Santonio Holmes is in the news today for beating a routine weed possession rap, but that’s not the reason we’re writing about him. No, instead we have it on good authority (okay, Cotter over at One For the Other Thumb told us) that Holmes changed his Twitter name to Pussy Monsta. Unfortunately, the feed is locked to the public, so one must get by merely with imagining the exploits of a pussy monsta, though the fact that he follows Shaq, Kardashian and about a dozen fine ass women is amusement enough.
flubby sums the change up nicely: “It’s hard to believe you could have a cooler name than ‘Santonio’ but then he went and unleashed Pussy Monsta. For me, that’s cooler than the game winning TD in the Super Bowl.”
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![[image]](http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/redskins_thin_man1-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/rodneyharrisongrief-150x150.jpg)
hi p u ok tse keiisykjiekfnv
That just became my Christmas card picture. My balls hurt from laughing so hard.
Thanks for defiling one of my treasured childhood icons.
I don’t think Santonio beat the rap so much as the Pittsburgh PD realized the arrest exposed them as a bunch of racist douchebags and decided to let him off rather than make that fact public.
As for the twitter feed, after a Jaworski-esque study of the Kim Kardashian porno, I have long thought Santonio and KK would be a match made in heaven. She’s obviously a Size Queen and what self respecting black man wouldn’t want ‘dat ass?
“Pussy is a sometimes food.”
I am trying to make the connection between KSK moving to uproxx and fmra reneging on a titty show.
“But God decided that I was to hate Santonio for playing for the most douchetastic team on the planet.”
Wait, wait, wait…no one told me Santonio was traded to the Patriots.
@FMRA No thanks, we’re a righty man for sure. Everybody reads from left to right, it’s the attention hog of the pair.
Didn’t they make a movie about this, Tooth?
Don’t tease us fmra!
Also, the comments on that pussy basket post are killing me. The menfolk are so hopeful that female commenters will continue to show more and more cleavage! True story: I was all set to upload a Blogspot picture of my entire right tit — that’s my favorite one — before KSK moved to Uproxx. Ah well.
@ HinesWald: what the f–k is smirre? Is that a new type of pussy?
Five second movie pitch: Pussy Monsta, Pacman, and Martellus Bennett.
P is for Pussy, that good enough for me…
#urahoe if u post nekkid pictures of the pussy monsta without written consent, fool
woke up. saw own penis. think I’ll throw a party tonite.
got new rings. good, but not pussy good. think I’ma go get some pussy.
@ fitty_want_crackas: lol we still cool rite?
is Wendy’s still open?
@ KimKardasian: #two whole cakes
@Otto, eerie preview indeed
Why, oh why did such a fine piece of Ohio State talent have to be picked up by the dark side? I always liked Santonio better than Ted Ginn’s return specialty and overall lack of receiving talent. But God decided that I was to hate Santonio for playing for the most douchetastic team on the planet.
…at least he’s still funny to read about though.
How are we not already commenter drafting potential posts on that feed?
Pussy Monsta sounds like a villain from those old Power Rangers TV shows … He’s (or she?) pink with crazy black hair and excessive, salty drool. His special ability is shooting ping-pong balls
PENISES ONLY TYPE IN ALL CAPS.
How can you hit the keys? I have to use a dialing wand.
And UU, thanks for the flashback to a little KSK Klassic. That was a nice thread, with an eerie preview into the future KSK of the Sex Mailbag.
PENISES ONLY TYPE IN ALL CAPS.
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YEAH BABY.
Filthy pervs. Maybe he just likes cats.
http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/3/ksk-off-topic-travels-with-borat.html
Pussy Monsta loves the pussy basket
/pussy basket = old school KSK
New Fantasy Football team name: Pussy Monster Squad
Next week his penis will have its own Twitter feed.