Today’s Big Deal on the Internet is Andressa Soares, who is known in her native Brazil as Mulher Melancia, which translates to “Watermelon Woman.” And, uh, it’s not because she likes eating watermelons. The entry that spawned today’s e-attention is her interview with Vice Magazine (side note: ugh). You can learn all about her professional booty dancing career over there; here, the pertinent information is that she was in Playboy and dear God I wanna touch it.
After the jump, enjoy our (technically) SFW gallery and NSFW links.
You may also enjoy Andressa in video form at VBS.tv. And, just in case there was some inkling of doubt, the proof that Brazilian Playboy is 800 times sexier than its American counterpart is right here (NSFW). Make sure you have a paper bag to breathe into before you click that.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/horizontal-shower-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/belichick-sweats-150x150.jpg)
wOw
@BadLiberal:
Because my dick tastes like shit?
My boner thanks you.
This makes my day. Thank you, thank you.
She puts the “ass” in “massive.” Seriously, if I want to look at a big ass, I’ll squat on the mirror.
She’s got a GREAT ASS. And you’ve got your head ALL THE WAY UP IT.
Ferocious aren’t I?
Suggestion:
Can next week be the Inagural “Underage Sexy Friday”?
Borders on excessive ass size, but I’m not sure she’s even the worst Sexy Friday “offender” we’ve had in that regard.
Arm Strongcock,
I believe you are not alone as Rocco seems to prefer those flat assed women as well.
How could I charge full price to the man whose lust for filthy magazines kept me in business during that first shaky year?
Oh, by the way, here is your new issue of “Gigantic Asses”.
/Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
//gratuitous Simpson’s reference
Peter King twitters in the nude.
I want to pitch a tent under that full moon.
@claude balls
Know how I know you’re gay?
To quote Daddy Yankee:
Y tiene tremendo…CULO!!!
Meh. I’d much rather have looked at Kyle from Chicago’s sister-in-law.
There is such a thing as too much ass, and this chick is a prime example. Same with her thighs. But, it’s a matter of taste, so those of you who like women whose ass is as big as your mom’s, go ahead and spank it.
THIS, KSK. THIS post is your contribution to all of mankind. Your opus, if you will.
/sheds a tear
/waits for friends to leave apartment
well, i’m sure it’s not too hard to photoshop the cellulite right out.
most girls have it. most guys too. we’re just not busy looking at the back of each others upper thighs.
90lb girls have cellulite
get over it. or you’ll never be happy
@ Westbrook Is My Anti-Drug: Amen. I wouldn’t want to see that ass in, say, 10 years, when the cottage-cheese action kicks in. But I’d gladly eat a balanced breakfast off it today.
There is such a thing as too much ass. This chick isn’t in that category at all. When you start getting cottage cheese action going… then you have too much ass.
@Arm Strongcock:
Yep. It’s just you. If you want a bleach bottle bag of antlers with silicone grapefruits glued to her ribs, Tori Spelling is awaiting your call. Me, I’m gettin’ in the watermelon line.
Good lord. God is definitely a man.
Why arent there any pancake ass chicks on KSK?(sarcasm intended)
I wonder where FMRA fits into in the “huge butt vs. nice looking butt” debate.
Perfect ass for me? Jessica Biel
…..just sayin.
No. Not too much. Not at all.
Jesus. I would spread that on a Triscuit.
DAT ASS
/ drools on self
I’m sorry, but I cannot add any more insight to this “pro giant ass” vs. “con giant ass” debate. All I can do is refer you to the collective works of Lot, Sir Mix-a.
Um, I’m in the “a little too much ass” camp here. I mean, I’m glad that there are dudes who like the ass, ’cause big-ass girls need love too, but her ass looks like it was Photoshopped on from another larger chick. Her top half is normal, her bottom half is 3 times bigger. It’s weird-looking, it’s like a Frankenass.
there is never such a thing as too much ass.
grow some balls whitey!
+1 to Ufford for photoshopping that woman’s top half onto Earl Campbell’s trunk.
@Tracer:
You know, PUNTE’s ideas may intrigue you, and you may want to subscribe to his newsletter.
@Tracer…
Good luck finding it. Although sometimes it’s the journey, not the destination…
I’d happily kill you all just for the opportunity to lick her asshole for three minutes.
Yet further proof of Brazil’s secret national female eugenics program. If the USA and Brazil still don’t have any extradition agreements, I might have to take a “business trip” with company funds down there.
Definitely thick in the britches. Me likey.
That shit is amazzzzzing! Never heard of this broad but fuck, thank you KSK, thank you.
+1 to Arm Strongcock
Some booty is fine, but that is just too much cellulite for me. I like ‘em proportional, call me crazy.
Great googly moogly, that is a lot of ass.
Ahhh, Brazilian Ass…is there anything you CAN’T do?
Is it just me that would take a nice aryan bulimic over this chick?
One of the happiest days of my life was when I found the Super Tengas website. This post just confirms my belief that I should never ever ever ever visit Rio because I’d either never come home or return with a wife who speaks no english but has an ass 3 dicks deep. Mmm…Deep dish….
God bless you Matt, you are the bestest KSK poster on sexy Friday. Please continue this lofty work. Oh and this chick is outstanding. Carry on.
She has an awesome tunk.
/Ralph Wiggum
I see no reason why Mr. Ufford should not henceforth assume permanent Sexy Friday duties. Fantastic work. And Punch, you may be right, but this woman does NOT support your point.
Just as there is such a thing as too much bosom, there is such a thing as too much derriere.
Great ass; lofty ass.
This was another great Sexy Friday post you put together, Matt Ufford.
/PK’d
Well, because I saw it, and I would like everyone else to not suffer the brain scarring that i just endured, at the bottom of the NSFW page are 2 guys. Avoid it at all cost.
teebubba, for some reason I have a sudden urge for watermelon served with a side of shaved vagina.
there is nothing she could ask of me that i would say no to.
Perfect timing for this post since I am currently stuck in the Cleveland airport
Matt, please disregard my previous comment from the previous post. However, please continue to regard that photo of the fat Pittsburgh chick. Sure we’ve all seen it before, but it’s the gift that keep on giving….just like Brazilian girls with fat asses.
I guess you can’t use this pic which explains it all!
http://www.hogrockcafe.com/Andressa%20Soares%20Nude%201.jpg
God bless the Brazilians and their vainness. If only more countries promoted plastic surgery to enhance or perfect various body parts, the world would be a really sexy place.
Also, every nation has a better playboy than the US.
It’s….It’s…. Everything i hoped it would be. God Bless you CC.
I’d pay far more for some of that plentiful ad real estate than Peyton’s jersey.