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I love those days where something awesome falls out of the sky and into our inbox. And today we have one such treat: it’s Brett Favre’s hillbilly cousin, and his Twitter feed. And you thought Twitter was retarded. Well folks, in the right hands, it can be AWESOMELY RETARDED. An anonymous friend from Heavy.com’s The Burly Show explains:

We were talking some shit about Favre on our Twitter page and got an angry reply from someone who seems to be his cousin, once removed, who apparently is just scouring Twitter, looking for posts about his “cousin” and freaking the fuck out. He is at Biloxijim.. His tweets are 98% swearing at “the haters” and 2% talking about his son’s little league team. He only started 2 days ago, but it’s amazing, crazy stuff. Here are some highlights:

mortreport Brett is coming back, and who cares why? We get to watch him and that is all the reason I need to support him coming back.

Sitting at home watching Sportscenter, and doing ebay. Waiting on AT&T to call me for my JOB.

@akhueston …and you are a freakin’ DOUCHE. Brett Favre is the Mannnnn.

@TheBSshow The Jets were 8-2 when his shoulder was healthy numb nuts. How can you question the GREATEST QB EVER? WTF have you done? NOTHING!

Brett Favre is da baddest Mofo of all times. He is the “Chuck Norris” of football.

@RickTheActor Brett Favre needs to comeback if he freakin’ wants, and everyone else needs to get off his jock.

@JakeFarmakis Dude, Brett is my cousin, and he is a South Mississippi rough neck, he would beat your ass down. Ask around MS. He loved scrap

Raise your hand if you think for a single minute that Brett Favre give’s a rat’s ass about whay you people say.

@Ok_Abacus This is all Brett Favre. Deanna supports her husband like any wife should. Who the hell do you think you are to say that? dumbass

@porkgravy His going to play, and kick ass, and all you haters will grumble and moan as usual. Brett Favre is the greatest of all times

I’m beating down on all the Brett Favre twitter haters.

@jennispinner Brett Favre is allowed to change his mind as often as he’d like. …so all you haters get off of his jock.

@tat2dsteelergal Hey fuck face, watch what the fuck you say. I’ll bury you six feet under for talking that kind of shit about my family. ASS

@THATGUYMARTIN Well, I hope you fuckin’ die in your sleep tonight, and I won’t feel bad about it.

@MartyBaceda Gimmie a break. With Brett Favre, the Vikings are 12 – 4 easily, maybe 14 – 2. I think they’ll just miss the Super Bowl

@TheBSshow oh, btw, yes I am Brett’s cousin. His mother and my grandmother are sisters.

I wish you idiots would get off of Brett Favre’s jock. He hasn’t said anything this off season, and you still say he is the premadonna.

ESPN, do your homework before you spout off about Brett Favre. He will become a Viking when he is damn good and ready.

Heading out to watch some Lil’League Baseball. Go #12 Jimmy Erwin aka J Rod

Our operationneeds you to appropriately screw with this guy, so I wanted to pass it along to you. You need to put out the call to your readers to incite this guy on Twitter and see how far over the edge we can get him.

That is all.

Thanks,
KJ

Consider it done, my dear.