An Open Letter To KSK From Jets Coach Rex Ryan
We’re always impressed when we get letters from people around the NFL. It still kinda blows our collective minds that this blog gets all the attention that it does in the sports universe. But we were doubly surprised when we received an email from Rex Ryan, who of course is the new coach for the New York Jets, who asked us to share a message with you on his behalf. We were flattered by the gesture, and only too happy to oblige, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that this was just another form letter that he sends out regularly to random groups of people. Read it after the jump and tell us if we’re just crazy.
Received: from [66.41.157.4] by web36702.mail.nyjets.com via HTTP; Wed, 24 Jun 2009 18:40:07 PDT
X-Mailer: NFLMailRC/1357.18 NFLMailWebService/0.7.289.15
Date: Wed, 24 Jun 2009 18:40:07 -0700 (PDT)
From: Rex Ryan
Subject: Open letter (please share with your readers)
To: kissingsuzykolber@gmail.com
——————————————————
Dear Friends Of KSK:
Hye Ftololba fnas, wahs’t hppanenig? Rxe Rayn hree. Tihs hsa bene teh frist yare fo perpraenig fro teh Jtes saseon. Is’t bene gdoo os fra. Raelly Gdoo. I flee lkie I hvae dreseved hits fro a lnog tmei now. Adn I lkoo frodarw ot esenig hawt we cna od twih ym now tmae.
Teh Ftololba saeson si liek a sxey wmona wthi hgue ttsi. Yuo wnat ot raehc fro teh ttsiies rgiht awya, btu yuo msut risest! Yuo ndee ot biudl pu ot teh ttsiies whit kssies nad hlodnig hnads nad smoetmies donig wrok aournd teh husoe. I kown, I htae ti oto! Btu tehn wneh yuo hvae biult teh fnoudatoin, teh ttsiies wlli cmoe ot yuo! Hwo aweosme si taht?
Gdoo lkuc hits saseon ot lla yuor taems, nad ot tehir caohces. Mnay caohces dn’ot lsat lnog ni teh NLF thsee dyas. Nad godo lcuk ni yuor prenasol nedavors. Jsut bleivee ni yuorslef nad ees teh jbos ot teh end. Gdoseepd.
Snicreley,
Rex Ryan,
Head Coach
New York Jets
Tags: Dyslexy Rexy, It's funny because he's dyslexic..., jeez punter that's just wrong, MMP, New York Jets
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June 25th, 2009 at 8:16 am
Rex Ryan: NFL Coach by day, Internet message board commenter by night.
June 25th, 2009 at 8:31 am
Taht’s raelly inconsedirate
June 25th, 2009 at 8:36 am
Man, I thought trying to decipher Hines-speak was tough.
June 25th, 2009 at 8:40 am
That’s easier to read than the handwritten letter I got from Michael J. Fox
June 25th, 2009 at 8:42 am
Who would have thought – he looks like such a bright guy.
June 25th, 2009 at 8:58 am
Thank God Favre left I don’t think i would have attempted to read a post of those two talking to each other.
June 25th, 2009 at 9:22 am
Muhammad Ali sees nothing wrong with this letter.
June 25th, 2009 at 9:23 am
+1 for Dyslexy Rexy.
Dyslexcannon?
June 25th, 2009 at 9:36 am
@ Grimace … Cannondyslex
Sounds like a Buddy Ryan move, “my kid ain’t goin to no special school, he’s just got the dispepsia.”
June 25th, 2009 at 9:53 am
+1 Skins
adn jzee pntuer htas’t jtsu rwnog
ouy suolhdt’n ikpc on teh ahidnacp
/dkci jkeo
June 25th, 2009 at 9:57 am
Dyslexy Rexy, Hines Wald, Brittfarr, Emmitt Smiff, and Chad Ochocinco start a blog……
June 25th, 2009 at 9:59 am
I’m really upset right now because this is the quickest I was ever able to read….anything.
admmit!
June 25th, 2009 at 10:00 am
Vinny from Rockaway is confused
June 25th, 2009 at 10:01 am
Well shit, just drop the “A” from Toyota and they’re the perfect sponsor.
June 25th, 2009 at 10:01 am
Next: A dyslexic Hines Ward gets into an argument with Chad Ochocinco over who can imitate Brittfar the best.
June 25th, 2009 at 10:02 am
lolz…well done.
Though I must admit, I expected this to be an “I’ve stepped over bigger guys than Monday Morning Punter to get into a fight” post.
June 25th, 2009 at 10:10 am
+1 grimey
June 25th, 2009 at 10:11 am
As a sufferer of dysgraphia, I find this post fucking hiliraous. hilarious? hialarious? shit. and ‘dyslexy rexy’ best be on a shirt by the end of the day.
June 25th, 2009 at 10:11 am
This letter is awesome if you read it aloud in drunk Harry Caray voice.
June 25th, 2009 at 10:15 am
A dyslexic walks into a bra…
June 25th, 2009 at 10:15 am
Dyslexics of the world untie!
June 25th, 2009 at 10:16 am
did you hear about the dyslexic guy that sold his soul to Santa?
June 25th, 2009 at 10:16 am
Everything is awesome when read aloud in a drunk Harry Caray voice. Especially, cease and desist letters from his widow.
June 25th, 2009 at 10:22 am
Grimey wins.
Note to Punter: “Titties” has three “t’s” and only one “s”
June 25th, 2009 at 10:28 am
Dyslexy Rexy’s defense did put a bounty on Hines last year. Maybe he thought Hinesspeak was mocking him.
June 25th, 2009 at 10:30 am
@claude balls
you’ve never heard anyone call them titsies?
June 25th, 2009 at 10:33 am
I love hgue ttsi.
June 25th, 2009 at 10:58 am
Isn’t “Nad godo lcuk” Hines Ward’s cousin?
June 25th, 2009 at 10:59 am
“I flee lkie I hvae dreseved hits fro a lnog tmei now” => “I feel like I have deserved shit for a long time now”
Well, you got it: a job with the New York Jets!
June 25th, 2009 at 11:04 am
This is twice as easy as reading Hines-speak, and 20 times easier than reading Brittfar.
“Dyslexy Rexy” is fucking hilarious.
June 25th, 2009 at 11:12 am
Dyslexics have more fnu!
June 25th, 2009 at 11:12 am
Rex’s favorite players:
kellen clemens, Alan Faneca, Bubba Franks, Kris Jenkins, Danny Woodhead
June 25th, 2009 at 11:50 am
I read it after the jump, and other than the lack of a spell check it looks like any other basic form letter….
PUNTE, you’re just crazy.
June 25th, 2009 at 12:07 pm
So how did he not f-up his signature?
June 25th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
Hear about the guy who was insomniac, agnostic, and dyslexic?
He’d lay awake all night pondering the existence of Dog.
June 25th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
@ your wife’s lipstick: preprinted sig line on Jets Letterhead. Keeps thigs tidy.
June 25th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
THINGS. Jafo are ‘tarded.
June 25th, 2009 at 12:55 pm
This was like a word jumble in the news paper, except without the gay cartoon.
June 25th, 2009 at 1:17 pm
I think a post of Hines reading the bounty note from DyslexyRexy is in order.
June 25th, 2009 at 3:04 pm
Darren Sproles thinks you should l-l-l-l-a-a-a-y-y-y o-o-o-o-f-f-f-f.
June 25th, 2009 at 3:32 pm
Rhymes, I read it that way too.
Spatula, I think that would be his Vietnamese cousin.
June 25th, 2009 at 5:51 pm
Is this post based on some actual evidence?
Did Rex Ryan catch a bit of the dyslexia bug that has been going around?
June 25th, 2009 at 7:48 pm
There’s exactly one link on the page. Try clicking it!
June 25th, 2009 at 11:45 pm
He probably ended up with dyslexia from listening to that mumbled gibberish that comes out of his old man’s mouth when he speaks or maybe it was from Buddy taking a swing at him when he came off the field in his pee wee days.
June 26th, 2009 at 5:21 am
Sorry, Punte. I am one of the 500 million people that have been talking shit about Michael Jackson for 15 years and now feel depressed because the king of pop is dead. I havent had time to click on the one link because I have been listening to ‘Billie Jean’ for 9 hours.
June 26th, 2009 at 8:22 pm
At least now the kids are safe.
June 27th, 2009 at 3:14 pm
as a jets fan i find this to be utterly risdespectful
July 1st, 2009 at 12:48 am
hire the handicapped: they’re fun to watch.