 5th, 2009 at 8:56 pm
Hawaii Pacific. Huge sleeper pick.
June 5th, 2009 at 9:22 pm
Yearly Top 10-15 party school, legit education, competent athletics and still available after nearly 300 comments
University of Iowa.
Yeah the weather sucks, and the Campus is about it for things to do in the town, but it does have Miss Tigerhawk Nipples
June 5th, 2009 at 9:39 pm
(10 hours late to the draft…)
Oberlin. I should have gone to Oberlin when they accepted me. Lost of gay women, so more straight men for me. Piss around all day being arty?!?!?! FUCK AND YEAH I’m doing homework.
I feel bad for Playoff_Beard up there since I went to Fordham. What was I thinking? I’m not even Catholic!
June 5th, 2009 at 9:41 pm
Fuck! And I just looked up the notable Oberlin alums, I could have been banging Ed Helms in college.
June 5th, 2009 at 10:22 pm
Colgate. Close enough to get home to do laundry, and Hamilton has virtually no cops. Safety school: Dartmouth. Everyone I know who went there got an Acura for graduation. And Hanover has virtually no cops.
/got a Corolla, but did get to graduate in the Carrier Dome.
June 5th, 2009 at 11:16 pm
@Jefferson Tardship
As a proud Emory alum, let me say, Emory is alright. Safe, full of drugs and booze.
I draft Ole Miss. Not smart, but hot chicks everywhere.
June 5th, 2009 at 11:48 pm
Too easy. Georgetown.
Good basketball program. Solid academics. Rich, white chicks.
June 6th, 2009 at 12:54 am
Faber College- Knowledge is Good
June 6th, 2009 at 2:04 am
ORAL ROBERTS BECAUSE ORAL IS IN THE NAME
June 6th, 2009 at 5:05 pm
I currently attend Arizona State.
I have no regrets.
June 6th, 2009 at 7:26 pm
University of Melbourne. Best college in Australia, which is the best country in the world. Ergo best college in the world.
June 6th, 2009 at 7:57 pm
I wish I went to Da Cross and got some of that sweet ass twisted tea.
June 6th, 2009 at 9:41 pm
A day late and I still get Uconn? Score!
June 7th, 2009 at 1:21 am
Harcum, small girls college in the ritzy Main Line area outside of Philly.
The womenz there always feel in the perpetual shadow of all the other schools around them. So the time honored (and accurate) saying goes:
Harcum.
Park ‘em.
De-bark’em.
And Fark ‘em.
June 7th, 2009 at 3:24 am
I regret not going to the Naval Academy every day. That’s my pick
Went to Syracuse and it was awful. I saw some homo earlier talking up Cornell. That’s easily the 2nd shittiest place on earth. I’m from the south and can say from experience that outside of Boston there’s almost no reason to recieve a non-ivy league education in the northeast.
June 7th, 2009 at 11:29 am
I loved going to Penn State. However, I wish I was 5-7 years younger because I went during the grunge “Flannel/timberlain boots” phase of the mid-90’s where chicks dressed like Cobain groupies. By the time I left, the sluttier look was coming back and now it is out of control there.
June 7th, 2009 at 11:37 am
UC Santa Barbara – hands down. If you’ve been there, then you know it blows USC and UCLA out of the water.
June 7th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
BYU.
Virgins, man. Virgins.
Lots of them.
June 7th, 2009 at 2:24 pm
i can’t believe someone took my soon to be alma mater, JMU…
i made the mistake of coming into college with a girlfriend and leaving with one (not the same one, but out of five years there i was maybe single for 6 months); we get ladies from all over the eastern seaboard and some mid-west and west coast imports; i regret that decision knowing what i do now.
anyways, as far as the draft goes; as someone who’s never seen the glorious west coast, anything there would do, USC; better girls and better football. Or Minnesota, i love snow, it’s out in the mid west, there is quality ass out there (i have friends who have passed through the area who validated it for me) and i’m a huge wrestling fan and it’s one of the premier programs in the country
June 8th, 2009 at 3:26 am
Since Bullet took Morehouse, I’m going to go with Clark-Atlanta, to be referred to as CAU. (I actually attended Morehouse for two years.)
CAU has like 70% females, 100% female Spelman right down the street, and Georgia State isn’t but a short drive away (one of the rare point-of-interest drives in Atlanta one can make without having to use the interstate). Georgia Tech is across the street from GSU, Emory’s 15 mins. from G-Tech, UGA is 60ish miles away… it’s no wonder I had to leave Morehouse; I was too busy chasing tail.
June 8th, 2009 at 3:55 am
oh, and Tracer, re:
>>Tracer Bullet Says:
June 5th, 2009 at 1:58 pm
University of New Orleans. Me and FMRA are gonna have absinthe and French 75s in the Quarter.
Dude, I went to UNO after leaving Morehouse. Worst campus and campus life ever. Can’t get a meal on grounds after 6pm, nothing of substance ever happens late on campus, no football team, athletic dept. facing a financial shortfall, surprisingly few hot women on campus, etc. You’d do better at Loyola (dated too many 9+’s there) or Xavier or even Dillard (5 minutes from my house). When I decided that I like to sleep all day and party all night, I dropped UNO like a bad habit. Exact same experience, only I didn’t have class interrupting my hangover sleep.
June 8th, 2009 at 3:05 pm
UVa
June 8th, 2009 at 11:39 pm
others have taken alabama. tulane (my alma mater) has been aptly characterized as a place where failed ivy leaguers slum for 4 years.
picks: university of new mexico. astonishing number of good lookin women, who aren’t too impressed with themselves or otherwise too cool to have a good time. and it’s in albuquerque – a city that, as the west goes, is about as good as it gets. sleeper pick: boise state university. lived in boise when stationed at mountain home in the air force. but damn those bronco women were patriotic. god bless em.
@fmra: it’s been said a legal education broadens the mind by narrowing it. i can see how a person with your capacious intellectual horizons might have some practical difficulties with that concept. good luck. make kick ass grades and get an internship as soon as possible so you can get a true appreciation of what practicing law is all about because law school won’t.
June 9th, 2009 at 10:23 am
Good gravy, 4 days after the draft and University of Maryland still on the board. That will the steal o’ the draft. Maryland poon. WOWOWEEWAH!!
June 10th, 2009 at 12:36 pm
Sir, I go to U of MD and let me tell you while it may have been hot (it wasn’t) it has gone down hill in the past 10 years.
It is bad weather, bad school, bad women.
It is beattropolis.
I think if I was picking schools It might go last of major state schools.
well in the 40 range.
that isn’t even to mention all the floridas and Californias
June 10th, 2009 at 2:49 pm
I have to knock University of Hawaii since I transferred there after getting kicked out of Washington State (Not University of Washington, fuck the huskies) for three strikes and I am incredibly disappointed. There is no party scene here whatsoever, the beaches are patrolled (all the ones anywhere near campus), the students live far away from each other as the University is in the middle of urban Honolulu, even if you did live around a bunch of students you still couldn’t party because most likely you’re living in a shitty apartment surrounded by 300 older neighbors with either a meth or anger management problem or both. The girls are either hot or hideous (Samoan girls look like guys but bigger) but with no party scene to meet them they’re just eye candy. I guarantee any small college town is a better pick than University of Hawaii. That said LSU (Mardi Gras) or ASU would be my picks.
June 10th, 2009 at 2:51 pm
Oh, and fuck Florida, they have by far the most draconian drug laws in the nation.
June 13th, 2009 at 12:29 pm
Got to go with Texas State University (formerly Southwest Texas State) in San Marcos TX (halfway between Austin & San Antonio) All the hottest Texas girls who can not get in the University of Texas go there. Also you can road trip to Austin and scam the UT girls on 6th st also
June 15th, 2009 at 1:28 pm
everyone who responded something about RU, you can’t beat the Fat Bitches or Fat Filipinos. And the sandwiches are good too.