Happy Birthday, You Big Putz
That’s right, SI’s preeminent coffee and travel blogger turns 52 today. In honor of the momentous occasion we’ve compiled some first-rate gift ideas.
-Land
-Elite flyer medal (really just the plastic wings they give to kids to get them to behave on the plane)
-Red Sox championship ring
-Brett Favre stubble
-Walking cane
-Reimbursement from Schlereth
-Long term parking for one seldom used car
-Toone P. Wiggins gift card
-A copy of Coldplay’s Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends
-Season 3 of House on DVD
Continue after the jump for our own special gift to the birthday boy.
Don’t eat it all in one sitting…ah, who the fuck am I kidding. Just try not to eat the aluminum foil.
Image via Flickr
Tags: Birthday Dog, birthdays, ksk group posts, peter king, photoshop by ape/ufford, Unsilent Majority
June 10th, 2009 at 4:33 pm
May you respect the Sun for many more years, or until Drew murders you in an act of “mercy killing”
June 10th, 2009 at 4:33 pm
I thought that picture was what he left in the DFW airport’s bathroom?
June 10th, 2009 at 4:34 pm
Brett Favre blow up doll….
June 10th, 2009 at 4:36 pm
The fact that that’s not made of feces is really disappointing.
June 10th, 2009 at 4:38 pm
A “coffee-flavored water”-flavored KitKat bar would have been so much more thoughtful…
June 10th, 2009 at 4:44 pm
True gifts. Lofty gifts.
June 10th, 2009 at 4:48 pm
-The name of a good cardiologist
-Baked doggie treats
-Rand McNally Road Atlas
-Three month ocean cruise for Deanna Favre and the kids
-Autographed Dustin Pedroia baseball stolen from a seven year-old
-The chance to sing “Hip To Be Square” with Huey Lewis and The News at another Zimmerman benefit
June 10th, 2009 at 4:49 pm
But who will wish him a happy birthday? Other columnists don’t address people directly the way he does.
June 10th, 2009 at 5:02 pm
How about a Thomas Guide?
Happy Birthday, you big galoot. You know we’re all only kidding with the insults and the uh….
(looks around)
…uh…look, Maj made you a Kit Kat Kake! Now with 30% less feces!
June 10th, 2009 at 5:04 pm
Here’s hoping your lasagna has plenty of nutmeg!
June 10th, 2009 at 5:06 pm
A time machine to transport him to present day in pop culture.
June 10th, 2009 at 5:07 pm
Round Trip airfare to Peet’s Coffee East. Or, as the old timers call it, “Italy.”
June 10th, 2009 at 5:14 pm
A GPS unit, so he won’t have to depend on government bureaucrats’ poorly-drafted signs when he leaves his walkers’ paradise of Boston.
June 10th, 2009 at 5:18 pm
At first I mistook the photo tag for “Kit Katkakke” rather than Kake to be Kute. Still funny.
Twitter lessons from @GOOchoCinco
June 10th, 2009 at 5:19 pm
A copy of Gran Torino on DVD.
June 10th, 2009 at 5:21 pm
-Travel defibrilator
June 10th, 2009 at 5:28 pm
Lube by the drum.
June 10th, 2009 at 5:28 pm
New-fangled walking sneakers…for all that walking he’s going to do now that he lives in a city.
June 10th, 2009 at 5:35 pm
- A pedometer to track his fleet footin’ around Boston
- Austin Wood autographed baseball (stolen from small child)
- Advanced Twitter lessons
- Name and address of owner of Blue Maxima
June 10th, 2009 at 5:37 pm
Those are all great gifts. Lofty gifts.
June 10th, 2009 at 5:41 pm
Although he has no trouble writing about which hotels don’t serve coffee to his exacting standards and a Mississippian that he’d like to fuck, I thought about giving him something he could use:
http://www.amazon.com/Sports-Writing-Beginners-Steve-Craig/dp/0965657493/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1244669661&sr=1-1
Maybe this book will teach how to FUCKING USE BULLET POINTS PROPERLY!!!
June 10th, 2009 at 5:50 pm
We should all be a little bit thankful that caffeine addict is around. after all, without PK, they might have to resort to sexy monday or something.
June 10th, 2009 at 5:55 pm
I wonder what North by Northwest is getting him.
June 10th, 2009 at 6:09 pm
I was going to get him dinner with me and Dustin Pedroia, but I’m not sure the false prophet eats grown up food.
June 10th, 2009 at 6:19 pm
one .338 cranial implant…
June 10th, 2009 at 6:48 pm
I hear Dr. Z’s present was allowing PK to blow him. That defines clutch.
June 10th, 2009 at 7:03 pm
Technically, is he a putz or a yutz? I need some insight on this.
June 10th, 2009 at 7:09 pm
I heard Biloxijim gave him J-Rod’s autograph.
June 10th, 2009 at 7:11 pm
Peter King NEEDS a wolf t-shirt for his birthday -
http://www.amazon.com/The-Mountain-Three-Wolf-T-Shirt/dp/B000NZW3KM/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=apparel&qid=1244675379&sr=8-1
June 10th, 2009 at 7:15 pm
J.L. White wins the thread.
June 10th, 2009 at 7:19 pm
Football season can’t get here fast enough.
June 10th, 2009 at 7:32 pm
@bethie:
I see no problem with either translation. I’m sure Peter King has had KitKatkkake on many occasions. Probably combined with other ‘kkakes.
June 10th, 2009 at 8:39 pm
-XXXL “Fuck Me, Brett Favre” t-shirt
June 10th, 2009 at 10:51 pm
Am i the only one that thinks that looks delicious?
June 10th, 2009 at 11:15 pm
5 more people on the FNIA show to make it even better!
June 10th, 2009 at 11:31 pm
Brett Favre should’ve announced his return to the NFL to Peter King for his first birthday present. The second obviously is them fucking on the floor like animals.
June 11th, 2009 at 1:27 am
A life time supply of Grandaddy sized Depends. Because a colonoscopy is nothing to fuck around with kids.
That’s all I have to say about that.
June 11th, 2009 at 7:40 am
Chemistry set.
June 11th, 2009 at 8:20 am
a coffee enema
June 11th, 2009 at 8:41 am
One way ticket to Columbia for all the coffee he can drink. Mr. Valdez! You know how to make a cup of coffee!
June 11th, 2009 at 9:09 am
$300,000 parking space in Boston: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090611/ap_on_re_us/300000_parking_space
June 11th, 2009 at 10:21 am
nom nom nom:
http://www.carm3d.net/MySpace/BirthdayCat.JPG
June 11th, 2009 at 10:43 am
The Greatest Gift of All…….Jes……I mean Relevence! I know it’s impossible, but…..we can all dream can’t we?
June 11th, 2009 at 2:07 pm
Future Mr. Brett Favre t-shirt?
With apologies to FMRA
June 11th, 2009 at 9:28 pm
uggs, so PK can finally figure out what the big deal is with them.
June 16th, 2009 at 8:23 am
Happy Happy Birthday to you?