Jim Brown dismayed by lack of activism and lack of wife-beating
if you don’t see the difference now, brother, you never will.
Tonight Jim Brown will appear on HBO’s “Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel”. Among other topics, the greatest running back to ever play the game will address his dissatisfaction with the current generation of athletes’ failure to follow the examples set by him and others of from his era. We had hoped to get a preview of what this legend had to say, but obviously, Mr. Brown would never talk to someone associated with this site. But let’s pretend that he did…
“My career as a prominent athlete came during a time of tremendous upheaval in this country. The easiest thing I could have done was keep my mouth shut and continue to collect my salary—considered quite ample at the time. But instead, I redoubled my efforts towards my two greatest goals—being an agent of social change for my people, and beating the living daylights out of any woman who dared back-sass me. It is a damn shame that the top athletes of today choose to ignore the trail I blazed for them.
If we are to effect the kind of change necessary to improve the lot of future generations, we must reach out the most disenfranchised and marginalized among us. We need individuals whose message will be heard by inner-city youth. I established a nationwide network called Amer-I-Can, that takes young people headed down the wrong path and instills them with a sense of self-worth and puts them on the road to being productive citizens. But these at-risk youngsters don’t want to listen to politicians or crusty old-timers like me. They are attuned to their heroes, people like Tiger Woods and LeBron James. They need to hear it from these men that they can determine a future where they will succeed and prosper—a future where they can slap the shit out of any trifling chickenhead they see fit.
There are some athletes out there who feebly try to follow my example. Stephon Marbury sells a pair of shoes that cost $3 to make for $15 instead of $90 and he is lauded as an activist. Can you believe that shit? Let me tell you something, in 1986 in Los Angeles, I personally negotiated a truce between the Crips and Bloods. That’s activism. Selling some cheapass shoes is not activism.
That hussy from the Golf Channel said other players on the PGA Tour should lynch Tiger Woods and Tiger just let that shit go. Said it was ‘an unfortunate choice of words’. Lemme tell you something, when they put the badmouth on ol’ Jim, I just threw those bitches off the fucking balcony and went about my business. They don’t press charges after that, they just keep their mouths shut. Lynch this, devil-woman!
Lately, when I go around the country and speak to various youth groups, there’s always some wiseass youngblood who says, ‘But Mister Brown, Brandon Marshall beats his women way worse that you ever did’. Sheeeeeeit, don’t get me started on Brandon Marshall. I didn’t just choke bitches for a few seconds or put a couple of bruises on their faces. I beat that ass. My wife once had me arrested for smashing in some for car windows. They charged me with vandalism. Ain’t that some shit? Who in the hell do they think paid for that ride? How am I supposed to vandalize something I already own? I showed her though; when I got done she went on Larry King and said it was her fault because of the PMS. WHEN JIM BROWN BEATS ‘EM THEY STAY BEAT!!!”
June 23rd, 2009 at 1:40 pm
Jim Brown, meet Oxy Moron. Oxy Moron, meet Jim Brown.
June 23rd, 2009 at 1:45 pm
This is one of the funniest things I have seen on the site in a long time.
June 23rd, 2009 at 1:47 pm
Brown was on NFLN a few years ago pissing and moaning about athletes getting in trouble with the law. I was slack-jawed, not only because of his incredible inability to recognize irony and/or his amazing lack of self-awareness, but because nobody bothered to mention that Jim would smack a bitch two times quick. I expect such shameless toadying from rock-headed athletes who grew up idolizing Jim Brown, but I was disgusted that Rich Eisen, purportedly a reporter, let it slide. Say what you like about Gumbel, but the man can conduct a rough interview. I think Brown isn’t going to find the level of obsequiousness he’s used to. I wonder if he’ll put the Pimp Hand on Gumble?
June 23rd, 2009 at 1:55 pm
Kill Whitey.
June 23rd, 2009 at 1:57 pm
Whatever, still liked him in “I’m Gonna Git You, Sucka!”
June 23rd, 2009 at 2:00 pm
i think it says something about the duality of man
/joker’d
June 23rd, 2009 at 2:14 pm
Perhaps too many athletes are listening to Chris Rock’s mantra – “I would never hit a woman. But I’d shake the shit out of her.”
Bravo, flubby. Masterfully done.
June 23rd, 2009 at 2:16 pm
I would only add that if you’ve never read Jim Brown’s autobiography “Out of Bounds”, get off your ass and a get a copy post-haste. It is without question one of the five greatest books ever written
June 23rd, 2009 at 2:22 pm
Flubby may post once every blue moon, but it’s always better than the other material.
June 23rd, 2009 at 2:25 pm
:stands up and applauds:
I can totally hear Jim Brown’s voice reading that statement and telling me to keep my pimp hand strong.
Jim Brown – asskicker on the field and off!
June 23rd, 2009 at 2:41 pm
Greatest college lacrosse player ever.
You gonna tell him he’s not?
June 23rd, 2009 at 2:43 pm
What a hothead.
June 23rd, 2009 at 3:03 pm
CLASSIC!!! gee, i wonder why jim would never talk to anyone from this site…lol
June 23rd, 2009 at 3:38 pm
@Tracer Bullet
Anyone who goes to work for NFLN forgoes any pretense they might have had of being a “journalist.” “Propagandist” is more like it.
June 23rd, 2009 at 3:39 pm
Can’t imagine why someone with the commenting name Shitsburg Stealers would dislike my work here.
June 23rd, 2009 at 3:42 pm
Jim Brown – American Icon
Whuppin’ bitches asses and wearing funny hats since 1968.
June 23rd, 2009 at 3:48 pm
did I miss it or did KSK not cover Artie Lange vs Joe Buck? I’m not seeing it in previous posts.
June 23rd, 2009 at 3:52 pm
the greatest running back to ever play the game
Fuck Jim Brown. That list starts with Walter Payton. And I say that being a Packer fan.
/RBFlaWa?
June 23rd, 2009 at 3:56 pm
Jim Brown >>> Chris Brown
June 23rd, 2009 at 3:57 pm
@Rob in WI: Really? Better than Ahman Green?
June 23rd, 2009 at 4:00 pm
Yeah, but Walter and his squeaky-ass girly voice could never beat on them bitches the way Jim Brown did!!!
June 23rd, 2009 at 4:04 pm
@SoS
Ahman is clearly 3rd on that list. C’mon NOW!
June 23rd, 2009 at 4:05 pm
OJ Simpson > Jim Brown
Now THAT is a man who got the job done with the white women/Jews.
June 23rd, 2009 at 5:08 pm
Everyone knows that Duce Staley is the greatest living running back.
/King’d
June 23rd, 2009 at 5:09 pm
Everyone knows that Duce Staley is the greatest living running back.
/King’d
June 23rd, 2009 at 5:12 pm
Jim Brown – not Walter Payton, Barry Sanders, etc. – is far and away the greatest RB ever. You’re talking about a guy who could outquick or overpower any front 7, who when he would break into the secondary, defensive backs would run away from him rather than try to tackle him (you know, like they were supposed to). Possibly the greatest athlete ever when you read about all his athletic exploits (to say nothing of his sexual exploits, to which he devotes an entire chapter in his autobiography). My favorite Jim Brown story? Some scrub linebacker was talking shit to him after a tackle as they’re walking off the field, and Jim Brown ignores it for a while before nonchalantly turning and saying “You really think you can kick my ass?”, causing the scrub linebacker to shut the fuck up and run away, tail tucked firmly between legs. Now that’s a fucking MEAST.
/boner for Jim Brown
//no homo
June 23rd, 2009 at 5:27 pm
domestic abuse jokes never get old. seriously.
June 23rd, 2009 at 5:50 pm
@CC: I see your Duce Staley and I raise you an Ironhead Heyward.
Come on, what was that thingie?!!!
June 23rd, 2009 at 6:00 pm
“What the fuck. I ain’t killed nobody in a long time.”
You gotta love a man who was hating on O.J. LONG before it was in fashion.
June 23rd, 2009 at 9:18 pm
seriously, the passes “super athletes” get for violence against women is sickening. he may be a badass, but hopefully there’ll be some cosmic justice from some amazon when he dies.
June 23rd, 2009 at 11:31 pm
@claude balls:
Gary Gait might.
June 24th, 2009 at 8:56 am
miamidiesel reopens the “What Star Would You Go Gay For” debate.
/maybe Jim Brown
//but not fucking catching
June 24th, 2009 at 10:09 am
eh, i dont care i still think jim brown is a bad ass. i hear he’s playing in this poker tournament in the bahamas in the near future, hopefully we can see him be good in poker just he was in football.
-ana
June 25th, 2009 at 4:33 pm
Bring back Gumbel to Gumbel !