HOW BE YE, LANDLUBBING COW RANCHERS!? Buried deep within this Dan Le Batard column about how all coaches in pro sports are miserable (shocker!) and how icons like Jimmy Johnson are only truly happy after they leave the game and spend their millions on a languorous post-career lifestyle that includes frolicking underwater with porpoises and buying new boats every six months, lies this nugget: “[wife] Rhonda organizes the house parties with themes. Pirates are next, for example.” Sure, pirate parties sound like a lark, Jimmy. UNTIL THEY WENT AND GOT GOVERNING RESPONSIBILITIES. Hello, stressers.
Tags: angry pirate, Jimmy Johnson, quick hit, xmas ape
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June 8th, 2009 at 10:11 am
Have we bottomed out yet?
June 8th, 2009 at 10:19 am
If I knew it was going to be this kind of party I would have stuck my dick in the mashed potatoes.
June 8th, 2009 at 10:44 am
We could learn a lot from the Swedes.
June 8th, 2009 at 10:52 am
‘da fuck is languorous?
June 8th, 2009 at 10:54 am
Clearly, Jimmy and Rhonda are swingers. I would have been happier not knowing that.
June 8th, 2009 at 11:02 am
Yeah, what Tracer Bullet said. First thing I thought of, unfortunately. Swingers are almost never young, attractive people. They’re almost always old and… not so attractive.
I’m picturing Jimmy now, chasing a wench around his house wearing nothing but an eye patch and pirate hat. (shudder)
June 8th, 2009 at 11:11 am
‘da fuck is languorous?
It means chill, brah.
June 8th, 2009 at 11:24 am
Swedish people are stupid. But Jimmy knows how to party. Learned everything I know from him.
June 8th, 2009 at 11:36 am
@ Slash – With a parrot on his shoulder
June 8th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Hole up, Hole up – aren’t swedish pirates Vikings?
June 8th, 2009 at 12:09 pm
I feel like I should comment here
June 8th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
as long as we sic the Navy Seals on these pirates also.
June 8th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
Jimmy Johnson… secret hipster?
June 8th, 2009 at 12:41 pm
RE Dan From Chicago Says:
“@ Slash – With a parrot on his shoulder”
Of course, because the parrot likes to watch.
June 8th, 2009 at 12:59 pm
“*squawk* Polly wanna Viagra. *squawk*”
June 8th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
this could use a “bad MS paint” tag
June 8th, 2009 at 6:49 pm
aren’t swedish pirates Vikings?
Yeah, but the sucky kind of Viking. Norwegian, Danish and Icelandic Vikings (in that order) are the best kind. Finns don’t count. They’re weirdos.