Brandon Marshall Successfully Cuts Ties With Terribly Unsupportive Team That Covered Up His Wife Beating. It’s “Get Away With Murder Day” at KSK today. See if you can follow this logic. Talented Broncos wideout Brandon Marshall is accused of beating his ex-girlfriend multiple times, and for coming at her with a brick. In turn, the Broncos ask the victim, more or less, to keep quiet on the matter. Outside The Lines airs the whole sordid affair, including a reported fight between Marshall and his NEW fiancee. Marshall responds to this whole thing by demanding the Broncos trade him. Because they were so disloyal, you see. A real class NFL team would have taped his fists before he started wailing on his lady. That’s how the Bengals would have done it. Anyway, the Broncos actually AGREED to trade him today (They haven’t traded him yet, but Pat Bowlen enjoys bargaining without leverage. He’s a real wild man like that.). Apparently, you can force a trade in Denver simply by asking Bowlen, “pretty please with sugar on top.” Congrats, Broncos fans. Your team has again vastly downgraded its skill positions in order to acquire first round picks it will then trade for fourth round picks. Drink up.
Tags: quick hits, terrible people
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June 16th, 2009 at 3:17 pm
Broncos lose Cutler and now most likely Marshall, factor their defense into the mix and it really sucks to be a Broncos fan.
June 16th, 2009 at 3:21 pm
yes but what does Stefan Fatsis have to say about this?
/great book
June 16th, 2009 at 3:21 pm
i think they’re all scared of the return of Rapeasaurus
June 16th, 2009 at 3:22 pm
Since this is a blog about professional athletes (and, sometimes sexual fetishes) shouldn’t the “terrible people” tag be a mainstay?
June 16th, 2009 at 3:22 pm
Maybe KSK should start a weekly “Bronco Fan Suicide Watch Mailbag” column, or something along those lines.
June 16th, 2009 at 3:25 pm
Seahawks fans must be jizzing in their pants at the news.
June 16th, 2009 at 3:27 pm
The 2010 1st round pick that Professor McDaniels gifted the Seahawks with is looking better and better by the day. Rejoice!
June 16th, 2009 at 3:27 pm
Broncos players apparently really don’t like SuperAIDS
June 16th, 2009 at 3:36 pm
“Fuck it – let’s go to Breckenridge”
/Bronco nation
June 16th, 2009 at 3:42 pm
I thought getting your ass beat was just part of the whole “pro ballplayer girlfriend” experience. It’s not all bling and Courvoisier, sometimes you gotta take one or 6 for the team. It’s called being supportive.
June 16th, 2009 at 3:54 pm
+1 Slash.
I think McDaniels is going to be the first coach to have his team go 0-18 within the framework of a 16 game schedule. You’ve got to try really hard to suck this fucking bad at being a head coach.
June 16th, 2009 at 3:54 pm
Homer : Aw … The Denver Broncos !?!
Marge : I think owning the Denver Broncos is pretty good.
Homer : Yeah, yeah.
Marge : Well, explain to me why it isn’t.
Homer : You just don’t understand football, Marge.
June 16th, 2009 at 4:01 pm
But guys! They drafted Knowshown Moreno in the first round!
June 16th, 2009 at 4:02 pm
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
That is all
June 16th, 2009 at 4:05 pm
@ Otto
+1. Great reference, sir.
June 16th, 2009 at 4:14 pm
Pretty please with sugar on top, clean the fucking car.
Pretty please with sugar on top, sell the fucking franchise.
/Taking Dan Snyder anyday and twice on draftday.
June 16th, 2009 at 4:22 pm
Has a coach ever been fired before his first game?
June 16th, 2009 at 4:27 pm
Goddamnit, I miss the Rat Fink and his Corinthian leather hide. The Belichick Junior wanna-be will be out after next season, when we finish behind the Raiders.
@denvergodfather: ditto.
June 16th, 2009 at 4:31 pm
Marshall just needs to live a state with more enlightened domestic violence laws.
June 16th, 2009 at 4:35 pm
Is there a “Broncos Implosion” tag yet? Because there most certainly should be.
You could also opt for a double-meaning tag like “Taking a Trip to the Glue Factory,” or something similar.
June 16th, 2009 at 4:38 pm
@Danish,
Josh McDaniels feels your look.
June 16th, 2009 at 4:44 pm
Every time I drive down the road, I want to jerk the wheel into a GOD DAMN BRIDGE ABUTMENT!
June 16th, 2009 at 4:45 pm
i’m a Seahawks fan, and i just jizzed in my pants.
June 16th, 2009 at 4:51 pm
So if Marshall Law is ever declared, do we just grab the nearest female and punch her in the face?
June 16th, 2009 at 4:54 pm
Otto wins
June 16th, 2009 at 5:02 pm
Oooh they’re chafing in their turtleneck’s in Denver.
June 16th, 2009 at 5:07 pm
Mr. Marshall just found a new neighborhood. Too bad he works Sundays.
http://thechive.com/2009/06/daily-afternoon-randomness-61609-20-photos/random-race-stuff-0/
June 16th, 2009 at 5:12 pm
Don’t mind me, I’ll just be over here drinking for the rest of my life.
June 16th, 2009 at 5:15 pm
The Ravens are reportedly conducting “due diligence” on Marshall. Seriously.
June 16th, 2009 at 5:30 pm
Ocho and Brandon under one roof; coming next week.
June 16th, 2009 at 5:54 pm
I’m a Seahawks fan, and I jizzed in my pants…well, actually I jizzed after reading how Brandon Marshall beating his ex-girlfriend. Women getting beaten up is erotic enough, but the brick part brought me home.
Denver’s 1st round pick is pretty cool, too. Give me a couple minutes, and I’ll see if the love ladle has any man chowder left.
June 16th, 2009 at 5:55 pm
Marshall must also be an honorary Colorado Buffalo. Kyle Orton weeps into his neckbeard.
June 16th, 2009 at 6:01 pm
I hate McDaniels as much as the next looking-for-the-nearest-bridge-from-which-to-throw-myself Broncos fan, but I don’t think this latest fiasco is on him. It sounds like Marshall is an idiot and Bowlen is a pushover moreso than McDaniels McDanielsed anything.
June 16th, 2009 at 6:15 pm
LaFavre: No, but they’ve quit the Jets before the first practice as they’re so dysfunctional.
June 16th, 2009 at 7:01 pm
Pat Bowen has as solid a grasp of the reigns as Joe Buck’s booker.
/mmm, Booker’s
June 16th, 2009 at 7:01 pm
Marshall will fit in perfect with Ray the Slasher in Baltimore.
June 16th, 2009 at 7:01 pm
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaahhaahahah
June 16th, 2009 at 7:01 pm
oh and i was laughing at the broncos stupidity
June 16th, 2009 at 7:53 pm
But I…You see…and…..but………………..*drinks self into stupor*
June 16th, 2009 at 7:54 pm
I’m a seahawks fan…this turns me as much as tory lane. this year i have 2 teams to root for. the hawks and whoever’s playing the broncos
June 16th, 2009 at 8:10 pm
Hey spilly! Before you get yourself all alco-poisoned up, please link to a high-rez of thet pic. of yours..!
June 16th, 2009 at 8:25 pm
Ahhhh…these truly are the Raiders of the Rockies.
Now if only the Raiders would stop acting like the Bengals by the Bay.
By the by, did the terms “Land Baron™” and “Brittfar™” originate here at KSK? Because Steve Czaban used both those terms in one sentence on the radio this morning, and my thoughts naturally turned here even though I was on the fucking mail trail for the next five hours after that.
June 16th, 2009 at 9:38 pm
Has any head coach ever had as negative an impact on his franchise as Josh McSterrpid before even so much as running a training camp?
June 16th, 2009 at 10:42 pm
As a Bears fan who has thoroughly enjoyed watching meatball Denver fans insisting that they got the better of our little transaction, and that Denver knows what the hell it’s doing, I heartily approve this turn of events.
This is not to say I want Chicago to pursue Marshall, of course. Dude is insane, and another suspension waiting to happen.
June 16th, 2009 at 10:53 pm
You see, I met Mr. Bowlen once. He is a smart man and he knows what he is doing. Very friendly, too friendly almost.
He has a great handshake, lofty handshake. Did I mention he is from Alberta, Canada?
/Lofty self mutilation…hanging…death
June 16th, 2009 at 11:53 pm
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
/Broncos fan
June 16th, 2009 at 11:55 pm
Thank you Broncos. Thank you.
Please focus all of your off season attention upon this franchise. They are newsworthy.
/Brain damaged Vikings fan.
//Fuck You Brett Favre!
June 17th, 2009 at 1:12 am
Dear Brandon,
Get fucked you ungrateful piece of shit. Karma is real and it is powerful. We know because we Bronco fans turned a blind eye to all your bullshit over the past three years (particularly the multiple physical altercations with women, which is beyond disgraceful and should shame all of us who rooted for you) and your desired departure is our karmic reward. We supported you, we spoke of your on-field exploits with reverence and pride, we bought your fucking jersey . . . and this is the thanks we get (and probably deserve).
I hope whatever you get is much, much worse. Hopefully it includes financial ruin, a painful venereal disease and an addiction to Zycam. I hope you hit the wrong woman in whatever shit city you end up in (c’mon, Cleveland or Detroit!) and she knows some serious, connected men and they come to your home in the middle of the night and tear out your MCL with rusty butter knives and eat it right in front of you.
Actually, I hope you find your way to Chicago where you and that fat, boozed up, Bama-banged malcontent can absorb a karmic shitstorm that is unprecedented in scale and pure schadenfreude. My dream is that you’ll both tear your Achilles tendons in the same game during a botched end around that also results in the opposing team returning a fumble for a game winning touchdown. I hope this is a playoff game. That would give me peace of mind . . . because right now, I’m so disappointed and angry and almost drunk that I can barely see. You disgust me. But still not as much as Cutler does.
Lastly, is Bowlen senile or what? If you’re going to leave, at least tell us what we’re dealing with in terms of our owner’s mental state. Give us that.
Eat My Ass,
Flip
June 17th, 2009 at 1:52 am
Bronco fans tears are like candy. This is going to be a great season!
June 17th, 2009 at 2:23 am
I mean, fuck. The thing to remember here is that Marshall is acting like a fucking idiot. And on most teams, when a player is acting like a fucking idiot, the management is content to sit tight until the player (or more likely, his agent) realizes he’s acting like a fucking idiot and decides to stop acting like a fucking idiot. But instead, McDaniels and Bowlen are rushing to join Marshall in the absurd alternate universe where he’s got actual trade value. Fuck that noise. Tell him he’s still under contract and he’s not getting any more money until he gets his life in order. Hell, even taking the risk of paying him is better than this bullshit.
I hope they all get Super AIDS and then catch fire.
June 17th, 2009 at 4:03 am
Bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha………. AHHH hahahahahahahahahahahaha SAM BRADFORD BITCH!!!
June 17th, 2009 at 7:34 am
“I hope this is a playoff game.”
Don’t hope for that! Remember we traded our 1st and kept CHI’s! BECAUSE THAT IS THE CUNNING OF JOSH MCDANIELS
June 17th, 2009 at 10:21 am
This is how this situation should have worked:
Marshall: Mr. Bowlen, I’d like to be traded
Bowlen: That’s too bad Brandon, what’s the problem?
Marshall: Well, with Jay Cutlersulker gone, I don’t have any trust that this Orton guy can get me the ball.
Bowlen: Really? Wow, that’s too bad…
Marshall: Seriously, I think I’d be better off somewhere else and the draft picks you got back could be a big help
Bowlen: So it’s about helping me then? Hmmm… Isn’t this really about you beating up your fiancée and us not willing to cover it up any more?
Marshall: …
Bowlen: Yeah, I saw Outside the Lines too. You lied your ass off to Bob Ley. I know all about that shit
Marshall: … but Mr. Bowlen…you…you know I couldn’t have done that, I was focused on winning ga…
Bowlen: Shut your lying mouth you little shit. Now you listen up and you listen good. Not only are we not going to trade you, but I’m going to tell Coach super AIDS to bench your sorry ass until your attitude changes.
Marshall: … but …
Bowlen: I said shut the fuck up shitstain. Now you’re gonna practice and you’re gonna fucking like it. You’re going to talk to the media and tell them this was a big misunderstanding or so help me God, we’ll bury you so far on the depth chart, you’ll be begging to suck my dick for playing time. Are we clear?
Marshall: well…I…I…guess so
Bowlen: I CAN’T HEAR YOU PANSY DICK!
Marshall: YES SIR!
Bowlen: Good. And if you see a few town cars outside your house, don’t worry about it. My “associates” will be there to “observe you.” Now get the fuck outta my sight before I pay a gang member to pull a home invasion on your sorry ass.
Marshall: {under breath} damn, Kennard said this shit would work.
Bowlen: I heard you moron. Tell your agent I’ll be looking for his sorry ass next.
Too bad Bowlen is a limp dick candy ass…
June 17th, 2009 at 10:29 am
There are Bronco fans who insist Denver knows what it’s doing? Forget about the Cutler fiasco (FWIW, he was almost the sole reason several 4-12 caliber teams finished around .500), but after the fucking draft day trade with the Seahawks? Seriously?
You have a team with no defense and no QB. Knowing this, you trade what is damned near guaranteed to be a Top 10 draft pick in 2010 and trade it for a second rounder? That is Al Davis territory.
In addition to Seahawk fans, Charger fans (if there are any) have to be loving life. They essentially have a bye into the playoffs (with first round home game!) for the next 5 years or so.
June 17th, 2009 at 10:43 am
Seattle fans are dying to know how their team is going to fuck up this pick next year.
June 17th, 2009 at 12:09 pm
I think I’ll just slit my wrists now so as to avoid the looming worst season in Broncos history.
June 17th, 2009 at 12:12 pm
As a Colts fan, I’m trying to equate what it must be like to be a Chargers fan right now. I mean, they’re guaranteed 8 wins and a Division title before the season even starts. The Broncos could go 0-16 next season. Yeesh.
June 17th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
We will still be better than the Raiders.
Mark my words and place your wagers.
June 17th, 2009 at 12:22 pm
My expectations are so low that I don’t give a shit anymore. Have fun being the new Detroir Lions, jackoffs.
June 17th, 2009 at 12:22 pm
*Detroit
June 17th, 2009 at 6:05 pm
It’s gonna be nice having the #1 overall pick next year. Thank you Denver, Seattle will be forever grateful. I hope Alphonso Smith is worth the #1 overall pick in 2010. Dont worry though, you do have Neck Beard and umm.. Darrell Jackson… and Brandon Stokely…… and ummm… your defense…?
June 17th, 2009 at 10:41 pm
gonna be bleak in Denver. i actually can’t wait for the season…expecations. so. low. (so many free tickets to home games given to me as well)
June 18th, 2009 at 9:17 am
The silver lining in this is that the shit-stain that is Josh McDaniels will be out of a job at most 2 seasons down the road.
June 19th, 2009 at 3:44 am
Waiting to see how we are going to fuck up that pick? Are we a bad drafting team and I just never noticed, or are you just a (reasonably) bitter Denver fan?
June 19th, 2009 at 4:16 am
wow you dickheads hes not asking for a trade because of the story hes asking for a trade because hes not gonna get a new contract fucking dont post dumb shit you dont even fully know about stupid fuck
June 19th, 2009 at 8:16 pm
God I miss Shanahan, at least with him the worst that would happen is he’d call a timeout before a field goal. Now we’re fuckingfuckityfuckfucked. We have been ever since that bastardo Brien Griese ended the career of one of the best running backs.
I really hate McDaniels. Oh, and Griese. Those two should have a meeting so someone can throw a single grenade into their room.
I’ll be surprised if we win more than 4 games, now that neckbeard is in the same situation he was with da’ Bears. A couple decent guys who shouldn’t be the first or second WR’s.
Does anyone know how to induce a coma?