If Brady Quinn gets to be a Hindu goddess of wealth, light, and fertility, it’s only fair that Plaxico Burress gets to be Osiris, the Egyptian god of death. Too bad Ol’ Dirty Bastard already held claim to the association. [Tirico Suave]
Donte Stallworth reached a settlement with the family of the person he Leonard Little’d with his car and is expected to plead guilty today to DUI manslaughter, which in Florida carries a mandatory four year minimum sentence. He’s still staying mum about admitting he was a huge disappointment for both the Patriots and the Browns. [PFT]
Buzzsaw tight end Ben Patrick is being suspended for four games, not for having two first names, but for testing positive for Adderall. Man, how’s he gonna pass the GRE now? [Gridironfans.com]
The NFL Draft is being moved back to early May next year. Finally, a few more weeks of breathless coverage of teams working out potential draftees. The offseason just got sexy. [Shutdown Corner]
Am I the only Pats fan who thought Stallworth wasn’t so bad? When you play between Welker and Moss, it’s tough to stand out. He didn’t get many balls but he had some spectacular YACs.
/pointless defense
06.16.09 at 1:09 pm
jackin'4beats
Well we know he would’ve gotten 3 years for killing a few dogs so there you go.
Dogs > Humans
This country’s legal system has its eyes closed and its head planted firmly up its ass.
06.16.09 at 12:48 pm
BuckeyeFan
Stallworth only got 30 days. Pretty good for killing a guy. I wonder how much time he would have received if he weren’t an NFL player?
06.16.09 at 12:40 pm
Nate Newon's Van
“So…Stallworth will be a 32 y.o. receiver, fresh out of jail with eroded skills and two bad hammys once he gets out of jail then?”
If he plays his cards right, he should be able to get a good stretch on those hamstrings every day by grabbing his ankles.
06.16.09 at 12:36 pm
Spatula
When trying to figure out why the NFL would move the draft, like everything else, follow the money. @Pipples is probably right about the prime time slot. Also, it probably has something to do with negotiations for a new CBA.
06.16.09 at 12:36 pm
fallex
@UU:
You mean the Florida Firecats aren’t in the NFL? I distinctly remember them playing the Spungoes in some Super Bowl past.
06.16.09 at 12:34 pm
fallex
+10 for Ottoman… would that be a ‘do-plex?
06.16.09 at 12:33 pm
jackin'4beats
…plead guilty today to DUI manslaughter, which in Florida carries a mandatory four year minimum sentence.
So…Stallworth will be a 32 y.o. receiver, fresh out of jail with eroded skills and two bad hammys once he gets out of jail then? Yep seems like the career will be over. Hope he learns a trade like tilling the soil.
06.16.09 at 12:32 pm
Kid Presentable
It’s reassuring that if Plax can’t protect himself with a gun anymore, he can always stab a dude with that goatee. Jesus.
06.16.09 at 12:20 pm
Nate Newon's Van
That mullet is a pussy magnet. Book it!
06.16.09 at 12:05 pm
Reggie Bush's Pimp
If you move the Draft 1 weekend or 2 ahead, I’m ok with it.
Anything more drastic and it’s not worth it.
06.16.09 at 12:03 pm
Otto Man
Two of the Gramatica brothers recently went to work for Habitat for Humanity. A mullet like that clearly needs hardhat protection.
I heard they’re building a multi-use unit. Business in the front, party in the back.
06.16.09 at 11:33 am
Ben
That’s stupid. The draft needs to be earlier to cure my post-March Madness hangover.
Then again, it’s probably a move to get ready for the 18-game regular season and the Super Bowl on President’s Day weekend
06.16.09 at 11:33 am
Rob in WI
Also, that artist rendering is truly special. Made the judge look just dykey enough. And really made that goatee stabd out. Awesome.
06.16.09 at 11:29 am
LaFavre's Next Retirement
Needs more book whoring.
06.16.09 at 11:27 am
Rob in WI
“Early May” clearly means that Rog was behind the murders of Barbaro and Eight Belles. Don’t fuck with the Rog. He’ll take you down Corleone style.
06.16.09 at 11:25 am
Upstate Underdog
“Gramatica and his brother Santiago, also a former NFL place kicker,”
Santiago never played in the NFL, a quick check on football-reference.com by a lazy reporter and that error could have been avoided.
06.16.09 at 11:24 am
Rob in WI
Was anyone REALLY wishing to move the draft to May? Wasn’t all the talk earliewr to move it into ealy april instead? why must they torture us with MORE Todd McShay?????
06.16.09 at 11:21 am
Pipples
Draft is in “early May.” Pretty vague, there. Probably means the Rog is shooting for that primetime, weekday draft. Held in London.
06.16.09 at 11:15 am
Reggie Bush's Pimp
He’s still staying mum about admitting he was a huge disappointment for both the Patriots and the Browns.
Don’t forget the Saints, who drafted his hands of stone ass #13 overall!
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/haleysteelers-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/redskins_thin_man1-150x150.jpg)
Am I the only Pats fan who thought Stallworth wasn’t so bad? When you play between Welker and Moss, it’s tough to stand out. He didn’t get many balls but he had some spectacular YACs.
/pointless defense
Well we know he would’ve gotten 3 years for killing a few dogs so there you go.
Dogs > Humans
This country’s legal system has its eyes closed and its head planted firmly up its ass.
Stallworth only got 30 days. Pretty good for killing a guy. I wonder how much time he would have received if he weren’t an NFL player?
“So…Stallworth will be a 32 y.o. receiver, fresh out of jail with eroded skills and two bad hammys once he gets out of jail then?”
If he plays his cards right, he should be able to get a good stretch on those hamstrings every day by grabbing his ankles.
When trying to figure out why the NFL would move the draft, like everything else, follow the money. @Pipples is probably right about the prime time slot. Also, it probably has something to do with negotiations for a new CBA.
@UU:
You mean the Florida Firecats aren’t in the NFL? I distinctly remember them playing the Spungoes in some Super Bowl past.
+10 for Ottoman… would that be a ‘do-plex?
…plead guilty today to DUI manslaughter, which in Florida carries a mandatory four year minimum sentence.
So…Stallworth will be a 32 y.o. receiver, fresh out of jail with eroded skills and two bad hammys once he gets out of jail then? Yep seems like the career will be over. Hope he learns a trade like tilling the soil.
It’s reassuring that if Plax can’t protect himself with a gun anymore, he can always stab a dude with that goatee. Jesus.
That mullet is a pussy magnet. Book it!
If you move the Draft 1 weekend or 2 ahead, I’m ok with it.
Anything more drastic and it’s not worth it.
Two of the Gramatica brothers recently went to work for Habitat for Humanity. A mullet like that clearly needs hardhat protection.
I heard they’re building a multi-use unit. Business in the front, party in the back.
That’s stupid. The draft needs to be earlier to cure my post-March Madness hangover.
Then again, it’s probably a move to get ready for the 18-game regular season and the Super Bowl on President’s Day weekend
Also, that artist rendering is truly special. Made the judge look just dykey enough. And really made that goatee stabd out. Awesome.
Needs more book whoring.
“Early May” clearly means that Rog was behind the murders of Barbaro and Eight Belles. Don’t fuck with the Rog. He’ll take you down Corleone style.
“Gramatica and his brother Santiago, also a former NFL place kicker,”
Santiago never played in the NFL, a quick check on football-reference.com by a lazy reporter and that error could have been avoided.
Was anyone REALLY wishing to move the draft to May? Wasn’t all the talk earliewr to move it into ealy april instead? why must they torture us with MORE Todd McShay?????
Draft is in “early May.” Pretty vague, there. Probably means the Rog is shooting for that primetime, weekday draft. Held in London.
He’s still staying mum about admitting he was a huge disappointment for both the Patriots and the Browns.
Don’t forget the Saints, who drafted his hands of stone ass #13 overall!