We’re always impressed when we get letters from people around the NFL. It still kinda blows our collective minds that this blog gets all the attention that it does in the sports universe. But we were doubly surprised when we received an email from Rex Ryan, who of course is the new coach for the New York Jets, who asked us to share a message with you on his behalf. We were flattered by the gesture, and only too happy to oblige, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that this was just another form letter that he sends out regularly to random groups of people. Read it after the jump and tell us if we’re just crazy.
Received: from [66.41.157.4] by web36702.mail.nyjets.com via HTTP; Wed, 24 Jun 2009 18:40:07 PDT
X-Mailer: NFLMailRC/1357.18 NFLMailWebService/0.7.289.15
Date: Wed, 24 Jun 2009 18:40:07 -0700 (PDT)
From: Rex Ryan
Subject: Open letter (please share with your readers)
To: kissingsuzykolber@gmail.com
——————————————————
Dear Friends Of KSK:
Hye Ftololba fnas, wahs’t hppanenig? Rxe Rayn hree. Tihs hsa bene teh frist yare fo perpraenig fro teh Jtes saseon. Is’t bene gdoo os fra. Raelly Gdoo. I flee lkie I hvae dreseved hits fro a lnog tmei now. Adn I lkoo frodarw ot esenig hawt we cna od twih ym now tmae.
Teh Ftololba saeson si liek a sxey wmona wthi hgue ttsi. Yuo wnat ot raehc fro teh ttsiies rgiht awya, btu yuo msut risest! Yuo ndee ot biudl pu ot teh ttsiies whit kssies nad hlodnig hnads nad smoetmies donig wrok aournd teh husoe. I kown, I htae ti oto! Btu tehn wneh yuo hvae biult teh fnoudatoin, teh ttsiies wlli cmoe ot yuo! Hwo aweosme si taht?
Gdoo lkuc hits saseon ot lla yuor taems, nad ot tehir caohces. Mnay caohces dn’ot lsat lnog ni teh NLF thsee dyas. Nad godo lcuk ni yuor prenasol nedavors. Jsut bleivee ni yuorslef nad ees teh jbos ot teh end. Gdoseepd.
Snicreley,
Rex Ryan,
Head Coach
New York Jets
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hire the handicapped: they’re fun to watch.
as a jets fan i find this to be utterly risdespectful
At least now the kids are safe.
Sorry, Punte. I am one of the 500 million people that have been talking shit about Michael Jackson for 15 years and now feel depressed because the king of pop is dead. I havent had time to click on the one link because I have been listening to ‘Billie Jean’ for 9 hours.
He probably ended up with dyslexia from listening to that mumbled gibberish that comes out of his old man’s mouth when he speaks or maybe it was from Buddy taking a swing at him when he came off the field in his pee wee days.
There’s exactly one link on the page. Try clicking it!
Is this post based on some actual evidence?
Did Rex Ryan catch a bit of the dyslexia bug that has been going around?
Rhymes, I read it that way too.
Spatula, I think that would be his Vietnamese cousin.
Darren Sproles thinks you should l-l-l-l-a-a-a-y-y-y o-o-o-o-f-f-f-f.
I think a post of Hines reading the bounty note from DyslexyRexy is in order.
This was like a word jumble in the news paper, except without the gay cartoon.
THINGS. Jafo are ‘tarded.
@ your wife’s lipstick: preprinted sig line on Jets Letterhead. Keeps thigs tidy.
Hear about the guy who was insomniac, agnostic, and dyslexic?
He’d lay awake all night pondering the existence of Dog.
So how did he not f-up his signature?
I read it after the jump, and other than the lack of a spell check it looks like any other basic form letter….
PUNTE, you’re just crazy.
Rex’s favorite players:
kellen clemens, Alan Faneca, Bubba Franks, Kris Jenkins, Danny Woodhead
Dyslexics have more fnu!
This is twice as easy as reading Hines-speak, and 20 times easier than reading Brittfar.
“Dyslexy Rexy” is fucking hilarious.
“I flee lkie I hvae dreseved hits fro a lnog tmei now” => “I feel like I have deserved shit for a long time now”
Well, you got it: a job with the New York Jets!
Isn’t “Nad godo lcuk” Hines Ward’s cousin?
I love hgue ttsi.
@claude balls
you’ve never heard anyone call them titsies?
Dyslexy Rexy’s defense did put a bounty on Hines last year. Maybe he thought Hinesspeak was mocking him.
Grimey wins.
Note to Punter: “Titties” has three “t’s” and only one “s”
Everything is awesome when read aloud in a drunk Harry Caray voice. Especially, cease and desist letters from his widow.
did you hear about the dyslexic guy that sold his soul to Santa?
Dyslexics of the world untie!
A dyslexic walks into a bra…
This letter is awesome if you read it aloud in drunk Harry Caray voice.
As a sufferer of dysgraphia, I find this post fucking hiliraous. hilarious? hialarious? shit. and ‘dyslexy rexy’ best be on a shirt by the end of the day.
+1 grimey
lolz…well done.
Though I must admit, I expected this to be an “I’ve stepped over bigger guys than Monday Morning Punter to get into a fight” post.
Next: A dyslexic Hines Ward gets into an argument with Chad Ochocinco over who can imitate Brittfar the best.
Well shit, just drop the “A” from Toyota and they’re the perfect sponsor.
Vinny from Rockaway is confused
I’m really upset right now because this is the quickest I was ever able to read….anything.
admmit!
Dyslexy Rexy, Hines Wald, Brittfarr, Emmitt Smiff, and Chad Ochocinco start a blog……
+1 Skins
adn jzee pntuer htas’t jtsu rwnog
ouy suolhdt’n ikpc on teh ahidnacp
/dkci jkeo
@ Grimace … Cannondyslex
Sounds like a Buddy Ryan move, “my kid ain’t goin to no special school, he’s just got the dispepsia.”
+1 for Dyslexy Rexy.
Dyslexcannon?
Muhammad Ali sees nothing wrong with this letter.
Thank God Favre left I don’t think i would have attempted to read a post of those two talking to each other.
Who would have thought – he looks like such a bright guy.
That’s easier to read than the handwritten letter I got from Michael J. Fox
Man, I thought trying to decipher Hines-speak was tough.
Taht’s raelly inconsedirate
Rex Ryan: NFL Coach by day, Internet message board commenter by night.