This Week in F–k You: Labradoodle Owners
We’re in the slowest stretch of the offseason now: the dreaded post-draft period. There’s no football on, and there won’t be football on for quite some time. You’re angry. You’re hateful. We understand. At KSK, we’re hateful too. Of all things, at all times. Hating is what we do best. So, in that spirit, we present you with the weekly off-topic/offseason feature…
THIS WEEK IN FUCK YOU.
Every week or so, we’ll be taking our lack-of-football-related depression out on any number of deserving targets: people, things, abstract ideas, group dinners, etc. It’s just the kind of cathartic invective we excel at. This week, PEOPLE WHO OWN LABRADOODLES.
I’m a dog lover. You know those people who will break their stride while walking through the city or suddenly disappear from a conversation to bend down and pet a dog? And immediately start a one-way conversation with the dog, even if they don’t know the owner? That’s me. “Hey pups! Hey buddy! What’s going on? What’s your name? Oh, you’re a sweetheart! YES YOU ARE. We’re best friends now! Yeah we are. Yeah, give me some kisses!” That shit makes my week. I have never in my life been as excited to meet another human being as I was with that hypothetical dog just now.
That’s one of the things I love about living in the Park Slope neighborhood of Brooklyn: there are dogs freakin’ everywhere. Hell, in the mornings you’re even allowed to let dogs run off-leash around Prospect Park. No fences or anything, just a whole bunch of dogs running free. It fuckin’ OWNS.
Alas, the first rule of city life is this: if there’s something cool or convenient about living in an urban neighborhood, yuppie cocknozzles will try to ruin it. Specifically, in this case, labradoodle owners. What’s a labradoodle, you ask? It’s the en vogue dog breed at the moment, much like puggles were two or three years ago. You get a labradoodle when you cross a Labrador retriever and poodle, then take the stupidest possible combination of those breeds’ names. Yuppies like them because they’re hypoallergenic, they don’t shed, and they cost a thousand dollars when you can easily rescue a dog for free at any shelter.
Now, labradoodles aren’t bad dogs; it’s the owners who are fuckfaces. There’s a car in my neighborhood with a bumper sticker that reads — I swear to Christ this is real — “My labradoodle is smarter than your honor student.” Contemplate for a moment the layers of fucktardery it takes for someone to be such a dipshit. They feel the need to make a point with a bumper sticker, check. They want to brag publicly about what kind of dog they own, check. They think a dog-related riff on the “My kid can beat up your honor student” bumper sticker is funny, check. They are unaware of how badly I want to crush their face with a crowbar, check.
There is no car wreck fiery enough for the person who drives that vehicle.
This gut full of hatred I have didn’t overflow, however, until I realized the extent of “doodle” owners’ highfalutin shitfuckery. For a couple weeks I’d noticed that all the labradoodles — about seven or eight of them — would play together while their owners hung out in a circle and talked about whatever labradoodle owners talk about. Molesting children and underpaying immigrant workers, I assume. They fostered an air of elitism — AT A FUCKING DOG PARK — that discouraged others from joining their precious hybrid dogs. But who cares, because fuck them, right? I was cool with them doing what they do, right up until the point where they got all the labradoodles together FOR A GROUP PICTURE.
I don’t know if you’ve ever owned a dog, but a typical thing that EVERYONE ON THE PLANET KNOWS is that dogs don’t understand the concept of standing still for photography. And they sure as shit don’t understand group photos. And so you’ve got the yuppie dipshit wives trying to line up their dogs, handing out treats to try to get the dogs to stay, but then they have to get in the picture to hand the dogs the treats, and the handing out of treats has led the racially inferior dogs like my own to come and sit near their precious fucking designer dogs and ruin their Aryan canine master race group picture. Some bitch pushes my dog (this sweet-natured rebel) out of the way. “Sorry, we’re trying to get a group picture.”
“Yeah, that seems like a terrific idea” is what I say, leashing my dog. But what I mean is FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING DOG-RACIST CUNT.
You fucking labradoodle owners have ZERO idea of what matters in the world. They’re just DOGS. You take them outside, you play with them, and they give you unconditional love that makes your short time on this planet a little richer. Your dog is not a fucking status symbol, it’s not a ticket into some gay little club, and it sure as fuck doesn’t excuse a low-level brand of Jim Crow laws in a public park. GET FUCKED AND DIE FUCKED.
Tags: captain caveman, I have since moved away and become more at peace, off-topic, this week in f--k you
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June 18th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
Great post. One of the biggest reasons I want to get a house is so I can a stubborn beagle to force me to earn his love and act as as easy icebreaker when he starts humping some poor defenseless woman’s leg when I take him out for a walk.
June 18th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
Sounds like someoneis a little jealous.
June 18th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
Affirmed. All dogs should be gotten from legit shelters, no puppy mills and no place that sells labradoodles, buggs, pomapoo or any other freak of nature
June 18th, 2009 at 12:40 pm
Also, did anyone else get momentarily very scared when they opened this site looking for the ff/sex mailbag only to see a picture of a dog?
No? Just me? Okay….
June 18th, 2009 at 12:41 pm
CC: One more thing to love about dogs…in your dog’s pic, he’s looking for the PERFECT place to drop anchor. There is only one square foot of grass on that whole ballfield that deserves his poop. My dogs will spend several minutes in our yard looking for that one spot. Once they finish, there’s that triumphant trot back to us; they have completed their mission and deserve a medal (or cookie). Anyway, the point is, fuck Michael Vick with a sawed-off Labradoodle.
June 18th, 2009 at 12:42 pm
‘I’m a dog lover. You know those people who will break their stride while walking through the city or suddenly disappear from a conversation to bend down and pet a dog? And immediately start a one-way conversation with the dog, even if they don’t know the owner? That’s me. “Hey pups! Hey buddy! What’s going on? What’s your name? Oh, you’re a sweetheart! YES YOU ARE. We’re best friends now! Yeah we are. Yeah, give me some kisses!” ‘
I hate you.
/will still compulsively read this site every day
June 18th, 2009 at 12:43 pm
The best dogs I know and have owned are pound mutts.
The cunts that own labradoodles are the same cunts that dress their kids in trendy designer baby clothes that their kids will out grow in 2 weeks and push their brats around in $500 baby strollers.
June 18th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
My family’s Labradoodle caught a bird mid flight and ate it. let’s see some pound puppy do that. OK it was a baby bird.
June 18th, 2009 at 12:48 pm
Shelter? Breeder?
/I bought my dog at a liqour store.
June 18th, 2009 at 12:48 pm
The ex wanted a Shiranian puppy (1/2 Pomeranian, 1/2 Shitzu). Cute dog, but no reason to spend the couple hundred instead of adopting from a shelter. Great, he’s a hybrid. The certificate says so. Now what? I still had to take him outside to piss six times a night in the middle of December.
June 18th, 2009 at 12:48 pm
@Frank: My lab boxer mix from the pound who is all of 8 months old, killed a blue jay. Looked out into the backyard to see what she was chewing on and she was tossing it into the air to catch it again. It was still breathing and blinking its one good eye at me when I threw it into the trash.
June 18th, 2009 at 12:50 pm
awwww …. they hoit his iddy biddy feelin’s ….
June 18th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
@ HoC — what’s a “bugg”?
i adopt dogs. but would take a labradoodle in a heartbeat. glad ur hatin’ on the purchasers not the dogs. don’t hate the player. hate the game.
June 18th, 2009 at 12:52 pm
There’s a car in my neighborhood with a bumper sticker that reads — I swear to Christ this is real — “My labradoodle is smarter than your honor student.”
That’s when you pen a pithy response. With your car keys.
June 18th, 2009 at 12:52 pm
@Foxxy – I dunno, I just looked up hybrid dog names and that was of them. I think it was something like a pugg and a boston terrier
June 18th, 2009 at 12:53 pm
DOGFLAWA!!!
June 18th, 2009 at 12:53 pm
I have never in my life been as excited to meet another human being…
That’s because human beings invariably aren’t honest. Dogs are.
June 18th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
and if i ever visit NYC? first place i’m going in the a.m.? Prospect Park!! sounds like heaven, Drew
/will cross the street to talk to a random dog
June 18th, 2009 at 12:55 pm
@ HoC — thanks — sounds gawd awful
June 18th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
Great rant. It’s especially appreciated as a born-and-raised Park Slope resident (don’t pay attention to the handle name) who can’t stand the yuppie assfaces that have taken over.
However, I hate it when people say that dogs’ (or any pets’, for that matter) love is unconditional. I’m pretty sure if you didn’t feed and walk those fuckers from when they were a puppy, they wouldn’t love you quite as much. Sounds like a condition to me.
June 18th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
What’s the rottweiler’s name, CC?
Also, can we add all poodle hybrids to the hate? F’rinstance, Yorki-poo, cocka-poo, turd-a-poo? For pete’s sake, just get a cat.
June 18th, 2009 at 12:59 pm
Why limit to Labradoodle owners? Fuck all owners of expensive ass breeds bought from a puppy mill or whatever. Adopt an unwanted dog you stuck-up attention-and-status-seeking fucks.
the Obamas f’d up big time going that route too. Way to make a big statement there.
June 18th, 2009 at 1:00 pm
oops, sorry CC
what with all the “fucks” and “cunts” i just assumed . . .
June 18th, 2009 at 1:01 pm
Sadly, dogs have to suffer because their owners are Grade A douchebags.
I’ve owned both purebreeds and mutts and, you know what the difference is? Zero. Well, some mutts are tough SOBs that can eat shoe leather and not puke, but that’s it, by and large.
The problem is that asshats like that group out there want the status symbol of owning something that’s rare and only available to them. Fuck them.
BTW CC, good looking dog. And I too will stop to pet any dog I met along my way.
If I carried any bacon with me, I’m certain I could get every dog to follow me.
June 18th, 2009 at 1:01 pm
Captain Caveman needs to be added to the list of notable writers who live in Park Slope on it’s Wiki entry.
June 18th, 2009 at 1:02 pm
What’s the rottweiler’s name, CC?
Her name’s Stella. She’s some kind of Rotty mix — pointier face and smaller, about 60 pounds.
June 18th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
60 pound Rotty?
Sounds like a Poodweiler.
June 18th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
I’d love to watch a lab and a poodle fuck.
June 18th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
@ HoC’s 2nd post….
Me, too… I was very, very worried for a moment.
June 18th, 2009 at 1:09 pm
Aren’t most dog owners who pride themselves on owning a particular breed this way? They not only keep puppy mills in business, reason enough to despise them, but they give you a look of utter disbelief when you ask why they didn’t get a dog at the shelter.
I understand (kinda) wanting a particular breed, but don’t be so fucking high and mighty about it. “Purebred” dogs aren’t superior, they’re just the iPhone of the dog world. Maybe it’s just the owners I know. They’re kind of annoying. Not “trying to get a group photo in the dog park” annoying, but still…
June 18th, 2009 at 1:10 pm
Yeah labradoodles, suck.
/goldendoodle owner
//attempting to come up with name more masculine than ‘goldendoodle,’ like ‘razordog’ or ‘lumberjack terrier.’
///fail
June 18th, 2009 at 1:16 pm
@Nate Newton’s Van:
Sounds like someone has a submission to the ff/sex mailbag that he is keeping to himself.
June 18th, 2009 at 1:17 pm
Can we please focus on the fact that the San Diego Chicken with a DVD of Battlefield Earth is only the 3rd most mesmerizing thing in that picture, behind the ED-209 and that burgundy leather jacket?
June 18th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
My parents rescued a Labradoodle as a pet for my sister and I when I was about 4 years old (20+ years ago). We’re trend setters baby!
June 18th, 2009 at 1:21 pm
Newfoundlands. There is no substitute.
June 18th, 2009 at 1:21 pm
I appreciate the hate and the vitriol Uff, but this post only reminds me that I really need to go back to North Carolina and kill the white trash motherfucker from whom we rescued our second dog. She’s a labridachsitaliangreyhound thing that runs like the fucking wind and is as sweet as pecan pie.
And this asshole in NC shoots the dogs he can’t give away. Spay? Neuter? What now? Naw, that ain’t natural to this asshole. Oh how I’d like to spay and neuter him and his whole clan with hedge clippers.
/fucking NC hillbillies are the worst. DIAF you meth makin’ pukes.
June 18th, 2009 at 1:24 pm
@Nate Newton’s Van:
Wrong place for sex mailbag submissions…
June 18th, 2009 at 1:26 pm
Also, is Elin 2 knuckles deep in Sam’s ear in that picture?
/why do I know these people’s names?
June 18th, 2009 at 1:26 pm
+1 claude
-1 me for not hitting refresh
June 18th, 2009 at 1:38 pm
Hey buddy!
My dog is named Buddy, so you’d get the name right by accident.
June 18th, 2009 at 1:40 pm
PETA is now looking into your dog racism charges.
June 18th, 2009 at 1:41 pm
There’s only one cross-breeding that these yuppie douchenozzles are really interested about: their aryan designer dogs with themselves.
I’d tell them that it doesn’t work that way, but I doubt that would stop those snobs from fucking their dogs.
June 18th, 2009 at 1:43 pm
That rant was perfect. I’d also throw in how annoying many of these prissy douchenozzle owners are when they get completely freaked at off-lead parks as dogs start establishing pack order in loud but non-threatening dog ways, ‘OOH! They’re fighting! My poor labradoodle!’
Of course, I can’t believe 2 families gave up the lab-retriever mix I adopted from the shelter either.
/vick sucks
June 18th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
But… but… they’re a status symbol! Like kids! Yuppie fuckers don’t really WANT a dog, because you have to walk it, and it gets sick and it requires attention, and all that really irritating crap that keeps them from going to the tanning salon. But being SEEN with one is an immediate attention grabber, which is all these evolutionary dead-ends really fucking want: For other people to notice them and think “Wow, that’s a really interesting person.”
It’s the same with kids. They don’t WANT kids, but society now EXPECTS them to have kids, so they have kids. And then put them in fucking daycare within a week of birth, because, after all, mommy needs to go play tennis with Angelina from up the street.
Fuck all yuppies with a rake.
June 18th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
Personally, I’m a fan of my family’s beagweiler. Ever seen a hundred pound beagle?
June 18th, 2009 at 1:50 pm
My dog is named Buddy, so you’d get the name right by accident.
My dog is named Diamond Max Volcano, and he’s half Great Dane, half Daschund.
Guess which one was the dad. Go on, I’ll wait.
June 18th, 2009 at 1:50 pm
“Hurry up and take this group photo so we can get back to humping each other”
June 18th, 2009 at 1:51 pm
I call the big one “Bitey”.
June 18th, 2009 at 2:01 pm
Welll, hmmmm. My wife and I have a labradoodle, and let me first say in self-defense, I am many times over embarrassed when I have to be in public with our dog. I fucking hate dogs. I only like our dog b/c I love my wife, but I’ll be buttfucked if I will ever really enjoy having a dog. Dogs fucking suck, they are all fucking idiots. That said, the joke is completely on me for what we shelled out for this fuckin thing and some of the bullshit I have helped create by ever agreeing to having the little shithead. I held out for 4 whole months after marriage until I couldn’t take it anymore, but mainly b/c my wife’s parent’s shitzus bit the dust late last year and my fate became sealed. I guess, by association, I am guilty of fucktardery. I guess I can accept that, though I consider myself and very level headed dog owner and I don’t let her shit in others yards.
In conclusion, “those people who will break their stride while walking through the city or suddenly disappear from a conversation to bend down and pet a dog? And immediately start a one-way conversation with the dog, even if they don’t know the owner?” GO….FUCK…..YOURSELVES
June 18th, 2009 at 2:01 pm
needs more tiger woods.
June 18th, 2009 at 2:27 pm
Those douchebag yuppies with labradoodles were, not too long ago, apathetic trustafarian dog owners in college- the kind that name their dogs Luna, refuse to train them and insist they go everywhere. Asshole owners make asshole dogs.
June 18th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
Hey Ufford, nice marmot.
June 18th, 2009 at 2:40 pm
Excellent chicken-and-liver flavored hate. God, I hate all those trendy crossbred dog names. A friend just adopted a Shih Tzu/terrier mix, which we call a “Shittier”.
(I love how everyone spells it “shitzu”.)
June 18th, 2009 at 2:40 pm
I prefer a dog with some useful applications. Like when Ivan used to send bomb-laden canines under Kraut panzers.
June 18th, 2009 at 2:41 pm
Srsly though, good looking dog, Ufford. As Mr. Smith averred, I wanna buy a house only so I can get a dog.
June 18th, 2009 at 3:13 pm
I walk my cat on a leash in the park. People think I am cool! Yuh huh!
June 18th, 2009 at 3:26 pm
Which one’s the labradoodle in the photo? The blonde or the baby?
@UpstateUnderdog:
push their brats around in $500 baby strollers.
wait until you have kids and see if you feel comfortable with one of those $20 POS’s from Target.
June 18th, 2009 at 3:27 pm
@Shinons: that is truly heroic. I hate dogs, but I think I want one of those.
June 18th, 2009 at 3:28 pm
Park Slope, eh? Anyone who knows nyc knows that this explains quite a bit…
June 18th, 2009 at 3:39 pm
Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. I dunno who said it, but it explains a lot.
June 18th, 2009 at 3:40 pm
LOL @ poodweiler, well done SonOfSpam.
Judgemental shelter snobs > purebred yuppie fucktards? Ok.
/I got a mutt
June 18th, 2009 at 3:51 pm
I got bit by a labrodoodle in my shitty NYC apt building on my way to work. This woman thought by holding the barking disgrace close to her it was going to stop the dog from being scared of me as I walked by. It bit me in the fucking side. I’d love for the lovable but protective German Shepherd-shelter mutt I grew up with that still patrols my parent’s house to tear that dog’s throat out. Then I forget, it’s these retards that own them who are the real problem. Can you attack the owner if the dog attacks you? Plenty of good dogs in shelters.
June 18th, 2009 at 4:00 pm
I have a poodle (great dogs, by the way) and I get a little pissy when I see all the new designer dogs. I met a yorkiepoo recently and actually told the lady walking her that I was not an advocate of making new breeds of dogs when there are shetlers full of both poodles and labs. Want a hypoallergenic dog? Then get one you snobby asshole. But don’t make it so the rest of the dogs are screwed because they are not the designer breed of the moment. To you people, fuck off. Get a dog that needs a home, don’t make new breeds so the real breeds will be left either in the shelter or be put down.
Yes, I am the same kind of person who talks to dogs, and would usually rather be around dogs than asshole, stupid selfish people. If you are really wanting a dog, get a real one, and not some primadonna fake one.
June 18th, 2009 at 4:01 pm
i’m not a dog guy but i want to train a rotweiler to rip out labradoodle throats
June 18th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
I have a Labradoodle and he sheds like a fucking FIEND.
/hides
June 18th, 2009 at 4:17 pm
I got a great Xmas card from a friend and his girlfriend. The picture they used: their brown labrodoodle. Yup.
Nicole, stop kidding yourself, the poodle-side was the one that activated to tell the Labrador side to chomp me as one unit. Kindly tell your dog and her friends to stop biting me.
June 18th, 2009 at 4:19 pm
@Novak – I’ve never seen another dog quite like her, but yes, she is fully awesome. You know that guy who bragged earlier about his labradoodle catching a bird? Well a hawk had chased a cat underneath that deck in the picture, and the dog got ahold of the hawk. That’s right – my beagle ate a fucking hawk. Nice.
June 18th, 2009 at 4:35 pm
@Shinons: I had to look at the picture again because I was in disbelief from last time. Your dog is like the Ted Washington of beagles. I picture you feeding it overstuffed burritos and cheese fries and such.
June 18th, 2009 at 4:44 pm
I work in a doggy daycare. There is no greater abomination of a dog than anything with an “oodle” at the end. They are all raging fucktards.
June 18th, 2009 at 6:25 pm
CCC – I could’ve sworn you posted on WL one time around March Madness and had a Chocolate Lab. Was I just high?
June 18th, 2009 at 6:29 pm
Caveman, you knew what you were getting into when you moved to Park Slope. How can anything these yuppie assholes do surprise you?
http://www.fuckedinparkslope.com
/lives in South Slope
June 18th, 2009 at 6:30 pm
I like dogs so much more than people. Having said that, I try to live by this rule: Always keep in mind that dogs can’t choose their owners, and it’s not their fault if they were born ugly (I’ll still kiss them).
June 18th, 2009 at 7:03 pm
RE Deux Deux Deux Says:
“My dog is named Diamond Max Volcano, and he’s half Great Dane, half Daschund. Guess which one was the dad. Go on, I’ll wait.”
I’d like to see a picture of this.
June 18th, 2009 at 7:34 pm
I had no idea there were so many dog-worshipping pussies on this site. People who talk to dogs are all retards, ok? it’s a FUCKING DOG. it has no idea what you’re saying and is just hoping for food and a leg to hump.
i will say, though, that people who put dogs in carrying cases, purses or dress them in sweaters should be shot. And if you have a poodle you’re a pussy.
June 18th, 2009 at 7:49 pm
@nopullout- my dog has NEVER bitten anyone. The dog probably just knew you are a dick.
June 19th, 2009 at 2:39 am
Am I the only one that thinks Tiger’s wife is suddenly not hot anymore?
June 19th, 2009 at 5:27 am
What do you get when you cross a Labrador with a Poodle?
A mutt.
June 19th, 2009 at 6:26 am
Oh, because people who live in Park Slope and own rescue Pit Bulls aren’t elitist assholes at all, right?
June 19th, 2009 at 8:04 am
Bad news: You’re a blogger who lives in Park Slope and whines about yuppies, you already won the douche of the week award.
June 19th, 2009 at 8:36 am
Twig, you work in at a doggie daycare, take a look in the fucktard/ douche mirror.
June 19th, 2009 at 8:37 am
That last paragraph sums it up perfectly for me about how I feel about dog owners. I am not a dog owner, but I do like to pet dogs, like you said, near the top. Thanks for making me realize that not all dog owners don’t get it.
June 19th, 2009 at 8:44 am
Ha – I walk my “rescued” shit-zu poodle mix in the park everyday and I avoid the “dog park” like the plague. First off – most dogs attack my dog (not playfully) and steal her toys. Secondly most owners do absolutely nothing about it including not apologizing and allowing their mini golden doodles and labradoodles named “hendrix”, “Dylan” or “Einstein” to continue with their insane behavior – who knew the fucking dog park was elitist ?
June 19th, 2009 at 8:45 am
Nicole, so should humans stop reproducing and only adopt kids from orphanages?
June 19th, 2009 at 10:30 am
>>so should humans stop reproducing and only adopt kids from orphanages?
Well if kids are routinely being killed cause no one wants them…then yes.
June 19th, 2009 at 11:04 am
Sorry, but all of you young up and coming types with dogs and kids are annoying little shits with an amazingly annoying sense of self-entitlement.
June 19th, 2009 at 11:52 am
>>Well if kids are routinely being killed cause no one wants them…then yes.
Jen P, we can outlaw abortion for any reason other than the health of the mother, since they can just drop the kid off at the orphanage after they deliver, right? Someone will want it, surely!
June 19th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
I don’t know who you are but, my god, i love you. funniest post. thank you.
June 19th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
Side question… is Tiger’s hot piece of ass giving that kid a Wet Willie? It looks like she’s knuckle deep in that kids ear.
June 19th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
@Frank my arthritic weiner dog caught a bird mid flight and ate it, it isn’t that much of an accomplishment
June 19th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
Thank you. I love you.
June 19th, 2009 at 1:21 pm
Just a note – you can get designer poodle mixes from the shelter (although what got them in there in the first place isn’t always so great). Our dog is most like a schnoodle, and the shelter we got him at had a bunch of poodle mixes because some puppy mill dumped them off by the boatload after they weren’t able to sell them or whatever. Lovely, right? Ironically, people with designer dogs usually think we have some magical connection until I shut them down by telling them that he’s a rescue (and that I only adopt animals).
Otherwise, word to your post. I live in the Bay Area, so just switch “Labradoodle” with “Bernese Mountain Dog,” although I assume no one is deluded enough to make any claims about BMDs being smarter than a rock, let alone an honor student.
June 19th, 2009 at 1:23 pm
Amen!
June 19th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
@SKC First thing I thought was http://bp2.blogger.com/_FBXGhy-QmVw/RibWpD7KqII/AAAAAAAAA0Q/MjNGyku57Gc/s1600-h/card802.JPG
June 19th, 2009 at 1:41 pm
If it makes you feel better, there actually is a big problem with the labradoodle breed — folks get them because they think they are getting the smart brain of a poodle with the loving temperament of a labrador. The problem, however, is that while some of the dogs in the litter might be this way, genetics dictates that there will be an equal number of dogs with the dumb brain of a labrador and the pissy temperament of a poodle — if you want to know what this latter variety behaves like, just look no further than your average labradoodle owner (especially the ones with the bumper sticker).
June 19th, 2009 at 3:38 pm
Thank you for making my day.
June 19th, 2009 at 5:11 pm
I run a rescue group by default–as in, I now live in the sticks, and stray dogs find us because we don’t shoot them. Yuppie status-conscious assholes piss me off so much. Dalmatians, then pugs, then chihuahuas, now this.
When I lived in a city, tho, and would walk my rescued chow-retriever-who the hell knows, these kind of folks would ask me what he was, and I said Georgia Mountain Dog. Cause I found him in the Georgia mountains.
June 19th, 2009 at 8:11 pm
We have a rescue dog that is part lab/terrier/who the fuck knows what else, but anyway he has kinda curly tan colored fur and damn if we don’t get stopped ALL the time with people asking…”Is he a LABRADOODLE??” UGH so insulting that someone would think that we would PAY for a friggin designer dog it makes me ill. And BTW my sister has had two standard poodles and they are high strung annoying creatures and no smarter than any of my mutts….
June 20th, 2009 at 11:12 pm
How can a dog be smarter than an honor student? Or any human in general? That bumper sticker makes no sense.
June 21st, 2009 at 12:18 pm
God do I love this post. In Philly puggles are all the rage right god dammed now and I hate them.
In this spirit of sharing dog-killing-flying-animal stories, last summer my dog jumped up and killed a bat. I doubt my children will ever make me so proud.
June 23rd, 2009 at 6:47 am
http://poopslope.blogspot.com/
Who cares, as long as they clean up
June 23rd, 2009 at 10:14 am
@ Angela — thank you for making my day. “Georgia Mountain Dog” – I’ll have to remember that one.
I am an unabashed dog lover, so I’ll plead guilty to being one of those dorks who stops to greet dogs on the street — the bigger and uglier, the better. Those childless couples, though, who treat their dog as a surrogate kid? Yeah, they pretty much make me want to puke also. In addition, I invariably find that people who feel the need to proclaim their world views via bumper sticker to be insufferable douchenozzles.
June 23rd, 2009 at 10:47 am
I am not a dog owner, but enjoyed the post and comments and went about my day. Next day, in Mystic, CT, a dog and family intersected with me and my friend on a sidewalk. She is a dog talker, and started chatting with the owner. Second words out of the lady’s mouth after hi, was “he is a labroadoodle” with total look-what-I-own tone. And the kid was a bit over the top in behavior and jumped all over my friend. Literally. Throwing herself onto a strangers body while chatting about a dog.
Life imitating art? Just lucky me I guess.
June 24th, 2009 at 4:12 pm
@Nicole – it may be true that I am a dick, but:
http://www.thefunkyway.com/fun_game/joke/teamamerica.htm
June 24th, 2009 at 5:59 pm
wow, really? you call yourself a dog lover? you sound just a HATER.
June 29th, 2009 at 4:37 pm
I have a labradoodle. I bought him to play with my lab I rescued 5 yrs ago. I chose the labradoodle because I was tired to sweeping up the equivalent of a small dog every week. But I didn’t pay the outrageous asking price most breeders charge, just found someone who really likes the breed. I also won’t buy the bumper stickers, coffee mugs or other crap to promote the breed. Not all owners are elitists.
August 6th, 2009 at 6:20 pm
Good for you for rescuing dogs! Seriously, buy yourself an extra slice of cake for that. Good stuff! One question though: don’t all dogs deserve homes? What’s the difference between a rescued dog and a dog bought from a respectable breeder? They both need homes, don’t they? The assholes aren’t the dog buyers, but the soulless creatures who run puppy mills. As long as you’re not perpetuating their business, you’re doing right by dogs of all breeds.
See? Moral superiority works for both sides!