If tudday be dat didlann foduh Vikins, Howcum I ain’t did yit?
Dem Vikins shurr got sumpin hangin down out thur crawls, cuzza jus gissin here, but dint dey saydat dissa dedlann togitoll Brittfarr to sann dat auddograff ondat noo kontract? Well, giss wut, y’oll chum buckits. Ol’ Brittfarr ain’t did yet. So booly on dat for uh bit.
Dat ol coot Chilldriss, boy he ain’t got the since Gawd gave uh mean ol’ tick hound in the forst. He thankin he kin put Brittfarr behann dat ol’ kueball an say, “Now Brittfar, yew gotsa makeup dat ol’ gord o’yors an dessade i’yew gon play footbaw this yeer.
Ah ain’t gotsa dessade nuttin. I Brittfarr! I throofer fitty meelyin yars, throofer bout nanny meelyin tuch-dayowns, and only three innercipshuns! Mamma says I ain’t gotta kount all dem innercipshuns iffah down wantoo. En ah down wantoo!
Yer didlann ain’t sheeit, dere, Childriss, ya big ol hushpuppy. If yew gon killoll Brittfarr, yew cummon down heeuh and doo sum killin. But I’ll hunt yew lika meen ol’ smokey bayer been huntin dem fish inna stream. Cept witha big ol’ gun. I’mma git yew, Childriss. Jussa soonis yew put ol’ Brittfarr back on datdere footbaw team!
|img from Pacman Jonesin’|
Tags: backwater Brett, MMP
June 12th, 2009 at 9:07 am
Jeez Punter, that’s just…about right.
June 12th, 2009 at 9:15 am
So booly on dat for uh bit.
Did you just combine Pacman and Brittfar?
/hides from coming apocalypse
June 12th, 2009 at 9:20 am
Brett Favre needs to comeback if he freakin’ wants, and everyone else needs to get off his jock.
June 12th, 2009 at 9:21 am
Brittfar just made my head explode.
June 12th, 2009 at 9:21 am
When I read these posts, the voice comes out as three parts Boomhower, one part Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel, and two parts Buffalo Bill from “Silence of the Lambs.”
June 12th, 2009 at 9:25 am
Is there some way we can have Pacman, Briitarr, and Ochocinco get together and have a discussion about world events or something? Moderated by PK? Or Kornheiser? Is there any way we can make this happen?
June 12th, 2009 at 9:30 am
If Brittfar signs with your team, is it acceptable to move your allegiance to another team for the year that Brittfar is there?
June 12th, 2009 at 9:31 am
Is there some way we can have Pacman, Briitarr, and Ochocinco get together and have a discussion about world events or something?
If this is going to be moderated, it needs to be done by Kendra, prize catch of hank basket.
June 12th, 2009 at 9:31 am
Also, when Brittfar says “Vikin” I think he pronounces it “Vicodin”
June 12th, 2009 at 9:37 am
@ Otto Man
Some folk’ll never fuck their team, and then again some folk’ll like Brittfar the slackjawed yokel
June 12th, 2009 at 9:47 am
God, this feels good.
Fuck you Brett Favre.
June 12th, 2009 at 10:12 am
If there is anyway that the Vikings could fuck this QB situation up anymore, please let me know.
June 12th, 2009 at 10:28 am
@El Bandito Blancito:
http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=4253231
June 12th, 2009 at 10:30 am
JAWS! Did you ever in a million years think Brett Favre would get SHOULDER SURGERY?
June 12th, 2009 at 10:33 am
If there is anyway that the Vikings could fuck this QB situation up anymore, please let me know.
Bring the Sex Cannon in and make it a true competition?
June 12th, 2009 at 10:35 am
If there is anyway that the Vikings could fuck this QB situation up anymore, please let me know.
Sorry, Byron Leftwich already signed a two-year deal with the Bucs.
/vomits in mouth a little
June 12th, 2009 at 10:35 am
this is like fucking mad gab. as much as I enjoy the brittfar posts, they make my head hurt.
June 12th, 2009 at 10:37 am
Punter, this is one of the funniest things I’ve ever read on this site – and that’s saying alot. Awesome.
June 12th, 2009 at 10:37 am
@El Bandito:
They could sign this guy.
June 12th, 2009 at 10:41 am
Fuck me. That’s what I get for not posting a link to the first Vick picture that came up on Google. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
/tips cap to porky1
June 12th, 2009 at 10:54 am
I’m from East Texas and I still have to translate the Farve posts word by word just to understand them. Well done.
June 12th, 2009 at 11:17 am
Stay off mah footbaw team ya cackamamie idjit galoot!
I will begin calling Coach Chilly a “big ol hushpuppy” from this day forward.
Fuck you, Brett Favre!
June 12th, 2009 at 11:30 am
You’ve somehow came up with a way of writing in a character’s voice that confuses me more than Pacman and Emmitt Smith combined. I don’t know if I want to applaud you or karate chop you in the throat. Probably the throat thing though. Karate is awesome.
June 12th, 2009 at 11:49 am
No “vikings are going 3-13″ tag? Come onnnnn
June 12th, 2009 at 11:52 am
Needs a ‘backwater brett’ tag so I can continue my habit of going back and re-reading all of these posts every few weeks.
/continues searching for a life
June 12th, 2009 at 11:52 am
Facebook needs to add “Brittfar” as a language option. Fuck that pirate shit.
June 12th, 2009 at 11:55 am
Needs more “dadgum”
June 12th, 2009 at 12:00 pm
After reading this, I had to pinch my nose to prevent my brain from leaking out. Well done.
/glad that the media will be all over the Vikings this season
//hopes JJ keep his mouth shut and Cowboys can fly under the radar
///knows #2 won’t happen
June 12th, 2009 at 12:49 pm
LOL I just punished myself by reading “Riddley Walker” a few weeks ago so unfortunately I can understand this perfectly. Well done sir!
June 12th, 2009 at 1:02 pm
brittfarr = boomhauer from king of the hill?
June 12th, 2009 at 2:20 pm
That was amazingly impossible to read.
June 15th, 2009 at 4:12 pm
You missed having Diana yell out “BRETT! You git yer ass here now! Dinner’s ready!”
“ah Diana, buddi jus got da crawfish traps sit!”