Nobody Messes With the Bad Guy
Matt Millen, whom sinister forces have once again installed in an NFL announcing booth (even if it craptastic NFL Network), is claiming he’s being unfairly scapegoated for the myriad foul-ups he oversaw as general manager of the Lions. Y’know, all the ones that are completely and without question his fault.
“I don’t go backwards,” Millen said. “I just don’t think like that. There’s nothing I can do about [Detroit]. All I can do is from here on out. I understand. In Detroit, they need a bad guy. I was a bad guy. I was to blame for the fall of the auto industry and the housing market. Somehow, I had something to do with [Detroit mayor] Kwame Kilpatrick [resigning], although I’m not sure what. But that’s what happens when you lose in this game. You give everyone a cheap and easy story to jump on.”
And nobody messes with the bad guy, eh chico. You little cockaroach. Not when he oozes so much machismo. All these pinche pendejos in the NFL, they want a piece of the bad guy. I’m the main mang. Hey, booth attendant, look after my mashismo. Something happens to it, something gonna happen to you.
Thanks again inimitable LSUfreek.
Tags: lsufreek, matt millen, wrasslin'
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June 19th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
OMG I could choke this muthafucka and I am a passive person.
June 19th, 2009 at 2:00 pm
With credentials like that, he should run for congress.
June 19th, 2009 at 2:00 pm
I knew he screwed up the auto industry and the housing market, but the Kwame thing completely took me by surprise…in hindsight it makes perfect sense.
June 19th, 2009 at 2:01 pm
Hey yo!
June 19th, 2009 at 2:03 pm
Fuck you Millen. I can’t believe this guy. Wait until he is in the booth and Detroit does well (I honestly think they’ll be so-so this year), he’ll say shit like, “I was the guy who drafted him (when Calvin makes a great play), I really built this team” or some such shit.
I never thought it was possible for a douchebag as big as Millen to play the victim. The best part he actually gets to be choose-y about the jobs he takes. No, I didn’t get the other job, but the OTHER network is lining up a sweeter job for me, so I’ll just go there. I swear to god, the other announcer just needs to put a ballgag with 0-16 on Millen the whole time he is in the booth. Oh what’s that Millen, you don’t have any credibility….oh I agree.
And whoever the fuck it was in the mailbag going I’d like to pick another team, fuck you. The Lions went 0-16, they aren’t going to do WORSE this year. Be a fan and stop being a cunt. I still where my Lions hat to the gym everyday. I still take shit for it. I’m a fan no matter what. Fuck bandwagon fans.
NOW PASS ME THE COOL AID.
June 19th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
LBoH – We need to work on getting you passionate abbout the Motor City Kitties (of Allen Park).
If this guy was just bad at his job, I wouldn’t care what he had to say. But he wasn’t. He didn’t give a fuck from day 1. He negotiated a 3 day work week (Yeah kids Monday and Friday were travel days so he could get back to Pennsylvania.) and NEVER worked “overtime”. He just plain didn’t care.
And now he is confused because he came to a blue collar town that literally INVENTED hating management, and acted like he was in an ivory tower.
That said, I think Millen’s comments prove 1 thing. He is a blog reader. The things he points to are things that the media never said, but blogs and commenters did. Maybe he should have spent more time watching film of players that didn’t have jersey numbers in the 80’s, and less time trolling Mitch Albom’s imaginary articles.
June 19th, 2009 at 2:26 pm
If he could get cancer of the AIDS of the leukemia of the eyes, that would be just jim dandy. Like, if a biker could fuck that into his skull, that’d be perfect.
June 19th, 2009 at 2:30 pm
Little Ball of Hate…I hate to mention your ball of hate is not little. But lofty! True hate!
June 19th, 2009 at 2:37 pm
That’s nice how he throws the auto industry and housing market in there just to try and make the fans seem ridiculous and unreasonable and devaluate our completely justifiable hatred for this tub of fail. Matt- If you’re so fuckin’ tough you would own up to the UNDENIABLE FACT that you blew up this team.
BTW Good on you LBoH- Mr. not from Detroit from the mailbag can eat a dick. The only thing more embarrasing than being a fan of an 0-16 team is switching the next season. Think about that when you’re rocking your Patriots or Steelers gear this fall you phony.
June 19th, 2009 at 2:47 pm
Now we need Matty to take over the “Pure Michigan” tourism campaign from Tim Allen and he would be able to completely shut the state down. The first man in history that could stop people from golfing, camping, and going to the beach!
June 19th, 2009 at 3:14 pm
LBoH- my soul brother.
I’m picking you in the next gay draft.
June 19th, 2009 at 3:15 pm
Can we get LSUfreek to have hit shot full of holes like Tony at the end of Scarface? That would work too.
June 19th, 2009 at 3:18 pm
Worst sexy Friday ever?
June 19th, 2009 at 3:24 pm
My first thought upon hearing this – Vince McMahon would be a better NFL announcer than Matt Millen.
June 19th, 2009 at 3:53 pm
If Millen had only been there a couple of year, or if he hadn’t had the chance to replace a bad coach, he might be able to shake some of the blame, but really? He should really just apologize to the city of Detroit, or at least admit that he did not do his job adequately.
June 19th, 2009 at 4:19 pm
Can someone get LittleBallofHate a dictionary and a copy of Strunk and White? Because I hate to see an otherwise beautiful and forward-worthy rant tarnished by misspellings and poor grammar.
June 19th, 2009 at 4:42 pm
@claude balls
Attribute it to my rage at that moment. After posting the misspellings irked me, but there isn’t a delete button on posts is there?
June 19th, 2009 at 4:51 pm
@LBoH:
No, much to my frequent chagrin.
Fuck Matt Millen.
June 19th, 2009 at 4:59 pm
Tbf, let’s go to Wikipedia (source of all knowledge in the cosmos) and look at Matt Millen’s legacy:
Matt Millen (2001 – 2008)
- Worst winning percentage in the NFL: 31-81
- Never higher than 3rd in their division; Never made the playoffs; Never had a winning season
- Head coaches hired: Marty Morningweg (5-27), Steve Mariucci (15-28), Rod Marinelli (10-38)
- First round picks: Jeff Backus, Joey Harrington, Charles Rogers, Roy Williams, Kevin Jones, Mike Williams, Ernie Simms, Calvin Johnson, Gosder Cherilus
- Oh and his last team went ZERO WINS and EIGHTEEN LOSSES!!!
Nope, not his fault.
June 19th, 2009 at 5:44 pm
From Wikipedia: “[Millen's] eight-year tenure as head of the franchise led to the worst eight-year record in the NFL (31-97) since World War II, and resulted in his termination on September 24, 2008.”
Worst overall record in more than 6 decades. Worst single season record ever.
June 19th, 2009 at 6:09 pm
Oh, fuck this guy. Yeah Millen, you’re a real martyr.
June 19th, 2009 at 6:17 pm
Ah, the old Alan Greenspan Defense.
/no one will get that
June 19th, 2009 at 7:25 pm
I fucking hate Matt Millen… He should be fucked in the ass with a hot metal made with pennies equal to the amount of money he “earned” when he was the Lions GM because, you know, that would be a fucking HUGE metal bar… Oh, and it will also be kind of ironic…
June 19th, 2009 at 8:08 pm
@Garro Sakuragi:
Wouldn’t it be more “copperic”? Oh, I see what you did there…
June 19th, 2009 at 8:52 pm
ARRRGH!
His ego is so large it warps the fabric of space-time and can change reality!
You need to do a “This week in Fuck You” on him…. oh wait, you already did. FUCK. Do it again!
/sad thing is I knew the video was Razor Ramon right away
June 20th, 2009 at 12:29 am
Matt Millen sucks at more than space vacuum volume. NOTHING in the universe sucks worse than Matt. Even God hates Matt Millen.
June 20th, 2009 at 11:51 am
Can someone explain to me this shit? Are these ass clowns obligated by some secret hand shake club where they go ass to ass on a double ended dildo to stick up for each other?
Don Banks thinks that Millen can…can…jesus I’ll just copy and paste. This is from the same article that the scapegoat quote is from.
“But when I think of Millen, I just get the feeling he’s got a shot to become something of the Richard Nixon of the NFL, picking up the pieces of a colossal failure and re-emerging to prominence at some point in the future. Dare we say it, perhaps even an eventual return to power in some team’s personnel department?”
“For those who might not know or recall, Nixon narrowly lost the presidential election to John Kennedy in 1960, lost humiliatingly in the 1962 California governorship race, but still wound up returning from disgrace to re-invent himself and win the presidency in 1968.”
FUCK YOU DON BANKS. FUCK YOU. THERE IS NO REDEMPTION! HE ISN’T NIXON, HE IS THE BTK OF THE NFL! NOW YOU CUNTS ARE GOING AROUND AND LOOKING AT EACH OTHER, “OH YOU MEAN MATT? HE IS HARMLESS!” NO MOTHERFUCKERS, NO HE ISN’T. HE IS A PIECE OF SHIT KILLER. I HOPE HE KILLS ALL OF YOU AT SI AND LEAVES A MELTED KIT-KAT IN KING’S ASSHOLE.